Things you never say to the hipser girl working the cashier at your local used bookstore

So you started detransitioning? Congratulations!

Hey, I have been coming in here a bit lately and could not help but notice that you are the most stylish person I have ever seen behind a counter in a bookstore. My name is user and my phone really needs your number in it.

This
Anything that could even be remotely construed as ego inflation to someone like this is the most destructive thing you can do

hello

I want you to perform the transaction now

keep the change

i think horrible things all day long and if you slight me even a little you’re basically now meat to me and i wouldn’t help you if your life was endangered, also i hate YOUR FUCKING BANGS YOU BITCH

Can you recommend me books written by male authors on Feminism?

I think "I love Dick" is a clickbait title

>How 'bout that Lolita, huh? Golly I'd give anything to get me a piece of ass like that.

>I'm looking for Mein Kampf and the Kama Sutra do you have those?

lets fuck :)

What would you do if I told you I'm God and you're just in my imagination?

But if you are God then why do you fail to grasp everything around you?
I-is God incomplete?
I thought he was almighty and allknowing....

>can you help me get something in aisle 69?

If you were a guy what would your favourite book be?

NIGGA WHERES THE DELLILO

>Probly fight club lol XD XD XD

i like mousey girls wanna date me

Lol

are you a book because id love to dive into you for an entire afternoon

with my bepis, in your vagene

>Hey there you little short stack of griddle cakes, got any Proust?

Jesus Christ. The last sentence would make me visibly recoil in horror at being asked out at my job.

>>>>>IMPLYING

>whatcha think of Max Stirner?

Can I see your feet?

You know that you’re among an estrogeneration when people start crowdsourcing pick up lines.

Stephen King? lmao what a fucking brainlet kys walking pussy horsefucker whore

pls respond

ayyy lmao

>implying any of yous would be worthy of a conversation with her

>Hello.

It's the perfect setting because you'd have no escape.

>worthy
of course a frog poster would still subconsciously be putting that pussy on a pedestal even as you try to big note yourself

Because of the implications.

call me ishmael and I'll show you muh big dick

"Keep the change"
Is she working the cashier or working as a cashier? Because there are a few responses for either of these situations

you gay son

>worthy
lmao what makes a person "worthy" of a fucking conversation?

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you guys are mostly quite, bookish men. So, if, hypothetically, you worked in a bookstore, would you be opposed to a girl who liked classics etc. asking you out for coffee at work?
asking for a friend

NO not at all.
I would love to have an irl conversation with Anyone about good literature

SLOB ON MY KNOB
LIKE CORN ON A COB
I BREAK A BITCH
LIKE CHYNA DID ROB

>quite, bookish
FORYOU

So I should ask? I don't have any experience in this area, I'm pretty introverted.

Obviously not, because you would be cucking your friend, which is generally advised against unless you really hate them.

Kek

>First of all very cute trying to make it seem like you really are a girl but
Yeah totally ask, dude fall in love with you jsut for asking i bet.
But I am fairly certain guys who work the cashier at bookstores are gonna be as bad as girls who work the cashier at bookstores.
Meaning there is the likelier chance they don't care about classics.

My friend? What friend?

You said you were asking for a friend. Are you a liar?

No, he does read them. I'm friends with the owner of the bookstore (a lonely old gay guy I play backgammon with) and he hired this cashier specifically because he was well read.

>don't resist and I'll let you live

Are you a gal? If so, you probably have a lower chance of getting rejected. Guys like it when girls make the first move

So, my friend should ask?

Yes ask and you give us fucking updates.
That londonfag is way too boring now, we need some new exciting irl poster, and you could be jsut that!

>a lonely old gay guy I play backgammon with
This being your relation to the owner of a bookstore made me laugh.
Who dares, wins

>Are you a liar?
D:

i love you

>This being your relation to the owner of a bookstore made me laugh.
I have very few friends.

He's messing with you; you said 'asking for a friend' jokingly in the spoiler.

Just do it. You're a woman. All of your introversion apprehension is literally in your head. Society wants to see you with a partner. But society meets guys in the same situation with blank indifference. Which is harder to accept when you're an introvert. I'm not trying to turn this into any sort of unfairness contest. You probably have a lot of bullshit to deal with as a woman that men don't and will never really be able to fully understand, but in this specific scenario things are amazingly easy for you if you'd just initiate it.

