College Veeky Forums stories

>in philosophy class
>professor asks me what I think about camus the stranger
>forgot to read it for hw
>remember mc ride's mantra
>kick desk over
>tell him "life is fucking meaningless just do whatever crazy shit you want"
>class starts cheering and clapping
>professor gives me an A

>Camus in philosophy class

you sound like a facebook reddit normie who probably was into ponies and jojo because they were "in" at the time dude

yeah I don't know, shit's crazy
honestly too gripspilled to give a damn

>teacher mentions marijuana
"Not that that's something any of you would do"
>gives a wink and a smile
>entire class erupts in laughter
>guy in the back falls out of his chair while clutching his stomach from laughing so hard
>mexican dude who sits in the front right of the class, who calls everyone (even the teacher) "hombre", pulls out a bong
>"Hey Hombres. Let's hit this shit!"
>Teacher is running around the room hi fiving the perimeter of the class screaming "Not that that's something any of you would do" over and over at the top of his lungs while continuing to wink and smile as the class is still in a fit of hysteria
>people start lining up to hit the mexican's bong
>The girl in front of me starts playing the electric slide on her Iphone
>Students start standing up on their desks and begin to to dance the electric slide
>soon the room becomes a huge hotbox and the fire department arrives
>firemen cut down the classroom door with an axe and rush in
>"ayye lmao!!!"

>freshman intro to college lit.
>15 minute past class starting time, no prof
>We're sitting around, asking what the heck.
>Door to classroom gets kicked in.
>Guy runs in with twin .45 colts in each hand, firing at us.
>We dive for cover, screaming.
>I jump behind a fat chick, and cower.
>Shooting stops.
>We all look around, some people are crying.
>"They're just blanks!" prof says and laughs, then sits cross legged on a desk and starts reading The Gold Bug to us.

> A girl in my Intro to Phil thought Aristotle taught Napoleon.

but user, in a way did he not?

woah... deep

IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES

...

>My absolute face when

>in history class
>prof is going over medieval depiction of hell
>'this is where they'd put the murderers'
>'this is where they'd put the thieves'
>pauses
>'this is where they'd put the *ahem* loose women'
>i look around
>every single girl in my class is giggling
>exchanging sly looks with their friends
>mfw they really all are roasties aren't they

They still aren't going to fuck you

>talking about an account of someone visiting Emily Dickinson
>he says that she was weird, frail and she would "turn my point" for each of his criticisms of her poetry
>someone asks to clarify what "turn my point" means
>teacher explains that it could have meant she would deflect his criticisms against her informality and accept them as affirmations of her intent or her uniqueness
>guy in the back row bellows out, clearly finding this hilarious, says "she was womansplaining!"
>no one laughs, just kind of a dead silence for him and his joke to sit and reflect
his face when
>he says something like "uh, well sorry lol" and we continue on

...

What kind of literature would MC Ride read? I assume he's well versed in Crowley, Lovecraft, and Gnostic works

>go to stem school
>attend for three years without meeting anyone else who likes books other than ASOIAF trash

>excited to see someone in my class reading a book besides myself
>try and peep what it is
>this person's got a intelligent air, very brainy spectacles and haircut. she's pretty but that's beside the point
>get a closer look, see what she is reading
>1984
a woman reading 1984 in 2017 is the start of a funny joke

>be math major
>take ancient philosophy class for fun
>find it very enjoyable and interesting
>talking to the other students, it seems like I'm the only one who even does the reading
>everybody bitching that Aristotle is too hard
>some of these people are seniors
>realize anyone who would choose philosophy as a major probably doesn't deserve philosophy

most people go to school for a degree, to get a grade, they don't get pleasure out of it yet and maybe never will.

Tbqh I still haven't read it and I'm 20. Never got assigned it in high school, haven't felt like picking it up.
I do know one girl whose favorite book is Catch 22, but when she's not doing work with the rest of us 95% of her time is spent streaming Overwatch and shit.
The amount of people I know whose only interests outside of schoolwork are playing or watching other people play videogames or discussing the vapid drama of the people who they watch play videogames is incredibly fucking sad.

The book is not the problem. It just seems so predictable that the only book I'd see anybody reading in an English course full of people who don't read is YA books, Highschool classics (still classics, not devaluing them) and Harry Potter. But a woman reading 1984 in 2017, presumably instigated by the comparisons to American politics, it is like saying the only research this person can be bothered to do, within their designated major, is dictated by headlines. Sad!

