I feel so fucking dumb. What are the basics that every person should read?

Don't even think about starting until you have reading knowledge of at least Koine, Latin and Hebrew. You should probably toss in Sanskrit, French and German as well to achieve optimal learning ability.

NICOMACHEAN ETHICS

>cornerstone of western philosophy
dude, I love Meditations, but this is so wrong. Not even those who read and quote the stoics prefer Aurelius (Montaigne, Schopenhauer, Shakespeare). Even then, calling Epictetus and Seneca cornerstones of western philosophy is kind of pushing it.

honestly, OP. Enjoy it while you can. Good intros include Watership Down, Cannery Row, White Noise, and Stoner. Just fucking read, man.

>Meditations- cornerstone of western philosophy.
Your opinion was already garbage but this is a whole other level

>what meaning will i give to life?
I hate these books because they never explain why you can give meaning to life.

>Animal Farm
Heavy handed juvenile garbage meant for literal children
>Brave New World
Dystopian meme
>Man's Search for Meaning-
Hardly essential, holocaust story #203 pun intended
>Mythology by Edith Hamilton
Here's an idea, how about you actual read the Greek myths instead of some physical glorified wiki of them
>Aesop's Fables
Didactic nursery tales meant for early childhood
>Meditations
Out of all of Western phil putting stoicism, and not even Epictetus or Seneca, really makes it clear how little you know what you're talking about
>War & Peace
Long, detailed period piece about Russia. Great but not essential per say, more so than the rest of this awful list at least

Lol I don't think we'll be seeing op around these parts any longer. You all scared him away

por que no don quixote?

I assume it's of poetry. The list was clearly made by an anglo though, as it contains a second-rate english poem and not even Goethe's, let alone the German language's best work.

It's about the influence not the quality. Germans memed Faust hard enough for it to surpass Musil who I think is the best German writer or Holderlin as poet.

>not even Goethe's,
It is his best work though you complete pseud I would love to hear your argument for Werther or Willhelm Meister

I've been interested in Goethe for a while, but something about how he is described as a historical person turns me off. He hated smoking, which is usually a big indication of close-mindedness. It also seems like he's built up as the "smartest person of all time" and was rather pretentious irl, which is suspicious.

It's still anglo chauvinist, as Paradise Lost is in no way one of the 5 most influential pieces of literature of all time. It should be replaced with for example Rousseau, or indeed Cervantes. Faust should be replaced with for example Wilhelm Meister.

I also disagree on your assessment of Robert Musil, but agree on Friedrich Hölderlin.

Goethe isn't Germany's Shakespeare. If he is, then that's damning of Germany's literary abilities. So what he wrote Faust? It's a masterpiece, but Shakespeare wrote like 20 Fausts, so what value is Goethe's work anyway? Just because Germans have servile genes within them and copied a single writer's style for a century doesn't mean that that writer had any truly revolutionary qualities.

Goethe in a lot of ways shaped the intellectual and artistic course of Germany, which in turn shaped the entire European world outside of the anglo-sphere. Seeing as the list deals with influence.

>indeed Cervantes
I actually thinks that's fair. English get's rightful representation through Shakespeare. If only the French had a truly great work than we would complete the central Euro trinity

where do you read the greek myths all in one compendium?

Bibliotheca of Appolodorus

>Goethe isn't Germany's Shakespeare. If he is, then that's damning of Germany's literary abilities

well it isn't that damning. Nobody looks good next to Shakespeare.

Hesiod, Apollodorus, Ovid is the best

Rabelais

Hamlet
Dubliners
The Classic Greek Dramas
Illiad and the Oddysey

for non-fiction

complete works of plato
complete works of aristotle
How to read a book by Mortimer J. Adler.

Add Socrates to that, and that's golden. Nicely done.

This is good
>Add Socrates to that,
The state of this board

...

If I fucked up my high school education because of generic philistine behavior and habitual laziness then do I even deserve to become a better me? Should I even try to get smarter? Should I just off myself when my luck runs out? Where do brainlets begin on khan academy?

