Write what's on your mind

I have no social interaction its driving me crazy. I don't mind not having money or a career or gf anything I just want to be fucking normal young person having fun and being sexy and carefree

I'm talking to myself

>Erikson's third stage
Thank you for sharing this, I'm starting to read about these stages my first time and they seem useful to consider.

What are psychopathic traits, Erikson's virtues?

I've thought the same thing, although being able to live a lifestyle centered around some fulfilling purpose is the dream. I try not to be cynical about it, and hope that it can be feasible. It seems that the hardest part is finding the direction.

>What are psychopathic traits
nah things like lack of remorse etc

Sometimes I hate that social media culture revolves around it, though. Reduces things to a shallow game of who can hobnob the best. Also, it's natural to hate on things occasionally, hating things is practically an indication that you think about things and don't just mindlessly indulge yourself all day long.

What sucks is that a lot of employers now don't care and just want you to be gung-ho all the time. Some bought into it wholesale and only want to hire giddy motherfuckers regardless if they're lying through their teeth. Some check your social media and will judge you based on how effective you are at the art of hobnobbing. I believe society has always been built this way to some degree though, unfortunately.

>being 20
Enjoy it while it lasts, and while you're at it, try not to be such an ebullient little cunt.

All of that shit is part of a consumer culture intended to sell you alcohol, music, and clothes. Dont buy it. Find your own path. Stick to books and nature walks.

But Im horny af and I want to be a sexy guy in a sexy crowd

nature walks are for old fucks

What does it mean to love someone?
What is healthy love?
How do you give your ex space without complete cutting ties?
Why can't I sleep?

part of the beauty of organic-ality
aka leaves and trees and branches and grass
is, as you've experienced, that ability to project beautiful films
into what you are seeing
scenes of princes and princesses dancing together
impossible in artificially constructed landscapes
completely possible when the constructs you are viewing have an expanded cosmic influence
the idea of it doesn't come from the mind of an individual but from the mind of the cosmos
nobody but god could have dictated the shape of the plant
that sort of situation
like the ever-present symphony that is nature, the ever present ability to project images into the light that
sparkles intermitently through the leaves, purple electric shades on the edges of everything coalescing into a
moving pattern, that if you had the eyes enough for would be play before your eyes as
the mono-myth, the thing, the drama, the the the.

don't worry you just have bad genes

Do you guys think video games are a waste of time

They're definitely fun and the good ones can be aesthetically and narratively great but part of me can't help but think that they're all just shallow simulacrums of real experience

if it brings you joy then its not a waste, just make sure thats not all you do.

>if it maximizes the physical sensations I associate with Joy then its ok
>if it maximizes pleasure its ok

They are a waste but sometimes I need simple but engaging entertainment. I can't always read, it's draining. 2-3 hours is enough most days. But I always try and finish my reading before playing vidya, because it is a time vacuum. That said I just finished part one of LOTR so I'm going to go play some MonHun World.

Dude literally said just makes sure it's not all you do. Literally said "moderation." What's your problem?

You're clearly 19 and I don't wanna deal with your youngfaggot ass right now, but i will say that if you ever catch yourself thinking that you need some particular experience, e.g. sex drugs etc., to validate your current age / phase in life, you are literally being sold a lifestyle brand. If you need sex that badly just get a prostitute. You're still paying for it, but at least you're not lying to yourself. Your wallet will recover faster than your psyche.

In the end, sexual validation is empty and bitter. Everyone leaves and your body becomes old and disgusting. Rid yourself of any delusions now.

They're a waste of time if you're falling behind on the things you need to take care of in your life. As long as you have that stuff squared away, no, they're just a pastime then. Everyone has those.

>if it brings you joy then its not a waste
idiot

that's why sex is best now that my body isnt old and disgusting

life without a hot and sexy love and romance isnt worth living

Why do you post on Veeky Forums?

Why am I only capable of making friends on the Internet? What's distinguishes how I endear myself to people online versus real life? Am I just lonely or impossibly pathetic for my emotional investment into the people I've met online?
All serious questions / please respond.
There's 20+ people that I've been in regular contact with the last five years that I consider good friends whom I've never met in real life. It's got me down that to form meaningful relationships in the real world is so difficult for me by comparison.