But people are vapid. This isn't news.

I'm physics and had a great class last semester called European Intellectual History that went about the same way. Amazing professor with a fucking great selection of readings, but he wanted to have discussions instead of forcing us to take reading quizzes, so half of the class sat there silently every day and the other half raised their hands to read directly off of the wikipedia articles they had open on their laptops.
We had to "respond" to papers from the other people in class once and it was a shitshow. I still have access to them and if there weren't names attached I'd post them here. One of the options was analyzing Paolo and Francesca from the Divine Comedy and most of the class got no further than "this line has Christian symbolism which makes sense because Dante was a Catholic."

bad ending but decent overall

just black out the names user

>in medieval philosophy class
>professor is talking about Ockham's theory of supposition
>the topic of metaphors comes up
>a colleague asks if there were metaphors back at that time
>mfw

Actual true story.

>lying on the internet

it's interesting to consider though that metaphors are something that had to be invented at some point

not that it was an intelligent inquiry, but he probably was wondering if people would have called them metaphors then, or had an idea for the linguistic function of metaphor. Asked from that position, it's a question worthy of exploring.

I've never understood this idea of people watching video games. How boring. I passed a billboard advertising a Vidya competition and that tickets were on sale, curiosity got me and I checked the prices, they started at 100$! All that money to watch people play video games?!

What's not to get? Video games can be a form of competition just like sports

If you are versed with the mechanics of a game that has a competitive scene, watching people who are very good at it go up against each other can be engaging. But, there are a lot of games which have an air of complex, deep competitive potential that is mostly manufactured and sucks people in. Those kind of games are popular, but don't really have any serious depth to glean from their mechanics and competitive gameplay.

This is honestly what gets me. I find myself hating the idea of being a tryhard. All I want in life is passion and meaning and a general reason to live, yet there is some societal disgust inside me of anyone (including myself especially) who sincerely cares about anything. Is this the power of post-sincerity?

If Frederick Douglass didn't like slavery so much, why didn't he just leave?

-Asian girl in back of the class

It's hardly like sports. Yes hand eye etc. But top athletes in top physical form is endlessly more engaging and exciting than people sitting in chairs

it is you being an insecure pussy.

She's right

...

>hey user i heard you like books
>yeah do you
>i love to read! what are you reading?
>moby dick
>oh, i've never read him before. is he good?

>not going over to her
>not saying “ay 1984 in 2017 what is this math class ova here or somethin”

I'm an English major, not a STEM major. I don't know what these fuckn numbers mean!

Fuck off man, I'm too tired to argue with retards like you who intentionally try to piss me off

Is college really this shit?
I’m glad I joined the army, two different people in my platoon are reading Blood Meridian, one is reading Jung, another is reading storm of steel, one guy is in the middle of reading Les Mis in French, my analyst is reading American Psycho and a girl bought me The Recognitions as a gift.

I couldn’t imagine being surrounded by people that think 1984 is the pinnacle of books.

>intro to philosophy
>discussing free will
>have to pair up and critique each other's papers
>my partner's essay centers around drug addiction
>spells "addict" as "attic" throughout the entire paper
>don't correct him on it
>turns the paper in like that
>mfw

College is great. I love it, it's just funny and ironic like this sometimes, but it feels alive. Enlisting in armed service is only for brainlets or people who want to coast through life.

Do you know where you are?

...

But he did

I've never really met a Veeky Forums girl like I wanted, or really any Veeky Forums people at all, but college is definitely still pretty fun.

typical pilledfag

sounds like every rape apologist ever
>if you didn't consent, why not just scream for your life and run out of the house?

>Tfw going to uni then enlisting in the military intelligence
>Comfy analyst/strategist job 90k a year
>Get to read all I want

>tfw 1,500 word paper due tomorrow

your query is analogous to attending a NAMBLA meeting and asking, are all men pederasts? consider where you are right now

. . . but women are just retarded and can''t run away or say no and then claim it's rape

the consequences of refusing a man include the man's anger, violence, abandonment, ostracization efforts, etc.

There's some chad guy in my dorm who's actually super socially aware and well-read. The fact that he's built as fuck and has chad roommates keeps me from approaching

Speaking of ostracization, does anyone else think we should bring that back? It sounded pretty lit when I was reading about Athens.

Do it man, just do it. Make friends, life is good when you aren't afraid to try and not be lonely. A literate chad? wtf, gotta check it out.

