Recommend me books by reclusive autists, Veeky Forums

I've given up all hope on attempting to blend in with this extroverted normie world, m8s. Wherever I go, I'll always be lonely and out-of-place. My only consolation is that other weird autists have existed and left behind books about their isolation and gloom. After going through Dazai Osamu, Fernando Pessoa, H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, and Louis-Ferdinand Celine, what other solitary autists do I read?

My Twisted World by Elliot Rodger

That Henry Darger monstrosity

How about you work on your personality instead?
Listen. I'm a freak.
But, I used to be a FREAK. If you get me. People don't have any interest in putting effort into a relationship with someone they don't know, get it? That means you've got to do the work. It's lonely, and tedious and stupid, but it's worth it.
What I did, and I made these laws for myself ate these:
>1. Shut up
think about what you say. Sometimes, you just don't need to talk. You want to, but sometimes not saying anything is better. Try walking up to a group of people and just listening to their conversation. Practice not talking.
>2. Mantra
Everyone is neurotic. Some have it worse, but everyone's got it. If you notice you have an idea you get hung up on, then make a mantra to fight it. For me, I got this idea that no matter how nice they were being, they hated me. Even if it was something stupid, like not replying to a dumb text. So my mantra was "IT'S NORMAL, THEY DON'T HATE YOU, THEY DO THAT WITH EVERYONE, CALM DOWN" It takes years, and it'll never work 100%, but it helps a lot.
>3. Say yes.
for a long time, I felt really alone, so I made a deal with myself. I said "if someone invites me somewhere, I'll say yes" didn't matter if I wanted to go or not. On one hand, being a recluse leads to depression, and on the other hand, actually accepting invitations shows people that you're actually interested in human interaction.
4. (AND THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE)
Have your own hobbies. Nothing is more annoying than a brown-noser. As far as I know, this is the easiest one to fail, especially if you're eager to make friends. You have to have your own interests and things you're willing to say "naw, I'd rather do that" It doesn't have to be big, and you can't be obnoxious about it, but nothing is worse than someone's who's too desperate. Don't ignore what you want because you think people want you to. Remember to sometimes say "no, I don't want to do that, sorry. I think I'm going to stay home and read." People want friends, not servants.

Or something like that.

I feel the exact same way except instead of resignation I am becoming full of rage and violence.

Have you read Pierre Drieu la Rochelle?

>Elliot Rodger
I don't want to kill people and I've had girlfriends before though. Henry Darger seems interesting.

Why no books, m8? I appreciate the advice anyway, especially the third bit. My problem is that I never talk at all, I get way too nervous around large groups. Just got out of a three hour class today, in fact, and I didn't say a single word.

> I've had girlfriends before

fuck off schoolboy nigger you are not a "weird autist" delete this thread before it's too late

Nope, what would you recommend? And why do you feel rage (REEEEE)? I feel disappointed rather than angry.

I don't know how to say this, but I'm not socially unaware, can be charismatic in situations, have a chad tier sport hobby that I'm actually good at and looks impressive, along with a genuine interest in lit and phil. Yet I don't have any friends because I've always preferred to be alone, and it works out until I look back and realize I've "wasted" my early years; but I also know that given opportunities I opt out anyway. I think this is just natural introvert feels, but I really want to overcome it, because on some level I'm not fulfilled, passing by a college or HS will give me a whole score of >ywn. Blog post over, I can't imagine there is a book for this but I would unironically appreciate reccs

Back to /r9k/ with you. You robots think shooting cum into a vagina will automatically solve your existential woes. It doesn't. If you're so utterly desperate to get laid, buy a hooker.

Everybody has "existential woes" the simple fact that you were able to attract a girl means you are not a weird autist so stop pretending, if you are in a situation where something like that can occur then you have no clue what it's like to be alone. It's like how women are biologically incapable of being anything but normies. Unless you have a real diagnosis of a psychiatrist then fuck off.

>I get way too nervous around large groups. Just got out of a three hour class today, in fact, and I didn't say a single word.
Hmm. I understand that. I always made sure to talk to as many people as possible on the first day of school/work/whatever, because my logic was that they're as new as I was, and I knew that I'd be too shy any other day.
But, in retrospect, everyone I have a relationship with now said I was actually super weird- hahahaha.
I guess the first step is always hard.
What I did, or do, I suppose, is I wait until a group breaks apart, and go after single people.
Like, no matter the group, there's always going to be a moment where someone is just, sitting there, staring out a window by themselves.
If you want to initiate a convo, you have 2 choices.
1. on topic (ie "what are you reading?")
2. off topic (ie "if you could be any animal, what animal would you be?")

Being an introvert is fine, but if you regret it, then maybe it's not so healthy? Introverts don't need a lot of human interactions, or need a lot less, but if you're thinking "I really missed out" then are you sure that's what you want?

Also, I don't know what you want. Like, everyone says "what are books like this?" But do you want books that support your ideas of introvertism? Do you want a book to help you be less introvert, or a book that makes you feel more introvert, so you don't have to feel bad about the voice that says "maybe you should have been less introvert?" Because those are all very different books.

Ive eaten an Iranians bushy vag and fingered a skinny white weeb, but am still a virgin. B-but Im not a normie r-right?

