Confess

This is Confession, gotta be true

No.

nah, I'm fairly decent looking and am otherwise a normal individual with a normal job, just high functioning autism (probably)

I don't take pics doing it so you have to take my word for it

people around me think im smart but im really not, I can do well on exams but when they ask me a question its 50:50

I used to shit in the shower drain when I was 4/5

I am addicted to hentai porn, and I wish it to stop.
I often want to read the backlog of books I have but I end up spending hours looking at the hentai shit. I want it to stop. And its not as simple as just going away from the computer for a while because I need to use my computer for my job.

Use a site blocker

What is to stop me from unblocking?

You might go and turn the site blocker off if you're particularly weak.
But for me just the hassle of turning that thing off and on it enough to make me stop visiting some sites (non porn)

People always tell me I'm not awkward and that I'm great but I always feel like it's the opposite. Also I sometimes want to yell at my friend for having an extremely short attention span.

I think dirty thoughts and I want to masturbate. I've only read one or two chapters of White Noise today, and haven't finished my admittedly easy one page essay for German class.

I've become so miserable and empty inside that books are now my new obsession in search of some sort of answer or cure. Everything in life has become a struggle and I don't experience any pleasure at all on an average day. I just don't see the point of living if there's nothing about life to enjoy. All of my dreams are nightmares and I wake up exhausted everyday, so I don't even enjoy sleeping anymore.

I've tried getting into the Greeks, Buddhism, Taoism, reading classics, reading philosophy, reading uplifting novels, reading some seriously depressing ones, but nothing works for me.

I've tried working out full time, I've tried changing my diet, my mentality, my appearance, I've faked my personality, I've tried being as genuine as possible, I've tried being NEET, I've tried having a full time job, I've tried being single and tried being in a serious long-term relationship, I've tried being myself and also tried to not be myself. And before you say it, I have definitely "stopped trying".

It's not a deep sad depression. It's a constant feeling of "nothing" mixed with stress, discomfort and lack of pleasure.

Nothing works.

/blog

I've been putting off getting a new Mirena because my last one was done under GA and my next will be with the doctor just shoving their fingers up there while I spread my legs, and I don't know how I actually feel about someone who is essentially a stranger just going ahead and doing that.

I come from a country where women don't get gynecologists as soon as they turn 12 -- indeed, they only see one as a specialist doctor maybe once a decade, if that -- and everything else is handled by your GP or midwife, so this is not a normal proceeding.

>It's a constant feeling of "nothing" mixed with stress, discomfort and lack of pleasure.
Is it the perennial feeling of purposelessness?

what is a Mirena?

I can sympathize. I've been avoiding seeing a gynecologist (and doctors in general) my whole life because I can't handle the intrusive touching and the very idea of what you described makes me sick.

A Mirena is an IUD, an intrauterine contraception device

So you're a whore?

I used to shit in the shower and push it down the drain with my toes.

What? Am I somehow morally obligated to turn off the water, climb out, sit on the toilet naked and wet and then shit and THEN get back in the shower?

You people are fucking insane.

I got genital warts on my dick and havent had sex in months because of it and am crushed by it. how the fuck do i get rid of this

Too late whoremonger

Different user.

No.

Sometimes, people use contraceptives for reasons other than sex. Say, to regulate irregular, heavy, and/or very painful menstruation.

Once a month, a woman sheds her uterine lining. It is passed with contractions not dissimilar to minor labour. Sometimes, these can be so incapacitating as to render her unable to walk as she passes a clot of blood and uterine tissue the size of an egg.

You can cheat your body, though. Get the right IUD or other long-term contraceptive, and you might end up with minor spotting and minimal pain for a couple of days ever other month, or no indication of menstruation at all.

Whether you're a woman and you're sexually active or not, they're a viable choice for many reasons.

Sounds disgusting and unnatural, but excusable for weak willed women.

Quit your fucking whining. I've never had sex. Fuck you.

Roastie pls leave.

Only boys are allowed here.

I got into reading after visiting a friend of a friend's apartment and seeing her massive bookshelf full of interesting looking books with cool titles and thinking 'damn'.

Since then I take great pride in my bookshelf that's in my living room and knowing that my guests will see it and be impressed by what I read. I started off reading anything that I thought would make me seem more interesting and smarter, and discovered I actually really enjoy reading and learning.

