Recently an Oxford user,
Contributed to this board's green canon,
With a tale most wondrous of love and ardour,
Of life he could request not one thing more!
But readers of a curious bent,
Shades of doubt to his story lent,
And I too living here in Oxford city,
Albeit living such that he would pity,
Decided to investigate this most enchanting tale,
And test the waters of his Holy Grail,
And thus I set out armed with my camera,
To discover the truth of this romantic clamber,
And what I found dear reader thus,
Was enough to cast a great distrust,
On Oxford Anons's glamorous claims,
Of his romantic ties and indeed his brains!
In this thread should the mods allow it,
I'll reveal the sober truth behind the wit,
After all would it not be a pity,
If Oxford user was just another Walter Mitty?
Recently an Oxford user
I've been thinking of studying abroad either for a semester or after my bachelor degree. Looked at Oxford since I have friends close-by and looks decent. Is it worth it if I ever did get accepted? Or is it hyped up?
Though I may not know your identity,
Not yet at least,
I'll not be tricked by some foul banditti,
Who quacks his lies like a pack of wild geese!
The truth is thus: not a single shred exists,
Of evidence to reinforce your claims,
That my English Rose is somehow wilting,
And has even considered planting a kiss,
One any lips but mine for whom her veins,
Run with blood from a heart that's not jilting!
Oops another mistake of grammar,
I do apologies for my lowly manners!
Ah but OP is this not the sight,
Of the college where you spent last night,
Alone to your concern and surprise,
Your chaste lover's health suffering sudden demise?
Because recall your intention from the previous thread,
To spend Halloween with your lover in bed,
Watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaban,
While guiding your hand an able helmsman,
Up those legs for whom no other fingers,
Have (so she told you) never lingered?
My own thesis is presented thusly:
(And I would suggest you pause before you distrust me)
Last night on Halloween your feminine idol,
Was anything but sick and idle,
In fact while you lay supine in bed,
Down another path was her own body led,
Out into the cold night clad,
In clothes barely more than what old Eve had,
Chaperoned by a young man familiar,
To you too indeed he is no stranger,
But I'll halt my thesis there for the moment,
And wait to see whether you deny or lament!
The question is whether you can get in
Toad begone I'll suffer this no further,
What right have you,
To flock such lies like some mistruth herder?
I assert most strongly that naught is true!
It did not shock me that my love fell ill,
On Hallows' Eve her health still asunder,
Her head lay on a pillow as she called,
To apologize and swallow a pill,
Which restored health did overnight render,
This morning there was no sign of her cold!
>ardour
>more
embarrassing desu
you can stop this autism now, nobody cares.
The poetry of you both(?) is ghastly.
Oh quit your lies you sorry boy,
Telling the truth I'll not be coy,
For as you lay in helpless sorrow,
Checking your phone to find your inbox hollow,
I was out in Oxford's streets,
Marking in every face I happened to meet,
No signs of weakness nor indeed of woe,
But instead those emitting a happy glow,
And among those faces most refined,
A face most pretty did I find,
You've seen it often these past few weeks,
During your rise from poor lad to erudite geek,
'Tis a face in fact that you have kissed,
And the source of such romantic bliss,
Oh poor OP my naive friend,
Did you not anticipate this most predictable end,
Where you abandoned and alone did rot,
While she sought love more fitting to her lot?
>seriously asking whether Oxford University is good
[i gave only a glance to ox user, but these poems are extremely amusing]
HAHA- OH HEY HOW'S IT GOING PAL? HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AWHILE (SNIGGER) SPENDING TO MUCH TIME WITH THOSE BOOKS YEAH? OH POETRY? SOUNDS LIKE A SPLENDID USE OF TIME HEH, WELL TELL HERMOINE I SAID HI ;), SEE YA AROUND CHAMP
Dear Frog if any grain of truth exists,
Although I doubt,
In the many accusations you list,
Tell me who was with her during your scout,
Then I myself will question this fellow,
And lay to rest these rumours you are spreading,
Of my privately educated* love,
Deceiving me her working class hero,
And let that put an end to your meddling,
And restore the honour of my pure dove.
I love that OP is bound to see he is still a pleb with, at the end, a shittier job than all the upper class normies or better for him, no job at all.
*~£36,000 fees per year (excluding additional costs, e.g. school trips, tutoring, instrument lessons)
...
Provide a name I refuse,
For I'd prefer to amuse,
And titillate you like a dream most frustrating,
Which forces you out to stop you penetrating,
But give you I will some solvable clues,
Bread crumbs which if followed will conclude this ruse,
For the young man in question is within touching distance,
Though leagues about you in rank and importance,
Different to you not only in class,
But ethnicity too though not obviously alas,
Perhaps your friends here on Veeky Forums here may help you,
To solve this most tricky and playful sudoku!
There is nothing more disgusting and vile than a pretentious psuedo-intellectual academia-brainwashed sperg.
Tell me bilious ribbitting croaker,
For I will not,
Suffer the games of some nasty joker,
Untie immediately your obscure knot!
The young man is not here within my quad,
Where only whites dwell together in peace,
No arabs live here no gooks and no spics,
In the blood of this college flows no mud,
So make it clear to put my mind at ease,
Enough of your peevish sadistic tricks!
> every line rhymes
do it op
Oxbro's nemesis is a pretty good versifier.
From my virtual liliypad,
I will direct you towards your enemy Chad,
But make it obvious I will not do,
Only provide one further clue,
Because as you proudly boast your mind is such,
That my opinion matters not much,
For at Oxford I am not a student,
Among the proles do I pitch my tent,
Though if your mind be unfortunately unable,
To identify he who in night most sable,
Chaperoned your English Rose,
And smelled her perfume with his prominent nose,
Then I suppose on me you must rely,
This pitiful peasant in his working class sty,
The gentleman she was with was of no darker hue,
Although White he was not but in fact a Jew!
Oxbro's nemesis, I hope you didn't Ronald Oxbro's Hermione!
I am greatly enjoying this.
You are the Quevedo and Góngora of our time.
A Semite you say has had his foul way,
Covered in slime,
If true in a Blitzkrieg of hate he'll pay,
Should my queen have been touched by
some Weinstein,
I think I know to which kike you're referring,
And question this heeb do I well promise,
Once he returns to his room down the hall,
Though if these be lies you are conferring,
My love seen with some desert Adonis,
They will I promise precede your downfall!
>replying to your own thread for bumps
fake and gay
...he says, bumping the thread.
...
killeth thyself
A great reckoning in a little thread.
Question last night I did the Jewish boy,
Who lives down-hall,
Thought he treated me like an oafish goy,
And governed our talk like a British Saul,
He told me frankly that on Halloween,
He was out and about dressed as Draco,
The white-haired boy in the House of the snake,
Tell me not could he if my girl he'd seen,
His memories a drunken staccato,
So toad I tell you I think thee a fake!
Why can't we have more threads like these, instead of that whiny faggot spamming Schopenhauer and Weininger?
>You are the Quevedo and Góngora of our time.
>tfw I have no mfw for this shit
Because Veeky Forums might be stupid but it's generally not this profoundly autistic.