Biblical verses that are Veeky Forums as fuck

Genesis 19:30-36

>30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

>33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

>34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

>36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.

Also this:
youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg

Genesis 6:6

>The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.

WHat did he mean by this?

It means hes about the flood that shit and kill everyone. Sometimes I feel like you haven't even read the bible.

Job 38 is my absolute favourite part of the Bible.

All the words of Christ are pure kino, that’s like cheating.
Isaiah has some real bangers too, like all of chapter 6:
>And he said, Go, and tell this people, Hear ye indeed, but understand not; and see ye indeed, but perceive not.
>Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and convert, and be healed.

>WOOSH

Ecclesiastes 9:11

>I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

I see the spawn of them like the stereotypical "The Hills Have Eyes" people. Anyway seeing what they saw probably scared them witless.

LUKE 2:35

> (Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

I've grown to really like Psalm 114 (partially, of course, because it's sung in the ninth tone)

>When Israel went out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a people of strange language;
>Judah was his sanctuary, and Israel his dominion.
>The sea saw it, and fled: Jordan was driven back.
>The mountains skipped like rams, and the little hills like lambs.
>What ailed thee, O thou sea, that thou fleddest? thou Jordan, that thou wast driven back?
>Ye mountains, that ye skipped like rams; and ye little hills, like lambs? >Tremble, thou earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob;
>Which turned the rock into a standing water, the flint into a fountain of waters.

Job ABSOLUTELY BTFO'd

>In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
John 1:4-5 KJV

>And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
John 3:19-21 KJV

Is there anything better?

>In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

>Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said, Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge? Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me. Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof; When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

It is stupid of me that I let my prejudice of the Bible get in the way of reading it. I think it contains a lot of wisdom.

funny meme keep forcing it

Ecclesiasticus > Ecclesiastes

fight me faggots

"Jesus wept."

This is the greatest sentence ever written in the history of humankind. This is undebatable.

I literally got hard after reading this. Why is the bible so lewd?

>It is stupid of me that I let my prejudice of the Bible get in the way of reading it. I think it contains a lot of wisdom.
Just read it. No one should be opinionated over something as inconsequential as a book, especially a book you've never even read.

the whole scene of lazarus' resurrection is top literary kino. i cry like a baby every tiem and im not even christian

Take off your reddit-tinted glasses are just read it, pleb.

They got to get you hooked by the first 30 pages.