He's right you larping normie. If you've had girlfriends before (not one, but multiple) then you're no autist. You can keep calling yourself one but you're simply not. You can get mad at this and post something sarcastic and dismissive in response to it but it's still going to be true regardless.

>Because those are all very different books.
All of the above desu, Steppenwolf could have been perfect but I'm to much of a pretentious cunt to get past what I probably should have read at 18. Steppenwolf but written by Mann, Broch or Musil would have been incredible

>solitary autists

Yes you're normie, embrace and don't pretend to be anything other than what you are. I'm just tired of people who are capable of functioning in the neurotypical world but don't for various reasons that can be solved like social anxiety talk about how much of an "autist" they are, when REAL autists are physically incapable of functioning no matter how much we try. Why do you think the unemployment rate of autistic is almost 90% in the US? It's sure isn't because we aren't trying hard enough. We were simply born in this world to suffer and the one thing that most people say makes up how terrible the world is, social and romantic relationships, we are physically excluded from participating in.

ey ma nigga
I got the hardcover

check out ligotti.

the thing is that im attractive so my weirdness comes off differently than a cystic acne ridden jawlet chinlet robot. Also im fit and got a full-ride scholarship to berklee for jazz guitar. I do feel for you tho if thats a consolation

>Yes you're normie, embrace and don't pretend to be anything other than what you are.

This. And being a legit autist isn't anything cool or enviable btw. I don't know why you want to romanticize this shit and go out of your way to still claim it. It's pretty fuckin lame desu desu.

Autists and introverts are natural allies. Don't let loud, stupid normies divide us.

THEY WILL NOT DIVIDE US

I would give anything to stop being autistic. I'm a fucking psychopath. Autistic people are over-represented among serial killers. I can relate to Adam Lanza more then anyone else in life. I just wanted to take out my rage and violence and psychic pain thats been building up ever since I gained self consciousness as a child like a caged animal and release it onto the world, I can only imagine how liberating it would be. TO THE FBI READING THIS POST THIS IS JUST A METAPHOR AND A WORK OF FICTION, I DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE OR ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.

Boo.
Adapt or die. Adapt doesn't mean abandoning who you are, it just means modifying who you are enough that you get what you want.

hey man, i'm a high functioning reclusive autist that has been thrown desperately in the deep end of the world, and I wrote a book that doesn't involve a single character that mirrors my own life whatsoever but instead reflects my thoughts on other characters that I've met in my life. Would you like to read my book?

If you really feel like this, you should seek psychiatric help. Not because you're a danger, but because you're the one suffering. Talking to someone, having a professional opinion, and being given the options to work through those feelings might sound like normie bullshit, but it really does help.

I've been in psychiatry my entire life, there is no escape. Autistic people are neurologically broken. Fuck the entire "neurodiversity" movement, there are 3 options available, I either want to be cured, I want to be legally euthanized by the government, or I will turn into a jihadi suicide bomber for autistic rights. (JUST A JOKE NOT SERIOUS)

no, user, it's easy to fix. just rewind to when you were an infant and expose yourself to hours of contrapuntal music.

Hmm. That's harder. I understand. I've got BPD and ADHD and Depression and medication... doesn't really work for me. At best, it works for a couple months and then stops working, so I know your pain to some degree. Life is pain.
Lately, I've been drinking WAY too much and refusing to leave the house. Haven't been able to clean the house either. Just... all around bad.
But... there are things you can try to make life easier. I don't know what you've been told, of course, but there are few things you can try.
>1. be optimistic
It feels stupid, and it's hard, but... it's easier to try when life doesn't feel like a tar pit.
>2. "you have to be willing to get happy about nothing"- Andy Warhol
I have this hanging over my bed, and I'm pretty sure it's saved my life. It's kinda like being optimistic, but... smaller. Enjoying the fact that you don't have to worry about freezing to death in winter, like people did 70 years ago (dead serious, I've really fucking milked that idea) or smelling something nice, or thinking about how fucking GREAT it's going to be when you eat that cookie at the end of the day.
>3. Skillz
Skillz are physical stimuli you use to distract yourself from bad thoughts. Eating chilli, smelling ammonia, holding an ice pack against your arm- we're taught this to help with BPD, but honestly, I think it's pretty good in general.

But, to be honest, life for people with mental illnesses is hard. The truth is, we'll probably never get better. We'll just spend the rest our lives COPING, and it's... awful. It's a bad thought. If you don't want to do it, I understand, but if you try real hard, eventually there'll be enough things you enjoy, that dealing with it will be worth it.

Fanged Noumena
A Gentle Introduction to Unqualified Reservations
and
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

you're welcome
:)

This sounds beautiful.

Where’s your Teddy Bear?

Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus

Ligotti is an actual recluse

Yes

Can confirm this is a good book. I'm about 200 pages into it.

Also this chart has some relevant recs.

well i certainly didn't expect that.

it's free online, on iBooks, B&N, really every platform except Amazon, where it's $0.99, titled The Gods Wait by John von Dorf. Alternatively, if you want to give me your email, i can just send you the manuscript.

Thank you so much and i hope it doesn't disappoint should you get through the whole thing

Your problem is buying this Veeky Forums autism meme. Autistic this, autistic that. You're just a normal person. Before the internet, people like you may have considered themselves lonely and unpopular, but not autistic degenerate abnormals.