"Yes, it's true! I have committed this evil Crime and Punishment will soon await me," said Raskolnikov

>"Yes, it's true! I have committed this evil Crime and Punishment will soon await me," said Raskolnikov.

Really, Dostoyevsky?

What a faggot

>...and, alas, after all these perambulations, peregrinations, and discombobulations, all I have to show from it is these notes from the underground...

actually not that bad to be honest desu senpai

>it was truly an infinite jest

>Actually, don't call me Ishmael, call me Moby Dick or the Whale.
This was my last time reading anglo trash.

>Everything I know, I know because of War and Peace.

>...and that is why My Struggle was caused by the jews!
oh come on now

>it all happened because of pride and prejudice

>he was in the end just the stranger

>Oedipa settled back, to await the crying of lot 49.

>A novel is a mirror walking along a main road of the red and the black

Made me laugh aloud

>and that's how to kill a mockingbird

breddy gud

>You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel,
If on a winter's night a traveler

This one is actually fucking true.
Pynchon knew this would happen. That's why that book is a mess. It's not a novel or a short story, it's an excuse to make a joke of 200 pages.

Also:
>All was well in the end. They weren't teenagers anymore, but they could always harken back with a smile on their faces thinking about the adventures and mysteries that they lived on Thomas Mann's Magic Mountain.

>after a few hits of the doobie, he finally realized--he was, without a doubt, a stoner.

can you explain why this is bad?

>he was never quite the same after a visit from the goon squad

>This is not an exit - I truly have become an American Psycho™.

how many of these are fake?

>She was called Anna Karenina
Really, Tolstoy?

"Now this is what the ancients have meant when they have wanted to construct the perfect The Republic © "

Come ON, Plato...

>"Well", he whispered to Penelope, "this certainly was one hell of an odyssey, wasn't it?". He chuckled gently, kissed her on the cheek, and closed the door behind him.
I guess you could get away with this at the time.

>Kolya cried once more rapturously, and once more the boys took up his exclamation: "Hurrah for Brothers Karamazov!"

really??

None

At least that's better than
>Maybe the real Brothers Karamazov were the friends we made along the way

>One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had undergone a monstrous verminous Metamorphosis
what a hack

...

>Full circle. A new terror born in death, a new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever. I am legend.
LOL what will he do next?

Really activates my almonds

>It was truly an infinite jest of gravity's rainbows, monsieur ... a good gatsby, no, a great gatsby ... an odyssey of the crying of lot 49, the story of how to kill a mockingbird ... please give me approval i am so funny haha ... haha like I guess that's truly the Brothers Karamazov ™ ® ℠ © !!! and that's the story of how i met your le mother!

Veeky Forums you fucking hack

wanna try that again?

>I feel much like the great hero Ulysses

Wow, subtle Joyce.

>the daughter ran to hug him while screaming "Bel Ami! Bel Ami!"

Why did we like Maupassant again?

>Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of Infinite Jest
Really, Wallace?

>... In a strange land

>the comedy? It was divine.

Oh for crying out loud Dante.

>The man and the boy walked along the side of The Road
Bravo Cormac

>There never was a tale of less kek
>Than Romeo and his Juliet

oh fuck me

>He thought it was the year 1984

>alas, after all these wanderings beyond the black Matachin Tower I called home for so long, beyond the sprawling city of Nessus, beyond its outer wall and even beyond crumbling Thrax, I, Severian, have finally become The Book of the New Sun: noun of the noun

>The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed somber under an overcast sky -- seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness

C'mon Josef. . .

>beyond the shape of the mountains that spear the firmament, therein lies Blood Meridian or the Evening Redness in the West

Really Cormac?

The Tragedy of Julius Caesar is that his salad dressing is lousy.

>I was a Flower of the mountain you when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red you and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again you and then he asked me would I you to say you my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him you and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume you and his heart was going like mad and you I said youllsses

Fuckin lol

>I am The Master and Margarita is my preferrred drink.

Stopped reading right there

good attempt

Jej

>now we are truly The Picture of Dorian Gray
really, Wilde?

>At the funeral, I realized I'll never meet another man quite like him... nobody could match up to the charm and wit of The Great Gatsby

Come on, Fitzgerald

>It was the best of times, it was Linear Algebra and Matrix Analysis for Statistics
What the H?

>On the bridge lies the dead man, For Whom the Bell Tolls.
Hemingway was always unbearably droll

:)

>Note: from underground
Really Dostoyevsky?

>We were like brothers, Karamazov!
geez, Fyodor

>[...], thus spoke Zarathustra.
Yes, very poetic, Neetchee

...

>Just a moment, I've almost finished if on a winter's night a traveler by Italo Calvino
Fuck sake Calvino

>As Smeagol sank into the gaping mouth of Mount Doom, he shouted with joy "I've finally become The Lord of the Rings™ again, Precious!"
Tolkien was a hack.

>It truly was, a storm of steel.

>say cheese!
>and that was the Portrait of The Artist as a Young Man...

>it's an excuse to make a joke of 200 pages
And that's why I love it

>After a lecture on cosmology and the structure of the solar system,William Jameswas accosted by a little old lady.
>"Your theory that the sun is the centre of the solar system, and the earth is a ball which rotates around it has a very convincing ring to it, Mr. James, but it's wrong. I've got a better theory," said the little old lady.
>"And what is that, madam?" Inquired James politely.
>"That we live on a crust of earth which is on the back of a giant turtle,"
>Not wishing to demolish this absurd little theory by bringing to bear the masses of scientific evidence he had at his command, James decided to gently dissuade his opponent by making her see some of the inadequacies of her position.
>"If your theory is correct, madam," he asked, "what does this turtle stand on?"
>"You're a very clever man, Mr. James, and that's a very good question," replied the little old lady, "but I have an answer to it. And it is this: The first turtle stands on the back of a second, far larger, turtle, who stands directly under him."
>"But what does this second turtle stand on?" persisted James patiently.
>To this the little old lady crowed triumphantly. "It's no use, Mr. James – it's Turtles All The Way Down."
I feel like Green kind of pulled it of there