How good are you at writing nonsense? That is, several paragraphs full of nothing. I just found an old middle school essay of mine that exemplifies this bullshit strategy:
>The careful analysis of the historical conditions, social realities and grievances leading up to the American Civil War - conflict that lasted from 1861 to 1865 - and what has been written about it present us both of with an opportunity to reflect upon the dialectics between discontent and massive social upheaval (and the dynamics therein), meanwhile informing us about the causes leading to the actuality of the American experience, what we are doing as a country and what could be done.
Any other examples of how much can be written without saying much at all?
Bentley Long
they coerce you into learning this in highschool english
Jeremiah Bailey
Who is this fluid druid?
Josiah Perez
It's true. I learned to inflate my character and word count.
John Harris
You wrote that in middle school?
Isaiah Cook
By itself, that is not nonsensical.
Ryder Harris
That's a pretty well structured thesis statement though.
Aiden Jones
I am EXTREMELY gifted at writing paragraphs of nonsense. I used to have a fake ask.fm account in which I pretended to be an intellectual girl (I took the pictures from some Tumblr chick) and everytime I answered the with pseudo-marxists bullshit and a lot of morons fell for it.
Luis Walker
>top kek
Jason Hall
That sounds delightful. Fuck, that sounds like it would make a good short story, or even a novella.
Logan Murphy
pretty good
Logan Wright
>we yikes
Ryder Gonzalez
>go to high-school >"always have an introductory paragraph and an interesting hook which tells the reader why the subject is important! finish with a concluding paragraph which restates everything in the intro and links the subject to larger philosophical themes and again tells the reader why it is important!" >go to college >professors make fun of these philosophical filler >tell us to cut straight to the chase and not start off with "Humanity has thought of the medicinal properties of nutmeg throughout the aeons..."
what the fuck
Hudson Allen
highschools don't teach you shit, they're almost a negative desu
highschool "teachers" are basically still-warm corpses reading things off a list
Joshua Reyes
I think a green text is in order.
Levi Hill
Absolutely dreadful. The worst part about it is that we were encouraged to do it in English class for essays as all they cared about was that you met the "length qouta"
Lincoln Turner
What's even worse is that the word count is usually something pathetic like 1,000 words, so you can barely write something that's of substance.
John Moore
Really? I often had the opposite problem they would make the word count or number of paragraphs required too high and I'd have to find a way, to qoute my religion teacher "Open the slurry tank and spread it around"
Justin James
>we can learn about the causes of the civil war from what happened before the civil war
yeah no so fucking bloated
Leo Cox
Let's see: The tenacity of the contemporary willow amounts to two polarities: the Hume-an and the human. The Hume-an willow considers that all colours are red but that red is not a colour, or that a colour is a mere relational construct and that instead we ought to think of colours as perhaps 'tone-symbols' or a memetic array of pixels, as is the way most observe colour today. The human shares the exact same opinion but fancies that colours are actually the historic accumulation of souls of the 56 billion animals slaughtered each year for the purpose of food production. The lighter colours are cows which quickly realized their fate and spent their brief time alive not resisting the affects of hormones, but instead, reaching Nirvana. In other words, lighter colours are not necessarily colours -- that is, souls of the great perpetual massacre of domesticated animals -- but rather, the absence of qualifiable soulitude. Dark colours, especially those approaching the Black, are the souls of those beasts who realized the futility of Life. After all, those hormones caused them to enter puberty early.
I propose that instead of following the willowian Hume-an/human divide, that we realize that perhaps souls are themselves symbols and that being is mathematical. Angels are mathematical. Appropriately, we must deal with being through a utilitarian calculus. Symbols are and are not! Pierce the symbol with our tangential spear! Does the willow truly weep, or is it Christ who weeps for us all? My friends, I postulate that this is not an issue of semantics, but of ecology: once we recognized the great Cow in the Sky, the first cow to reach Nirvana, whose milk shaped the Milky Way! Once we recognized the great Joel, whose batter formed the Chunky Way! Below us were our betters, the Giants, giving us authority over the land. Above us were the betters of the Beasts, who gave them authority over the sky. Upon the sky meeting the earth, they became inseparable -- welded at the hip! This primordial symbol is recreated with other beasts throughout England and the Middle East, who share a common ancestor. My friends! When the Sky above met the Earth below, a truce had to be settled! For, nothing could live if they stayed joined at the hip, yet if they did not hold on to each other, the Sky would fall and the Earth would rise. Here, the Accord of Thollkaza'aath was written and signed. It states that while on Earth, its wardens may consume those beasts who wandered down from the skies. But, the when Earth's wardens rise, as they do in material death, they will be eaten by the Wardens of the Sky. Yes! Celestial Cows consume your soul! The perpetual rising and falling, and the inescapable horror of life and death which results from the life of both beings of Earth and Sky being recycled ad infinitum, both keeps together the Earth and the Sky, and is something to be overcome! Mother Earth is a whore! Damn this lustful sky!
Carson Price
Fucking hell, is she about to Houellebecq? Lay off the cigs >listen up fella, there's two types of ppl in dis world dropped
Cooper Lee
still cute
Jose Williams
I wish to convey something, but a question arises as to whether or not my ideas are equal to that which my words themselves sufficiently exist with the capacity to convey. Therefore, it appears unequivocally insufficient to label my terms as 'isms', as opposed to some more deregulatory manner of expression. In light of these complications, it remains my understanding that the individual members within a society involuntarily establish an underlying precedent for remaining simultaneously within and outside of these boundaries. Therein lies the problem of my expression: it remains outside of my capacity to exist on both of these states in a simultaneous manner.