Let's talk about girls

>a party or bar
>where rapists also go

Girls drink like fish when boys aren’t around.

There's 2 possible explanations for that user
1. Women like to exaggerate their abilities so they seem equal too or better than men with the hope that their claims will never be challenged
2. Women will either knowingly or subconsciously claim to like the same things on the same level as a potential mate to seem more interesting

They always order a small meal, often from the kids menu, because they're watching their weight. Then they eat half your meal because they "want to see what it tastes like." Then they go Dutch because they're all empowered and pay their own way, but they only pay for their own tiny meal, not half the bill. They ate over half the food, god damn it.

Then they say they just want to be friends, but when you try to visit they're always too busy. That's not what friends do, damn it. That's not how friends are with each other.

They want to hang out when they need help moving though. Women just have the worst luck.

You get answers asking the people involved instead of asking Veeky Forums.

>i'm really busy right now sorry, maybe another time

is that so hard?

Just because women don't know how to treat friends doesn't mean men should treat their women friends badly.

no, when dealing with adult children you have to let them down easy, usually they won't even notice your passive aggressive choice of words and they'll just bottle it up for months until it hits them in the face

For some reason many young women see functional alcoholism as a cool and quirky trait.
Getting day-drunk on shitty wine is an aspiration for college girls.
Mostly a levels game though. When girls get drunk, they get DRUNK. Guys have an easier time pacing themselves due to physiology.

>oh ok bye
>calls up one of your friends
>they take the bait
girls always win

Yeah, you'd never catch a man thinking that functional alcoholism is cool and quirky.

day drinking

I hate how they're always fiddling with their hair. Especially when they're serving you at a restaurant. Those hands are getting pretty close to my food-- I don't want those hair germs getting on my plate.

check your short hair privilege
also a little hair grease never killed anyone, you sickly germophobe freak

Are you implying that mint chocolate chip isn't the best ice cream flavor?

The correct answer when trying to figue out why girls do shit is "who cares" get your head around this and life will be easier.

No. It's because solid waste matter needs to be disposed of once the process of digestion is complete. Letting it just sit there rotting inside the body would be unhealthy.

Having short hair is a personal preference and decision not a privilege, you mongoloid.

but user
girls dont poop

Exactly. It's like they purposely choose to have some distracting toy to play with while they're talking to you. There is no need for it. All women (and men) who handle food for a living should be required to cut it short.

keeping your hair long and grooming it regularly is a luxury only available to those with lots of free time, like kept women who don't have to work

I don't believe you.
I should ask /soc/ about this...

No, that's fucking stupid.
Unless it's truly some sort of safety risk it shouldn't matter what a person looks like as long as they are preforming their job in a professional manner. Get the work done, who gives a fuck.

The company loses business because watching a girl run her fingers through her germy hair and twisting it around her increasingly germy fingers while asking about your order spoils the appetite. A company that cares about its profits should not allow this to happen.

>I'm not hungry/I'll just have a salad
>oh wow your food looks good! Can I have some?!
>carbs are bad, I'm cutting them out of my diet
>can I have your fries?

>Let's talk about girls
what are ya a fag or something

This thread tells me that way too many people are going after shallow twats. My girl barely drinks when we're out, but it's because she knows I'm going to be shitfaced and unable to drive. It's sweet of her.

When we have people over, she drinks cocktails like it's a damned job. Her favorite drink is a Tom Collins, and I make them strong for her. She'll kill a fifth of gin in a night that way while we all take turns playing Rock Band.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please like, subscribe, and share.

Not that user, but it's exactly like eating toothpaste flavored stuff.
You and your ilk disgust me.

>tfw gf has a literal alcohol allergy
>can't even drink a sip

Good times. She loves me when I'm drunk, too

she fucking akimbos those shakes, brutal

Pic killed me XD

>tfw poor
>tfw never been to starbucks
>tfw richer friends tell me their frappawhateverchino coffee is great
>tfw like my coffee, fresh, black and heckin oily but still want to try their presumably sweet as sin "coffee"

Or maybe, MAYBE
3. Girls don't want to drink heavily around you for some reason

This is disturbingly specific. I feel like some sort of weird pervert reading this, even though you presumably wrote it yourself without coercion.

Either you have never tasted mint chocolate ice cream, or you have never brushed your teeth.

this

you're a creep user lmao

Having a girl willing to be the designated driver is the best.

It's a good thing that several of my friends have similar girls. They'll hang out and shoot the shit with each other while the guys get stupid. And then they'll go out together for brunch sometime as a group and get fucked up on mimosas while the guys hang out, barbecue and watch sports.

The bonus is the girls typically clean up after the guys jack up the kitchen making sides for the BBQ as a thank you for cooking.

Try McDonald's McCafé. It's the same shit as Starcucks but way cheaper, any small coffee is $2

Were you the guy in my /tv/ thread giving me shit about Junior Mints? What the fuck is your obsession with mint dude

This. Socially acceptable day drinking. My wife and I went to brunch with some friends and the 4 of us killed 3 pitchers of mimosas containing an entire bottle of "champagne" each. And it was cool to be kinda drunk at 11am on a Sunday because we did it at brunch.

