Webm Thread

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or just use a slapchop

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Have any more gifs or webems like the beginning of the webem?

can I get your recipe for ferros fluid

Don't cut off the stem until the end. There. Problem solved. Now you don't have to do any of that stupid soccer mom shit.

Gotta say, he was right about the nuts.

I still have my slapchop after 10 years now,pretty easy to clean as well

>inb4 LA beast eating lamps
>inb4 jiggly cakes
>inb4 vegan egg
>inb4 fish in a fucking mixer
>inb4 someone's entire ja/ck/ folder
>inb4 Monster melting in lava
>inb4 autistic micro sized cooking
>inb4 the crust cutter forced meme
>inb4 sad old man burning his toast and eating it
>inb4 two faggots mixing sauce and skittles
>inb4 lonely thot eating Domino's pizza and taking selfies in front of camera
>inb4 expensive japanese beef box
>inb4 a chink swallowing a squid alive
>inb4 mosquito patties
>inb4 crepe cook on cocaine along with the comment chain that ends with the Event Horizon
>inb4 cute japanese survival food
>inb4 chilli beans fountain
>inb4 grown up dudes literally cutting meat with katana
>inb4 a dude drinking 100 eggs
>inb4 cook cutting a spasming fish
>inb4 killing a crab through inserting screw in dickhole
>inb4 any webm from mexico where they mix sweets and potato chips with different sauces
>inb4 Gordon Ramsay cocaine documentary
>inb4 rolling burning pigs
>inb4 putting pasta in cheese wheel
>inb4 girl picking lobster with crane game in restaurant
>inb4 cage falling on wild boars
>inb4 any "food art" webm followed by "that will be $299 plus tip sir" comments
>inb4 faggot degreasing pizza and eating it with fork and knife
>inb4 old school Subway ad
>inb4 skinning a frog
>inb4 chinks slicing a big fish while it's in agony
>inb4 that webm with guy tapping the knife and autists reeeing in the comments
>inb4 two japanese girls blowing a cockroach at each other through a pipe
>inb4 japense food show where everything could be edible

>inb4 brainloaf
>inb4 pumpkin spice hot dog
>inb4 mac & cheese with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 banana full of spiders
>inb4 bitch gets incinerated at hibachi restaurant
>inb4 meat_sandwich.webm
>inb4 that claymation shit where a baseball turns into dice when he chops it
>inb4 ‘go’za with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 waitress slams tray of food on businessman’s head
>inb4 shooting a laser at a fucking piece of bacon
>inb4 mexicans pouring clamato on ramen and doritos in a Styrofoam container
>inb4 hotdog w/mayo balloon explosion
>inb4 LADbible presents a full English fry-up in a partitioned cast iron pan; automatic 12 replies
>inb4 Aunt Myrna's party cheese casserole
>inb4 the culling of the dirt rockets
>inb4 frankenegg.webm
>inb4 the food porn webm with jack edited in at random intervals
>inb4 curry chicken skewers and 8 replies about how gay that guy's face looks when he eats it
>inb4 twisty pasta machine
>inb4 a thousand facebook tasty videos
>inb4 deconstructed/reconstructed big mac
>inb4 gyroscopic chicken grill
>inb4 the virgin in the egg booth next to king of the egg fortress
>inb4 pineapple on a fucking pizza
>inb4 the giant platter with 10 different variations of bbq pork
>inb4 that one guy asks if the turkish coffee has pipes underneath the sand
>inb4 the pizza crust is literally a pineapple
>inb4 fried cheesey bread corn cob fuckery
>inb4 taco town
>inb4 somebody's entire culinary squid murder folder
>inb4 anime pancakes
>inb4 turkish salt man
>inb4 waitress inserting hotdog in vagina
>inb4 bulimic chick eating 20 burgers in one setting
>inb4 bee dough
>inb4 black tofu made in trash
>inb4 bartender cutting a huge icecube into a diamond
>inb4 barrel cooked chicken turns into literal ashes
>inb4 girl gazing into your soul as she cuts onions
>inb4 big booty cook
>inb4 icecream porn
>inb4 stroggification

hide post

the previous webm thread had some pretty good new webm's.like it or not, this shaming technique actually works.

>shaming technique

a mod deleted your posts in the last thread, keep it up and they'll ban you for being too autistic for Veeky Forums which I guess you could say is an achievement

hi

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haha he actually made that oobleck shit wtf

fuck you guys

I'm happy to have made the list 3 times

>tfw chopping onions doesn't make me cry

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I thought this webm might actually go somewhere, but apparently it was just, "wear a fucking glove when cutting peppers".

Stupid and pointless.

ikr? it is like hall of fame yet the autists here keep reeeeeing whenever they see it.

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>Americans have to market their mayonnaise as real
i never heard of fake mayonnaise

Holding a knife with your index finger on the top destabilizes the blade and increases the chance of fucking up your hand.

Has she EVER watched literally any cooking TV show?

