ITT: write "Brother, may I have some oats?" in your favorite author's style

Brother ' for I kept denying his nature. His strong body, ivy leaguer, athletic, pushing that cart along the isle. Come to think of it,he was less brother more icon, but none of these matter anymore. Just like nothing mattered during the times during which he got high in the supply room near the offices throughout which Mother dragged us during our teenage years. He had been like that for 5 years, and prior to his heart attack his undefeated nature propelled him upon every podium. Next to the other contenders he was a god, them, heroes, and I was a mere human.' May i have some oats? His voice was hoarse. 85% of the heads that perceived the sounds he made turned their heads in disgust. His brother turning his head smiling' Fetch! 'tossed a bag of oats that slightly missed the coordinates at which it could have made him whiplash.

It's by the honorable Dr. Reginald F. Queensbottom, see

You have to go back.

I refuse to be defined by a single board user. I'm a racist, scientifically inclined man of culture, hence I am /pol, /lit, and /sci at once.

>2017
>not sharing oats
back to plebbit

The old man spat

Brother can I have some oats

Ye

>I am /pol, /lit, and /sci at once.
Autism IS a spectrum, I suppose.

hehehe.... bruh...... bruhbruh........ y'all got some oats..... ?

And then I looked at brother and his mean-looking and the crescent sun-eyes, like all the universe depended on his every fibre of being, him just knowing and me knowing, and I asked him into the yes-no,
"Brother? If the ere were a man so kind as to fix me wid some oats, I'll be damned if it aint yerself."
and then he said, "(insert obscure bible reference which is also the title of the novel)"

:O

HP Lovecraft?

No, niggeranon

"Brother, I have spent so much time on this task and now I came back for a cozy quiet life, like a mature Nathan Drake, even my own brother turns his back on me.
Oh! If only I could have 1000 eyes like the fly in "The Fly" (a 1986 film, directed by David Cronenberg, which was mentioned two times in My Diary Desu and which I must have watched like fifteen times) to cry my hunger for those delicious oats. But I won't cry. Time to die *releases a white dove* (That was a Blade Runner reference in case you didn't know, ok?)

this was literally a viral marketing campaign for Blomkampfs shitty tv series. everyone in this thread should stab themselves to death for being faggots

this is honestly great.

May I, brother, ask for services without running the risk of intruding? I fear I may not be able to make myself understood by the worthy pig you are who presides over the fate of these oats. In fact, you speak nothing but oats. Unless you authorize me to plead my case, you will not guess that I want oats.

My imagination is running away with me...Brother!...I refuse everything...I want to set it straight...But the oats! You'd swear I'd sold the Maginot Line! Hacked up Jews like Petiot...It was different in Courbevoie...Now they don't give a damn about what I have to say...But the oats, brother!...Offer some to the last true Frenchman!

Blithe I begged
besotted boar
for bitty bite a oat

Stated, he,
the turgid fiend
"sure, for a romp inside your roast"

So toasted I
to boarish fiend
needed holes more than wholesome

Gave him my ass
he took a pass
I dirty he now loathsome

Yet I lived through wither month
the oats were worth my pride
I ate and washed and bore boarlettes
tears I cried soon dried

What are you on about, mate?

''You, too, have many oats,'' the pig muttered, looking at his brother almost with hatred, and smiling sarcastically. ''I ought to have considered that you would give me some.''
''But brother,'' the other pig replied. ''To help others one must have the right to do it or else, crevez, chiens, si vous n'etes pas contents!''

He deluded himself, this pig, with the dream of a wonderful revenge at some remote date- he believes that he still has an immensity of time at his disposal. So he gives up the petty struggle of the day to day corn-begging. The day will come, he thinks, when all corn will be paid with interest.

"Bro, can I have some of those oats?"
He looked at me, and then back at the oats.
"What, these oats?"
"Yeah, those oats."
"Oh sure. You want me to give them to you?"
DO I?!?!? "Yeah."

