Let's be honest: between you and this guy, who do you consider a better writer?

But hardly any authors get published that way

Paolini did though

Yes,
Ice cold. When I was 11, I bought this from the scholastic book fair. At the time, I read just about fucking anything and I could not finish that shit book.

I mean, the main character passes out like, 5 times, and that's my fucking fetish, and I couldn't finish the goddamn book. Awful. If your trash can't even entice a pubescent fetischist, then you know you fucked up beyond repair.

wasn't this the guy who wrote a shitty version of starwars but with dragons and only got published because of nepotism?

So?

The better writer would get his/her shit read, a writer who isn't read is pretty much a musician, who never played music outside of their own room, which is quite pathetic. So for someone to count as better as Paolini, the person would at least need some avid readers of their fanfiction.

I haven't tried to publish my main work yet but some of my short stories are published in literally magazines ... so guess I am not a horrible writer, which should put us on a similar level, only that I get paid a few millions fewer.

Nepotism doesn't sell millions of books though. He got a great head-start (as does everyone else to a certain degree, say the people who live in the first world, have English as their main language, etc, etc, etc) but in the end, his writing was good enough to be loved by millions of teens.

>the main character passes out like, 5 times
impishidea.com/criticism/everything-wrong-with-eragon
>Well, it’s finally finished. I will need to cleanse my brain now. Anyways, I’ll give you some totals of everything that I kept a count on now:
>Bow stringing: 7, that means Eragon strung his bow (almost every time at a bad moment) once for every 71 pages.
>Blacking out: 10, that means Eragon blacked out once for every 50 pages.
>Crying: 16, that means Eragon cried once for every 31 pages.

Paolini, credit where credit's due, worked very hard to promote his book. His success is testament to his marketing skills rather than his writing skills.

Look, I admitted I didn't finish the fucking book, but my point still stands.

>connections to the publishing industry
From what I know they started their publishing company specifically to publish Eragon and travelled across the US to advertize it, so no, they didn't have immediate connection to the publishing industry, but they had a lot of money and free time, that's for sure.

I loved it as a kid and I don't want to ruin my memories by reading it again and realizing how bad it actually is.

That guy. Mostly because he has stick-to-itiveness and many more hours at the keyboard than I. I can barely write an A research paper.

>overwhelmed farmboy blacks out and cries
Sounds pretty reasonable.

No amount of self-promotion will balance out the quality of the book. It's not like he had just one surprise hit, the entire series sold reasonably well if I recall it right. Writing per se doesn't either, pretty prose alone won't sell much. Take the shit he ripped off, Star Wars and LOTR are both pretty simplistic and juvenile too, people still love the stories. And both of these stole from the stuff that came before.

He had the complete mix of good marketing, inspiring story of a kid writing novels and the novels themselves that were his own take on already popular stories, written in a way that didn't turn off his target market.

I found that book really hard to finish. First time I tried to read it was maybe when I was 10, then I finally got around to reading the full thing when I was 14. I got up the final battle scene but even that wasn't written very interestingly- and when the final battle is a slog, that's a bad sign. Also fantasy isnt really my thing, theres only so many different combinations of evil empires and castles and dragons you can create, every fantasy book seems the same. It's like the literary equivalent of heavy metal.

Eragon was actually a good book, but the rest were trash.

So Paolini is an exception. His cred as a published author is therefore no litmus test for quality. Even disregarding exceptions, being published is very tenuously connected to quality of writing. Proust self published if I'm not mistaken.

I honestly love the series from when I was a teen. Re-read them more than once. Maybe today I'd look at it differently.

When Eragon turned into a fucking elf I couldn't go on. Even 12 year old me thought it was retarded and gay.

Never read it but I’ve been told I’m a good writer and should do something with it

This

Hes a literary god compared to james patterson or john grisham

caring for a bow consists of keeping it unstrung and waxed when not in use.
But yeah hes a fag and the author is shit.

elementaryschoolkino

post more

>swap the D of Dragon with the next letter
wow how did I not notice this before

Oy vey this looks antisemitic!

iktf user

Me potentially. I wrote a lot and trashed it through constant catharsis.
Working on my first novel now.
We'll see how it goes.

This is kino, say something nice about it

The first two books were extremely sick as hell back in the day, but it turns out that even if you copy all the intriguing plot points of your story from other media franchises, you still have to be able to invent a satisfying ending. When it came time for Chrissy P to actually come up with conclusions to all the elements of mystery and tension that he had absolutely fucking ladled into the books his weakness as an author was on full display.

The hidden weapon of prophecy that had a cool riddle that had to be solved turned out to be a space rock the only real purpose of which was to allow ChriPao to waste a thousand pages describing the menial labour Eragon had to accomplish to turn it into a sword. The last 120 pages of Inheritance revolve almost entirely around Eragon doing admin work for a new school, including going into self-imposed exile because his dragons might eat the sheep of local farmers. Galbatorix's death scene actually made me dumber for having read it; Eragon casts a spell on Galbatorix that makes him feel bad about what he's done, so he immediately kills himself. That's it. That's how the bad guy dies and the main threat is removed. But worst of all, Eragon doesn't get to fuck after four books of teasing my pre-and-early-teen cock. You made me read almost 4,000 pages of this dumb ass shit, and you can't even give me the courtesy of a gratuitous human-elf sex scene. It's such fucking bullshit. Your shithouse derivative star wars fanfiction isn't above smut, ChrisPiss, or at least a kiss. Fuck off. Whatever, I'm over it, I'll never think about your story again. I hope you're forgotten by humanity entirely.

