Veeky Forums Writes An Existentialist Novel

this is turning out great so far, good job

bumping for attention, we need an editor to impose at least a semblance of an initial narriative

I'm fuckin trying senpai

For the record, OP, I think this is coming together surprisingly nice so far.

La Putain is excellent. Good work to the editors so far

Part one complete. We need more niggas in here

alright i think the opener, LA MAMAN is at least halfway decent now, would be nice if the quotes section was smaller.

>I've still got some bulles in the chamber, know what I mean?
>Oh good, we can kill ourselves
I laughed out loud unironically

If i knew anything about Existentialism, I'd try. But I don't, and I don't want to sabotage your work, lads
But good luck! I love these /lit colabs

Bumpo

You don't have to know anything, just shitpost and mention how life is meaningless and put in a couple "or was it yesterday?"s and you should be fine

lol, my access was denied after I wrote about faggots, was this intentional?

Who blocked access? You fucking rat kike.

Why do I need permission to enter now?

I just got denied access? Why OP?

Someone needs to just copy and paste the work we have into another google doc. Some fag blocked everyone else.

Can everyone get on it now?

We're good now, I think.

Dunno what happened desu

Someone might have changed the share settings on accident or on purpose. Likely on accident since they reverted it

Is le fagguet any good guys?

No

>the fucking carrot cake recipe in "Le Danois"
Was it kino?

"Analhate" was the best part

So is there any sort of discernible story so far?

user possesses a powerful Hegelian sex energy which many shadowy forces want to extract from him

A masterpiece in progress.

>Existentialist novel
>with Hegelianism

>implying this novel will actually be existentialist beyond memes

>tfw you unironically write at your best when you're doing collective shitposts with Veeky Forums

We need to have a really big philosophical ending at around 120-130 pages in where user lays out his existential theories

Agreed, this one doesn't need to go on much longer than 100 pages.

I would write something but first i have to backtrack my thoughts to be able to coherently describe how i ended up with my way of thinking.

>starts with the main character waking up
Scrap it, start again

It's a metaphorical awakening

Jesus fucking Christ, reading it is like reading a fever dream. 10/0
Am I having one right now?

Yes but it needs to be titled synthesis and be a proper culmination of all the brilliant thought written before it. I think this would require someone to actually read the whole thing.

Veeky Forums Writes threads always capture the essence of a feverish dream better than any single man could do.
You know shits going down when a recipe for a goddamned cake shows up in the middle of your novel.

>tfw the first poem I've ever written is for this shitfest
Thanks Veeky Forums
When I get rich because of my poetry, I'll buy Veeky Forums and permaban all /pol/acks just for you lads

also pls rate

>Now is the winter of our discontent, or maybe yesterday was
It's good lads.

Le Danois is a masterpiece, pls don't edit.

Your poetry is actually reasonable okay for a shitpost but it doesn't stick to meter consistently.

Der Bims is lit as fuck

>tfw people have praised both of my chapters
Gonna make it lads

>“L’ANONIE ET GUMSHOE”

>user and his thirty-seven year old sister and consistent sexual partner were relaxing after their brief excursion to Malaysia on the advice of one Arthur S.C.H.O.P.E.N.H.A.U.E.R., a cyborg who had been given the consciousness of the most butthurt man in Kraut history. Schoppy had nearly paid with his “life” when his plan to steal the incestual tantric energy of user through anal rape had been foiled by the arrival of Hegel and Detective Gumshoe, both of whom sought the enormous power swelling within the twenty-something autist. user, not yet aware of his immense power but yet sensing something amiss about the situation, had quickly taken Schoppy’s generous gift of The Bhagavad Gita and returned home without even stopping to say thank you to the fully erect man-machine.

thank you, based nigger. this is great.

>the user and gunshoe narrative
>the Hegel and Schopenhauer mininarrative
>the two chapters where it's a legitimate story about STEMlords
>the tapirbro narrative
Is this the great American novel?

This is actually really good so I'm scared of messing with it

Someone wanna put on Waiting For GF with me?

We should do it where Part 3 is more meme nonsense prose and Oart 4 is 20-30 pages of """philosophy""" or at least one of the characters (gumshoe, the tapir, user) giving their point of view on philosophical and existential issues

someone powerrank the stories

Part 2 > Part 1 > what Part 3 is shaping up to be

Only if I get to be Pepe

Very bad opinions, part 2 is kino

le boldeur is good.

