ITT: keto kino

hey I'm trying to have a more keto diet but I can't find the kind of answer I'm looking for.

I know what plants to put in a meal, and the meats they list are just about any meat so there's nothing specific there,
but where I'd normally have some carb with my basic whole food meal I don't know what to replace it with, a block of cheese?

I don't want to bother yet with the complicated recipes of mixed or rolled stuff, I just need something simple and comparable to "chicken, spinach, and potatoes" or "roast beef, asparagus, and potatoes"

only what to replace potatoes with? I know how to cook these simple things and I don't want their fancy recipes when making lunches for the week

also which is the MOST keto meat? is it pork belly? whats the next few after that (in order)
see I don't think I can stomach eating a block of cheese every day

Why not just replace the chips with beef jerky chips. I don’t get it.

Boil chicken breast, blend it into a paste, and then whip it in a stand mixer with sour cream. Bam, mashed ketoters

that sounds gross but I just might try it

why the breast though? wouldn't you want dark meat? don't you want more fat?

fuck that sounds fantastic

If you want to be boring, you can just steam half a head of cauliflower and eat that with butter as if it was a potato. Or you could make mashed cauliflower. It's actually a really great alternative to potatoes.

maybe stop being so autistically attached to having 3 things on your plate?

any one drink diet sodas on keto with aspartame?

I've been on a long keto diet and recently my sister brought this pack of sugar free citrus soda and it's so fucking good but i think it'll prob kill my ketosis

What do you think? Do i just not touch the stuff or will I be fine?

>don't you want more fat
You were going to add gravy, weren't you user?

Seltzer, dude

no, I make boring easy lunches and don't waste time with gravy

it's not about the number of things on the plate, it's about not having to roll up shit or chop a bunch of things and mix it into one big "salad", so I like a little variety/separation between foods.

The real point is to not have to learn some complicated recipe while I'm just starting out

Make enough for the week, it's a serious quality of life boost. I use literally all my carbs on roux

Coffee with grass fed butter, dude. You are missing an opportunity.

You may have just changed my life, friend

Just have protein and vegetables. Or add a green salad. There's no comparable replacement. You don't eat carbs. You eat more fat. You eat less volume, yet you're just not hungry because of the fat calories. The idea that you have to have this "balanced" bulky meal on your plate is culturally arbitrary like cleaning your plate or eggs are only for morning meals. Just eat to meet your caloric and nutritional needs.

I just thought there wasn't enough fat in the meat and veg alone?

So asses the calories on your plate and add the extra fat of your choice to meet your needs. Olive oil, bacon fat, butter, avocado oil, walnut oil, sour cream or whatever. This actually makes food taste better like adding salt and spices do.

I know it sounds fucking weird. But the whole idea that fat is bad for you is just fucking wrong. Fat is good for you. You can still overeat, but it's really easy to measure fat calories. 1 tablespoon is about 100 calories. I've been doing this for a while. I'll eat a meal of some kind of meat and green vegetables, then pour a few spoonfuls of olive oil over over it and some sea salt. I'm thin and muscular now. It's really funny.

I've been wanting to make this for so long

A mate once made me a good strong coffee with a teaspoon of cannibutter, tasted awesome and kicked my ass three ways to sunday...

Hell of a trip.

Is fathead dough legitimately good or is it "close enough" good?

the other day I made meatballs with crushed pork rinds instead of breadcrumbs. really adds a punch of umami. good shit

are these baked or pan fried?

Cauliflower is the answer you seek. I usually make a cheese sauce and inundate the cauliflower with that.

>which is the MOST keto meat?
No such thing. All meats work fine.

I think you might be misunderstanding what "keto diet" means. It doesn't mean "eat a block of cheese" (although you can if you want to). It means "eliminate carbohydrates, eat a moderate amount of protein (typically 90-120g per day), and eat fats if you need more energy." Carbs is a limit, protein is a goal, fats are "as needed". The less fats you eat, the faster you will burn your own blubber (assuming weight loss is your goal).

I find that I am so not hungry thanks to keto that I usually only eat one meal in the morning, and then have something small late in the evening.

>drink diet sodas
Sure, why not? Aspartame is basically a protein (or, more specifically, "a methyl ester of a dipeptide").

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspartame

That black cherry Fresca is fucking awesome. I wish I could get it here, but they don't sell it in this country.

Also want to know this. Ingredients are too expensive for me to hate it.

>shredded mozzarella cheese
>Almond meal
>Cream cheese
>Eggs

>Expensive

How poor are you?

