Write the most pretentious thing you can

Write the most pretentious thing you can.

riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

Epic!

I'm too smart to be pretentious

Lmao I'm knew on Veeky Forums and I haven't read many books but I literally fuckingg tried to read this the other day! I heard finnegans wake is pretty good shit but then I saw the first sentence started out of nowhere and I was like fuck no I'm not reading this.

OK, I'll just be honest then. I went to a top 10 university and have a BS in a rather difficult engineering major (IE not civil or environmental or some bullshit like that). Took the GRE, got 170V 164Q, which translates to an IQ of ~141. But I still post shit likes this here because of massive insecurity.

Do you have a gf? Can I be your gf?

I can't write, yet I can think.

nope, I have an aspie grill I borderline stalk though

I'm a big fan of reading on the bus.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Veeky Forums. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of the noumenon most of the jokes will go over a typical lurker's head. There’s also Bug's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Beatrix Potter's literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Veeky Forums truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Dostoevsky's existential catchphrase “Truly great men must, I think, experience great sorrow on the earth,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Nick Land's epic Gotta Go Fast. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Veeky Forums's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Hegel tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 points of the absolute idea (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid

>his personal philosophy draws heavily from Beatrix Potter's literature
Tired pasta but kek for that one

that photo though. damn, bugs.

The first thing you need to understand is that The Argument is everything.
The Argument is civilization; The Argument is peace; The Argument is love;
The Argument is truth and beauty; The Argument is, in fact, life itself.

pretentious
[pri-ten-shuh s]

Synonyms
Examples
Word Origin

See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com
adjective
1.
characterized by assumption of dignity or importance, especially when exaggerated or undeserved:
a pretentious, self-important waiter.
2.
making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.
3.
full of pretense or pretension; having no factual basis; false.

It seemed like forever ago, like we've had this brief but still infinite forever. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you.

My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations.

Margo always loved mysteries. And in everything that came afterward, I could never stop thinking that maybe she loved mysteries so much that she became one.

What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?

What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.

It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.

Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.

Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.

There's no real difference between a prison inmate and a disabled person

I got bitches, hoes, money, clothes.

I am a heterosexual white male of average height and build.

is it carli?

Lysidike took her ability to read his mind as a matter of course, but his converse power was still unsettling. Time was only Anaximander ever gleaned what she thought with any proficiency; but he deduced her nature from what his oily smarts told him was the nature of a person, and only sardonically hinted at his mastery. Tlexictli didn’t even have to puzzle to catch her straight away, so the privacy she took for a metaphysical given in her youth broke up, and she felt her disagreements with her husband as dumb sensory pressures, like heat or cold. Their cross-purposes weren’t any easier for their transparency, but there was nothing to worry over – they’d conducted business together before becoming sentimental.

...

I remember when this first got posted, god damn what a goldmine.

My entire book I’m writing is the most pretentious shit ever
These are all out of context but they are being used. Some of them are inspired by random posts I see. The one marked out is random and doesn’t belong there, it was a thought about how edgey my big tiddy goth gf is that I marked down for memory purposes.
I have a knew one “why should I apologize for what I’ve become if the people that made me this way never even thought to blame themselves”

In the end, it was the world itself which proved to be the biggest, nay the infinite, jest

book source?

delet this

How'd you get a copy of my diary desu?

Only one remained; two if you counted god...

Yes I don't capitalise god. Feel free to debate me, however be warned, I don't pull any punches.

daring synthesis

>phil major
>somehow actually got that quantitative score without studying
>qualitative was only 155 because the exam was full of stupid words I didn't recognize
can I just pay someone to switch them?

The Culture of Critique is an amazing book.

>starts with "i will only say this once so pay attention"

>bragging about a 140 IQ

lol

Stefan is such a tool

a sovereign being, fucked. drenched in a world of sodomy, lust.
got a chainsaw clothed in tree dust cause the timber Donjon is a quarantine must.
honestly, brah. my life's the last chapter of recherché rarissima.
a rarity, full of condescending folly, greed, luck - straight from Polynesia.
sip on a singapore sling while my tongue cradles excellence
an age-old testament. Strelitzia in the Saraha - a state of ecesis.
precision of the Japanese bushi - galvanic, grueling.
a nacarat calvary swoop in with a narquious paradigm - stupid.
ghostly gimp. before this cold & lonely vent,
i hope she inhales the holy scent of an Old Etonian
roaming Groak during thanksgiving, ambient amphibian,
a case of mild kakidrosis within a coat made of tanned linen; thin.
awaken to malnoia, go to sleep with calves of iron
depart the senses to imaginary enation - The Otian; a path, defying.

