All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

In the last years of the Seventeenth Century there was to be found among the fops and fools of the London coffee-houses one rangy, gangling flitch called Ebenezer Cooke, more ambitious than talented, and yet more talented than prudent, who, like his friends-in-folly, all of whom were supposed to be educating at Oxford or Cambridge, had found the sound of Mother English more fun to game with than her sense to labor over, and so rather than applying himself to the pains of scholarship, had learned the knack of versifying, and ground out quires of couplets after the fashion of the day, afroth with Joves and Jupiters, aclang with jarring rhymes, and string-taut with similes stretched to the snapping-point.

I am a sick man.

That whole opening paragraph is great.

So, at first glance..
>Ulysses, Lolita, The Stranger, Finnegans Wake, The Divine Comedy and Moby Dick.
What did i miss?

It's saccharine, to be honest

Just like your mums pussy last night

I wonder if you could post a random line from something like a Harry Potter book on Veeky Forums and then some tryhard fag would say how deep it is because they have no idea what they are talking about

A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is
where I was born, an what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were
occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I
don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

I have already done something like this, but no one is replying.

The Bible, The Odyssey, Neuromancer

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yup, that's me. You are probably wondering how I got on this board.

STEP ASIDE, WRITERLETS.

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

>It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.

Past the flannel plains and blacktop graphs and skylines of canted rust, and past the tobacco-brown river overhung with weeping trees and coins of sunlight through them on the water downriver, to the place beyond the windbreak, where untilled fields simmer shrilly in the A.M. heat: shattercane, lambsquarter, cutgrass, saw brier, nutgrass, jimson-weed, wild mint, dandelion, foxtail, spinecabbage, goldenrod, creeping Charlie, butterprint, nightshade, ragweed, wild oat, vetch, butcher grass, invaginate volunteer beans, all heads nodding in a soft morning breeze like a mother’s hand on your cheek.

Linda Florida! fair land of flowers!

This is a good one but it only just makes up for thr abysmal opening line he used in War and Peace.

dude
juxtaposition
lmao

Two households, both alike in dignity
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene

>The tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap at three on the teeth.
>Lo. Lee. Ta.

I don't know how anyone couldn't love this.

Not even Shakespeare's best

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad:
It wearies me; you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
I am to learn;

>Even Camilla had enjoyed masquerades, of the safe sort where the mask may be dropped at that critical moment it presumes itself as reality.

Shit that's good. Is the rest of the book at that level?

Not as memorable, plus The merchant of Venice is a shitty play as well

i will cut you

The Quran is also in there

>"When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon."

Better

crash!

Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. Ou peut-être hier, je ne sais pas.