-Asiatic black bear, Himalayan black bear, moon bear –Ursus thibetanus Asiatic black bears have long black fur with a distinct white patch on the chest that is often crescent-shaped. The fur around the shoulders and throat is particularly long, and their ears are relatively large. Asiatic black bears live in eastern Asia, including Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Cambodia, China, India, Islamic Republic of Iran, Japan, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Lao People’s Democratic Republic, Malaysia, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nepal, Pakistan, Russian Federation, Taiwan and Vietnam. Asiatic black bears are more carnivorous than their American counterparts, although only a small part of their diet is made up of meat. This includes small mammals, birds, fish, molluscs and carcasses. They also feed on grasses, fruits, berries, seeds, insects and honey. In autumn they fatten up for the winter by feeding on nuts. In northern climates they hibernate. In southern climates they do not hibernate.

ill start

>i was on Veeky Forums again

To the one who wrote La Quete, when is your annotated edition coming out, I don't get it

Thank you for appreciating my efforts to put main characters into this user

main characters ?
I wrote a short story about an algorithm.

With our progenitors and the world behind us, we poopy never hold this life to be MALIGNANTLY USELESS. Almost nobody declares that an ancestral curse contaminates us in utero and pollutes our existence. Doctors do not weep in the delivery room, or not often. Niggery do not lower their heads and say, “Nigger stopwatch has started.” Nigger infant may cry, if things went right. But time poopy dry its eyes; time poopy take care of it.
Time poopy take care of everyone until there are none of us to take care of. Niggern all poopy be as it was before we put down roots where we do not belong. Niggerre poopy come a time for each of us—and then for all of us—when the future poopy be done with. Until then, mongoloidity poopy acclimate itself to every new horror that comes knocking, as it has done with benis ))) the very beginning. It poopy go on and on until it stops. And the horror poopy go on, with generations falling into the future like so many bodies into open graves. Nigger horror handed down to us poopy be handed down to others like a scandalous heirloom. Being alive: decades of waking up on time, then trudging through another round of moods, sensations, thoughts, cravings—and finally flopping into bed to sweat in the pitch of dead sleep or simmer in the phantasmagorias that molest our dreaming asses.
Why do so many of us bargain for a life sentence over the end of a rope or the muzzle of a gun? Do we not deserve to die? But we are not obsessed by such questions. To ask them is not in our interest, nor to answer them with hand on heart. In such spirit might we not bring an end to the conspiracy against the mongoloid race? This would seem to be the right course: the death of tragedy in the arms of nonexistence. Overpopulated worlds of the unborn would not have to suffer for our undoing what we have done so that we might go on as we have all these years. That said, nothing we know would have us take that step. What could be more unthinkable? We are only mongoloid beings. Ask anybody.

This is actually good compared to the shitstains that were HyperTundra

When it's finished if any Jew user will get this self-published physically I'll give my money for it. Still needs some editing, but I'll be the first to say it's easier to write your own thing than to follow the nigh ridiculous guidelines laid out by the user before you

Waiting for GF is fucking hilarious.

You can buy physical copies through Lulu.com of all the previous Veeky Forums books. I imagine this one will be no different.

Waiting for GF made me laugh physically, it's an actually good play minus all the sexual shit (because of all the sexual shit?)

>Niggerse glands are outside the control of thought. Nigger Hindus call them 'chakras'. Nigger glands are located in the exact same spots where they speculated the chakras are. Niggery are not in the psychic body -- there is no such thing as a psychic body or causal body -- they speculated, you see. Niggery must have experienced what we call the 'ductless glands'. A tremendous amount of money is bIn a second he began to gasp and sputter and his head reappeared on the surface; he started under again and the same thing happened. Nigger river wouldn’t have him.

who did this? did someone change every capitalised "The" into "Nigger"

nigger user at it again

not only that...

They changed "from" too.

an "will"

Can someone revert this?

why is on erry page a 2 on the top right and how do I make a chapter

>postmodern existentialism
>references only sartre
>mfw

someone renumbered every single page to 2
>my sides

can't stand camus pretentious posturing, delete this thread NOW

thanks man, I wrote that first one

Les Boche is AMAZING. Great job to whoever wrote it.