Love is mysterious like the next year's memes.

>rekt

I'm so depressed and derealised, I can socialise to a lesser extent but I'm not too good at holding conversations, I do live in a house with Uni mates. I feel too young to feel like this. I'm able to go to the gym and my appetite is low but I try to eat clean.

Everything feels off 24/7 and the mornings are full of guilt, there's nothing I specifically want to do and I can't distract myself at all, even through reading.
Doc put me on Serataline and I'm on day 2 I hope it gives me motivation again, I know meds are not the answer but I'm in hell.

Why do people always talk about the horrors of tyranny, but never the horrors of the common mob when left to its own devices?

>but never the horrors of the common mob when left to its own devices?
what are some examples of those horrors

I would give an arm and a leg to be able to solve my problems just by moving to another country.

Any totalitarian regime was a mas moviment.
And you saw very well what those done.
Also, just look at tribal tribunals in third world countrys, those too are mass-supported.
Or better wet, check any muslim majority country, specialy the bad ones. Those hold values and traditions that are so tyranical that could be just like a proto-totalitarian society.

The French Revolution until it was tamed and civilized by Bonaparte

Unharmed to the battle
Unharmed from the battle
Unharmed wherever they go
fucking dark souls hackers

>especially the bad ones
so all of them?

this was the best post
this was the worst and most narcissistic p-zombie post

do better next time anons

the girl I really like and whether or not I blew my shot with her when I didn't kiss her when there was a good moment for it.

Hopefully not, she's an angel.

why cant i get a job why is life so hard im gonna kill myself

Brace yourself. You blew it.

you can do it man

youtube.com/watch?v=I7PPtC5_e6s
9:50

Hell yeah I can, If I couldn't she wouldn't have invited me to her place for wine and new wave french movies.

Thanks for the positivity brother, hope you have a good one too.

I suppose the answer then is, most of the people who would and who you hear talking about such live, and have known of the living, of the civilized first world, where the common mob is quite ''''ok'''' in its general powerlessness, and all the examples you give are pretty much savage 3rd worldalities. So for 1st worlders, who are quite content and satisfied with the ill power of their neighbors: their biggest worry is the source of power, that is not the masses, but the people who have the power to change their pleasantly bearable picturesque ways of life

> invited me to her place for wine and new wave french movies.

The writing is on the wall!

what do you mean?

Well OP, I'm feeling overwhelmed. At my University I am involved with two research projects under two different professors: the first is Data mining research (I have a 3 person team to help me) and the other is a ground control collision detection system for an autonomous quad-copter drone (I'm all alone on this one). I've made way in my schedule for time on these, but alongside my core classes I feel like Its still too much. I need these opportunities so dropping out of them is out of the question.
I'm having a hard time converting this nebulous ball of work into a structure list of objectives + things to do. I mainly need to just calm down and turn this thing into checklist, but getting there seems like it might be harder than the actual work itself.

Imagine kissing her, and then having to attend court for sexual assault because women tend to be absolutely retarded and/or Machiavellian.

Good listening, user. Its going into the music playlist for browsing Veeky Forums.

autistic and not gonna make it

meh, I wonder why you're such a grouch

Wrote 3k words for someone for $5, just a sample basically. Anticipating them to REALLY like it and to be perfectly happy to pay more to read more. I won't go as high as $1 per 100 words, maybe another 5k words for $30? Takes me less than 3 hours to write 5k words, so seems pretty fair.

5k in 3 hours? How does one do that?
I always get caught up on semantics, precision, and conciseness, and I always have to extensively edit it down.
I am only ever writing scientific papers, however, so I guess I shouldn't expect 5k/3hrs to be reasonable, huh?

"What should I read next?"

if only I could only eat pizza, oh what a man I would be
only a dream of pepperonis, a smile from sea to sea
oh how the melted hot cheese, stretches across the distance
oh how happy I would be, truly in every instance

I mean, if she's doing that, it's a strong signal (to me at least) that she's interested in something more than platonic love.

