Sits down next to you at a bar

>Sits down next to you at a bar
>Orders a Rum
>Drags his bloodstained hand through his hair
>Recieves Rum
>"Muchas Gracias"
>Uses an old worn copy of "War & Peace" as an coaster
>Stares blankly off into the distance
>Takes a sip of Rum and looks at you
>"Did you know that Cocaine and Family are the only two things worth writing about?"
What would you do?

Adam Sandler is looking pretty old these days.

You turdlet, that's Peter Falk, a.k.a. Columbo, a.k.a. the Bumbling Detective Himself

You've got it all wrong. That's Hagred, and he's been working on his summer bod

Conocí a tu hijo la otra vez, muy simpático el gordo

What was the significance of "3047"?

Pablo faked his death.

Your an wizard, Harry!

Beat him to death with a copy of Mein Kampf

>Sits down next to you at a bar
>Orders a beer
>Awkwardly tries to not look at you, then awkwardly looks at the barmaids breasts
>Receives beer
>Near inaudibly: "Th-thank you."
>Uses his boyhood hardback 'Great Expectations' as an coaster
>Stares blankly into the darkness
>Takes a sip of beer and looks at you
>"Did you know loneliness and pussy are the only two things worth writing about?"

>Pablo faked his death.
yeah, so did I. Big deal

The difference is that people cared about his'

harsh

Sorry, user. I'm just having a hard day.
I didn't mean to hurt you and thought if I made a cheap joke at your expense, it'd make me feel better about my own shortcomings as an individual. Turns out it doesn't work and only pushes people away from you.
Please forgive me, user. I love you.

It's okay user, everyone has bad days. Just remember that having a bad day doesn't mean you're a bad person, and recognizing negative behaviors is a very positive thing, and shows personal growth. I'm sure you're a good guy, and I hope you feel better soon. Be gentle with yourself.
There's nothing to forgive, user. I love you too.

Thank you, user. Your kindness is very comforting and inspiring. I hope I can mature from this experience and become more sensitive not only about how others feel around me, but also about what I feel about myself.
Your support means a lot to me. I hope one day I can become as you are and help people with just a few words of compassion.
Until we meet again, my friend.

I'd like to thank you too, user. I was moved by the effort you made to apologize to me, and I understand. We all have to work to be better people, increments and instances at a time. The fact that you were willing to take that first step, reminded me to try harder myself.
I believe in you user, and someday, I'm sure we'll cross paths again, each of us as happier and better versions of ourselves.
Thank you again, user, and I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors.

>sits next to you at a bar
>orders red wine and a platter of charcuterie
>wipes tobacco-stained hand on his peeling scalp
>receives wine and cured meat
>mumbles incoherently in response
>uses an old worn copy of "The Call of Cthulhu" as a coaster
>sneers at a nearby 13 year old
>stubs out his cigarette on some salami and makes a weird French humming noise
>"did you know that masturbation and solitude are the only two things worth writing about, user?"

Nah dude, you fake your own life

oh hell yeah

>"psssst pablo"
>"pssssst"
>"plata y plomo XD"

>mfw I want this to be me

Would they allow you to be that close to a 13 year old?

>tfw my girlfriend hasn't turned 18 yet

Same, but I'm only two years older. I hope you're not doing anything illegal user.