Your Veeky Forums waifu/husbando

Crackwhore of a wife

What's her name?

Post choke pic pleaae.

Please respond. It's try-too-hard humor but I like it anyway and need to know who she is. I want to buy all her DVDs.

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>not ONE tizzyswizzyswazzynizzle
KILL ALL YOU'RE ARE SELFS

now we're getting somewhere

david bowie?

youtube.com/watch?v=WZ7RMirDIpw

nah nigga bowie is much hotter

marry me you stupid hot perfect bitch

You stay the hell away from my soulmate

no

>she will never queef on your sandwich

look out taylor there's an ugly goblin trying to take your food!

>taller than most men
>perfect
choose 1

>Not being 6ft3
>Thinking Taylette is tall
You should just give up completely.

I am exactly that tall though
I said most men
Most men are manlets

>ywn eat a taco shes touched with her bare hands

Why even live?

Perfection is subjective. She's several inches shorter than me, and as such perfect. Not my fault that you have to pretend to not be 3ft2.

>3ft2
What senpai
Also, my perfection is 5'1 or below
Women should be women height, not man height like Swift (5'10)

>Pretending not to be 1ft4, can barely breathe due to panic attacks and uncontrollable sobbing, petrified that Taylette will tower over him while pointing, laughing and hungrily riding a 6ft3 chad like myself

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>riding
So you're gay user?

>Such a shrivelling, practically concave manlette that his experience of sex is so woeful that he's never heard of a girl riding a guy, girls from all nations worldwide barely able to stop laughing long enough to catch a breath, women globally suffocate from lack of oxygen, mankind almost goes extinct solely because of your incomprehensible manletteness - one girl remains, she could repopulate the planet with you, but can't stop laughing at the hole in the floor which is the microscopic midget which is you, everything dies, mankind gone forever
thanks a lot.

Everyone else can leave at this point.

Not you.
You can stay.

Virgin Detected

youtube.com/watch?v=x4pGVBwcMRM
Well, I mean, obviously Maisie
>inb4 shithatestorm

>the macklemore haircut is a little too rooty tooty for me, but its physiognomy is intriguing
kek

I want to know what it feels like to completely empty my testicles inside her, and pull out soaked from her juices then make her suck my winkie clean ;_; i bet it's so warm and satisfying

I bet her giney is tiny :3 She's so small and tiny and petite and delicious, I bet it's exquisite

she's 5'10 that's average male height you fucking manlet

>The food's ready user

why does the universe even bother existing if I'll never get to absorb every molecule of her body into mine? Forget it. Existence is a mistake.

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kit harrington is a manlet tho

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ayyyyy how ah yah???

>katie lee isn't within the first 5 posts
y'all gay

fuck nigella was so fucking fine.

Are you one of those autists with face blindness? That image is Marco Pierre White.

It's meme you dip!

Best chef tbqh. Everyone else is too pleb to see it.

>The absolute state of manlets

wotyay

fuck off

I love a man who can play children games and watch chinese cartoons

This bad girl
Needs a spanking and numerous other behavior corrections
Then again this old bad is beyond old

I want /mu/ to leave. Also she's a fucking cunt with about as much ass as she has talent.

Andrew seems like a cool dude. I'd like to hang out with him and drink some beers and eat some good food.

youtube.com/watch?v=XQhT7BWOZps

Only for her recipes.

She's opened up the world of cooking for me. I made some sautéed chicken with tarragon and a white wine deglazing sauce. It was literally the best meal I've ever had.

Chef Bao Bao... my waifu

I wish she'd caress the tip of my dick with that tongue.

Cry more faggot

Surprisingly, she was a fucking fox in her younger days.

pics?

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mommy

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>be on vacation in bongland
>see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk
>like a graceful penguin with gout
>follow her for a block
>working up courage
>gently touch her shoulder
“H-hello, I’m user. Y-you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?”
>she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag
>stares intently for a few moments
>then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence
“YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!”
>quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths
“FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON!
>she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it’s leg caught in a wood chipper
>head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table
>Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu
“ERE NOW, WATS THIS SHITE? IT’S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I’LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?”
>look at the menu. It’s in English, just a fancy script
>she shoves her menu at the waiter
“I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!”
“I’m sorry, madam, we don-“
“I SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!”
>he slinks away without even taking my order
>Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket
>starts rubbing at her crotch
>brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles
“JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT’S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN’T WE?”
>look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check
>turn around
>Arya is slumped over the table

gib milkies

>Empty my testicles
Is this the power of American education?

would wife/10

>pic related

Second favorite: Cat Cora

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It's taboo in most red states to have any kind of sex education classes that provide any more information than, "don't have sex until your married 'cause muh jeebus 'n mary."

Americans are funny to be honest, you still can teach them about sex while preaching abstinence, they are not mutually exclusive things.

as if sex ed has actually worked .

>witty use of onomatopoeia
>perfect sodium content every time
>always extraordinarily clean

What a fucking bastard.

When I took sex ed I think I was in maybe 5th grade. We were at most kissing girls with little pecks on the mouth playing truth or dare at that time, and had no fucking clue what kinds of questions to ask, let alone actually thinking of sex as a realistic possibility at that point.

Maangchi is love