Thanks senpai I wrote Le Danois
That's a real carrot cake recipe btw, make it if you're interested

Come on lads, I don't want to write the climactic battle of user and S.C.H.O.P.E.N.H.A.U.E.R. alone.

why dont you write it anticlimactic then

I've completely lost the plot user, I'm just gonna write more stories about the tapir

Am I gonna get a fucking virus from this shit? Because I want to contribute but I'm a little pussy

It's just a google document breh. It's safe.

>am I going to get a virus from a Google doc

>tfw the last paragraph of les boche

The most hilarious thing about this effort is that somehow people have ACTUALLY managed to fit existentialist ramblings and philosophizing into this utter fucking disaster. It truly was an existentialist novel.

L'ANONIE is a masterpiece.

Indeed. And the beginning is also pretty sweet.

“LE ROUGE ET LE NOIR”

“Truly,” said Albert, “they were an Arab and I was the Sun in the Eye of the Stranger.”
“What an Blaq l’Angele” said the Frenchman, Mamadou, looking in the window.
“Truly Allah has blessed us with the swarthy BLACK TURK warrior-women!”
“Yes truly he has”, said Bloom Harold (a Jew) “He truly has, my BLACK friend.”
Bloom Harold had undergone extensive modification of his dermis, having scales of titanium and a eyes to rival Sartre, “le existenaliste uno qua Francias” as he would satirically call the hack, the hack of France.
“Sartre the Hacked” he’d say, munching on fried goy foreskin, “akin to the James the Bold”
“The Bold and the Brash!” said Mamadou.
Albert stepped in, throwing ‘L’nausae’ in the trash: “More like, belongs in the TRASH!”
Ha-ha, a collective onomatopoeic laugh echoed in the Mosque. “Truly” echoed from a gaping Jewish mouth-opening into the mosquely abyss.

They stepped outside the streets were wet like a womans vagina thought albert he said he fucked he had sex he is a model but his cigar is just a cigar hohoho. (experimental sentence -- akin to Joyce “cuck me yes Yes” James.)

Harold Bloom looked confusedly to Albert seeing a recorder.
“What’s that?”
“This? I am recording my thoughts, they may need me.”
“Need you?”
“Yes. You see, the word is nothing without an Idea of the Word itself. Me, being an philosopher, know that an Idea of the Word is something which I cannon’t SEE per-say so I record it, and then I don’t SEE it but HEAR it, making a true philosophy. It is like Berkeley : ESSE EST PERCPII, but only now it is VOCAT EST PERCEPII.”
“At last, I truly see” said Mamadou, a BLACK TURK.
“You mean, I truly HEAR?” said Bloom, beaming.
“What say you laddies we get an publy beer and Guiness world record aye?” said Albert Cah-moo, eine Kuh, with a, what’s that, Irish, Scots? Bloom thought. (experimental sentence -- akin to William “Shake-my-spear, sister” Faulkner.”)
Truly, Bloom was a Stranger in this world.

[Zwischenspiel]
It has come to the author's attention that most of these readers are Plebs cum agores (Plebeians from the Marketplace) and, in all his humbleness, he has decided to explain to the reader every reference and Wortspeil (german, Play-with-words, ie in “commoner”: PUN) in the Footnote No.29 --
The MISHEARD is an allusion to the previous conversation -- Camus talks about hearing instead of noticing, so the idea is that he can only mishear an apriori res extensa; it could be also said, that the MISHEARD is easily misunderstood as MISREAD (or -- a rebus -- HE MISREAD) making it a Wortspeil above understandable level, that is, there is an active (the one reading) and passive (the reading-in-itself) with regards to Kant. The ACTIVE is the MISREADING, the passive is the MISHEARING. The Text-in-itself (see: Derrida) is completly a passive subject and its realm is the mishearing one; paradoxically, not even being able to hear itself (Socrates had said that an open book is mute).
ALBERT SPAKE, say the first two words of the second sentence: it is clear, an allusion to the Nichilo-Existentialist first translation of Nietzsche’s ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA, where, in the English language, the AORIST timeform is only found in the Bible -- the mistranslation is ALSO SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA; S-P-A-K-E.
[Zwischenspiel vorbei]

Guys just joined, haven't read anything on existentialism. Can someone tell me why everyone's name in those viewing the document begins with Anonymous? You clits seriously made an account for this? And is the quote by God purposely empty?
kek'ing hard by the way

Google automatically names anonymous users you dunce. Contribute pls, I've almost wrapped up the user narrative

So how close are we to 'finishing' this?