This is actually good

He looked me square in the eyes as he said it, a twisted smile was draped across his misshapen hunk of a face. I still have not been able to digest the depth of those words and it pains me so. Every night I writhe and I squirm, awestruck at how an unfortunate individual like him could possibly utter such profundity. Why did he come up with those words? The look on his face has been engraved into my retinas, there is no escaping it. His wry smirk, the squint in his eyes, the elevation of his eyebrows, the small breath of air he expunged from his nostrils as he chortled, I remember it all. Constantly. Constantly I remember it. For when he looked into my eyes he saw weakness and I saw defeat. The others on the table did not notice, the must not have noticed but I did. The truth of those words has rattled in my hollow bones for decades. My entire being has been plunged into the deepest depths of ruination and depravity ever since he faced me and said "Brother, may I have some oats?"

Old brother, old oat eater, give me now some oats.

I got an actual high off of you saying that. Thanks.

Not that guy but I agree with him.

and the pig gave some oats to the other pig, so it goes

o adelphe, ara tnv krithnv exo;

Ezra Pound

Is this Poe?

John Green as a fratter.

you can

It's obviously Lovecraft

Ah, I keep intending to read Lovecraft, but he's always sold out at the local used bookstores, and I always get sidetracked before I remember to look for him on Amazon. Unmedicated ADHD you see.

Some of his stuff is really good but he gets meme'd on way too hard around here.

Thanks to everyone who helped make this meme it got me 15,000 subscribers and 600,000 views on youtube.
>this is literally my youtube channel
youtube.com/watch?v=ASDoiX45jMk

For sale: brother's oats, never eaten.

Hemingway, even though it wasn't Hemingway that wrote it.

Healthy young swine approaches brother, asks if he may have some oats, brother ignores him while eating - HUNGRY. Many such cases!

/b/
Dave Chappelle
Dante

"Ah, yes! Well," the fellow croaked hoarsely, "ah! You see, as it happens I have just run clean out of oats." His feet shuffled, his remaining vim flowing out like a release of steam, and his eyes flicked about in shame. "As it happens, o brother, might you oblige me this one? Rather rummy, this, what?"

Last week at lunch, the pig said to his brother "Can a nigga borrow some oats?" And my first thought wasn't "Oh, my God, he said the word, the 'N' word!" It was "Now how is a nigga gonna borrow some oats? Nigga, is you gonna give it back?"

I enjoyed this, good job

Brother !... may... I have some... oats?... Vlan ! Paf !...

dont worry user I get your reference

"Brother," she moaned, "give me your sweet oats."
He thought she looked majestic like that, with her golden hair cascading down her ample bosom. But he could not forget the tale he had been told earlier that day by a traveler from across the sea, about how he had witnessed a different blonde queen shitting in the middle of the desert.
His manhood failed to rise.
Cersei's face turned to a sneer, "It would appear I have two imps for brothers."

>I looked at the brother and, I have to be honest, I'd never seen such a pitiful thing before. But at the same time, all things considered, he wasn't utterly worthless.
>I gave him some oats, and still had five dollars in my pocket. Later in the afternoon, I went to buy a hotdog.

expected this

Brother, may I have some oats?
He turned and spat. Whys that?
For one day we swine will be as nothing more than these oats. Those which return to the clay to end again at our hooves. Before swine was, oats waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner. When the sun sleeps behind the alizarin walls of yonder caldera and the bonfire lights all that is, the oats remain there, as Apollo and the gods suspended in the stars, while we swine revel before the flesh is stripped from out bones. The swine's spirit is exhausted at the peak of its quest for oats. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day.
His brother spat. Yea, he said. Have yerself some of them oats.

Never got this meme tbf

cormac mcarthy

Give oats!

the pseud trio

Pretty much the only funny thing to ever come out of tumblr

>tumblr
that explains a lot

Excuse me, may I please have some oats you stingy cunt.

Wodehouse right?

Brother, easy on the oats.

that's not what niggardly means, I think you meant niggerly.

In a scholarly study conducted in the United Kingdom, a majority of pigs have been found to communicate with each other through the use of grunts. According to animal-behavioral sociolinguists, the pigs have been determined to communicate politely with one another, as if to ask each other for the food source supplied in the study, oats. This communication method was shown to be especially effective with the dominant "alpha" in-group.

This is very good.

Perfect.

that's actually quite impressive
well done user

Conrad or Uncle Ruckus