You have to cook something for him

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

You have to cook something for him

What you do?

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All urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0
mega.nz/#F!DpAz2IgQ!nW7bPNnpJFk5CAV3ypiaHw
youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

I mash him a raw potato and serve it with salt. My specialty.

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

I would cook him a ribeye, marinated with herb butter, caramelized onions, sauteed mushrooms, potatoes with butter, grilled stuffed Anaheim peppers and Ice cold quality ale. I would accept his criticisms but if he was a dick about it I would tell him he can shove it up his puckered ass and go fuck himself to death in the freezer.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

I cook him some refried beans made with lots of bacon grease,lots, and some mexican chorizo with eggs and drizzle lots of butter on top, served with heavily buttered tortillas. Yes chef!

Emberfire
Emberfire

Wurstbrot

Supergrass
Supergrass

Lunchable pizza

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

Bust out the ramen cup

Spamalot
Spamalot

Cook him up some Chef Boyardee ravioli. Nobody can hate some ravioli

5mileys
5mileys

You dumbasses. You cook an omelet. That's how he judges his chefs.

askme
askme

Rat poison but covered in olive oil so he loves it

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SniperGod
SniperGod

My slow cooker corned beef dinner. So fucking good. Impossible to mess up

massdebater
massdebater

Beef Wellington but I would fuck up the pastry

Firespawn
Firespawn

toast with butter. see if he remembers

eGremlin
eGremlin

wild escargot from my yard

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PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

something insanely complicated and with a lot of steps that i suck at

free master class, you’re an idiot if you think you can impress this guy so why not learn something

likme
likme

Honey mustard alfredo topped with blended walnuts and cream cheese with a little sprinkle of dried cranberries and a dash of meme garlic powder and cumin along with a generous portion of shrimp and then i do a little meme drizzle on a plate with green pesto paste before serving on it

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

He calls you a pretentious donkey and tells you to fuck off

Emberburn
Emberburn

He thinks you're the most avant-garde chef the world has ever seen and offers you a sous job

eGremlin
eGremlin

be me
head chef
slow night
gordon ramsay walks in
select our finest breed of hostess and seat him in the best spot available
get his drink situated
"i'm ready to order"
ohshitnigger.jpg
he orders something rather simple
he says "i want your cooks to experiment a bit, i want something I've never had before"
challenge accepted you english cunt
i know how ramsay likes his steaks, i make him a great one
quickly marinade a flat iron steak with garlic and the piss from his hostess
slap that fucker on a pan
chef ramsay loves rare steaks
burn it to be sure it's cooked
cum on the steak as a special ingredient
i serve chef ramsay his food
im stark naked, covered only by my apron
he looks baffled but tries it anyway
instantly vomits
this is my only chance
toss apron aside
start dry humping his leg to establish dominance while he's focused on barfing
i am the superior chef now
he calls the cops
pull a glock out of my ass
double tap to the back of his head
i get my chefs knife from the kitchen
carefully carve his face off and wear it, body was thrown in the freezer
cops finally come in
they bust through the door
"EVERYONE GET THE FUCK ON THE FLOOR"
everybody walk the dinosaur

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Stupidasole
Stupidasole

That was so fucking bad.
Im not even gonna bother with posting the screenshot on the Veeky Forums reddit.

Supergrass
Supergrass

dit
een lekker worstenbroodje zal Gordon wel lusten!

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

thanks user you reminded me of the good old days.
kill yourself plebbitor.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

Avgolemeno

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RumChicken
RumChicken

Peanut butter jelly banana sandwich, spicy sweet chili Doritos, and white sips

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Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

come home from work one day to find Gordon sat on my sofa looking through the TV Times
taken aback, I stutter out a "what are you doing?" as I shuffle into the room
"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? GOD"
I stand there awkwardly as he licks his finger and turns the page with a snap
"is there anything you recommend?" he asks without taking his eyes off the page
"I don't watch TV I usually use the internet or an app"
"unbelievable" he stares at me for about 20 seconds "go on, lets see what shit you consume when left to your own devices"
I boot up WWE network, some classic WCW Bash at the Beach
"Is this pre-recorded?"
I try to respond but he cuts me off
"good god is that Chris Benoit? Shocking. How old is this? IS THAT EDDY FUCKING GUERRERO? HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR 50 YEARS. TURN IT OFF."
i slide my greasy digits all over the touch screen hoping to find some Live footage
I peck at the newest content
buffering
eeeEEEEEEEAAAAOOoo
our eyes meet in the reflection of the black screen
"Jesus Christ"
the video loads
I'm visibly sweating
he sits there in silence with his hand on his chin, index finger raised
"what the fuck is this?"
"S-Smackdown?"
"Smackdown? ITS FUCKING RAW"

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New_Cliche
New_Cliche

tube steaks.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

i'll serve an omelette up his ass

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

Grilled lamb without lamb sauce.