In conclusion, fuck eragon and fuck Pisstopher Chaolini. I don't think the movie was bad when considered alone because the books fucking sucked too. Thank you for reading.

Me = better
Him = more succesful

Me, but he's published and better than most of the drek on the NYT.

I give him bonus points for having psychic dragons outside of Pern, too.

>No amount of self-promotion will balance out the quality of the book

Stop this fucking shit. Nowadays all best sellers are literally trash and you know it.Half of Veeky Forums can write better than half of the most payed authors working nowadays

I thought it was a homage to Aragorn.

nice

This and house of scorpion desu

I could make a better plot then him, but I also suck at writing dialogue. Basically, he would do better commercially and I would do better critically. Of course, for that to happen I would need to actually start writing again.

Then how do I get my shit bestsold?

Mind directing me to a publisher?

It's fantasy. Remove stupid shit like "Whoopsie he wanted to preserve his bowstring so he removed it just in time to be attacked and not have a bow!"

can i get a quick run down?

garjzla

I still read these from time to time

If you learn someone's true name, you have complete control of them. I think.

Just like in Earthsea.

lol 100% copied from real world esoteric texts

I don't write.

I'm going to read that.
See, ten years ago, I moved to germany, and my german, while completely acceptable while speaking, is pretty mediocre as far as writing goes, but I just- I DON'T ENJOY READING GERMAN.
I'm sorry, but I don't. The only german book I've explicitly enjoyed was Der Schatz der Könige von Frankreich.
So I keep trying to read german YA, so I can actually WRITE german. It's not actually a problem, since I graduated a while ago, but still...

Have you read any of Walter Mörs books? A family member gave me a copy of Käpt'n Blaubär a while back and it was entertaining, if pretty long winded.

Hmm, no, not at all.
Haha, actually, what I most remember is reading Detektiv Conan, because comics and manga are actually great for learning the spoken language. The written language was just... school work, and random shit, since it's not as important? Like, you have to be able to talk on the fly, but as long as it's written down, you can extrapolate from what you know from the written language, and you have more time to unlock it, right?

I'm actually good with languages, so I can understand a lot of random shit, it's just... writing it is hard. German is sterile on a good day, so as someone used to the random bullshit of the english language, finding a german book that's not... clinical... is difficult.

Well, Käpt'n Blaubär at least does have some "clinical" language but mostly in the form of joke-y encyclopedia entries about the book's setting, Zamonien.
Maybe try some poetry as well? Georg Trakl and Friedrich Hölderlin are both about as far from that overly scholastic tone Germans tend to enjoy adopting.

Heads up though, I'm also not a native German speaker.

>It's fantasy, so let's just just ignore basic logic and internal consistency!

Oh, german poetry is something of a hobby of mine, actually.
I always tell people that I think languages have their strengths and weaknesses and fuck me if german wasn't fucking MADE for lyrics and poems. I'm a fan of wanderlieder, actually, particularly by Baumbach. Nevermind Goethe and Schiller.

In the end, I think it's just something completely arbitrary that I can't really get around.

thats so dumb

sorry

these two

I don't know if this was nepotism or not.
What I do know is that most publishers will only ask for a few chapters from your book, and a target audience.
This means it was marketed well, and not necessarily good.

saved

why isn't Chris-chan criticized more for l i t e r a l l y using the same narrative structure as star wars for the first book? Even 10 year old me knew that I was reading crap.

There's no star wars in this book

Myself as well as 90% of the people I shared a creative writing course with. Basically the only people I consider worse than him are the ones who wrote nothing but video game/cartoon cross over fanfiction.

>Eragon was actually a good book
If you are 10 and have never read a single high fantasy story before, sure.

Him, probably.

I don't really think he's shitty, not amazing but not shitty. Then again, I read the books when I was pretty young so I suppose I have rose tinted glasses. I get why people don't like it though.

Then Ancient Language (Elvish, I think? they just call it the ancient language in the book as far as I remember) has a direct connection to magic. I think intent counts too. So if I say "Set the sword I hold on fire" the whole thing lights up. If I say "Set the blade of the sword I hold on fire" only the blade lights up. Alternatively, you can just say something like... "Fire" when you fire an arrow and almost kill yourself with the energy drain if you don't stop it because it's so vague. Magic takes energy, like physical energy, if you use too much you can kill yourself, but you can take energy from other living things (to the point of killing them) and store energy in gemstones.

Then there are other bits like how you need to be very precise with how you word shit. In one book a woman asks Eragon to bless her child, so he says "Atra gülia un ilian tauthr ono un atra ono waíse skölir frá rauthr" (May luck and happiness follow you and may you be a shield from misfortune). See, he meant to say "may you be shielded from misfortune" but since he fucked up he basically cursed the kid to always know when people are in pain and have a need to help them, I think it's bad enough that she starts vomiting and has bad pains when she doesn't. It's so bad the big combat scenes in the book put her out of commission, I think they have to knock her out for them because it hurts her so badly.

