Getting better at essays

In philosophy, I learned a very valuable lesson on essay writing. Don't base your paper around your thesis. Base it around your arguments. Allow me to explain:

Come up with a vague thesis first after some brainstorming. Write your arguments for this thesis, comparing and contrasting author's(s') viewpoints or the validity of the points you're trying to make on whatever topic it is you're writing on.

Doing so allows you to flesh out your ideas, and in the process, changes and refines your original thesis... you'll end up with a finalized thesis at the end, based on and supported by the arguments and conclusions you made in the former paragraphs (see: body of your paper).

Yours truly,

T. Straight A student

This method of essay composition is basically following the example of the man who fires six shots at his barn door then walks over and draws a circle round them and calls it the target. A fine strategy!

high-school teacher here who teaches ap lang and comp. Depending on the type of writing you're doing, it depends.

For literary analysis, I really tend to focus on how students are getting how literary devices are used in a text in order to forward an idea. That depends on two key areas: matching and understanding of devices. For instance, I've had students who say an author uses certain diction choices, but then goes on to talk about metaphor and simile used within a text, or I get students who match evidence and device right, but fail to understand how the device is used within the text. That's just literary analysis.

With argument I tend to teach the Toulmin method of argument, which is Intro (Intro consisting of a Hook+ central claim+grounds/background info+qualifiers), two body warrant paragraphs (extending your grounds and connecting them/making them relevant), a refutation paragraph (addressing two counter-arguments and rebuttals), and then a conclusion which does not restate what you've already written but instead has things like a call to action. I've found this to be the most successful and effective way to teach argumentative writing.

I also tend to grade on artfulness of writing i.e. is the student saying this in an interesting way while still using a coherent structure? A lot of times it's either/or. What I tend to recommend is following a formula for writing analysis or argument, and then jumping beyond the formula when you've gotten enough practice with positive/constructive feedback to become a more artful writer. It's like color theory. You have to understand rules of colors in art before you can break them.

read Montaigne, Dr. Johnson, Emerson, Nietzsche, Camus... Read Essayists and Prophets by Harold Bloom and git gud

I'm surprised that someone that there's someone here that has a job related to literature.
Anyway, what do you mean by artful, exactly? Is it word choice, or originality? Do you have some examples of artful writing from your students?

>tfw so much of a brainlet can't even write a 5 page paper using the intro/3 body/conclusion formula

Kill me PLEASE.

Why are you submitting handwritten essays in the current year?

Anyway the answer is structure. Your argument, references, quotes, etc. should all be complete before you start writing your first draft. Writing an essay is literally just putting a well-constructed argument into a readable form.

Credible advice up until the last bit

Elucidate your meaning.

Please format your answer using the aforementioned method. Failure to do so will result in me calling you a T. Faggot.

Why are you submitting essays at all in the current year?

Anyways the answer is twitter and typing BLACK LIVES MATTER repeatedly. If you really take the time to @ your prof, favourite his tweets and post intelligent/witty replies you will be in good shape when you submit your thesis tweet.

t. @4chanon69

Accusing your teacher of rape #metoo is also a good method.

I'm in AP lit and I have to say, it's so much more difficult than AP Lang.
I made a 4 on my AP Lang by sheerly following the algorithm of each type of essay (argument essays were my favorite as I learned the toulmin form quite quickly).

I only wish there was a structure I could follow for the AP lit essays.

Really make sure you watch your punctuation and come up with a creative title. Don’t forget, you’re a liberal arts student, so failure to placate to minorities will also result in a loss of marks.

John 11:35

Does this sort of crap really happen in American schools these days?

I was kinda hoping it was all exaggeration.

>Moving beyond a strict binary
Wtf does this even mean

It means you should home-school your children.

it's referring to the essay's acknowledgement of the legitimacy of nonbinary genders

Sorry I went to go eat dinner

>Anyway, what do you mean by artful, exactly? Is it word choice, or originality? Do you have some examples of artful writing from your students?
I don't feel comfortable sharing student work over the internet, but I tend to view artful writing as a multi-faceted category. It shows up on a lot of rubrics but its almost a bullshit-artist kind of category in that a lot of times it's like "did it grab me throughout the essay and make me think?" and I disagree with that. I tend to define artful writing as
1.) does it have dynamic and varied word choices with words appropriately used i.e. correctly?
2.) Does it go beyond the given parameters of the writing i.e. does it expand on the work of literature in a way that I didn't think about or for argument, does it build a complex, multi-angled argument with real-world applicability (and this is where I try to focus all of my writing prompts for argument on current social and historical issues so that they can hit this argument. It can't be too abstract nor too narrow).