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Its called miracle whip or sandwich spread. Also I'm pretty sure Europeans buy Hellman's mayo just like Americans do. That guy just has some bulk costco shit.

or just cut them and cry because there is literally nothing wrong with crying?

DO AMERICANS REALLY

yes, especially the midwestern states

>13s
>I see a ghost

WTF FLEW OUT OF THAT BOWL

Holy shit what the fuck

AHAHALMAOhe did a lil shake toooOOH LOL

When he moved the pot from the hob it spilled more oil kek

Wtf is this

Science.

Fistulated cow. They do that so they can monitor things about its stomach for research. It doesn't really bother the cow.

thats not ferros fluid at all
its a non neutonian substance called oobleck by hipsters

if you are cutting an onion and it hurts your eyes, you don't know what you are doing and should not be in the kitchen.

cutting an onion takes less than a minute.

I do this but I put eggs in the carton, because you know... it's an egg carton.

Hello mister Monsanto. Let me cut a hole in you and see how you like it.

Fucking soulless chinks...

People live with stomas just fine. This is even less obtrusive than those for the most part and doesn't hurt them. Not sure if Monsanto uses them, as well.

Is this a joke? It's a fairly common scientific procedure to measure various affects on the stomach etc.

The best part is that it's a fucking sweet pepper.

i want to fuck that girl in the ass

>Jack Black

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Monsanto is plants, child.

Yeah how do you know? The cow definitely looked over when the dude reached inside

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monsanto make the gmo grains that are fed to cows.
child
monsanto cut the holes in cows to pour in digestive liquids to force the digestion of these grains because cows can't digest them naturally.
child
this produces methane which is killing the planet (and the cows).
child
toxins from the gmo grains also filters down into the flesh of the cow that humans eat and into the milk that the cow produces that humans drink
child
that's why milk needs to go through ten million different filters and heat treatments and why raw milk is b&
child

I can't remember the last time I cried while chopping onions. And I chop some almost every day. Mainly red onions. Sometimes spanish. Not sure if that makes a difference.

yeah and the monsanto guy is fucking 10/10 bitches and making millions while you sit here shitposting on Veeky Forums
child

There's no nerve endings in your guts
There's actually no way to feel it

t. fistulated human

fukushima cuttlefish?

holy fuck I'm never drinking milk again desu

Is he pouring gasoline on it at :22?

ahhhh hahahaahh I watched it so many times and have no idea. Good catch.

This guy seems really nice, something about him is very likable.

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>the pincher has become the pinched

Water

did it died

Just sleepy

nah, it's just napping. after it's nap, it'll be set free and swim off happily.

>monsanto cut the holes in cows to pour in digestive liquids to force the digestion of these grains because cows can't digest them naturally.
Untrue. It would be way too expensive to cut holes into every cow. Fistulated cows are rare and used for various digestive research projects with the cow eating normally.
>toxins from the gmo grains
What toxins?
>that's why milk needs to go through ten million different filters and heat treatments and why raw milk is b&
Filters are used to remove physical impurities and heating is done to kill off bacteria. Raw milk isn't allowed for the most part in the U.S. because the supply chain is huge and the possibility of contamination during transport is fairly high.
There's nothing inherently wrong with GM grains, and the problems that should be focused on with Monsanto are their shady business practices and litigation.

Jack's non-newtonian chicken is lit

If cows were fed their natual diet would there be a need to cut holes into them?

>amerisharts

Which Jack is this?

First off, I need you to define 'natural diet' since cows are domesticated. Second off, absolutely yes. Disease or general research, just like we do with humans. It'd be one thing if this was some strange, alien procedure, but we do literally that exact same thing to humans, so you don't really have a leg to stand on here.

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>cows are domesticated
You mean held captive against their will and force fed garbage while being tortured and raped by scientists who cut holes into them for """"their benefit""".

My fucking hero!

>what is natural diet
Well I'm fairly sure that cows didn't eat fish before we domesticated them. What do you think they ate?

How many people are plucked off the street to use as guinea pigs for science? Or do people volunteer for such things?

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All of you are being stupid
cows are domesticated, which means they've been bred to eat what we want them to eat
that being said, certain foods are better for cows than others, meaning cows would more likely eat grasses over corn based feed if we released them into the wild

pretty much.

monsanto like to play god by creating monsters and patenting nature.

Good post

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Nuts?

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that's adorable

people in the west will think that cow is undernourished because western cows are fattened up. but people who believe that cows are sacred don't harm them by giving them diabetes and mad cow disease.

Did they fuck?

So what if I like my cows THICC.

>if i marry a fat one she won't cheat on me
do americans really

Cows couldn't eat grains regardless of whether they were GMO or not.

I also found out that wearing contact lenses somehow stop this from happening too.

Onions are like Medusa. The secret is to not look directly at it.

literally no one said anything about the cows size you stupid fuck.

did i upset you?

Unlike India we don't marry cows.

>>[source needed]

hippie

>newfags hate this pasta
I was there when the first version of this was posted. I love it.

Was I wrong?

abandon thread, there are pajeets in the hull.

no, you guys are marrying whales.