Decide to make scallion pancakes

ask a restaurant who their produce guy is, call up produce guy and buy a few pounds of the god damn scallions

when they look at you, don't move. they can't see, if you don't move.

or this localharvest.org and dont be too shy to call

i passed this post a few times and only read it now

10/10 good giggle

Positive they'll assume you shove it in your ass

I work at a grocery store and some dude always buys an avocado. They know and they roasting you right now.

he's not memeing just for a laugh. he's using satire as a rhetorical device to show that OPs fear is stupid and irrational. sorry about your iq bud, i think it's time for you to go back there

bagger here, I don't even recognize the vast majority of customers, and I sure as fuck don't remember what they bought last time
we have too many customers and I have too many other things to think about in and out of work

Careful son, Skyrim is a Reddit meme

>/r9ck/
a bold synthesis

I wouldn't know reddit or 9gag humor because I've never been there unlike you apparently

Go to asian market. Saves you alot of money and nobody will think it's weird.

nobody in retail gives a fuck about you or will remember you at all the next time you're there

pro tip: ask them to get the amount you need ready for tomorrow

What, instead of "that weird shifty guy who doesn't look you in the eye"?

i heard it's basically Veeky Forums humor, but 5 months late

who says you have to go to whole foods/

I’ve worked in 3 different grocery stores a while ago including Whole Foods. No one working there gives a shit about you. Even if you did make repeat purchases in a day and I somehow noticed I’d just assume you’re from a restaraunt that was running out of shit.

Here is how things are likely to play out:
>3-4 impatient people wait behind you as you tentatively approach the jaded cashier
>she mechanically asks if you found everything you need, praying you don't say anything but yes
>to your great misfortune it's the same cashier you bought scallions from twice this week already
>the smallest flash of recognition passes over her face as she finally glances up
>A surprise! she takes the 3 bundles of scallions and places them to the side of the register
>"I'm sorry, but there's a 10 bundle limit per week on these."
>"Unless you can provide a valid reason why you're buying in bulk quantities, I'll have to ask you to return on Thursday."
>her face is an expressionless rubik's cube you can't solve
>a feeble "I-ive been making scallion pancakes" squeaks out of you
>agonizing seconds pass as she appears to be judging the validity of your need
>"haha, just having a little fun with ya" as she begins to ring you up

I like to remind myself every time I'm having a shit day that people like you exist and it warms my cold dead fucking heart.

this
/thread

Relatable. I would always ask for extra mustard when i went to my local burger king. Now every week I go there, they call me Mister Mustard and dab mustard on my cheeks

Whole Foods is literally the worst possible place to go to buy scallions. Don't you have an Asian grocery store in your village?

I buy a handle of vodka every week from the same store (well, 4 different stores, each once a week), and I couldn't care less that they know I'm an alcoholic; they work at fucking grocery/liquor stores.

as long as you know you're being degenerate

Fuck off back to your containment board.

I would literally call the NSA if I saw you buying scallions in my store three times in as many days.

So you buy 4 handles per week from 4 different stores? Because that sort of signifies that you care what they think. Not just going to the same store for 4 handles. Or do you think that going to the same store once per week is a lot?

OP, you'll be fine as long as the jester doesn't see you

>tfw no qt jaded cashier waifu to poke fun at me

Same, I asked for extra curry sauce the other day at a restaurant and they started squirting the stuff all over me while pointing and laughing, calling me curry boy.

go to a different grocery store if youre concerned but its not like theyll care anyways.

they're going to point and call you the scallion man, rapscallion scallywag "the stallion of scallions"

Scallion to rapscallion.

the guys at the grocery store are going to make a parody of "aleins" called "scallions" about OP slaughtering and eating an entire planet of scallions

>Knowing what reddit and 9gag is like
lol you need to go back

shit I know that feel. I had a similar experience when buying crab legs at the movie theatre when they discovered I was there alone and thus in violation of their "no singles" policy

do theatres really have no single policies?

>forum
You should go back too.

For the opening week or two of a big release they'll usually enact it. If you're really lucky the employee checking your ticket will be too stoned to notice or care.

you've got to be squidding me

by that logic, you might as well forbid all odd numbers

One time I went to my local deli and bought a sandwich, after I finished it I realized I didn't have any mustard. When I went in and bought a bottle of dijon to chug, they told me that you have to be at least 6 foot to purchase mustard only.

>Veeky Forums
>forum
advanced form of bait or retardation? you decide

>Caring about what the people at whole foods thinks.

Fuck em, buy your scallions. Just go to a different register each time.

[spoiler]It's a /tv/ meme like the jester.[/spoiler]

Veeky Forums by its very nature is a forum you fucking mong.

>FUCK EM WHO CARES
>ah ehem try feebly to hide it by changing registers ...
Pick a side.

Thats what they tell you, but I'm 6'1/4", they told me I passed the first test but that I'd need a "normal sized" penis to actually purchase the condiment.

> thinking this type of shit is in any way new to Veeky Forums

its not you dumb quadruple nigger, its an image board. get your autistic internet terms right.

they're called spring onions you bunch of fucks

The OP pic is of scallions/green onions, not spring onions, dum dum.

wow user I had a similar experience. I was buying cans of beans for the new tub I have. We remodeled the bathroom and one of the updates is this awesome huge bath tub. Anyway, I have one of the small grocery carts full of cans of beans and I'm getting excited about going home and putting it in the tub, when the cashier goes, get this, "heh beans huh? you must like those."

I was literally shaking

underrated post

I hope Robert was there to stand up on your behalf. He's always been a good man.

The difference is like 2 weeks of growth

2 weeks is enough to turn cucumbers into pickles, so I'd say it's fine to make a distinction here too.

Shitposting aside, does anyone here have a recipe for scallion pancakes they like?

So? They're not the same thing.

So you admit there is a difference.

I'm sorry, you have autism

>d-do i fit in yet?

>being this low IQ