Oh wow, "ludwig wittgenstein's tractatus logico philosophicus", sounds like a hard book! You must be very smart

>oh wow, "ludwig wittgenstein's tractatus logico philosophicus", sounds like a hard book! You must be very smart

>oh wow "what an original and interesting thread" go back to r9k

I am genuinely smart, but it's not OK to say so on the internet nowadays, so don't tell anyone please

I want you to perform the transaction now

Yeah, and you know what they say about guys with big brains: they have big dicks.

“You’re getting better at your job. You managed not to insult me this time.”

>... that will be 34 dollars 99 cents

Are you a prostitute?

I saw Thomas Pynchon at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

A husband and wife are hard-up financially one Christmas and so the husband hesitantly agrees to the wife's proposal that she briefly sell her body for sex. She arrives home late one night stinking of aftershave and gets into bed beside him.
"So," says the husband, "how much did you make?"
"Two hundred dollars and fifty cents," his wife replies.
"Fifty cents!" the husband shouts. "Who the hell gave you fifty cents?"
"All of them," his wife replies.

stop posting your r9k harlots here

Unexpectedly chuckled

kek

To be honest. I've been here a day and it seems like guys are actually very below average.
You cover it up with slick language but everything you say is straight up moronic bullshit that i don't believe even you think is true, and none of you even attempt to back your arguments up with any sort of substance, you just make assertions at each other over and over again.

W-why are you making fun of me?

i like how ciara from r9k is the default image for these kinds of posts

They sell that at Target?

Ciara really is beautiful.

Not really, that's why she works well. She is just about ugly enough that she looks like someone that you would run across in a Target and flirt with an autistic user of an white-supremacist anime forum

She pronounced it perfectly and didn't stammer or use baby syllables, so I assume she's being a little smartass. I get triggered, stuff my wallet back into my jacket, and march right up to the service desk to demand a manager.

>the absolute state of amerimutt standards

I'm British actually, and I believe Ciara is part-Irish. She is my ideal girl, partly because she resembles the female version of myself. I would marry her right this second if she contacted me and I would protect, entertain, seduce, support and love her for her entire life as best I could.

>partly because she resembles the female version of myself.

That's because she looks like a man

you see my dear, you are mistaken- i am, in fact, very stupid

I would like to complete the transaction now.

Yes I like tractors

oroe
orego
oregano-
OREGANOLIIIIIIIIIIII

lol, kys faggot, can't youinto logic? if i were smart, I wouldnt need that book. lol, fuckin hobo

>mfw im reading the catcher in the rye and thought this was an excerpt i havent read yet

This happened to me once when I bought Moby Dick. No joke.

>oh wow. that's a really big book. you must be super smart

I understood this reference.

>Ummm...yeah

>Been here a day
Try r/ books faggot

Do not try /r/books. They recommended ready player one to me and i bought it and I'm still mad about it two years later.

You only have yourself to blame

I totally get the appeal of Ciara. It's like she's the tangible form of all the vague, abstract girls who have populated my imagination while listening to Beat Happening, Yo La Tengo etc and daydreaming about being an awkward, shy but studious guy living in the suburbs of a large town or minor city, meeting a cute plaid-wearing girl like Ciara to go cycling with or just to walk through the suburbs with on a summer's night talking and trying not to reveal how much you like her. There is something about her which transcends mere appearance and baseline feminine allure, something in her eyes which communicates her depth to you or at least the potential for depth and maybe even her yearning to plumb your depths while also wanting you to hold her hand and help her plumb her own, metaphorically speaking. The perfect starter-wife. The ideal young mother to arrive home from your office job - formal clothing - and find cuddled up asleep on the sofa with your infant child as dinner cooks slowly in the oven in the clean kitchen. Her aesthetic adaptability is also highly appealing. One can easily imagine going through the "phases" of life:

>cute childhood playmates
You spend time doing goofy things you don't quite remember, best recalled via home videos where voices off-camera say "aww aren't cute" etc. But it's all innocent and inconsequential (or so they thought!). One time you accidentally wander from your home together without realizing how bad that is. Your parents find you strolling back together and pick you up to separate you and say (to frighten you) that they called the police, helicopters etc.


>tomboy and shy-boy buddies
You start listening to RHCP and she gets way into Paramore and you speak together at school sometimes when your friend groups aren't around. She's not being noticed by the guys at school which confuses you as you think she's turned into a real cute girl, exactly your type. But you're too embarrassed to say that and she has her nerdy friends and after-school activities etc and you're sort of drifting and becoming invisible. One summer her parents come over for a barbecue and she comes too in jeans and her hair in a ponytail and you walk down along the creek together and sit there talking about your future in mutually pessimistic tones.

Pocket

Sand

>Every neophyte is slightly embarrassed about being a neophyte.
>People getting into philosophy will feel bashful buying their first phil books
>then they will get over it
>and not be hung up on the ego
>and life will go on
>and this thread is stupid

>none of you even attempt to back your arguments up with any sort of substance
>you just make assertions at each other over and over again.
we don't believe in formal education

I’ve seen this pasta on mu b4

is she that girl from the "date at mcdonalds" video people post around this site?

>emo-esque partners against da wurld! (during divorce or one or both set of parents)
Highschool becomes a nightmare. Everyone becomes so loud. People you thought you knew are suddenly representatives of subcultures you were never even aware of. Even Josh straightens his hair now and claims to get "hella turnt" at the weekends and there's a sort of collective rush to occupy the most powerful positions in the school social hierarchy and also a rush away from those who, like yourself, have no social value at all. While you become isolated and listen to The Smiths alone in your room crying and writing cringey lyrics and shout at your single mom she instead becomes a conspicuous emo and becomes popular in that subgroup which includes many alt-chads who you loathe and you hear about them all going to Warped Tour and getting drunk etc and you overhear her mom downstairs talking about how she's worried her daughter is going off the rails, perhaps because of the divorce and how she knows how it affected her son (you) and that it's a shame they're no longer close.


>conservative young studious teens (she volunteers at the animal shelter, you get a job and learn the value of money)
After your emo phase you start really focusing in school and become an unashamedly polite, studious if lonely and self-critical guy. You earn good grades. You become "that guy" who is pities for his presumed innocence and chastity. She has also developed the kind of selfless, kind person that makes a lot of girls envy her and a lot of girls despise her. She has maintained her friendships with the nerdy girls of her pre-emo phase and they often are seen studying during lunch breaks or preparing things for the charity fundraising events etc. She always says "hey" to you in the hallway but you always just mumble and sense that she's patronizing and belittling you, as if she were a decade older. But somehow this awkwardness and detachment from social strivings and the efforts made by others to fit in and appear cool, popular, awesome etc make you attractive to certain girls and somehow you become the kind of quiet, angsty kid who isn't just viewed as scary and pathetic. Some girls sense that you are somehow mysterious or that unlike the other nerdy quiet guys you are also "cute" or whatever. Ciara asks you one day when school ends early if you're walking home later. You say yeah and she asks if she can walk with you and you say sure if you want to. She ends up telling you about a certain semi-popular girl who likes you (to the dismay of the girl's friends) and you say you aren't attracted to her. She says "what!?" and insists you reveal what kind of girl you're attracted to. And you end up taking the long way home through some fields and you say no it's embarrassing and she says embarrassing why? and you say "because my ideal girl is a lot like you" and she goes quiet and is obviously shocked but seems pleased about it. You end up dating and you find a part-time job at UPS