Do they? I always thought men found it too...forward?

It's not that you have few friends, it's just that the relationship seems a bit contrived to me for some reason.
"Oh you know each other?"
"Oh yeah, he's the gay dude I play backgammon with"
lul

>LARP Girl is in here and thread becomes overly active
Typical neckbeards

That is literally our relationship. I write a bit formally, apologies.

Well you could also not, have literally nothing change, and be stuck with pent up emotions. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Yes, and that fact is humorous to me.

Obviously we're talking in generalizations here. Some guys will dig it, some won't. You won't gather the courage to ask him to coffee if you overthink everything. Just ask yourself if you would rather live a life fulled with 'oh wells' or 'what ifs'.

Thanks for the advice. I'll give it a shot. Coffee and Dostoevsky discussion (that's what he was reading last time I went in).

>acts like a try hard over something this uneventful just to show le wimmenz that u dun take no shit
If anyone sounds like the neckbeard here it's you.

>Dostoevsky discussion (that's what he was reading last time I went in).
fuck Id be so nervous

>Do you have a copy of one hundred year's of solitude with the Oprah's book club sticker still intact?

>keep the change you filthy animal

>Pretty cool books I'm buying, right? I know your heart jumped when I brought these bad boys up. Just between you and me, I spent the last hour picking the perfect three books to sum up my exquisite taste for you. That one NYRB book in the middle? That's my twelfth copy, but who's counting, right? Man, these are gonna look great covered in dust on my bookshelf. Actually, on second thought, can you hold on to these for me? I'll still pay of course. Reshelve them, throw them in the trash, whatever. I got what I came for. See you next month.

Anything normal

literally anything besides common courtesies regarding payment, have a nice day, etc. You bet she gets flirted with all the time by the pseud hipster types with the round glasses and cuffed pants

Holy shit I needed a good laugh thank (you)

Hey, if you're wondering, the grease on my face is from my fifth consecutive quarter pounder from the McDonalds next door. They're out of bog rolls and I said I'd do them a solid and get ass worthy stuff for 'em. How many copies of the Count of Monte Cristo do you have? Just bring over all of them, I still have more quarter pounders to get through.

jesus christ

>"Are you aware that the only reason I visit this laughable excuse of a business is so I can impotently gaze at you from afar?"

>"so what are you reading?"

Be small towny
Be in book store around Christmas a few years ago 10 minutes before closing on a Friday

>Do you have any Charles Dickens?
>Uh, I'm not sure. I think we may have some upstairs but we're about to close and--
>I just really want to read some Charles Dickens, I think I saw it up there--
>Well it's good to have an interest, uh, we're closing and idk if I can dig it out right now--
>That's fine. I've been here before. I can go find it real quick if you don't mind. I think I saw it there before actually
>Oh! Well okay! Yeah sure if you know where it is then sure! Ya know, just try to be quick because we're about to lock up..
>No problem. Should only be a few minutes.

Go upstairs. Pull copy of 'The Cricket on the Hearth: and Other Christmas Stories' from the shelf
>Th'weeeet.
Go downstairs.

>Found it!
>That'll be it?
>Yep
!MAKE THE TRANSACTION!
*gives me 54 cents in change*
>N-no that's alright, keep the change.
>*baffled and put-off, yet polite* No, that's fine you don't have to do that--
>As a donation *smiling insanely*
>No, no, we can't take that. Thank you so much though, I mean it's great to have an interest and all--
>You sure? *take my 54 cents back* Well, Merry Christmas.
>Merry Christmas, thanks for stopping by again.
>Thank you!

Return a few more times after. Her dad works there too. Have awkward interactions with him. Learn how to use Calibre and libgen. Profit. Never return.

jesus christ

The guy who wrote that fucking book probably stalks bookstores, waiting for some dunce like myself to loudly exclaim "I Love Dick" in my amusement at the title, and smiles to himself every time.

Thanks user

PROCEED. WITH. THE. TRANSACTION.

>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>NO
>DROP THE PHONE
>STOP CALLING THE POLICE
>CARRY ON WITH THE BUSINESS

Excuse me. Do you have a copy of Farnham's Freehold?