So yeah, initially, I pretty much got into reading for the selfish, vapid, superficial reason of having a bookshelf that people would admire. Honestly, it's some kind of a Patrick Bateman thing, but I'm glad I did it because I fell in love with reading.

I hate people who accomplish things, so much so that I'm beggining to avoid good things entirely. If I like it, I drop it. I only want the creators to suffer, to fail and too feel as miserable as I feel.

I think I'm special, much better than everyone else, I deserve the best and the rest of you are not of much worth.

I think I know better than God.

Sometimes I hate myself for not living up to my ideal of myself. I do not forgive me or anyone. This world should be on fire.

Forgive me.

I
hold the pen
to my
wrist
as if
it is a
blade
god gave me a
slit
in between
my legs
it
bleeds
and
comes
with two cushions
on the back
if you
nawmsayin

poopi kaur

I got them too and it's very hard to deal with emotionally. The more you read about it, the worse it seems.

If you haven't gotten rid of them already, don't wait any longer and visit your doctor. Apparently they are common, but getting rid of the physical symptoms doesn't clear you of the disease or spreading it.

Lastly, only you can make the decision on whether or not to have sex again. I've made mine and it wasn't easy to come to terms with, but life is too short ...

Literally kill yourself

I've been here 12 years. Go back to your hole.

IUDs are literally just slow dispensers of hormones we're already producing. All they do is throw your body off enough that you don't have a full menstrual cycle but a partial one, preventing pregnancy and heavier menses.

I spend more time on/lit/ than I do actually reading books.

lol that's still unnatural. Imagine pumping myself with testosterone and claiming that it's just dispensing what I already produce naturally. Silly woman.

I've been here for 14. You need to leave.

Damn I'm really glad I'm not a woman.

You should do it, with a woman if you're so concerned about privacy. Have you also considered pills? I thought they had the same effect?

HPV inoculations have been mandatory for the past 20 years.
Perhaps what you think is a wart is actually your micropenis.

It takes me like 2 or 3 months to finish 1 (one) 200 to 350 page book

Im deeply disgusted by midgets and have to throw up when I see one
because of that I could bring my self to read tolkien

How old are you?

I have convinced myself that there is no point to reading fiction other than for pleasure
I went from considering to myself to be a fascist to being (-5,-10) on political compass in just one or two months
I just started reading The Order of Things and it took me over two hours to get through the preface
I think I'm retarded

All I want is to be a devout Jew and I had to be born a fucking tranny.
I actually want to fucking die right now just like I have been for the past 10 years.

you just seem sort of all over the place, your brains are scrambled, maybe get on some ADD meds and see whats what

...

Used to take them. Whenever I took them they turned me into an emotionless twitchy autist with no creativity and even less appetite

I’m gay.

PFFFFFF That's not a confession, we are all gay here, go back to the 60s

Also, if you haven't come out irl yet then you're a faggot

ive never actually read any books outside of high school required reading, all of my knowledge comes exclusively from Veeky Forums shitposts that i regurgitate with an air of authority

I usually don’t like the Jew hands but in this case they were perfectly placed, good job

Ive fked over 50+ women raw and never got anything. Get better taste in women.

I used to like critical theory but realized it was bullshit

Just like your understanding of anything outside of Veeky Forums memes

Priest wojak is a big guy

What are some of your favourite books?

Still doesn’t remedy the fact that you and your friend have shit taste

I'm 20 and I've never read Homer

Same. He gets mentioned so much on here that I’m now just beyond caring about him.

no screens in your free time just go outside and read

Switching political positions often and carelessly is a sign you are just looking for an identity.

we three musketeers. in all honesty, Veeky Forums makes me feel underread. Like, i've read a lot of stuff, started getting into stuff closer to /litcore/ in high school (around age 16.) But I see "16 year olds" here talking about how hard it was for them to slough through Hegel and Dosto, and how much they enjoy curling up after soccer practice and reading the Illiad cover to cover while mommy makes pizza rolls.

personally, i'm so glad i didnt read anything of substantial quality as a kid - it would've ruined it. I can only appreciate great literature because I'm older now and have experienced life.

My confession is that I've played over 5000 games of league of legends in my life, and it makes me very sad to think about the ~3000 hours I could have spent reading or doing something else (playing a sport!) with that time. I guess I enjoyed it at the time and it fit me then as a person, but I really regret losing the time now, or feeling like I did. I guess I'll always look back on those halcyon days in my match history, and my gameplay recordings. I have thousands of hours of myself playing League of Legends if I ever get stuck in purgatory and have to watch my life over again.

