Tfw you eat a big bowl of beans

>tfw you eat a big bowl of beans

I already feel it coming

>tfw thinking about dem deenz

>beans on buttered white toast topped with grated cheese and freshly cracked black pepper
Is there anything that tops this?

go way britbong

>saute black beans, broccoli, onions, and savoy cabbage
>serve with olive loaf sandwich
>i am become brap

Sometimes i like to try to cook food that will give me as much gas as possible to see if i can fart so much that i can see it

no success thus far

i tried that the other day and somehow it wasn't terrible.

just stick some dyed flour in your asshole

I take laxitives regularly on top of an already high fibre diet full of fruit, veggies and very little processed food. Why? Because I can, and it makes an awesome sound when I sit down on the throne and blast a shit out in 30 seconds.

Everyone of my whatsapp friends list has at some point or another received a recording of it, because I'm a generous guy.

If you don't have enough fibre you will be constipated, but if you have too much fire you will be constipated, too. I'm sorry that there are no easy answers, but that's how the world works.

Everything works on my end

As in, you just shit no matter what? That's good for you, but you must be aware that it isn't the general experience.

>Everyone of my whatsapp friends list has at some point or another received a recording of it, because I'm a generous guy.

Let me get this straight. You send audio recordings of your fart/shit sessions to friends?

>feel it coming
you talking about poop or fart bruh

>on my end
I see what you did there.

Not farts, only explosive shits. The laxitives cause a sudden onset of a big noisy shit, so I carefully place my phone on the toilet systen, drop my pants then grab the phone and hit the audio record button.

I always select which friend is about to receive it while I'm walking towards the toilet, so I know I'm prepared when I get there. No time for faffing about closing other apps then navigating through to the right screen. If you'd like to be one of the select lucky people who receive these thrilling audio recordings, leave your number after the beep.

Hahaha. you keep on

I feel it coming too. And the combo of coffee and nicotine is expediting it.

But the bad thing: I'm at work right now. I'm gonna need at least 20 minutes to deal with this problem. Time I don't have.

Let me get this straight. You don't?

aahh being 14 again

>tfw you go vegan and your shits become extraordinarily massive
Best feels

don't kind what kind of bear it is until it pokes its head out the cave

Thanks mate, I will do.

why dont beans make me brap?

i can eat a 3 cans worth through the day and get nothing, yet if i eat a pb&j i start bloating uncontrollably

braaaaap

vocaroo your next shit nigger

yea a real sandwich