Almond flour is expensive, where I live it's like €9 for a little bag

I made pizza with it once. Honestly it’s not really comparable to regular dough, and I would even say it’s better (its made out of cheese ffs). It’s like a whole other thing that actually is really flavorful unlike flour dough

Is it possible to make it without the almond flour? I’m on carnivore diet

hOOOOOLLLLllyy shiiittt! That is so much sodium

You should have higher sodium intake with keto, and higher fluid intake.

Will it hold its shape well or does it fall apart when you try to pick it up?

how the fuck is breading, noodles, flour keto?

Fathead dough is cheese, eggs & almond meal

That's a cheese shell

Those are zoodles

Care to share the recipe, my dude?

What kind of pan do you use for those? I tried to make them in my best nonstick pan and it was a disaster

>umami

I made deep-fried "keto" mozzarella sticks with crushed pork rinds instead of breadcrumbs. Tasted much better than regular bread crumb

I prefer the sausage "crust". Just spread a thin layer of sausage on the pan. Lou Malnati's will even make you one of these if you go to one of their restaurants.

Keto is completely retarded cult bullshit. Do you fucking idiots actually think a product based on 80% animal products is healthy or ethical? There is no population in human history that ate this way which was healthy

>Greenland Inuit
Ate a diet almost entirely built on seal, whale, fish and tuna. Yet they are a population with an average lifespan of 64, despite an immunity to AIDS and HIV which is usually the cause of such life expectancies (in Africa for example). The western diet has improved their health, actually.

>Kenyan Masaai
Spent thousands of years eating African Savannah animals, like Tigers, Elephant, Hippo, Hyena and Wolves. Yet they are in a state of malnourishment and have actually had to evolve a mechanism by which to repress scurvy and beta carotene deficiency which limits their life expectancy to 64.

>French Revolutionaries
Had no access to government controlled vegetables, and had to eat cheese and butter as the foundation of their diet. 'Keto' is actually named for 'Le Toes' which was a french revolutionary dish of pickled cow toes with a cheese and buttersauce. Average lifespan? 60.

>Native American Macs
Pemmican and cheeseburgers formed 80% of their diet, and now? They are extinct.

>Japanese Paddy Whackers
Group of Japanese who attacked rice paddies in the aftermath of Hiroshima because they believed them to be infected with radiation, and refused to eat anything other than animal products. Life expectancy in Japan? 85. Life expectancy of the JPW? 70.

People haven't been eating refined sugars and grains either until recently.

Keto and super lowcarb is a good way for people to lose weight. Your average person should eat vegetables, whole fiberous grain and fatty animal products.

>correlation = causation

Honestly, the two reasons why I can't do keto or wrap my head around why it's a good idea is that it's so much sodium and cholesterol intake. That shit is gonna catch up to you quick with high blood pressure/heart attack!

Why do you use so many exclamation points like a middle aged housewife?

>hard shell tacos

fucking trash, mexicans would spit in your face. hard shell tacos were invented by taco bell because they don't go bad during shipping, they are fucking awful.

jerky has a lot of sugar in it

fuck the mexicans.

>'Keto' is actually named for 'Le Toes' which was a french revolutionary dish of pickled cow toes with a cheese and buttersauce
>>Native American Macs
>>Japanese Paddy Whackers

>caring what Mexicans think
Anyways, freshly fried hard shells are pretty tasty, even if I do prefer soft ones.

Eating cholesterol does not cause cholesterol buildup in your blood vessels. It's completely seperate. Also the salt scare is exaggerated.

>implying I care what non-citizens think
#litty

i'm illiterate and so, i am wondering, what does cause buildup instead?

thankyou

I just don't want to have to relearn a bunch of recipes and have to buy a bunch of new stuff. Also I don't count calories or weigh food, I just limit myself to what fits in my lunch box for one meal a day and just go by small serving sizes. Trying to build up to an extended fast, if my social network doesn't try to ruin it again

>Japanese Paddy Whackers
You actually got two people despite this. Truly we live in an age of miracles.

>so much sodium
What sodium? The only added salt I use on anything is when I boil cauliflower. I do need to eat an avocado occasionally to keep my potassium from cratering, though.

Keto is about protein, fats, and eliminating carbs. It's entirely your choice how much salt you add.

Contrary to what Climate Change fanatics believe, the science ISN'T settled.

There's constantly evolving research on what causes arterosclerosis. One of the favorite candidates a few years ago was inflammatory responses by the body. I don't know if that's still the case. One thing that's pretty well been disproved is the notion that eating eggs raises cholesterol; dietary cholesterol intake is unrelated to what's in your body. The stuff you eat just gets digested or excreted, it doesn't magically migrate to your arteries and clog them.

