Is How to Win Friends and Influence People worth reading? my brother is taking the course and he wants me to read it

Is How to Win Friends and Influence People worth reading? my brother is taking the course and he wants me to read it.

I can tell from the title, no

I'm under the same impression

Any person who feels compelled to learn strategies for how to win friends and influence people is not a person I would want to be friends with nor be influenced by.

It's worth reading to understand and recognize the methods that drones who read this book use to try and manipulate people. It's supposed to be a negotiation book but it approaches social interactions from this paint-by-numbers approach, giving you a checklist of things to do whenever you meet someone new.

The tips that it gives are borderline insane, like simply changing the topic at random times. The class that goes along with it (that seems to be increasingly popular) is even worse. Listen to the tips they give with regards to introducing yourself. They tell you to have this weird, inhuman spacing between syllables. This sounds alien to anyone who isn't familiar with the technique, and instantly recognizable to anyone who does, pretty much making it ineffective from all approaches.

At its core, it is essentially all stuff you should already know. Consider other people's interests and personality, make sure to be an active listener, show that you are at least interested in other people by doing things like remembering names and birthdays, etc. I can't imagine anyone getting into their 20s without figuring all this out through normal human interaction.

Not like you have a choice in the matter

Have you read the book?

I bet he hasn't, but I bet he's right

Worth it but don’t get in too deep and start using power poses and subscribing to HBR

Basically it espouses being emphatically nice to people and (perhaps more helpfully) avoiding petty conflicts. It's better to be liked than right, the Benjamin Franklin trick, they kind of shit. Worth a skim, it'll take 10 min

I have read it. I got it as a gift a couple years ago and it's pretty short. I also majored in business management so this guy gets brought up all the time.

It’s a good book desu I mean like someone said some stuff are obvious but some other shit Its worth learning again. Really helpful

no

read the recognitions instead
gaddis btfos carnegie

No, DALE, I do NOT consent!

it's a book for snake-oil salesmen

agree with this a lot

ive read the book and can confirm. it sandwiches all its advice in crap like "be sincere" when if you're reading the book you can't be in an honest, authentic way. the tips carry you over into being able to convincingly fake it

(that is, convincing unless you're talking with someone who knows what to look for)

honestly makes me sick to my stomach when i meet someone and realize they have read HTWFAIP, i know its going to be a shitty gesticulated choreographed convo

I read it a bit.
I always imagine two kinds of people reading it:
- charlatans
- autists
No offense to the autists, I know one. But it seems rather pointless for them to read these books, I think it pushes them into directions that won't work for them.

Why the fuck does this garbage get brought up almost every week, are you retards really that desperate?

this, and A Frolic of His Own

Just need a nice suit and a firm handshake and you can do anything.

eye contact and firm handshake

there, you've read the book! congrats user go make friends

>no one is allowed to read books on social skills

ok...

This is why you should read it and never tell anyone about it.
Women especially hate people who learn and struggle, they love innate attributes and don't like when people try to rise above their genes.

It's a book on how to be likeable. If you're socially awkward, its a good book to give you a game plan when walking into encounters with people you want to leave a good impression on.

Oh and to all the other anons, other peoples motivations for reading a book shouldn't deter you away from reading it, that's juvenile as fuck. Think for yourselves.

>Think for yourselves.
but that's too hard

I'm not a fan of long eye contact, at least up very close.

Bit too "common-sense" and not specific enough to go beyond that. Maybe if you don't understand people, and how social interaction works, then it may be useful. I would say treating life as a sociopathic capitalistic game of pointless monetary and social advance, is a toxic and dissatisfying mentality to hold. This is the approach the book takes.

Mate, you will be surprised.
We have retards coming here thinking that "cleam your room" is a philosophical discovery

Tempted to read it partially to see what the hype is about, partially to see if there's any "Oh shit" things I never noticed because tism, and so I can see what other people are trying to do to me more easily.

As an aside, how do you guys feel about Never Split the Difference- Chris Voss?

It's definitely worth reading. In it, you will find many strategies for emotionally manipulating your peers. It's a good way to arm yourself against other manipulators

Do you recommend Frolic regardless of How to Win Friends ... or does Gaddis reference it there as well?

bump

>I would say treating life as a sociopathic capitalistic game of pointless monetary and social advance, is a toxic and dissatisfying mentality to hold. This is the approach the book takes.
>pg.82 "you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."
>pg.129-130 "I was waiting in line to register a letter in the post office at thirty-third street and eighth Avenue in New York. I noticed that the clerk appeared to be bored with the job --- weighing envelopes, handing out stamps, making change, issuing receipts --- the same monotonous grind year after year...
>TL;DR dude tells clerk he has nice hair
>...I told this story once in public and a man asked me afterwards: "what did you want to get out of him?" What was I trying to get out of him!!!
>If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can't radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return --- If our souls are no bigger than sour crab Apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve."

This book is worth reading and isn't just a guide for "capitalistic sociopaths". It just shows facts on how people behave. What you do with the info is up to you. During some parts, however, this book is biased and seems to say that if you turn the other cheek you'll get what you want.

That's one example in a sea of other examples of trying to con people into thinking you're interested in them so you can get a job or something.

Regardless, I don't think it takes several hundred pages to learn "be nice to people."

>giving sincere, valid compliments to strangers with no ulterior motive will help you con people into gibs.
maybe some people just want to be genuinely good and make life a more positive experience?

Your brother is trying to gauge his ability to do what he believes the book is teaching him to do. You have a wonderful opportunity to deny him satisfaction, and to explain to him that the very reason for your denial is to demonstrate to him that he is reading garbage that doesn't work - not on you, at least.

Why do you need a book to tell you to say nice things to people?