But this is my own individual interpretation of what artful writing looks like. I encourage my students to build their vocabularies and keep building their analysis and argument more and more, and some of that stems from being able to think quickly because of situations like timed writing.

I use a formula for literary analysis, but then I ask students to go beyond it later in the year when they've gotten the hang of it.
INTRO:
a.)Title of work+author+"forwards ideas about"+higher concept or argument author talks about.
b.) SOAPSTone stuff i.e. what is the historical and social context of the piece, and who might have been the audience of the piece then and now. Rather than list it off, I try to have them synthesize it into a few sentences. For instance, I taught the things they carried last semester and for SOAPSTone, we focused a lot on the Vietnam war as social and historical context, and all the things like protest, the psychedelic movement, and the inability of civilians to understand the experience of the soldier in Vietnam.

Then for body paragraphs (I don't do conclusions with literary analysis btw, it's a total waste of time and I don't want to read a restatement of what I just read), I use a formula of:
Claim - "The author employs the use of"+two literary strategies+to forward x notion
Evidence - they quote shit from the text that prominently showcases the literary strategies. This is where I try to teach them how to a.) choose good evidence i.e. stuff that is ripe for analysis and b.) integrate evidence so it reads smoothly.
Interpretation - This is where students are kind of left on their own to word for me "how does this literary device function in this context" or "what is the literary device doing to forward their notion".

For example (and this is a shitty one off the top of my head), "The passage from the titular story in "The Things they Carried" uses cataloging to showcase both the literal and metaphorical burdens the soldiers carry, forwarding the notion that soldiers carry the societal and psychological burdens of a nation behind them. O'brien employs cataloging when he writes "The things they carried were largely determined by necessity. Among the necessities or near-necessities were P-38 can openers, pocket knives, heat tabs, wristwatches, dog tags, mosquito repellent, chewing gum, candy, cigarettes, salt tablets, packets of Kool-Aid, lighters, matches, sewing kits, Military Payment Certificates, C rations, and two or three canteens of water." The listing of various items indicates a literal and a psychological burden, insomuch that it shows the compounding nature of the weight on his back. The various items are termed as necessities or near-necessities in that they both contribute to the physical and mental survival of the soldier. Things like chewing gum, candy, and cigarettes may not seem like necessary for survival in war, but they provide psychological, emotional comfort in that they are artifacts of a previous, distant life, and constant reminders of the burden of survival with the goal of getting back home. Other items in the cataloging are necessities of the more immediate survival of the war.

this is a really crappy one off the top of my head, but kind of an example of what I look for in my students' work. it follows the body paragraph formula, but after a while, they can go beyond that.

This is where I find stuff like ap lit to be bullshit, because what I dislike about straight up teaching literature for literature's sake is that I often fail to see the point of it. Like, why is it important that students be exposed to the classics, other than the reason that they won't access it outside of class? This is where I tend to focus my teaching on skills-based stuff, and I use works of literature that lend themselves well to critical thinking, analytical writing, and argument. I don't like teaching AP lit or AP world lit because it runs counter-intuitive to my thought process of "what are the reading and writing skills they need to know for the future?" Why study American lit or brit lit? Why do we need to know what a bunch of brits wrote, or what qualities make it particularly british?

Kek

I know it was written hastily, but Id talk shit about the students flow of words. The reliance on words like carry and lack of feeling make for a dry piece. Perhaps this is structured best for info, hard to care enough to finish reading it tho.

not lit and not here to tutor you brainlet

yeah, and I could definitely come up with something better but I'm fucking tired after a long day of it and I'm in argumentative writing mode now for the next 4 weeks of teaching.

I presume this is high school English, but if you roughly follow jimpryor.net/teaching/guidelines/writing.html they can’t really fault you. Make sure you centre it on a central argument, and offer at least two competing perspectives.

e.g. on Harry Potter:
Question: Is Ron gay?
Thesis: He spends lots of time with sissy boys and the grill he ends up getting with is more masc than he is.
Antithesis: He never makes a move on Harry and seems to sincerely want to bone Hermione.
Conclusion: I find the arguments in favour of gay Ron better than the arguments against, so he must be gay.

