Well, Veeky Forums?

*untips your fedora*

So when are those contraceptive technologies coming to the third world

She admits to being a former fundamentalist so in all likelihood she has never actually read all of the Bible. Not even memeing

>salon
About as high of a quality source of information as the cow pie I just took

>In the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
>TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting
>And God said to Moses: I AM THAT I AM
How can you read these passages and not think it's written well? Is it just rage? Spite? These are some of humanity's greatest passages in all of literature.

I agree with this article. The Bible is badly edited, has poor continuity and internal consistency. Authors seem to change between books. Plot is cliched and thin, with virtually no character development save for Judas Iscariot. The main characters of Jesus and Moses are entirely one dimensional messianic figures. The novel opens with Adam and Eve, and then ignores them for the next thousand pages or so. The built-in bookmark was a nice touch, but a little pretentious.

Oddly, it wasn't shelved with the other fiction books.

The KJV has some of the best prose in the English language, which is why its ranked so highly even on Veeky Forums

>all scripture is godbreathed
It's hilarious to see what christlarpers think they can weasel out because they don't know the first thing about christianity

This idiot think that the Bible is only a book,

Almost nobody, not even most fundies, believe that the Bible was actually dictated by God

He tried to warn you, Veeky Forums. Why didn't you listen?

what was the actual source of this, btw? was it r/atheism?

>Le epic screenshot thread

Goodreads iirc

Goodreads

>work at bookstore
>had to suffer two middle aged men having a heated argument about whether God or Jesus wrote the Bible

I'm not fucking kidding

xD

underrated

>intersection
I made it this far before knowing that she has nothing worthwhile to say.

The history and wisdom was just written down by some people, same with the New testament. That's all pretty uncontroversial. The Torah is thought to be written by Moses, but nobody is sure, so some people say that is written by God. The prophets are supposedly saying the word of God, and God has some dialogue throughout the books. I hate when people say it's the total word of God, cause it's just a compilation of different pieces finalized by Augustine

>Why is the Bible written all bad-like?
Fix'd

>Jesus and Moses are one dimensional figures
I know this was a goodreads review sim I'm not yelling at you but seriously, what the fuck? Is this what this culture of "Le epic subversions and deep plots dude" has done to people? Jesus and Moses are messianic figures yes, but they both have moments of doubt or missteps. Jesus beats the fuck out of people in the temple and doubts The Plan on the cross, and Moses straight up murders a guy.

>atheists call themselves freethinkers
imagine being this arrogant

He's specifically commenting on the literary merit of a translation.

...

It's a residue from the enlightenment

Upvoted

St Augustine already settled this, fucking plebs, when will they learn?

explain this post

salon ples

hahaahah le atheism DESTROYED once again with fedora.jpg well done user hahahahahahah

damn son you're way too mad

Should it not be:
>poorly written
also
>salon

HAHAHAHAAH YOU MAD BRO????? EL OH EL EL OH EL OH EL HE MAD LELELELELE XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
LOOK MOM I MAED A FUNNY FUCKING STUPIDS BTFO XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
POOPIE! I MAKE POOPIE IN PANTS! ::::::::::::::::ddddd :DD:D:DDD
I AM ABSOLUTELY CHORTLING AT THESE FUCKING IDIOT NITWIT FEDORAS OPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPO KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

The fact that anyone could call the Bible poorly written really sets me off. Isaiah? Genesis and Exodus? Every single word of Christ? And the Epistles? And Revelation?

i posted this

not this. wtf you on about user you're bamboozling me

>Valerie
>intersection
>women's issues
>contraceptives
>huffington post
>salon
>freethinkers

has there ever been this many buzzwords condensed into a single sentence?

Want to show the heathens your wrath eh

>backpedaling

No. atheism was destroyed long ago so now we just fedorapost to mock it.

most of it is poorly written though, but I guess you can only do so much with something that's meant to be non-fiction (ie describing actual events in history).

>In the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
uhh what? 'word' as in scripture? a word or many words? And it existed before God? Then it existed with God? But it's actually God?

how can you read this and think it's well written? its sophist garbage

Blame the proto-orthodox church. Marcion assembled a Bible that made sense and he got branded a heretic.

evolutionofgod.net
Good book on the subject.

How is that sophist, fren? Isn't equating the word to God like the opposite of sophism?

>Authors seem to change between books.

No shit. Who ever claimed otherwise?

what is the word? and why didn't they just say 'the word was god' instead of prefacing it with a contradicting statement?

you just have to admit that the whole thing could have been written better than this

>read a translation of a translation of a translation of a...
>hey, this thing sounds like shit and totally deviates from the original meaning!
What did you expect

Song of Songs is ok poetry. Nowhere near the greats but it's ok. Gospel of John flows between events poorly and reads like a fan fiction.