I actually like it too, regardless of how original it may or may not be, I read the books as a kid and the idea of a magic system that relied really heavily on the way you worded your spells and need to manage the energy you use.

Then there was the whole not being able to lie in the Ancient Language and the Elves end up becoming rules lawyering dicks because of it.

That's not what I said at all.
What was his bow made of? Do we know how long it takes to wear down? What internal consistency are you referencing? Are George R R Martin or Tolkien retarded because their archers weren't constantly traveling with their bows unstrung? It's not like Eragon depicts a normal, civilised world where your highest priority is maximising the life of your fucking bow string. How many times did he brush his teeth or cut his nails? Shitty excuses to have your character unprepared for a conflict are shitty, even if in the real world they would have lick of logic to them.

The internal consistency is implied. It was never said that the bow was particularly sturdy, or that bows never wear out in the world of Eragon. It's entirely reasonable that he might not have it strung in the event of an ambush.

This was my favorite book as a kid so I guess I'll go with him.

It not being stated that bows never wear out isn't an excuse. It's fiction and worse soft fantasy. If it happened once it would be a contrived but realistic scene, multiple times is fucking stupid. Nobody would bat an eye if he never restrung it at all and it wouldn't take any effort or talent to give a reason he has to be so meticulous with it, nor a reason why he might not. Again, how many times did he do other things that he presumably would do if this was the real world but you wouldn't include unless it was a good excuse to get your character into a situation?

Patterson literally has ghost writers who do the actual manual labor of writing the thing after he creates basic outlines, which is why he can church out a fuckload of books per year.
He's not an author, he's a brand at the end of the day.
The only silver lining to that is that the people who ghost write for him actually do get pretty good kick starts to their writing careers and actually go on to sell their own books afterwards, so I'm not entirely sour towards his lack of talent as an author.

The Lost Years of Merlin (book 1 at least)
The Shadow Club
Artemis Motherfucking Fowl
Mr. Monday, Lord Tuesday, Drowned Wednesday
The Conch Bearer
House of Scorpion

You summarized the first two books perfectly.

>implying star wars isn't shitty

>using the same narrative structure as star wars
This is not a good way to describe something, the reason being: Star Wars are the definition of mainstream. When you compare anything to Star Wars you make yourself look like you are not familiar with anything but Star Wars and the like. You have to be more specific.
That said, I have never read Eragon, maybe that made me miss specifics you implied

>"Atra gülia un ilian tauthr ono un atra ono waíse skölir frá rauthr" (May luck and happiness follow you and may you be a shield from misfortune).
Such plot decisions were already unsound back in "To serve men" time.

The movie was exactly what the books deserved.

It's Young Adult Fantasy written by a not-especially-talented Young Adult for even Younger Adults

It didn't need to break new ground and I don't think there was a lot of overlap between kids reading Eragon and people who read 1950's sci-fi.

Its based in Ancient Egyptian beliefs.

>posting a slut elf that wants to be a cocksleave

...

...

Oh no, it's illegal and makes zero sense to copy actual magic traditions.

You're retarded.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_name

So? What's so bad about copying existing mythological/magical elements?

I didn't say it was bad I was demonstrating that's not illegal and it is copied from actual magic traditions.
It is lazy though.

>It is lazy though.
Eh, is it? He actually seemed to put some effort behind the language shit.
Still doesn't explain the deus ex machina of that fucking dancing ritual. My 14 year old self was consfused and embarrased

>He actually seemed to put some effort behind the language shit.
I think there was actually a lot of effort put into the books, it's just the person behind the effort started out very young and it shows and didn't really develop into a magnificent talent towards the end.

Listen retard, the poster stated that it was the most original shit ever so people replied that it's just not true.
Follow the discussion or stop replying and eat your derivative turds you stupid piece of shit.

Are you talking about

>i liked his magic

Or

>If you learn someone's true name, you have complete control of them. I think.

Cause I don't think either of them say that.

Wait a second, if elven language is so anal about wording, shouldn't the girl have been turned into a literal shield instead of a figurative one?

>didn't really develop into a magnificent talent
And fullstop.

Ok, found what I was looking for on the wiki, which is less shit than I thought it would be.

inheritance.wikia.com/wiki/Spell_creativity

"The example given by Brom was that a master could say Adurna (water) and produce a diamond. While it might seem improbable to some, the creative magician could clearly see the relationship between water and the diamond and use that as the focal point for the spell's intent."

What you intended to do with the spell was equally as important as the words you used to make it happen.

I guess I remember it being anal because it kind of was, but wasn't at the same time?

Shit man, I don't fucking know. Made some kind of sense in the books though, but then again I was eight when I started reading the first book.

As a consultation for the shitty answer, have this amazing picture from the linked wiki page.

>Artemis motherfucking Fowl
MY
FUCKING
NIGGA

>Supernaturalist continuing never ever