Go to new city and look on Yelp for a restaurant grab a quick lunch

I noticed that shit too. Can't find a hole in the wall gem and when you do its usually down voted by a bunch of stuck up bitches

I read a review of an Outback and somebody bitched about being compensated with a free Bloomin' Onion because "I hate onions!"

>since when are critics valid?
Uh, what lol? There are plenty of examples where a critic is valid. If the person had commented on the food rather than the service, then that would be valid critique of the restaurant.

>Everything was amazing but I found the curry labelled "spicy" to be too hot 2/5

The only places that get high reviews always seem to be hipster dumps, fuck those plebs.

>got the wings XXX DEATH SPICY
>couldn't finish it
>1/5 wouldn't go back

I went to a dive bar and ordered the chili cheese fries, as per someone's recommendation. The first bite I took was fucking gristle. Immediate one star from me.

>go to place during busy time
>Food took 10-15 minutes to get to me, and I only get 30 minutes for lunch!
>1/5 I want my money back!

Further proof nork needs to nuke CA like yesterday

So when people want to feel like they are actually doing anyone a favor for being a terrible critic they have a hugbox waiting for them

I would rate it for being a useful review :^)

no

look for patterns and repeated complaints. if one person says "steak was overcooked" and 50 others say "steak was cooked perfectly", i'd give the place a shot. i ignore criticisms like "ice wasn't cold enough" or "waiter was rude" or "it took an hour for us to get seated"

>best friend has a childhood dream to open a burger joint
>finally does it, quits his job much to his wife's chagrin
>is legit good, clean, etc.also doing well
>this is a great guy too, always there for me when I need him
>I spring into action
>use proxies to create fake yelp accounts, hire poos from fiverr to do same
>over a period of 2-3 months spam bad reviews of his restaurant: spoiled meat, food poisoning, rodents/insects, bad service, etc.
>call health dept. with bogus complaints
>eventually restaurant shuts down due to this
>friend is despondent, has no idea who would do that to him
>still has no clue

I felt a bit bad but fuck it it was funny as fuck lmao

HOLY FUCK

also
>chagrin

Absolutely based. Sounds like your fag friend can’t handle banter.

Your friend got BTFO. Also, why are you such a fucking faggot? Did you really think I would read your shitpost and believe it? Did you think I would read your shitpost and pretend to be retarded, just so you could chuckle even though you know I know you're lying? Why would you lie? Answer me RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

>go to "dive bar"
>order food

Women have ruined the rating system with their bullshit, just look at the pictures at least those are somewhat reliable

Wat

>use yelp to find a good chinese place
>always either has 1 star or 5 stars
>1 stars are usually obvious people trying to get free food, minorities who ordered 2 things and couldn't feed the whole family, some twink who ordered the cheapest thing on the menu and it wasn't good, or some random female who got something spicy that was spicy
>5 star reviews are either relatives rating the place high with things like "was good :)", someone who ordered the most most plane thing, some review from YEARS ago to where what they got isn't even on the menu

Social media validation is the only real motivation people have to leave reviews and take pictures of the food. If they didn't have things like voting "cool" or "funny", friends, 1st to check in, or the elite system, nobody would participate. It's a reward system just like likes and friends on facebook, retweets followers and favorites on twitter, and likes and followers on insta

>implying she didn't have a girls night out
>sat on the menu for 15 minutes while getting well drinks
>finally ordered after 25 minutes
>wanted the wings right then
>bitched about slow service when they were busy with everyone sneaking in happy hour specials last minute

Sounds like only half the story. Why were they being comped in the first place.

>things that never happened

much like any good review about ur cooking

>lookup my favorite breakfast place in the morning

I-I what?

Their competitor paid pajeet to write that.

Yelp can be okay sometimes but I don't trust most of the reviews.

haha

what is this doing in the reviews

If you're a whiny bitch with no tastebuds, sure.

They're not a New Yorker.

>Yelp™
>Please download our app.
>Please.

>Love the fries at Burgerim
>Look up their yelp out of curiosity
>Some of the only negative reviews are about the fries
These people have shit taste

>build your own meal place like burger bar, mongolian bbq, salad bar, etc
>ingredients were all good but the overall meal was bad, not worth it imo
>1/5 stars

You want real information goggle "city data" and look under health inspections in your respective city and restaurant of choice. Idk about small towns, but every restaurant in NYC is rat/roach infested.bI'm sorry in advance. Can't link because HoChiMoot.

>since when are critics valid?
Failed attempt at being profound