BEST English bible version

King James?

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bible.com/bible/76/JHN.1.hwcnt

I thought this image was gay porn

I have to agree this version of the bible is quite funny.

The body of Christ is forcibly being inserted into the mouth of a supplicant by another man in a position of authority and power.

COME ON GUYS I NEED THE BEST ENGLISH VERION. I'M HAVING A FAITH CRISIS

That is fucking IT. I have HAD it with you FAGGOTS telling me that my wholesome christian image made you think of your smut of choice. Have you no shame? Have you no DECENCY? Can't I just start a nice christian thread without someone telling ME that MY favorite image looks like FUCKING GAY PORN?! Well I have HAD IT. My God, will you ever forgive me? I keep praying but the temptations remain. Sometimes I think I would prefer hell to never being able to taste another man's sweat, to fondle his nipples, and alleviate his pain in one final transgression; oh God! Why can't I just be a normal christian man, like the rest of them? Why can't these thoughts leave my body and drip from every orifice like black sludge, WHY must I be left to such misery?! WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?

yeeah suck on that kike meat whiteboi

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okay bud these guys are killing this thread so i'll help you, you're gonna want the Douay-Rheims, catholicism is the best way to go if you're christian (i'll elaborate on that if you'd like) and if not the Douay-Rheims, the Knox is good and also the St. Joseph Bible (aka the New American Bible) will do you good.

hope your crisis is solved. god bless.

I like the NRSV. KJV and ESV are also good.

You have to succumb to gay sex, so that you know how good it actually feels, and then the temptation for the rest of your life is much harder and your virtue will be that much greater for never doing it again.

>tfw you swallow whole the literal flesh of a man at least once a week

Shut the fuck up, faggot

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>catholicism is the best way to go if you're christian
Upon what basis do Catholics claim their tradition is authoritative over orthodox christianity

the catholic & orthodox are bros in honestly, and the fight between them is silly. i just assume that OP is a westerner and the Roman Catholic Church is the church of West.

The Buk of Moron, of curse!

>Bible
>English
Anglos are literally incapable of feeling God's presence

George M. Lamsa

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Revised English Bible, derived from the dead sea scrolls and masoretic texts

Or New Jerusalem Bible.

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hahaha, my sides

I love you guys

Why did you post an excerpt from my diary desu?

This is a literary classic

LaVey, obviously.

If you use King James just make sure you understand some of the expressions and words since it's not modern english. Because not understaning certain things have different meanings today throws a lot of people off in certain verses and passages.

Some will be obvious that you need to look them up to undertand what is being said, words and phrases like 'let hitherto.'

Understanding the difference between ye, thee, and thou, not quite as important perhaps but probably a good idea to know.

And then the only other thing is idioms and expressions that hebrews used, translated, might throw you off. You think they mean one thing when they mean another.

There are a few of them so you just have to study the bible, read about things over time and learn what the expressions and words mean.

skepticsannotatedbible.com

please be bait

god damn that is a gay pic