I made bloody marys with vark sauce for my wife and her guy friends during the super bowl last weekend and they said it...

I think that 'vark being extremely sweet is a good thing, IMO. I love the cartoon aardvark on the bottle too

I made all of the refreshments and snacks for the game, we didn't have any BBQ. (I'm a vegan and my

My iphone cut the rest off ughhhh, I was saying I'm a vegan and my wife is a vegetarian. The guys brought wings and pizza to the party even though I made plenty of tofu bacon and edamame. I felt sick to my stomach waching them eat real meat.

OP's wife's asshole grew three sizes that day.

I drank 12 of them and they weren't too sweet at all. If anything they were perfectly sweet.

>extremely sweet
No thanks

It's a sauce for sweet-tooths (coincidentally that's my wife's pet name for me c: )

all the dick your wife sucked that day was probably perfectly sweet too

Project much?

I suspect when you woke up there wasn't any vark sauce left because they drenched their dongs in it and had your wife get her fill, but you do you.

There wasn't any vark sauce left because I used it all to make the bloody marys. I don't understand the other part of your post....

Why tf are you guys saying my wife cheated on me? They were just friends, she says she only hangs out with guys because she feels more comfortable around them and its less drama.

did you feel sick watching your wife swallow their meat

My wife is a vegetarian you idiot.

>it took this many replies for the bait to be taken

If you're a vegan why are you eating vark? it has eggs and mayo in it

I am suggesting that your wife performed oral sex on these men.

hahaha!!! I too love to spam forced /pol/ memes

This is a fun and comfy bait thread. Mods pls no delete

>'vark is a /pol/ meme
I have never once seen it on /pol/, not once. Why are you so obsessed?

Awful thread, pls delet this

She would never do that, they all go out bar-hopping together at least once a week and they are all very respectful towards her and make sure she gets home safe. They would never take advantage of her like that, they are just friends.

Beer is urinated out of the body though. Why would it be her butthole?

Does secret vark really have eggs and mayo in it???? wtf I'm a vegetarian and I've been eating it for 4 years and it doesn't say that on the ingredients list

because beer is full of sugar

>Does secret vark really have eggs and mayo in it????
Only about 2 tbsp but yes it does.
>it doesn't say that on the ingredients list
Obama made it legal to leave off the ingredients on a label if they are part of the secret recipe.

this aardvark meme is being spammed by one guy who is having an autistic fit because the sauce is made in portland and that portland is largely liberal. Basically he will scream and cry until people only talk about sauces made in conservative cities

>extremely sweet
No thanks

How did you come to this conclusion? I've seen this all over /v/, Veeky Forums, /r9k/, /wg/, r/hotsauce, r/cooking, r/HotSauces and of course Veeky Forums. Seems like a lot of work for it to be 1 dude lol

To be fair, the FDA forced them to make it milder because there were safety concerns about the cartoon aardvark on the label attracting children. Since they had to reduce the heat they compensated by adding more sugar. It's not my favorite hot sauce but it still has a little kick to it.

Don't reply to me ever again

you've seen someone making the same numale jokes over and over like this guy The embarrassing thing is that he thinks he's funny

Not him, but it does seem like something a numale would buy and eat.
What's up with everyone comparing it to spicy mayo? And why does it look like the front of a children's cereal box?

I've never tried it.

Yes you are him, and you are trying too hard

This, I mean it still makes me angry but it's not funny in the slightest and it reflects poorly on Secret Aardvark. The worst thing is I had to stop calling it vark, which I have been doing since 2013.

I'm not OP, but I kinda agree. I mean look at the label dude lol
I was talking about the habanero sauce btw not the spicy mayo.

>Extremely butthurt

I'm a "numale" from Portland and threads like this piss me off. No it's NOT 'sweet', it's more similar to a mustard than mayonnaise and no it does NOT have mayonnaise in it or any eggs. I don't even know who made that up, you can look at the ingredients if you don't believe me.

What's with all of the autistic cuckold threads being made about this sauce? I've literally never heard of it anywhere but Veeky Forums

It's one of the top three chosen by Hot Ones, it was posted several times on the H3H3 productions forum and r/hotsauce and r/HotSauces have been raving about it for years. I haven't seen any of those cuckold threads though.

angry numales.

Being progressive and tolerant doesn't automatically make you a numale JFYI

It's the sweetest and mildest hot sauce on the market, and that's a good thing.

I dont think you know what spit roasted means.

If you don't know what spitroasted means you're probably a virgin.

being "progressive" and certainly "tolerant" makes you a joke though

You have to go back to your containment board. I may be a "numale" but at least I'm not as stupid as you.

Nobody asked if you were a vegan, but you had to tell us anyway. All them jokes are true.

>Old El Paso
Neeewww yaaaurrrk city?

>my wife and her guy friends

Am I supposed to be ashamed of it? Well, I'm not. No matter how much you carnists berate, bully, humiliate, intimidate and belittle me I will never back down from doing what's right.

>tfw you make a bloody mary with blood

Sounds like your Bloody Marys would come out extra virgin.

This is some serious bait or what?

Vark is made in Portland, not NYC

Girls can have guy friends too. My gf hangs out with like 20 different guys and some of them are her coworkers. I don't even think about it because I trust her. I'm not really allowed to have any female friends because she gets jealous but that makes sense considering I can't be trusted alone with them.

shit thread. if you want to troll retards go to /pol/

I don't go to /pol/ but feel free to stay there.

>sweetest
>mildest
>hot sauce
Pick 1

I can't eat 'vark for 2 months because my fiancee caught me looking at her sister. I promise I wasn't checking her out or anything, it was an honest mistake.

just stop dude you are really unfunny

...

It's not funny to me either. I love 'vark and now the only joy in my life is taken from me for something I didn't mean to do.

My condolences, user. From now on just stare at your shoes if your in the presence of another girl around your fiancee. I wish you both the very best, congratulations of your engagement.

It is kinda scummy to look at your gf's sister desu.

If anything it's not sweet enough. My 3 year old step son loves 'vark' almost as much as I do but he says he wishes it tasted more like candy.

This fucking thread..
Why the fuck do I keep coming back to Veeky Forums

...

Secret Vark is pretty good desu.

Why do you?

ever try Tiger's Sauce from Krogers? i tried it & thought it was too sweet, but it had a nice kick 2 it that may make it good 4 me 2 use as a marinade. i havent had vark sauce so i dont have a perspective 2 compare

Tiger Sauce was just too spicy for me, and it wasn't sweet enough for my liking. (I have a bit of a sweet tooth haha)
Definitely not as sweet as vark sauce but it's up there in terms of spiciness and complex flavor profiles. You should try vark if you get a chance, it's not spicy at all and it's incredibly sweet but I swear it can make a shoe edible.

Right I'll fucking bite
>iPhone
Faggot.

Not him but whats wrong with using a iPhone? They don't get viruses like androids do

>t. patrician

>the only place i've seen this shit advertised is Veeky Forums. this isn't even a reddit meme
reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/6rhc9u/asked_my_wife_to_order_me_some_secret_aardvark_on/
reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/5oj9h3/got_my_first_bottle_of_secret_aardvark_and_it/
reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/gfpy2/i_see_your_sriracha_and_raise_you_secret_aardvark/
reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/5ywe7c/my_secret_aardvark_bottle_just_came_in_and_makes/
reddit.com/r/hotsauce/comments/7n2hhn/secret_aardvark_holy_crap/
reddit.com/r/hotsauce/comments/1s7rio/secret_aardvark_im_ploppin_it_everywhere/

>ploppin
disgusting

user BTFO

>Secret 'Vark Spicy Mayo is currently unavailable