Well I've been doing creative writing as a hobby for over 13 years ever since I was a young teen. Well, it was a bit off and on, I went a few whole years without really writing anything, but I've gotten back into it again a few years ago and I've been at it ever since, recently taking a crack at finally writing that book I wanted to write and I haven't stopped writing books after that. I've been pretty anal about grammar since my teens, not a 'grammar Nazi' in that I'd give people shit for a typo, but sort of being a grammar Nazi to MYSELF. Whether it's instant messaging, a Youtube comment or even a text message. Lately I've been working on cutting down my use of commas, in fact in the sentence before this one I removed one from between 'comment' and 'or'. I wouldn't call it grammatically incorrect to put one there, but I just think I use too many commas.

I have developed a very fast typing speed, I can crank out a paragraph in about 3-5 minutes on average I figure. A clear image of what I want to write about and a good cup of coffee can potentially even bring that down a bit below 3 minutes per paragraph. Sometimes I only get about 1500 words written in an hour, sometimes it's up around 2500, so it does vary. Mostly based on whether I can see things clearly in my head and my imagination is moving fluidly, or if it's a little bit of a struggle thinking of how things are going and how to word it. I sort of edit as I go, in a sense, meaning if I see a typo as I'm typing then I'll go fix it really fast then go back to typing but I don't make any big edits until the first draft is done, and for my ghostwriting or custom erotica I don't edit at all. As far as I'm concerned if they want it edited then it'll cost them extra, but I have pretty darn clean first drafts and I've gotten nothing but 5-star reviews thus far so clearly I'm doing something right.

If you're getting caught up on small details of your writing though, then yeah, I guess averaging around 1700 words per hour (roughly 5k/3hrs) isn't going to be particularly feasible. All the same, you can be a good writer without such speed, or even a great writer if you're good enough.

I wish I had been left alone to pursue meaning in my life in my own way. What was done to me was repulsive and won't improve me in any way.

meh, I wonder why youre such a dense dunce

>distance
>instance

pls

>meh, I wonder why youre such a dense dunce
have you ever tried to be touchy feely with her, look deeply in her eyes for a few seconds? have you ever flirted in real life or text? how long have you known her? have you ever hugged her? have you ever told her you think shes cool or pretty? do you know if she has any romantic partners or interests? do you act like a harmless gay friend?

is that the best example you have to offer of your criticism? You rest my case for me

don't let these seeds of evil incept your mind, just go for it the next time you guys chill

if that's the best example you have to offer of your poetry, yes

What kind of writing? That's so god damn cheap. Why sell yourself so low?

I'm currently writing content for 3 cents US per word and I find that's already way too low. But I just started so I'm not complaining.

1.5K words on shit like cat litter will take me 2-3 hours before I have anything deliverable (of sufficient quality--I want to exceed industry standards)

What do you write about?
I'm usually writing research papers, scientific journals, analytical treatises. All of which are almost always data-heavy and littered with graphs+charts. Now aside from the visuals + data + in-text citations, I find it taking quite a while still to construct even the first draft unedited: the intro + thesis, the core processes + logical findings in the body, and the result + understandings of the conclusion.
It quite often takes an entire afternoon, with around 12 pages on average, to come to that first draft, and well into the night thereafter to doctor it up and produce a suitable fixed copy; all of this before I even to add the visuals + data + more detailed references + quotes + etc.

>if that's the best example you have to offer of your poetry, yes
You were supposed to answer:
"I thought it was quite obvious, monsieur, so I nay thought the need to further reverberate and barrage of renounced annunciation mon petit freire"
to which I would respond:
"No, you knee jerk jumped on a notion which was meaninglessly baselessly misguidedly misjudged and relevantly irrelevantly incorrect because you are a pseud brainlet hack that will never amount to anything worthy in the eyes of anyone worthy

I charge more for ghostwriting, and less for simply custom erotica that people want to read to enjoy themselves. For ghostwriting I'm making $1 per 100 words my minimum, and depending on the story it can go up from there. Come summer, if I continue to get lots of work and lots of positive reviews, I'll bump it up to $2 per 100 words. I write about whatever the buyer wants. 3 US cents per word is pretty common I hear, but I want a good foundation of positive reviews before getting THAT high. In time I'll eventually go up to 4+ cents per word once I've earned it.