...

>actually deleting the post
The absolute fucking state of Veeky Forums

he thinks the internet can be deleted!
HAH!

i dont have 4chanx what did he say

I don't really feel like this.
I feel like I'm creatively fucked. I don't know where to start when it comes down to writing a coherent storyline. It's like I've never really absorbed a single story in my life by never really analyzing how the plots move forward and how all the characters interact and progress.

This. Life is an optimization problem. If you're not capable of at least understanding the Greeks or entry level modern thinkers than it's better not to bother yourself with trash HS tier books and instead focus on something you're more suited for. Everyone, even the lowest 3rd worlder in Africa, has something that they can be good at. Be the best provider, friend, athlete, etc. whatever, but don't do something just to fit in where you don't belong or put up a veneer of pretension.

Where are all these noobs coming from? Go back to playing videogames and watching anime and leave us alone. So many people are so insecure about being a brainlet. Go apply yourself to a skill instead, literature will bring you nothing by emptiness.

Start with the Iliad, then move on to a collected series of Plato. Then a collected series of Aristotle, and some stuff from the Epicureans and the Stoics. Grab Thucydides if and only if you're interested in politics. Then the New Testament, City of God Against the Pagans, and Confessions. Then hit up Aquinas, Dante, Shakespeare, Milton, and Goethe. Then come back to move on.

Note to other anons, no shit this is an incomplete list, but getting a wide net is better than slogging someone down when they might not find their passion until they hit something later down the line.

Notwithstanding the start with the greeks meme, I think it's better to peel back the layers rather than jumping in on a completely different way of thinking. I got into metaphysics/philosophy by way of Jung (not JP ffs), and he was particularly good at pointing out the flaws of modern physicalist thinking

If you want a leg up in understanding what you've read, then read How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler for nonfiction and/or The Art of Fiction by David Lodge for fiction. Don't bother with optimization (i.e., speedreading, notetaking systems, etc.) or literary theory until you've read a ton of books.

This.
You can write a million scenes . . .
But at what page?

Something that makes me feel really dumb is trying to read philosophy. I have read the stanford encyclopedia's entries on stoicism and metaphysics, for instance, and I get absolutely nothing out of them. It just seems like a bunch of meaningless words and abstractions to me. I wish I could actually understand it, but my small brain just sees it as "people making up their own definitions, then making arguments with those definitions, but nothing is proven because they just argued with definitions they invented in the first place." When I try to read philosophy I feel like I'm just going in circles of irrelevance.

>Start with Ulysses, then onto crime and punishment while simultaneously reading war and peace. Making sure you read at least 150 pages a day for full effect.
Then once you've completed those read the Greeks.
After that you're ready for Harry Potter.

Don't take advice from this horrible troll.
Begin with reading Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Homer, Virgil, Ovid, and Dante in that order.
Then read Freud, Lacan, Foucault, and Zizek.
Finally you can begin reading 16th century literature and move up to postmodern literature.
End with Infinite Jest and then return to Veeky Forums to discuss literature with a well informed background.

Do all of this while wearing a white bandanna

I fucked up my hs education, but I read a lot as a child, more than I do now desu. HS was a dark age

Yeah, if you aren't naturally interested in literature than it really isn't for you. I think most people here have been reading since childhood, at least for me the idea of "starting to read" is alien.

Start with the big four.

>Then read Freud, Lacan, Foucault, and Zizek.
>Finally you can begin reading 16th century literature and move up to postmodern literature.
What the fuck are you on about

>infinite jest
every time
truly, the title does not lie about what it has provided us

Oh ho, mr high iq christian over here

>all of that just to read infinite jest

Just bear in mind that philosophy first answers questions then forms schools of thought. Figure out what questions are being answered and then how the conclusion is reached.
The idea philosophy is just people arguing over semantics is usually since most philosophers argue on the same definitions for most problems.
For example do you understand the problem of universals and the solutions?