Why not just drink an electrolyte supplement, like Mio Fit?

I am in the middle of shithole Asia. I can't read the local moonrunes, and even if I could, I have zero interest in buying stuff that probably got industrial chemicals mixed into it to make it cheaper so that the scumbags selling it can buy another Mercedes this year. I eat food, not processed powders of uncertain provenance.

Avocado works fine.

What're some good really easy keto recipies? I don't have much time for cooking

Found out today that I can have coffee on keto. That'll make things so much easier. I was getting kind of sick of water, and didn't like the thought of diet soda.

almond flour bread

biltong jerky has fuck-all sugar or carbs in it.
If you're a burger, you#ll have to order it off of amazon though

why couldn't you have coffee on a no carb diet? im confused user. otherwise, you have proven that keto is a meme

Make your own

protip.
add a teaspoon of butter, a teaspoon of coconut oil some stevia, and a pinch cinnamon to your coffee and blend it up. you now have keto-friendly, bulletproof coffee.
P.S. a tablespoon of cinnamon a day keeps your insulin levels from spiking, which is half the battle on keto

yep, I would never trust an energy drink made by the same people who came up with the concept of ''counterfeit meat''

Or you could skip this complicated retarded shit and put cream or half & half in your coffee.

Oh man I made those today and they came out terrible. My dough didn’t come out well at all. Think I heated it up too much.

What recipie did you use?

>you could always do a simpler version of a more complicated recipe
great contribution. why not just drink a glass of heavy whipping cream or straight lard? because it's not as tasty or satisfying.

Eh, well. I don't find butter coffee to be nearly as tasty as half & half in my coffee. And coconut oil really tastes like nothing special. Let alone that these fats won't emulsify in hot liquid without a blender and adding stevia means you've still got a sweet tooth and you probably have shitty coffee. I think it was a valid contribution.

And heavy cream in coffee would actually taste great. It is the literal definition of creamy.

turkey, flaxseed, coconut flour (for fiber), and paprika puree on a bed of sprouts

excuse the off lighting

That looks and sounds terrible. Did it taste good?

not really, i had to put a lot of mustard on top. but it's healthy

I think I would have just made turkey meatballs or a burger steak and eaten it with a bean sprout salad or something. Maybe it could have worked in turkey meatloaf form with the flours, ground turkey and an egg.

The video that the image is from. I made fathead pizza dough before and it was good. Just didn’t work well this time. Still tastes pretty good but didn’t get a nice clean crust like the pic

Wow, that's legitimately one of the worst looking dishes I've ever seen. How did you come up with it?

I legitimately thought coffee somehow had carbs, but I think my brain made the connection that caffeine counted as carbs. It was purely my own stupidity and assumptions.

I actually have been using heavy whipping cream for my coffee. I tend to drink it black, but my particular daily routine has 2tbsp of heavy cream so I figured I might as well use it in coffee when not in other things.

My most successful (in terms of weight loss and not being hungry) meal on keto:
>3 or 4 eggs scrambled with cheese added
>good portion of Trader Joe's ends n pieces bacon (like almost half a bag)

I can eat a big plate of that at 9am and literally not be hungry again until 9am the next day. I often go almost full weeks eating only this and lose a shit ton of weight and never feel starved. And the best part I never get tired of it.

Alternative dough recipe:

1.5 cups shredded mozzarella
1 egg plus one egg white
1 tbsp light sour cream (or regular)
1/4 cup coconut flour

Follow the same directions, doesn't taste like coconut and has less calories than the standard recipe.

Wannabe vegan faggots without the veganism: the diet

TERRIBLE analogy

>giant faggots who love the smell of their own shit
>obnoxious gross fucks
>love to brag about their stupid fuckfaced diet

Seems pretty apt to me

>brag
I haven't seen anyone brag, we're on a diet that works well for us and finding good food to stick with that diet is not always easy which is why threads like this exist
>derr youre a fat fuck
>ok I'm gonna diet
>derr youre a fat fuck on a stupid diet
kys

I see an obnoxious shithead tooting his own fat small horn because he no like le carbs xD

FUCK

YOU

Keto 4 life.

These days I eat egg salad with collard greens iit.

And smoothies made from avocado, spinach, and cranberries.

I eat pats of salted butter.

Did someone successful on keto steal your girlfriend? Or are you just mad because you couldn't keep to the diet?

It works for a lot of people. If you don't like it don't click on it