For my own stuff, I write and self-publish all sorts. Action, drama, zombies, erotica, and what not. I've also released a non-fiction and have ideas for more that I'll be working on and releasing in time. Some of it is political. I hope to do some work that includes lots of data and references but I'm still finding my voice and making my way.

Oops, forgot. The second paragraph was basically meant for

Me since the age of 12. I'm a NEET now.

I don't expect to get my life together because I'm a lazy agoraphobic defeatist. But there's precedence, ever since I was young I just wanted to curl up in a ball and rot away.

it worked. have been taking antidepressants + vitamin d for a while and feel different now. not depressed, actually willing to talk to people. such a weird thought that i spent more time socializing the last few days than sitting in front of my pc, i haven't done that for years. for some reason there's still a part of me that believes in the "normie" meme, and it hates me becoming one. caring about people, socializing, using social media again, being happy etc. i have spent so many years believing that "normal" people were sheep, absolutely deluded with instant gratification and fake happiness, but now I act like them aswell. It feels kind of surreal. Part of me wants to continue on this path, socializing more, making friends, "living life", but there's this other part that tells me to go back. what have I become, some kind of turbo normie who unironically uses instagram and socializes multiple times a week? it seems like my iq has dropped by 20 points and i am less thoughtful about things now. maybe it's just that my pessimism and cynicism have faded away. as i'm typing this i feel a kind of depersonalization and alienation from myself, the computer monitor becoming smaller and smaller in front of my eyes. it's a transcendental experience almost. thinking about the changes and about myself moves something within me. i think it's because my main values and morals are being formed again right now. the years of depression and self-loathing, wishing to die at every waking hour, have inevitably changed my thinking and my sense of importance. i'm unused to this being totally shuffled up and changing, but that's what's happening at this moment. i no longer seem to know what's the right thing and what isn't, what's worth spending my time on and what's not. i hope i will go out of this phase as a stronger man, but i can't be sure. at this point i almost feel like floating, i'll take a break and drink some water before i collapse or something. this experience is fucking weird.

I think I'm going to start shilling the collective unconscious theory and I'm only 3 chapters into my first Jung book. I blame Jordan Peterson.

...

I'm 21 and I already have a complete understanding on the human condition and how that makes us unable to direct our lives. I'm only left with hoping that I will stumble upon something (a book, a movie, a dream, an experience) that would make the right things click in my brain to find happiness. It's down to luck and there is nothing I can do about it. The universe might reward me for my wisdom and it might not.

>I'm 21 and like everybody else my age I think I have the answer to everything
ftfy
the human condition doesn't make everybody unable to direct their life. if you're having a problem orienting yourself towards a goal that's on you.
maybe sort your own life out before decreeing you've solved life's puzzle.
not saying this to be mean that's just an unhealthy way to approach life.

I can't imagine a direction for my life that is both realistic and happy. Are you supposed to just accept that you will probably be miserable most of your life and work towards unlikely dreams? How do normal people rationalize being a peasant?

the level of dedication necessary to excel in today's world is insane. the level of talent mixed with sheer effort is more than most people understand or want.
I for one am happy sliding into a middle management position because it means only 40 hours of work and I get to work on a family. my key to happiness is not having any materialistic dreams, so I have no incentive to work my ass off for the new thing(tm)
if not, I have literally all of the books and internet porn.

I wasn't expecting that the strings of words I used would allow you to understand the big picture. The truth is that the vast majority wont have access to deeper truths and you simply belong to the majority. You assume that you can direct your life because your life conditioned you to think this way. I know it feels like we can make a choice but just because it feels that way doesn't make it true. Id encourage you to use logic but you're probably a stubborn individual who believes he has stumbled upon truthful beliefs. I pity plebs but I can't blame them because if I was born in your place I'd also be a pleb.

