Doesn't have a will to live

Life doesn't have a grandiose purpose or meaning.
Mersault always sensed this. Death doesn't have any true meaning until the death warrant (his mom dies and he doesn't care nor is he transformed in any way, like some people do). For him and most people, death is just an abstract concept, no matter if they constantly live in fear of it.
What changes is knowing he will die for sure, at a specific time. He comes to term with his mortality and realizes that, perhaps, the only purpose (in the sense death is the consequence of having lived) is to eventually die one day.
It's paradoxical, but this acceptance of death moves him to enjoy what little life he has left to the fullest.

It's also a trope in fiction. Characters who are prostrated on their death beds, suddenly feel invigorated so they start making plans or trying to get their shit together, and it's usually too late.

I've seen it happen in older relatives. My grandpa, had such a bad liver failure he had turned orange and was very feverish. Some tiny conduct was being blocked so they put a STENT on him. He's such a pragmatist that he literally forces himself to laugh randomly because he read somewhere that laughter releases endorphin even if you are not particularly happy and blah blah blah. Before they implanted a 2nd stent, because he kept getting worse, he was making plans, running errands and shit, and I'm sure it's because he read somewhere that people without anything to long for, die more quickly.

His imprisonment and imminent death made him realize the value of life, which exists despite its lack of meaning.

the value of life and freedom*

I know that's not what the thread is about, but Mersault really did emphasise how he craved his ciggies, going down to the beach, touching Maria etc.

I think the two are strongly connected - life and freedom, he lost the latter and is about to lose the former.
So use your freedom OP, get out there, have some intimacy with a woman, smoke a cigarette, do what you enjoy most or what you'd miss most if you were to be locked up like him.

I wish you all the best, even if recovery isn't an option. Much love.

Death isn't something which we really consider or understand until it's right on top of us, when we can't possibly ignore it. We push it to the back of our minds because it's so grim, alien, and seemingly distant; the idea of a definite and inevitable end is genuinely foreign to us since our entire existence was defined by living. Meursault, who was fairly lackadaisical, realized this in the face of his execution at the hands of a cruel justice system. As other people have said, it's a lot like not knowing what you have until it's gone.

I'm not sure how much this will mean to you, coming from a stranger, but we'll miss you. I hope you had fun while you were here.

The will to live is naturally strongest closest to death. It's just instinct, and very hard to overcome.

Man you saw that weird video too?

Yes. We realize early on perfect happiness is unattainable. We generally fail to realize perfect unhappiness is also impossible.

ever wonder why people always regret jumping as soon as they let go?

Good shit user, I like your thread. No sympathy from me though. Do what you think is right. Meaning of life is implicit.

Mersault died satisfied. He found everything he needed in his thinking.

How le absurd.

Godspeed my friend

So long, pal. Have a good journey through the beyond

You'll be on my mind. Safe travels.

If this isn't a joke, I wish you all the best in your travels my dear user. Here's something I hope will give you some comfort.

youtube.com/watch?v=PbLKjO2ImGo

Tell me all about it once you get there.

God speed op.

Survival instinct
Are you sure you’re going to die or are are able to beat it?

read The Tartar Steppe. It is short and will help you deal with any lingering "I wasted my life" feels

God bless you, OP.

Good luck, OP. Death is not the end.

They paved paradise