What if homer was a woman?

...

Academia was a mistake.

What if Zeus was one of us?

"Dawn with her rose red fingers" would make a lot more sense

so it would be in total 5% gay

What if Shakespeare was nigger?

Then Marge was a man

>mfw Rosie fingered Dawn

What if Odysseus just made up all the shit he told the Phaeacians to get free stuff and just chilled with Calypso for 10 years.

Alcinous pretty much calls out Odysseus as a liar, but isn't mad because he's such an entertaining liar

I had a cheeky Classics professor as an undergrad who suggested that The Odyssey was composed by a woman.

His rationale was that only a woman would name Odysseus' dog something as stupid as "Argos."

. . . . .

My childhood dog was named Argos. :(

It's fine for a modern to name a dog Argos in reference to The Odyssey. I think my professor's point was that at the point that The Odyssey was written down Argos was one of the largest & most important city-states in Greece. So it'd be the equivalent of a modern American naming their dog "New York City" or "Los Angeles."

then sappho would have to be a man to keep the shaktic order.

Your professor was a retard. Argos didn't mean just the city back then.
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ἀργός#Ancient_Greek

Pushkin was a mulatto

>reminder cornith is the name of a city and the root of the verb "to have sex"
>most greek humour relies on word play
your professor sounds like a tit, and i'd really double check anything he "taught" you because it sounds like he's relying on nobody checking his qualifications.

Corinth is a pre-greek word.

Your professor sounds relatively uninformed about archaeology. Argos' city seal is a dog. Ancient coins from the area also are imprinted with a dog. The two (Argos and dogs) have been related since at least Homer's time.

Naming a dog Argos makes sense in this context.

which was adopted into greek to mean to fuck. because it was famous for being a party town which is where you get jokes like:
>why are you not weaving, like a good wife, corinthian woman
>in the time I have been listening to you I've (bankrupted three ships)/(brought three stiffies to orgasm)/(taken three completed pieces of cloth off the loom rack)
between Attic and Corinthian women where the Greek word for all three of the last cases is the same, and why it's a joke that works even if the speakers keep their own dialect. It's almost like They, which is originally a Norse word, will still have its own idiosyncratic meaning and connotations when used in a contemporary English post on /pol/ despite its origins as meaning much less.

oh, you! teeheehee!

i always thought Joss Whedon should have had Mr Giles use that line in Buffy, when they caught Dawn Summers shop-lifting. red-handed.

"Sort of.. rhododaktylos Eos."

"what?"

"never mind."

This most definitely sounds like some SJW bullshit revisionism, like Moorzart

Ah yes...The Egyptians were black, The Greeks were black, Homer was actually a woman, Europeans aren't actually white, Shakespeare was a woman. They have been trying to invert greatness forever, user. Homer was a man.

>women going into autistic details about many different groups of soldiers on many different ships
sure thing

>women going into autistic details about many different groups of soldiers on many different ships
They can you fucking idiot. See History of the Peloponnesian War if you want a good example of that. I'll give you a hint T was a woman too.

...

>They can you fucking idiot.
Point out 5 examples of women that have done this exact thing you faggot.

wtf i love homer now

>what if homer was a woman?

That can't be true.

youtu.be/MS4jk5kavy4?t=6m42s

As John Green taught us in The Odyssey's Crash Course Literature, the story isn't very progressive. If a woman wrote it, it would be. Its full of slut-shaming and the slut/stud double standard. Some of the monsters are women too. That is not good.

people say penelope is such a strong character but umm hello she's a slave to her husband because of """"love""""
penelope should have had a fully on orgy with the suitors for twenty years then cut Odysseus' balls off

I was considering leaving this a s a comment
>Odyssey is sexist apparently even though it shows an empowered Penelope that goes against tradition and doesn't hit it up with one of the suitors, a witch that owns the battle hardened veterans and 2 appearances from literal goddesses , one even pretty much solving the conflict in the hero's stead. I mean yea man empowering women is totally sexist.

kek, you don't even have a rebuttal. When confronted with evidence you spout nothing but sexist drivel.

Point out 5 examples of women doing what you said. Show us proof. I didn't sa anything sexist, what's the matter, run out of arguements sweetie?

You want five examples of women writing about ships?

I want 5 examples of women going autistic details about many different groups of soldiers on many different ships

>Thucydides
>an Athenian who fought in the Peloponnesian War
>Woman
I know this is bait, but you're still retarded in your selection.

That other idiot fell for it.

>I-I was just pretending to think that the other party was serious, but I wasn't, in order to make a great strategy to humiliate him on the chans! hon hon

How boring life must be if you always need the stories hero to be a good example for society instead of a human.

Without myths and stories to guide us, humans would be shit. Our natural state is not very nice.

A 9 minute video about the Odyssey and they still find a way to waste time on framing it in 21st century social progressivism terms

To be fair Odisseus IS the embodiment the ideal of kalogatia

Kalokagathia*

So stupid. He could have at least talked about Artemisia, but then in combat she behaved atrociously (ramming and sinking an allied ship to get away from pursuing enemies).

Also Odysseus isn't a 'player' at all anyway...Kalypso and Kirce essentially kidnap and rape him.

honestly, who gives a shit. Maybe it was a group of people ?

That one

what if homer was a homo? lol

u n d e r r a t e d

ugh you disgust me. Could you be anymore of a man of your age. you have no reason to assume that if not for your brain washing.

[ghostbusters theme plays]

>If a woman wrote it, it would be
Do people actually think a female writer in Ancient Greece would be a "feminist"?

it's almost like thinking that they had lesbians back then!

>being a lesbian makes you a feminist, especially 3000 years ago
Really makes me think

um if you're a woman you are a feminist unless you have internalized misogyny, then you are a latent feminist.

wew

flashback to 2014, holy shit

...

not really, Anderson was a total sperger and used write a lot of homo letters to his friends which they ignored. he's basically a more sociable emily dickinson. he went to see his hero Dickens once and bored the pants off him and his family so much that they said his few weeks stay was filled with hints to leave and felt like years. Anderson used write letters to male friends with shit like "i yearn for you like a young girl" so, no, he's just a sperger. if he were alive now he'd be writing princess points greentexts on /r9k/.

Just a hoplite, one of us

Another pilgrim at the shrine
Or metic in a marble mine..

I laughed at the part where he was retelling his adventures to Penelope and left out the part where he fugged Circe

Why not?