Redemption hasn't come to me yet in the idea that my heart feels calloused and empty without a shred of dating experience. It's taken me a crying session and a half to commit to not finding anyone at school for the following three years.

youtube.com/watch?v=IksKydCVXVs

Sometimes when I see her, more recently lately, I involuntarily inhale. She is literally breathtaking and I feel like a fucking fiction novel. I hate being lovesick over someone I cannot have. It won't matter too much longer since I'll never see her again after around May but I've never connected so fundamentally with another human being and I've never fallen so hard for someone, much less a friend. This sucks and I hate every single bit of it.
I yearn for the touch of another.

you used a lot of words to say nothing.

What do you mean by 'direct ones life'?

What about the human condition prevents a person to direct ones life?

What the fuck did it all ever come to? It's not about feeling alone even with friends, it's about how temporal it is.

Reading about Franklin's method on improving his writing has cleared up and reinforced much of what I know about learning.

It seems all learning comes down to:

1. Find a model(s) to learn from
2. Attempt to emulate the model
3. Self-correct emulation by comparing to the model
4. Apply in new context, iterate until application is reasonably close to model

With Franklin:

1. He found writers he admired and collected their writings
2. He attempted to emulate some of their work by recreating excerpts from scratch
3. He corrected for deficiencies by comparing to the original work
4. He tried to write the same way for his other work

In machine learning, intractable problems can often be made tractable by changing the representation of the data. In deep learning the representation is generated from scratch, unsupervised. In the human brain, emulation of the model probably generates a mental representation (which may be unique!) which generates the desired results. That's why "a problem well-defined is half-solved" and why the Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance recommends specifying a "target performance level" before beginning any improvement process.

I want to try this process for myself, but I've come to realize that I'm not well-read enough to have preferences. In the past year I've only read three works of literature:
>The Grapes of Wrath
>Moby Dick
>The Things They Carried

I liked all three, but it seems dubious to start with these three authors without having read others. Can anyone recommend some good prose works/authors?

...

no money no friends no love no hope no time

working in a metal factory at 24, no social interaction, no energy to do anything after work

pls kill me in my sleep lord

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Simple as that. If you do something stupid I will have to defect. Tit for tat. And have some respect. No hard feelings. I stay loyal.

how long you ben working there, why no money? keep working there, will you save money so at least that can be checked off your list?

I am shiftless, aimless, miserable, and uninspired. I feel like a good portion of my brain has been scooped out and I don't know how to recover it. I recognize that said part of my brain was defective, but still, it would have been nice to recover some of the productive components from it instead of just having it all disappear. I don't know what I'm expected to do that's of any benefit given all this. I don't have any ideas of my own. I am a liability. I wish this story would come to an end so another one could start, and it doesn't seem like this one is liable to have a happy ending.

Stealing 93 for no reason

Anyone want to join me and my roommate in No Food February

Enjoy those dubs, my friend

-Feels weird that it took 26 years to figure out net worth =/= self worth, and today's circumstances don't necessarily mean tomorrow's have to be the same.
-It's insane to think how many times I should have died but lived on; surviving on fucking food scraps and hatred for so long.
-It amazes me how much of the universe is malleable if you're not particularly smart or skilled, even if you failed high school.
-Wonder if a person's skills grow because the person grows, or if that correlation is resultant of a difference in perspective...?

>t. someone who lived in a tire dump and made a fortune after listening to/taking advice from anons on Veeky Forums

take a break from your environment, and activity, if even 30 minutes or an hour or two, into the woods, a field, someplace open, where you can let your mind rest, and be still, and open, and look at the vast sky and land, and be patient, and breathe deep and smooth and slow, and reflect on memories, and the future, and consider options and desires, think of family and friends, think of enjoyments, things you enjoy, maybe bring a notebook, but maybe dont write into it for a decent while of just mellow chilling (unless ideas come that you must capture, which in case you should), organize, unwind, so that you may wind back up neatly, and see things and your self from a clearer perspective, your future is as open as that field, and sky, as full as that forrest, seize the day, seize the night, seize your means of production

Sounds too proletarian

>made a fortune
how? bitcoin?