I'm trying to lose weight but diet and exercise aren't working so I've decided to infest myself with intestinal...

I'm trying to lose weight but diet and exercise aren't working so I've decided to infest myself with intestinal parasites so that I can eat whatever I want stay healthy. What are some dietary sources of intestinal worms? I would prefer ingesting just the eggs.

Other urls found in this thread:

washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/01/19/he-ate-raw-fish-almost-every-day-until-a-5-foot-long-tapeworm-slithered-out-of-his-body/
youtube.com/watch?v=YqzV_QJ3m48
1000waystodie.wikia.com/wiki/Die_It
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I don't know but it's worth noting that you can expel the worms later by eating papaya seed and garlic with lots of fibre.

Pic unrelated.

...

South Bronx paradise, baby!

>diet and exercise aren't working
This is bullshit. Chances are you're consuming more calories than you're burning, and not realizing it.

>South Bronx ParaSITE!
Typical liberal media

What you been eating and drinking, OP?

>diet and exercise
Hot pockets and Gameboy ?

>I'm trying to lose weight but diet and exercise aren't working

Then you aren't doing something right, you're taking in excess calories or expecting to lose 10 pounds overnight which won't happen. Most you'll lose safetly is 15 pounds in a month

>diet and exercise aren't working

lol no you're pathetic and can't diet and exercise. They work, you don't

No, switched to sweet tea, adding in guac to eat healthy, adding salad using low fat ranch, and just a starbucks in the am. Also yougurt as a snack.

my sugar drink was sugary so i switched to a sugar drink instead. Then I added fatty fruit onto everything I eat to add calories. I make up for it by also adding fatty dressing to everything I eat adding more calories. Then I get a milkshake and milky sugar cup for even more calories.

You're definitely trolling

No I'm not OP buy this is what like 99% of people do at my work when "dieting"

>eating high fat keto diet
>not in ketosis
do neets really...

It’s probably the Starbucks if anything that are pushing you over. All those drinks riddled with sugar and calories. There’s a reason that diets ask you to drink mostly only water. Go to a real nutritionist if possible and write down everything you eat with calories + how many you burn before doing anything stupid. It’s not possible for you to not be eating unless you’re cheating or have some thyroid problem which some people do have and you might need to go to a doctor so get that sorted out anyhow

>one stick of celery please, nothing on it.
>barkeep, I'll have one water on the rocks

What if I eat my celery with peanut butter?

Just eat salmon sushi from a few different restaurants, one of them will probably be lax enough on the sanitation procedures to let some tape worms slip past.
washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/01/19/he-ate-raw-fish-almost-every-day-until-a-5-foot-long-tapeworm-slithered-out-of-his-body/

Holy shit how obese are you, fatass?

>sweet tea
>guac
>low fat ranch
>Starbucks

That's the kind of things a fatass eats to pretend they are on a diet. Switch to water, hummus, balsamic dressing, and I hope by Starbucks you mean a normal coffee with no sugar or cream, otherwise I'll assume you're drinking a sugar saturated latte

People sell tapeworms if look for them op. Serious.

If you're on Veeky Forums regularly you're not doing either of those.

Is this really what people do? I thought I was doing a half-assed pussy diet when I dropped my daily candy bar and cut portion sizes by around 20%. It worked and I lost about 20 pounds (I was 170 and should've been around 140-150 so this was a decent result), but it took 3 months which felt like a long time.

>eating a snack

I started only drinking water and haven't gained weight since

Do americans really do this?

youtube.com/watch?v=YqzV_QJ3m48

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHHHHAAAHAHAAHAHAHA

*gasps for air*

AAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Always Sunny on hiatus for a year

I hate this world

Dont get parasites user, the effects on your health can be very severe and permanent.

Its because some people don't understand dieting somehow in this information age, and think that all you have to do is eat "healthy" food to lose weight.
But they don't really know what healthy is so they eat the same junk food except maybe with a piece of lettuce or something, and might even drink diet soda instead of regular.

i just remembered fuck

Multiply your current weight X 12. So if you weigh say 300 lbs and multiply by 12 you get 3600. The number you get is the calories you need daily to maintain your weight. If you want to lose 1 pound a week, eliminate 500 calories out of your daily food intake. If you want to lose 2 pounds a week, eliminate 1000 calories out of your daily food intake. Its not really recommended to lose more than 2 pounds a week because it can mess your shit up

>Switch to water, hummus, balsamic dressing
no

Also, this is assuming youre a lazyfag, so if you dont like to exercise, you can still lose weight. But you'll eventually will want to to get muscle tone and firm up skin

I hope this is ironic

I'm not seeing any subtracting.

1000waystodie.wikia.com/wiki/Die_It


You can probably buy em from a entomologist,

>diet and exercise aren't working
No that's a lie. Its you that's not working