Soft_member
Soft_member

Strychnine and rice pilaf
hopefully he will eat enough before scolding me on my poor attempt at murder

Snarelure
Snarelure

Make him one of his shitty "I've completely given up" burgers. And then punch him in his stupid fucking face. How did his mother not instantly expose him to the elements to die when she saw his retarded face?

JunkTop
JunkTop

fresh local produce, cooked simply, beautifully prepared

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

Scrambled eggs with lots of semen mixed in so it's the consistency he likes

Seriously the cunt cannot cook eggs

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

I would write “Justice for Amy” in Heinz ketchup on paper plate

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

I HIT U I AM BIG GUY!!!! GRRRRRRRR
summers close billy could you just do your homework and wait when your kind starts posting

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

A heeping pile of my shit decorated with earlier prepared enema coulis garnished with a sprinkling of my ginger ass-beard

5mileys
5mileys

Arsenic laced overcooked eggs with undercooked bacon, burnt toast and a cup of instant coffee with a generous amount of spit and more arsenic. I dislike him and would want his last meal to be a bad one.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Oats honestly. I don't need to prove anything to him.

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w8t4u
w8t4u

I'd devilishly purchase some fast food hamburgers and pass them off as my own.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

he still think steamed hams is funny
This board beats memes to death worse than reddit.

SniperWish
SniperWish

implying I want to be one of his chefs

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

It got me a precious (You), which validates my existence.

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

just a fortune cookie on a plate

in it the message will say
i am woman, hear me RAW

Techpill
Techpill

crispy pancake

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

Serve him a veggie dish with a special ingredient so he becomes a veggie too

5mileys
5mileys

TV times
You utter fucking pleb.

Evilember
Evilember

Toast.

DeathDog
DeathDog

I bet you fuck up toast

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

Omelette with morels and butter.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

i can make a good eggs benedict

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

that's rude

Flameblow
Flameblow

No, I don't.

RavySnake
RavySnake

youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0

That's how he chooses his cooks.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

Raw chicken breast and a whole potato

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

Absolute shit and done with even worse execution. Kys stupid try hard redditor

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ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

vargposting confirms that you are no better

idontknow
idontknow

varg poster calling someone else a redditor

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Techpill
Techpill

A dark chocolate souffle

StonedTime
StonedTime

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girlDog
girlDog

Steamed hams

cum2soon
cum2soon

A jibarito. I bet he's never had one!

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Bidwell
Bidwell

Please keep all paranormal and horrific images to /x/ please

I’m literally quivering right now

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

I’d sear some scallops with butter and thyme. I think he’d appreciate my use of white pepper instead of black when seasoning so that the scallops retain a clean presentation.

I’d blanch some asparagus and give them a light sauté.

I’d do my best to attempt a lemon beurre blanc but he has extensive training in classic french cuisine and a sauce like that may come under scrutiny. I’m sure as a guest of mine he’d say it was a charming attempt.

I’d finish with a panna cotta, flavored with whatever fruit is in season at the time, along with a reduction.

I can’t see him being too harsh, especially if he’s my guest. He would probably give me tips on how to improve everything.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

I make shakshouka and a frise salad

iluvmen
iluvmen

If I recall, in a video he says he only rages at people on his shows that are professional chefs who should know better. I'd say he'd be very impressed with your try, user.

viagrandad
viagrandad

Why do people watch this guy’s garbage?

5mileys
5mileys

chicken and rice

Inmate
Inmate

Hotdog with toothpaste on it and then ask him why he blocked me.

Emberfire
Emberfire

Braised chicken drums sticks in wine. With chili, garlic and rosemary. Carrots, potatoes and broadbeans to be added in the last 10/5 minutes, and some crusty bread to soak up the juices. It's a simple and hearty dish that's hard to fuck up. I think he would be appreciative of the authenticity and honesty of the dish.

Snarelure
Snarelure

Pineapple pizza, his favorite dish.

5mileys
5mileys

I'll cook my heart out for his dick

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