Make sure to include a quote per point and build three sentences around each quote(introduce, give quote, explain what it means). That should be enough to fill up the time.

OP, high school English writing is much more formulaic and standardized than college writing. High School teachers are looking for the fundamentals and correct applications like the teacher earlier said. In college however, especially if you're taking honors, upper divisions, or professor lead (without TAs), the professors will want more than covering the basics. They want more organic thought, richer interpretations, and not relying on formulaic writing. It requires a lot more forethought and preparation than a high school class and that's where a lot of freshmen stumble when transitioning.

if OP is in college, and planning on majoring in humanities, all of this is correct, but it sometimes borders on the side of bullshit. I've grown disillusioned with the college English system, because everything now has to be informed by some strain of critical theory lest your credibility be destroyed. There's no room for truly original thought anymore.

Op here, can't find my essay after searching for a half hour ;(

I'm in highschool, senior English. At this point I'm just thinking my teacher is docking me points for being unable to read my hand writing.

do you have a previous essay on hand?

Found my last timed essay, it was over "Heart of Darkness" by Conrad.

Page 2

Page 3

This was his copy and paste response to the essay.

I really felt good on this one and it's been my lowest score yet...

Teacher from earlier here:
>that handwriting
yikes

Your teacher gives really shitty feedback here, but I think what you need to work on is drawing things into the abstract. A good chunk of your body paragraphs get into summary, and then a lot of your analysis is conjecture, in that you make a lot of claims but you don't touch on your evidence or interpret the evidence very much. Focus on picking apart your evidence - why does your evidence work the way it works? What is it showing about the deeper meanings and the social context of the text? Always ask yourself, "why did I pick this quote?" If you can't find a legitimately good reason, or you can't pick it apart, then it's bad evidence, and you find yourself merely giving base analyses. Evidence is there not just to back up your claims, but to illustrate how your claims are shown in the text.

I thought this was longer things, but now I’m assuming this is prep for a final writeup in an exam. The biggest thing with this style is to make sure you have a few clear topics(not necessarily paragraphs) and explain them at the start. Say “The x evokes y, to support z.”, “the symbolism of a, represents b. This ties into z.”, “The character of q experiences p, to demonstrate w”.
All I see in that intro is a really long thesis statement. If your line of argument is clear in the intro, then the marker will just be checking that you back it up later on. A sentence like “the differences between Marlow and Kurtz’s reactions to Africa demonstrate the constant presence of evil” in your introduction would make that second paragraph seem more coherent, as it primes the marker with what to expect.

Thank you, that's really helpful advice. So in summary: I need to work more on the argument and less on the evidence.

Not the teacher but don't be afraid to have different paragraph lengths and be more concise. From just looking at the layout I can tell your intro and conclusion is too long. As a reader, get to your point ASAP, argue that point using tips, and don't spend more words than you need to on a given point. So that means you may have a line of thought that doesn't fit neatly into one of your other paragraphs and is more concise but it's okay to have it stand on its own as long as it's fleshed out and fits into the paper overall. For your conclusion, lead into it and restate your thesis, there's no need to summarize the paper since it's a short essay and your reader just read it. Get to the point, but support it. Outlining helps greatly with that philosophy.

I think in the cycle of claim, evidence, and interpretation, you need to focus on interpretation, and double checking your evidence.

Yeah. Your evidence seem fine. If you fixed your intro and added a sentence explaining each quote’s relevance to the argument it’d help a bunch. Also work on your prose a bit, some of it comes off as forced. The easiest way to fix that is to read more. Try Orwell and Politics and The English Language in particular.
Which curriculum are you doing, if you don’t mind me asking?

>there's no need to summarize the paper since it's a short essay and your reader just read it.
this, I fucking hate reading when students restate what they just wrote. It's a waste of my time.

I like this analogy. Well said!

Too many run on sentences, it sounds like you're running out of breath if you read this out loud- and definitely DO read your essays out loud.

I'm in an Advanced placement literature class as a highschool senior.
So far we've read:
The Iliad
Oedipus Rex
Things fall apart
Invisible Man
Heart of Darkness
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Hamlet
1984
How to read literature like a professor
Origin (as an extra credit contemporary study)

ask sir Gawain oh wait he’s a fool hahaha ask the green knight he’s pretty and competent