Get complimented by almost everybody in school when it comes to my writing

>get complimented by almost everybody in school when it comes to my writing
>know deep down that it's wrong that I don't get critiqued harshly but constructively
>tfw all i write is shit since everybody here ignores it
>so bad and dull it ain't even worth anyone's attention
i wish i got critiqued more

post a paragraph and i'll give you serious critique

post some of your work and we will shit on it just for you, user

>he wants his writing to be trashed

you came to the write place my guy

You're handwriting in the 5th grade was shabby at best

>Doesn't even capitalize his ''I'' like a niggerian subhuman
>''I t-think I may have talent!''

Just another shitter with serious Dunning Kruger, lets move on sage + report

>You're

Here:
>Somewhen: in the wake of noon and ere the sun’s disappearance, she left home to visit a dear friend. She said farewell to her mother and sister; both situated in the frontroom, settled on couches: sisters festooned with briars, mothers hued similar to meres. False smiles etched on each visage during the parting, mother saying a phrase that fashioned consternation between her temples. With a fading tongue mother said hollow words: Ixsixan…

nigga I literally cant tell if youre trolling

Cant even even

Jesus Christ this is fucking garbage. So much unnessecsry shit and tried way too hard to sound smart.

>With a fading tongue mother said hollow words: Ixsixan…
did she say this using her oily smarts?

In the unlikely chance this is not trolling, read Politics and The English Language. It's by George Orwell. It gets to the root of the problems with this

Thank you all, feels good to be told its bad. I knew it was. It's a first draft after all. Anyway, going to try and revise it somehow... less verbosity.

write it how it comes naturally nigga
polish it later

it doesnt sound that pretentious you know, its just the ending that bothers me

Yeah, I guess. I'll cut it down some. I need to give more understanding since it doesn't make much sense to anyone outside of my hometown.
>it's in my native tongue
>tfw i've forgotten most of it

is your native language fuckin nahuatl

No, it's Tlingit.

>Somewhen:
fucking done.

I can see how this can impress a normal

good bait

Reads like it was fed through some kind of thesaurus script.

>mothers hued similar to meres.
My monocle fell while reading this preposterous line.

Thank you once again for the critiques. They help a lot. Although not constructive it helps remind to work harder on revising my work and relax on the vocab of a first draft. I strive for perfection much too often and thank you for reminding me of that vice and obstacle. I hope to overcome it someday.

Be glad you were ignored previously.

this is unnecessarily descriptive without really describing anything.

This bitch nailed it: But yeah, don't try to be so impressive. Honestly, adapting a method of just explaining things as simply as you possibly can may serve you better for now, then when the process starts to feel natural to you try spicing things up a little more.
You wouldn't ski the expert course as an amateur skier, because you'd probably bust your ass and get hurt. So, don't try to write like an expert if you are not one (yet)