Which book is she resting her asshole directly on?

that's the point of the thread user
in fact anyone in general who mentions IQ I assume to be a pretentious idiot

The most pretentious IQ related thing I have witnessed is the insult "midwit"

that's actually rather clever desu

>"midwit"
quarterwit
thirdwit
halfwit
doublewit
triplewit
megawit
gigawit

>*copy and pastes random lines from the writing critique general*

Where'd you get that gif, OP?

I have stage 4 cancer

Infinite Jest

We are all created for a purpose. We all function as cogs in the whirring machine of existance.

Those are fucking terrible. What are you, 17? No one will ever read your awful book that you're "writing."

Are Lolita and Alice in Wonderland the two most common books for women with daddy issues?

Wait so is it you’re borderline and you stalk or is it you are riding a fine line between stalking and not stalking

Yuge difference, I have a cousin, Tony, grew up together, he has a beautiful family, see Tony made a mistake when he was in his twenties (God bless him), Tony has the mental illness, borderline

I told my wife borderline is going to ruin his life. Sure enough 28 years old Tony was stalking a 16 year old Romanian prostitute- named Sorin Floare, what a beautiful name- by leaving a cum stained sock on her front porch with a note that had his phone number and first and last name. And a heart too, God bless Tony

Tony spent 3 months in jail, got out for good behavior, when he got out I went to see him and I said “Tony, you cant do that no more.” Looks at me and says “Donald I wouldnt ever dare, I screwed up, I know it, God knows it.” I gave him a copy of Anthony Robbins Notes From a Friend

2 weeks later he raped his daughter. Borderline ruined his life. I says to his wife “Tony is gone. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” Sandra his wife says “Don you’re right.”

Sandra when have I been wrong?

*standing ovation*

>My entire book I’m writing is the most pretentious shit ever
>These are all out of context but they are being used. Some of them are inspired by random posts I see.

reminder to the few of you with talent that if you post your stuff here people will steal it

This guy gets it

...heh

>IE
>Difficult Engineering major

pick one, bro

Nothing is more pretentious than dumb fucking faggots who paste Amazon / GR book reviews

I got pics of Tao Lin sucking my dick in Ed Blooms office.

No, I mean which book exactly? I need to find that exact book.

I enjoy literature and philosophy

dont know what the FUCK this means but i like it.

got the archive link?

It's going to sell millions. hmu for a book cover design and a modest share of the profits.

You're trying to hard

I truly have the truth.

Dante was the last author worth reading

haha buttholebook sniffer

ah, blood meridian, monsieur? that novel is the sark and chaparral of literature, the filament whereon rode the remuda of highbrow, corraled out of some destitute hacienda upon the arroya, quirting and splurting with main and with pyrolatrous coagulate of lobated grandiloquence. our eyes rode over the pages, monsieur, of that slatribed azotea like argonauts of suttee, juzgados of swole, bights and systoles of walleyed and tyrolean and carbolic and tectite and scurvid and querent and creosote and scapular malpais and shellalagh. we scalped, monsieur, the gantlet of its esker and led our naked bodies into the rebozos of its mennonite and siliceous fauna, wallowing in the jasper and the carnelian like archimandrites, teamsters, combers of cassinette scoria, centroids of holothurian chancre, with pizzles of enfiladed indigo panic grass in the saltbush of our vigas, true commodores of the written page, rebuses, monsieur, we were the mygale spiders too and the devonian and debouched pulque that settled on the frizzen studebakers, listening the wolves howling in the desert while we saw the judge rise out of a thicket of corbelled arches, whinstone, cairn, cholla, lemurs, femurs, leantos, moonblanched nacre, uncottered fistulas of groaning osnaburg and kelp, isomers of fluepipe and halms awap of griddle, guisado, pelancillo.

I like to think of myself as spiritual, but not religious. Last year I took DMT and realized we are the universe experiencing itself, we are all One, you know? The hindus were right. We can learn a lot from non-western cultures, good and evil are illusions, for example. They're based on egotistical cultural biases. Bad stuff wouldn't happen if people just followed their bliss, that's what I always say. Nothing wrong with two adults loving each other. In 2017 we should build bridges not walls. I really like to travel, I have a masters in anthropology and I just came back from West Africa; now I really understand what it means to have white privilege. Anyway, I'm off to starbucks to work on my scifi novel, after my shift is over. If you aren't doing anything tonight you should come over and watch Game of Thrones, I'm a total nerd!

kek, ive seen worse though

I browse reddit