It's not about reading homer: it's about realizing that everything the western world (the current world) represents, and hence the sphere you'll be existing in as it continues to wax or wane over the rest of your lifetime, is architecturally rooted in Homeric myth. Sparknote the iliad if you want, who cares, the stuff isn't super complicated: it's understanding how important it is that makes it valuable. It will give you guidance.

I lie a lot and hate god since he knows everything, the nosy bastard.

I lie a lot and hate the Jew since he knows everything, the nosey bastid

That fear of 'falling behind' used to bother me back when I thought reading had an importance that I no longer really believe it has. I'm more in Montaigne's frame of mind these days:
>“From books all I seek is to give myself pleasure by an honourable pastime: or if I do study, I seek only that branch of learning which deals with knowing myself and which teaches me how to live and die well...”

Do you get the heorin' aids soon, or is there a waiting list?

I've been obsessed about my lacking IQ for months. It's gotten to the point where I've lost all motivation to do anything or read any books because my intellectual ability is only about average, so why should I aspire to do or understand greater things? I'd like to just give up and accept it, but it's such a painful truth.

Are there even any legitimate IQ tests out there?
I've always gotten way too high scores.
I know there's no way I am TLDR please link an IQ test that isn't shit.

I blew an amazing 1-2 year friendship because I drunkenly tried to kiss her.

We knew we weren't good for each other and I did it anyway

I am beyond saving and feel bad for shitting up this board but I do in fact read.

I used to think I was very smart, and in all fairness maybe I am, but just relative to the suburban New England town I grew up in.

Get a psychologist. Fuck meds.

How am I supposed to link you to a psychiatrist?

You can get an actual IQ test done by a psychologist. The testing process takes roughly 4 to 6 hours, but you'll get your results broken down into your weaknesses and your strengths at the end of it.

Incidentally, most of the tests I've taken online have been within 1 or 2 points of the score I got when I tested IRL (consistent 125.)

I think I am turning into a post-modernist. I am starting to like Michel Foucault. I was an ancap two years ago and an antisemitic nationalist five years ago.

My identity is just that what I read tells me I should care about. I am an empty shell that is only being filled.

I started being great friends with a guy after my ex female best friend dumped him but not before I fucked her

I see, thank you.

Wow look at those digits

I know you hate Jews, Satan

I feel like a pseud all the time. I have a constant voice in my head telling me I'm fake. Then again, I guess everyone else is.

you need some religion my man

>actually liking a girl
>fucking her
literally pick one

Not user but similar situation. Going "back" to religion feels like a regression rather than a progress. I can't persuade myself of the existence of god. I am looking into going beyond nihilism without succumbing to the anti-identitarian materialism of the marxist school, or to the dissoluting of the ego through fascism.

Despair must be overcome or I will die.

Please no "read Kierkegaard"

I have a big problem with keeping my dick in my pants when I can have sex, morality has no meaning for me then and I just go full sex machine

I am writing a great book, you will see the movie, you will read it, hate it or love it, but you will never know it was me posting this, even tho I love this board so much, I will drop hints, so subtle, that you will never be sure about them

>but I do in fact read
This already makes you better than most of Veeky Forums

stfu faggot, publish it and only then you can bitch about it

B-But.... I am confesing my sins..

Try to stop caring about yourself and just give your life up to helping other people struggle through it.

What you're describing sounds similar to how I used to feel and this was the only strategy to ever help me

Speaking as someone who went through this...

Outside of a medical diagnosis, the only voice in your head is your own: your subconscious fears poking through to your consciousness, your conscious fears reinforcing themselves, whatever possible feelings of self doubt or social rejection you may feel, all telling you "there is something wrong."
It is up to you and you alone to fix it.
If counseling and therapy help, get it. If you haven't tried it, try it. If you're sure it won't help but haven't tried it, try it anyway. More than once, if you have the motivation - it takes the right person to help, and you may not find them right away. If you cannot control the voices because of medical reasons (people's brains are wired differently. You may be naturally more susceptible to hearing unwanted voices and not know), medication could help.

For a more immediate solution, take a step back from your life. Examine it, and yourself. Fair warning: there are probably parts you won't like to see. That's okay. The point is to recognize your whole self: good and bad. Remember that you have the right to change your personality to whatever you want, at a pace that is comfortable for you.

What if what's wrong with you has nothing to do with your personality but your genetics?

read Nietzsche