Which is supposed to be the good one?

Journalism mocking hallowed religious texts is the natural progression of liberalism.

fag

It's just a collection of ancient writings, lord knows I'll never be able to comment on the prose of the original but the translations I've read are excellent stylistically. And to complain about the cryptic aphorisms of Jesus being hard to interpret seems to miss the point as well.

The word
Not a word

To think there was a time I read Salon unironically. The shame.

>complains that a 2000 year old text written by Jews having religious conniptions is jarring, cryptic, and weirdly composed

confirmed never read a history book

>Song of Songs is ok poetry

Shir hashirim is one of the greatest works of poetry ever, you're reading the translation of a translation you irredeemable arrogant fucktard.

This isn't your average everyday sunnis and shias.
No.
This is POST-ESOTERIC KABBALISTIC SUFISM.

Only bible I read is the White Man's Bible by Ben Klassen.

that, or she read it literally. which is worse

underrated^2

lel
Atheists: 1
Christians: 0

Kill yourself, my man

>every day we stray further from God

tips fedora

Without god everything is permitted (he was right btw)

>The Onion for Liberals.

That's called the Onion, Idiot.

PS: I'm liberal

>fan fiction
Anyone who uses this term to describe classic literature should be banned. It's probably the dumbest criticism imaginable.

>what is the word?
The "Word" is how the Greek "Logos" is most often translated into English. The Logos in Christian theology is the second person of the Trinity, the Son of God, the principle of order and purpose that permeates all things, drawing them to unity in God. The Logos is not the word (scripture). The Logos and God (the Father), together with the third person of the Trinity, the Spirit, are one God. They exist as one God eternally.

The Gospel of John can be appropriated called a Mary Sue story.

>Salon is like The National Review for extreme liberals
I think you meant this.

top kek

The author's twitter says she's a "former fundie" and I kind of feel bad for her now desu

This is prety standare fare for recanted evangelists who were raised in hardcore bible-thumping families and came to hate Christianity. All ex-fundies do this, it's their way of escaping the voice of their parents still screaming in the back of their minds to feel bad every time they touch their genitals in the shower or whatever

If the article had been written by a smug fag redditor looking for approval I'd say the backlash is warranted, but she was likely coming from a different place, almost a good place to be honest (and I say that as a Christian). I have a soft spot for deprogrammed bible belters whose life's mission becomes demonstrating (to themselves as much as others) that they can chart their own path and don't want to he bullied. They're doing the wrong thing for the right reasons in a way

Fucking this. The Bible is poorly written because it's not a "story" in the way she wants to think about it. The Bible is history, some of it written directly by the people who lived it.

>Moses
>messianic and one dimensional
Have you actually read the old testament? He is a flawed man who's impulsiveness and anger results in him being unable to enter the promised land.

>Jesus had missteps
Heresy

Y7ES
YES
!!!11
B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O B T F O

...

I am tearing up laughing. Oh god. Thank you. Wow.

Bait successful. Bravo, user.

the 10 commandments

also the words of Jesus Christ, notionally at the very least

This is why it's better to be Catholic than Protestant. The former don't have the extreme boner for the Bible the latter have, so they're a bit more rational in their thinking (this is why the Vatican has no problem with evolution and the Big Bang).

The afterword

>Bible is badly written

>Ishtar's Descent Into the Underworld is badly written because it's so repetitive in description
>The Iliad is badly written because of the section on ship names that breaks the flow of action

If it wasn't kewl to shit on the bible, I doubt even Salon would entertain something so retarded-sounding

>coming from a site that praises juvenile pulp films and shallow social commentaries
Why was this posted here?

ha ha HA HA
yes
YES

is Jezebel and The Mary Sue The Onion for conservatives

>taking Holy Scripture seriously is irrational and Protestant
>the absolute state of Novus Ordo Latins

>bible
>badly written

>bible
>being dictated by god

Gee, bible sure is a funny way to spell Quran

brainlet here. aren't there, like, a ton of different bibles?

Mainly different translations, King James is from 17th century, good luck reading that if you're a brainlet and New International is for average intelligence people.

All others are either irrelevant, different translations or different subsets of the Christian faith like Catholic or Orthodox.

Nah. Texts used are the same generally, 'cept orthodoxes use greek texts for the OT iirc. However some denominations consider certain works canon (for example, Ethiopian madmen accept the Book of Enoch as canon) while proddies take basically nothing.
Great variety of translations tho.