>Forgot to do 2000 wordphilosophy paper the day it was due
>Spent three hours bullshiting myself through it in the library before handing in rough draft
>Got a B+ weeks later

Honestly no idea how I did it, retard strength right thurr

also chads are typically pretty nice guys if you ever actually talk to them

I'm just gonna pull an all-nighter, take a nap at 8 or so, do some light proofreading when I wake up and turn it in.

Passing class is easy. It just takes work. You don't need to write well to get anywhere in academia.

Kek

you should be proud of this

People using their mind to formulate strategies on the spot and having pin point precision to excicute them is way more entertaining then some meat heads hitting a puck with a stick around some ice.

See how this works? People have opinions, sports / entertainment isn't objective you ducking pseud. Leave Veeky Forums, why are you still reading ? BE GONE !

Are you a fatass by any chance? Or were you bullied in high school?

...

nah people are best off sticking with those within their social group, and only talking to new people if it's in a party or club environment. Definitely not saying that one can't make new friends any other way, but seeking out friendships with random people is pretty autistic imo. friendships should form naturally, if at all.

>reading Paradise Lost
>professor spends a little bit of time on Satan in the early books, not much after book 2.
>goes on to talk about Eve extensively every other class until we're done with it
>"I'm not trying to say this is a sneaky feminist poem, it's not."

>trying to talk-down someone from approaching people they are interested in
>talking-down someone from trying to be friendly and interested in getting to know people
no. this is too obtuse to actually present as serious advice.

>life is good when you aren't afraid to try and not be lonely.
>"no"
the gayest shit I've ever heard

Go to bed then pussy boy

t. edgelord obsessed with Satan and unable to comprehend the fascinating nature of Eve's character in PL

>Maaaaaaaahhhhhm! They're making fun of video games on Veeky Forums again!

I have to write a 3 page paper on All The King's Men by 11 AM. What do I do??

If it's double spaced that shouldn't be a problem, just start working.

stop bitching and just do it. 3 pages is little league tier.

I am tackling my most ambitious paper yet, and it is due on Friday! I have 5 pages, 3-5 to go while including segments of assigned texts. I can do it, but woof, it looks like a task when I picture it.

>3 page paper
oh no..!! three pages

>seeking out friendship is autistic
user, I...I don't even know what to say

okay, but the consequences of not trying, or in any way failing, to escape the situation is rape. Are you saying that rape isn't really that bad?

this post scares me

devilish

This is accurate. What the fuck is "societal disgust".

I did a STEM degree so I can't speak to lib arts but yes it is shit. Almost everyone is either a whiny, moronic parasite or an autist, sometimes both. I met probably around ten good, interesting people in the 5 years I went to school. But even among them none of them read.

> tfw i'm an user who never got over ponies

10/10, screencapped for future reference

Who is your pic of

top kek

No it isn't. Anyone who knows his Greek or Latin knows metaphor is an ancient rhetorical term.

I think that's Agatha

>I've never understood this idea of people watching chess. How boring. I passed a billboard advertising a Chess competition and that tickets were on sale, curiosity got me and I checked the prices, they started at 100$! All that money to watch some smart twats play chess?!

>Study EE in Europe
>There's this one asian student that reads a pocket-sized new testament filled with trimmed sticker bookmarks and reads ebooks avidly in his tablet most of the time outside of the class.
Interesting dude but he seems to be really detached with the environment that i find it almost impossible to even start an interaction with him.

I have similar feelings about the Bongs watching their kicky-ball ‘sport’
Paying good money to watch grown men play a little gril’s game.
I guess just be thankful they don’t still trample each other to death or push Italians off of stadiums.

...

No shit.

"Sexual capital grows in one place to a huge mass in a single hand, because it has in another place been lost by many.... The battle of sexual competition is fought by cheapening of sexual commodities. Therefore, the larger sexual capitals beat the smaller. It will further be remembered that, with the development of the sexual capitalist mode of interaction, there is an increase in the minimum amount of individual sexual capital necessary to carry on a relationship under its normal conditions. The smaller sexual capitals, therefore, crowd into spheres of interaction which Modern Chaddery has only sporadically or incompletely got hold of. Here sexual competition rages.... It always ends in the ruin of many small sexual capitalists, whose sexual capitals partly pass into the hands of their conquerors, partly vanish.

>t. Butthurt faggot that never got picked for football games in school yard

>Enlisting in armed service is only for brainlets
>being this much of a fucking pseud