What is the edgiest thing ever written? I might post some of my edgy writings if there is interest

For sale. Baby. Never fucked.

What are you but coiled maggots, consuming carcasses with contorted countenances? Your precious God has given you 80 miserable years to rot on this shitball which orbits a flickering light destined to extinguish. Just about enough time to see the light, that light being the indisputable nature of the darkness which fills the universe and your hearts. There is no ocean deeper than, no philosophy truer than, and no court of law as just as my hatred for you. You may snigger at me. You may call me an edgelord. You may even realise the seriousness of my words and feel a primal, sobering fear. But you will NEVER understand what got me to this point or where exactly this point even is. It lies on no axis you operate according to the rules of. I am the spirit of the void.

Dead eyes and a mind alive with suffering, for that is all dead eyes are symptomatic of, I walk your streets and watch the vermin. The human sludge that feeds off its own shit and piss. Grand ideals and high-minded philosophy rattling around vacuous heads, heads desperate to find meaning where there is none to be found. You toil in vain. You love not what you create but what you destroy. In this life you will be ground to dust, crushed by the weight of your own sins. Satan’s throne is cold with malice. His trident is red with the blood of righteousness. There will be no mercy for you.

this is very bad

Damn. Reading some quotes from this. Guy was an edgy genius. He makes me feel so dumb. He is expressing what I feel better than I can.

Run of the mill /b/ copypasta is edgier than that

>anime villain fanfiction tier edge

"Dirty" Dan " The man with the plan to get her in the van. Thick as a beer can. Widest girth in the land. I hate sand. You'll love getting slammed. Keep quite or be canned. I'll never be banned. Its for the kids, don't you understand? I can tell you're fan. I am a legend on Veeky Forums. Some like 'em only white, but I accept tan." "Rough rider. Large hardon collider. Hold her tighter, she's a fighter. I enjoy the biters. I like them lighter. Hymen diver. Its going to be an all-nighter. If you have a daughter, hide her." " Don't call me that." Schneider

>babby's first edge from someone who just watched taxi driver
Sad.
Second paragraph is less bad though

lol

Burst out laughing within the first 10 words. You should be a comedian, user.

OP here.

I want to get into Satanism. I'm not some edgy teenager. I am merely observing reality and drawing conclusions; conclusions without the need to cower behind lofty pretensions of intellectual enlightenment. How do I join a church of Satan?

Don't call me that

bump

Ask your dad so he can disown you for being a homo and a pseud.

>implying i have a dad
>implying homo is bad
>implying anyone who isn't a satanist is akin to a giggling schoolgirl or psued

*isn't akin

OP here

I laugh at your replies. Everything you think makes you better than me is actually what makes you inferior to me.

I am Satan. Ama.

The Church of Scientology will set you right.

edgy

the words on this magic the gathering trading card

this is an unjustifiably funny thread

>edgiest thing ever written

Vagina Monologs

no it isn't

Go back to /r9k/, you massive loser

What are your thoughts on the season finale of rick and morty?

Read this

>I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.

k-k-kvothe?

*blows in behind you*
*unsheathes lute*
psshhh... nothing personnel... kid...

top kek

Is this satanism for ants?

Just google the phrase at the top, dummy
That's the 95 theses
Best way for a quick guide into satanism

I hope this ends up as a pasta

How about AM from I have no Mouth and I must Scream?

>I want to get into Satanism.
>I'm not some edgy teenager.

What are you but coiled pasta, consuming ravioli with zigzag edges? Your precious Salsa has given you 4 spicy condiments to flavour this meatball which orbits a glistening fork destined to satiate. Just about enough time to see the mouth, that mouth being the indisputable entry to the stomach which is filled with the pasta and your secret recipy. There is no ocean deeper than, no philosophy truer than, and no court of law as just as my hunger for you. You may give me a napkin. You may call me a hungry boy. You may even realise the seriousness of my words and feel a primal, sobering giggle. But you will NEVER understand what got me to this restaurant or where exactly this restaurant even is. It lies on no street you normally drive on. I am the spirit of the munchies.

Pumpkin pies and a turkey filled with stuffing, for that is all pumpkin pies are symptomatic of, I walk your streets and watch the dinner tables. The beef stew that floats on its own juice and gravy. Carrot cakes and high-fructuose gravy sloshing around vacuous throats, tongues desperate to find filling where there is none to be found. You ask for seconds in vain. You love not what you cook but what you devour. In this life you will be diabetic, crushed by the weight of your own calves. The cook's kitchen is warm with ovens. His wooden spoon is red with the sauce of deliciousness. There will be no desert for you.

>desert
it was almost perfect, user. almost perfect.

I liked it.

fanfiction.net/s/2554200/2/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I once wrote Rick and Morty anal vore fan fiction ironically

The 120 Days of Sodom is the quintessential edgelord work.

kek

was shit

liked the first paragraph. really hits that rick n morty feel.