My everythingstential crisis is particularly intense this morning

OP here, this looks like typical soygoy cuck shit. "Dude, who cares if I'm being tortured in jail, I always have the present moment!" This is as bad as stoicism

White Noise by Don Delilo

So what are your problem? What is your everythingstential crisis? What does it make you think? How does it make you feel? How do you wish things were? What could you possibly want?

>aged 27
>living in London
>ugly beta loser autist male with no friends or social life for 9 years and no female attention ever, including time at university
>became the ugly loser nobody talks to after one day at my current job
>failed over 30 interview processes for great jobs due to ugliness and lack of normieness or extroversion
>never been to pub, club, party, or any social experience since school
>bitter about being a complete social failure with a wasted youth while Chads, Staceys, and normies get everything handed to them and judged solely on normieness
>work in zero effort public sector job with lots of free time (but felt like a cucked prisoner when I stayed at the office 9 to 5)
>all hobbies feel like they turn in to work (reading books becomes reading boring classics; learning programming becomes learning functional masturbation) i.e., everything is advertising you to join the bottom of a hierarchy and telling you to worship the top and pay your dues
>don't have the initiative to program something in my own time or try anything entrepreneurial or do anything that takes initiative - feel like an obedient student who was trained in to being a worker drone who needs to follow a set path
>main hobby is walking around central London, drinking coffee, feeling sad about life, hoping I will spontaneously feel like my 20s haven't been wasted because I "just went outside"
>can't bear going full hermit autist, obviously can't do anything normies do
>feel under constant pressure to read lots of boring books, learn lots of boring shit, and so on
>waste shitloads of time on internet
>spent many months after university working part time menial jobs and wasting all my free time on the internet and genuinely see my time back then as a near zombie stuck in a loop
>fully grasp the arbitrariness of all philosophical axioms - as a result I see proselytisers as either fucking ignorant or dishonest

I read this and liked it but when I went back to it I didn't like it at all. The Atlantic article sums up my current opinion of it

is this pasta?

Yes but I wrote it to sum up my current condition and there's no no point rewriting shit

What is the thing you are most upset about? What would it take for things to be ok?

To not feel like I have to read lots of boring books (both boring fiction and trivial or bullshit philosophy and boring non - fiction) or learn stuff I'm not interested in (just all sorts of shit like this computer science book I'm going through and also lots of other topics I feel pressured to learn ) or listen to obviously dumb shit (current events, non fiction etc)- in summary, to have the balls to use my bullshit detector.

To magically stop having an ugly face

I'm pretty sure you being here is not going to fix anything.

>he thinks life is difficult or arbitrary
once you realize your own agency all is liberating and true

Der Einzige und sein Eigentum
Michael Kohlhaas

85% of males are ugly. Do you lack an eye and have a crooked mouth? If not, ugliness is not a reasonable excuse.

Read Siddartha.

Then drink a coffee in a pub.

Then drink a coffee and read the paper.

Then drink a coffee, pretend to read the paper and listen to other people's conversations.

Then make a comment about current events to the 50 year-old at your job

Then discuss current events with chad.

Then become chad.

try to date a fat ugly girl

Stop caring that you have to read those books, b8thread

>le you can only be barred from being a chad if you're malformed or maimed
you probably don't have a subhuman suborbital rim and an underdeveloped maxilla like me and OP does you pseud, fuck off with your platitudes

Alright, forget the last line. But next time you are out on the street look at other men. Most will be ugly, bald, short or fat, and yet, they'll have a gf or a wife. Follow my advice, dude.

>tfw ugly but not ugly enough to excuse my total failure as a human being
feels bad man

Bump

Seems like you don't have the initiative to do anything at all. You'll keep bitching about your life until you're dead.

1. Books are probably too long to help you right now: read Montaigne's essays
2. Stop worrying about normies who know nothing of their folly.

This user gets it. This is was fucking Socrates' most important lesson. All of the beauty not captured in your appearance is still attainable via your personality.

Ride the Tiger

>everythingstential crisis

why use this term?

what does that mean, in concrete terms?

a book

michel tournier - friday

and of course everthing by houellebecq