This post gave me ass aids.

...

i'm really, really scared of that image, mind if i save it?

save it, it's all yours mortal :)

First read the greatest novel ever written, "Don Quixote." Then you'll have a high standard for judging the quality of all other literature.

Lol so you have regrets, everyone has regrets, but it doesn't make sense to let the past unmotivate you in the present

Philosophy is just not for everyone.

Harvard released a collection in a deep green binding that supposedly is as good as receiving a college education.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvard_Classics

Absolutely. Nobody has a perfect past. If you don't have the desire to change yourself then you'll always be able to find something from your past to blame. Continue to work towards improving yourself no matter what.
You weren't really specific about what you're trying to improve, but if you want advice about a particular topic let me know and I will try my best to help. I slacked off in high school too, dropped out, and ended up getting my GED at 19 so I know the feel.

I actually managed to pick up this entire collection for two dollars at a yard sale. All essentially untouched, in awesome condition. (Save for a couple books having the bindings messed up a bit)

Cheapest and best education that I ever bought in my life.

Kill yourself

What's the screen cap from? Looks comfy. Also, seconding on the Harvard classics. If you don't want to jump right into reading all 50 volumes, I know there is a 1 year reading plan that covers the absolute essentials in about 15 minutes a day.

Start by reading the Greeks, but only if you first feel comfortable reading a modern book and poetry. Greeks should absolutely not be your first books if you're illiterate.

I see what you're trying to do here user, and I appreciate the effort but be careful about what opinions you offer. You obviously have either not read Meditations, or you have read Meditations and literally none of the other stoics.

>"Final boss: the entire Bible"
>"feel free to skip the New Testament"

So, not the entire Bible then? I'm not even religious but NT is the root of all western moral philosophy. It is worthy of a lifetime of study and absolutely cannot be skipped. You slovenly ingrate.

OP here is a short list of some bullshit you should read if you want to educate yourself a bit or at least feel not so lost. Just google this shit or go to a library. List goes from easiest to most difficult.

POP-FIC
Bradury, Fahrenheit 451
Orwell, Animal Farm
Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

HOW TO UNDERSTAND
Campbell, The Power of Myth
Hesse, Demian
Tennyson, Idylls of the King

CLASSICS
Homer, Iliad & Odyssey (Lattimore)
Virgil, Aeneid (Lattimore)
Graves, The Greek Myths
The Bible
Milton, Paradise Lost

These are all (mostly) short or easy works to get through and they all have some educative value. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is to realize your place among these timeless works. Just as anarcho-communist normies can disagree with our capitalist system, they still exist within it and contribute to its stability. Similarly, you exist within a western context and being familiar with these works will give you a sense of place and (ultimately) despair at humanity's permanent flaws.

bait

cool animation, im gonna save it if you don't mind

Try the internet encyclopaedia of philosophy instead, SEP is targeted towards an audience who is at least familiar with the technical vocabulary, also try watching Greg Sadler's lectures on YouTube.

absolutely. you still have your entire life ahead of you. who cares what you were like in the past. start now.

you gotta start somewhere but also keep in mind you want to look for what interests you, not just what you think you should read. its good to read books you don’t like sometimes, but def don’t do that if ur new

he hated smoking.... user thats a fucking redundant point

getting more educated on literature wont actually make you smarter. but it will hell as sure give you the feeling of being smart. if thats enough for you then start with muh greeks and come back when your done with them.

Kek

In Search of Lost Time
War and Peace
Anna Karenina
The Brother's Karamazov
Crime and Punishment
Iliad and Odyssey
Divine Comedy
Freud (get a reader)
Faust
Rationalist and empiricist thinkers - Spinoza is GOAT.

You can always spot a poor list by the fact that it includes Freud.

There are no "basics" and the challenge present in media has increased over time, so reading classics is kind of dumb actually.

They are literally and objectively inferior to more developed writings. But then, they are also easier to find in better quality.