Nothing like drinking too many mimosas and then throwing up in a back alley way at 1 in the afternoon.

>be cute boy
>like mint
What does it mean?

>buy
>"cute"
that you're a limp-wristed faggot.

lol do you have ocd/germaphobia? Their hair is likely cleaner than your hands (neither of which are actually touching your food).

Also this whole thread is confusing. Is this an American """"problem""""?

Why can't they cook these days?

Can't think of a single girl I know that actually cooks well (except one that does baking/desserts all the time)

???

The 50's household is kil. In our modern day corporatocracy, all that matters is the quality of her cunny.

start taking estrogen fuckboy

No, it's OP's inexperience with women. He's had maybe one experience, or read a comedic post to this affect, and assumes that it is the unmitigated truth.

Sometimes I get crumbs all over my shirt and I can just brush then off. What happens when a girl gets crumbs all over her shirt? Does it end up in her cleavage? Seems like they would have a lot of crumbs stuck down there that they can't brush off.

50s housewives didn't know how to cook either
Either god awful abominations created out of gelatin and mayonaise or enough butter to give an african a heart attack with one bite
I've actually found that unless you take an interest in cooking, your food is going to be mediocre
Even if you grew up helping your mother/grandmother cook, if their recipes are shit so are yours

>Does it end up in her cleavage?
yes
sometimes, ratchet girls take off their bra and crumbs fall out
typically you can pick em out if you feel them, nipples can be pretty sensitive

Oh, that's so yuck. I always suspected, but now I'm going to feel sick every time I spot exposed cleavage.

mint reminds them of how the giant black cock she sucked tastes because black guys smoke so much menthols and it tastes like mint. They all burn the coal and then want to "settle down" with white betas like you

>tfw no husband to cook meals for

>tfw being a titlet has advantages

mmm, titlets.

I have a problem with crumbs falling down and ending up in my pubes

The best candy

Yeah cooking is shit if it's only you eating. It's a rarely mentioned secret that everybody here is basically aching for complements from the people they feed.
>tfw they never eat it in the way or in the order i'd intended, they shove the entire thing in their face and pay zero attention to the 100 hours i spent meticulously perfecting each micro-flavour

wear longer skirts.
actually fuck that, the hell am i saying. don't.

I've all but given up on feeding myself. I'll just not eat because I already know what it'll taste like in my head. I only get to cook for people a few times a year and it sucks.

she looks sooo cute. she looks so happy to be there, so obedient - keeping her hands by her sides until it's appropriate for her to tuck in, such a qt face, such a youthful look, such a non-try-hard outfit... would snuggle tenderly after imposing all manner of horrifying pervy bedtime stuff on that unsuspecting ickle bod.

Money doesn't bother me. I think it's cute that grils are too poor to pay, or so poor that they'd rather not. It makes me feel empowered, especially when they're french kissing my asshole and sat in a bath drinking my piss later that night. Girls are adorable.

>fiddling with their hair.
also cute. and girls don't have germs, merely delicious girl molecules. all of them are delicious.
unless they don't meticulously wash their squelching sections. that shit can go from hyper-desirable, perfect femmeflower to toxic-waste-spewing gargoyleshit pathogen bazooka in a matter of hours.

I don't ever wash my hair because it looks better shiny. Im sorry if i greased on your food user

How do you avoid associating the taste of mint with toothpaste? It feels so wrong to eat anything with mint in it because of this.

Have you tried not being a pansy faggot?

Mint does not taste like toothpaste. If anything, toothpaste tastes like root beer

i dont like mint

why do they like yogurt so much?

don't eat steak

get those bowl things at chipoltle instead of a real burrito

think salad covered in dressing is healtthy

>bedtime stuff
>terrifying
You and I would get along well.

To be fair, sometimes I just feel like getting a burrito bowl and using chips to scoop up the contents.

You did indeed give me the inspiration for this thread. I'll give you all the credit that's due, although this thought had been on my mind for quite a while.

I'd like to do that sometimes too but feel gay if I do so

Please don't post pics of Justin Castro (Trudeau)

In my city brunch just means day drinking at 11am on a Sunday. The only food anyone actually eats is from a food truck at around 2:30-3pm.

tell her to take off the make up

>why do girls like meeting other girls and have a nice time?
Stay lonely user

A bottle of wine doesnt count as heavy drinking

>at a reasonable hour to meet up with friends
>menu selection includes something for everyone
>one meat that'll last you until dinner

its not that deep

read this as i was pooping
heh

...

calling yourself a girl doesnt make you one, you faggot

When you weigh 2/3 of what a man does, a bottle of wine is quite a bit of alcohol.

I won't let you gender jail me, you beastly closeted tranny fapper.

BRRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPPPP

Tfw too proud to ask him to pay so just don't go on any dates

Tfw man weight

...

I suggest.
>1 part soylent nectar
>1 part Pink lemonade
>1 part Bombay
>garnish with mint and umbrella

*Boom*

The Trap's beach drink of choice "The Hetero Spank."