You have to cook something for him
What you do?
You have to cook something for him
What you do?
I mash him a raw potato and serve it with salt. My specialty.
I would cook him a ribeye, marinated with herb butter, caramelized onions, sauteed mushrooms, potatoes with butter, grilled stuffed Anaheim peppers and Ice cold quality ale. I would accept his criticisms but if he was a dick about it I would tell him he can shove it up his puckered ass and go fuck himself to death in the freezer.
I cook him some refried beans made with lots of bacon grease,lots, and some mexican chorizo with eggs and drizzle lots of butter on top, served with heavily buttered tortillas. Yes chef!
Bust out the ramen cup
Cook him up some Chef Boyardee ravioli. Nobody can hate some ravioli
You dumbasses. You cook an omelet. That's how he judges his chefs.
Rat poison but covered in olive oil so he loves it
My slow cooker corned beef dinner. So fucking good. Impossible to mess up
Beef Wellington but I would fuck up the pastry
toast with butter. see if he remembers
wild escargot from my yard
something insanely complicated and with a lot of steps that i suck at
free master class, you’re an idiot if you think you can impress this guy so why not learn something
Honey mustard alfredo topped with blended walnuts and cream cheese with a little sprinkle of dried cranberries and a dash of meme garlic powder and cumin along with a generous portion of shrimp and then i do a little meme drizzle on a plate with green pesto paste before serving on it
He calls you a pretentious donkey and tells you to fuck off
He thinks you're the most avant-garde chef the world has ever seen and offers you a sous job
gordon ramsay walks in
select our finest breed of hostess and seat him in the best spot available
get his drink situated
"i'm ready to order"
he orders something rather simple
he says "i want your cooks to experiment a bit, i want something I've never had before"
challenge accepted you english cunt
i know how ramsay likes his steaks, i make him a great one
quickly marinade a flat iron steak with garlic and the piss from his hostess
slap that fucker on a pan
chef ramsay loves rare steaks
burn it to be sure it's cooked
cum on the steak as a special ingredient
i serve chef ramsay his food
im stark naked, covered only by my apron
he looks baffled but tries it anyway
this is my only chance
toss apron aside
start dry humping his leg to establish dominance while he's focused on barfing
i am the superior chef now
he calls the cops
pull a glock out of my ass
double tap to the back of his head
i get my chefs knife from the kitchen
carefully carve his face off and wear it, body was thrown in the freezer
cops finally come in
they bust through the door
"EVERYONE GET THE FUCK ON THE FLOOR"
everybody walk the dinosaur
That was so fucking bad.
Im not even gonna bother with posting the screenshot on the Veeky Forums reddit.
een lekker worstenbroodje zal Gordon wel lusten!
thanks user you reminded me of the good old days.
kill yourself plebbitor.
Peanut butter jelly banana sandwich, spicy sweet chili Doritos, and white sips
come home from work one day to find Gordon sat on my sofa looking through the TV Times
taken aback, I stutter out a "what are you doing?" as I shuffle into the room
"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? GOD"
I stand there awkwardly as he licks his finger and turns the page with a snap
"is there anything you recommend?" he asks without taking his eyes off the page
"I don't watch TV I usually use the internet or an app"
"unbelievable" he stares at me for about 20 seconds "go on, lets see what shit you consume when left to your own devices"
I boot up WWE network, some classic WCW Bash at the Beach
"Is this pre-recorded?"
I try to respond but he cuts me off
"good god is that Chris Benoit? Shocking. How old is this? IS THAT EDDY FUCKING GUERRERO? HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR 50 YEARS. TURN IT OFF."
i slide my greasy digits all over the touch screen hoping to find some Live footage
I peck at the newest content
our eyes meet in the reflection of the black screen
the video loads
I'm visibly sweating
he sits there in silence with his hand on his chin, index finger raised
"what the fuck is this?"
"Smackdown? ITS FUCKING RAW"
i'll serve an omelette up his ass
Grilled lamb without lamb sauce.
Strychnine and rice pilaf
hopefully he will eat enough before scolding me on my poor attempt at murder
Make him one of his shitty "I've completely given up" burgers. And then punch him in his stupid fucking face. How did his mother not instantly expose him to the elements to die when she saw his retarded face?
fresh local produce, cooked simply, beautifully prepared
Scrambled eggs with lots of semen mixed in so it's the consistency he likes
Seriously the cunt cannot cook eggs
I would write “Justice for Amy” in Heinz ketchup on paper plate
I HIT U I AM BIG GUY!!!! GRRRRRRRR
summers close billy could you just do your homework and wait when your kind starts posting
A heeping pile of my shit decorated with earlier prepared enema coulis garnished with a sprinkling of my ginger ass-beard
Arsenic laced overcooked eggs with undercooked bacon, burnt toast and a cup of instant coffee with a generous amount of spit and more arsenic. I dislike him and would want his last meal to be a bad one.
Oats honestly. I don't need to prove anything to him.
I'd devilishly purchase some fast food hamburgers and pass them off as my own.
he still think steamed hams is funny
This board beats memes to death worse than reddit.
implying I want to be one of his chefs
It got me a precious (You), which validates my existence.
just a fortune cookie on a plate
in it the message will say
i am woman, hear me RAW
Serve him a veggie dish with a special ingredient so he becomes a veggie too
You utter fucking pleb.
I bet you fuck up toast
Omelette with morels and butter.
i can make a good eggs benedict
No, I don't.
Raw chicken breast and a whole potato
Absolute shit and done with even worse execution. Kys stupid try hard redditor
vargposting confirms that you are no better
varg poster calling someone else a redditor
A dark chocolate souffle
A jibarito. I bet he's never had one!
Please keep all paranormal and horrific images to /x/ please
I’m literally quivering right now
I’d sear some scallops with butter and thyme. I think he’d appreciate my use of white pepper instead of black when seasoning so that the scallops retain a clean presentation.
I’d blanch some asparagus and give them a light sauté.
I’d do my best to attempt a lemon beurre blanc but he has extensive training in classic french cuisine and a sauce like that may come under scrutiny. I’m sure as a guest of mine he’d say it was a charming attempt.
I’d finish with a panna cotta, flavored with whatever fruit is in season at the time, along with a reduction.
I can’t see him being too harsh, especially if he’s my guest. He would probably give me tips on how to improve everything.
I make shakshouka and a frise salad
If I recall, in a video he says he only rages at people on his shows that are professional chefs who should know better. I'd say he'd be very impressed with your try, user.
Why do people watch this guy’s garbage?
chicken and rice
Hotdog with toothpaste on it and then ask him why he blocked me.
Braised chicken drums sticks in wine. With chili, garlic and rosemary. Carrots, potatoes and broadbeans to be added in the last 10/5 minutes, and some crusty bread to soak up the juices. It's a simple and hearty dish that's hard to fuck up. I think he would be appreciative of the authenticity and honesty of the dish.
Pineapple pizza, his favorite dish.
I'll cook my heart out for his dick
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