Write what’s on your mind

Write what’s on your mind

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My gf left me and i went crazy and then got into writing, now im a writer and im getting her back ( i was a royal jackass). Cool?

I want to be a joyous king
I want to have a powerful
and majestic queen
Who will make me bend at the knee
I'll make emptiness fleet the white paper sheets
with loves notes to covet thee


>tfw no gf

Why did God invent us black people? It's the thesis of my life. Dead serious.

t. dark hearted dark skin

Is femdom the most Veeky Forums fetish?

what's on your mind

My grandmother once saw a group of russian POWs in the camp passing bricks in a line, she pointed at them and said "They look just like us"
The officer heard that and order the prisoners to turn around facing away from her.

There's always one faggot

What was your grandmother doing in a POW camp?

idk but i just want a cute girl who will worship my Veeky Forums body by making me her personal love slave

I want to feel used by the abuse of venomous lust, i want to feel the wrath of the sexual plight

Apprenticeship as tailor, also it wasn't a POW camp but a concentration camp, the actual prisons you see today were just fractions of the KZs with the SS parts being about 20 times larger

True!

Miles, I swear to fucking God, I will destroy you and all your friends, you thirty year old bald fuck!

...

im a lonely man
a stranger in these lands
who is me
who can be
around me
every one evading me
this lonely clown
please
stay around
i am just a lonely man

big spoon or little spoon
you decide
lone moon, crescent soon
changing tides
growing cocoon, gentle bloom
I reside

please come
and stay by my side
big spoon
little spoon
i cant decide :(

Back in high school, I remember speaking to a girl that was so nice, I thought she was interested in me romantically. After a bit of time, though, I realized she spoke to everyone that way. It got me thinking: Are some people just naturally like that? If not, would it be wrong to aspire to become more like that? The initial reaction is, "Of course not", but here's where it gets tricky. On the surface, one might appear to be Christ himself born anew, yet act that way for selfish and egotistical purposes. A kind disposition is predicated on kind sentiment; Otherwise, it's dishonest. Buddhists draw clear distinctions between the two modes, and the proper one is distinguished by complete freedom from greed, anger, and fear, with a higher karmic reward in turn.

To become kind, then, isn't to match the image of a friendly and kind person, but to cultivate kind feelings and make the right action with the right intent. When this becomes a habit and defines your approach toward life, then you will appear kind without any effort, and perhaps without even realizing it. That is what it means to be selfless.

just marathoned that post
wasn't worth it

ive become like that
im sorry, i cant help it
i feel one as the fae
out to live, just to play
just a guy, waiting for his time.

we can't really destroy capitalism, can we?

maybe it's better not to try. reading critical theory, capitalism critiques, accelerationism and those kinds of stuff can drive a person insane

no, unfortunate, but its not for not
capitalism rides on a philosophy much older
much like theology, it is cold, machine like
runs like the breeze
Turns cogs naturally, curls the economy without a twirl of thought
capitalistic testimony of trading domini

Borrowing from Churchill, capitalism is the worst economic system except for all the others. I think we will move beyond capitalism some day but to a form that hasn't been invented yet. In the mean time, planned/highly regulated capitalism (as opposed to free-market capitalism) should be our immediate goal.

stop relying on Churchill you pseud
You didn't borrow anything, you've but borrowed your mind into someone elses ideology
>capitalism is the worst economic system except for all the others.
This isn't borrowing, since it doesn't even edge in on the gaps the Churchill tried to vanquish.

come up with your own ideas pseud

I have been experimenting with AI for decades. I have hundreds of bots wandering azeroth. They are scripted to interact with people and have growing friend's lists.

Here are my 5 unskillful states of mind. If I eliminate these there will be nothing stopping me.


1. Sluggish boredom. The ordinary is not unbearable but only a thing to get through. Bus rides staring out the grey sky, with not a thought of inspiration or hope for the future. Not pessimism because a pessimist sees the world with bleakness. I see nothing but the void, empty of hopelessness and cheerful hopefulness.

2. Fearful and anxious. Fear of not any physical harm but of looking stupid in public. Anxious and impatient. The eternal tapping foot. Wasting energy by dedicating a lot of mental power in processing what I think people think of me. Constantly evaluating and being self conscious, afraid of looking stupid.

3. Anxious egotism. Anxious over trying to look and act as good as possible. Trying to impress others but without trying to directly talk to or make my intentions clear. End up looking stuck up. Cannot sit still, still impatient. Confidence under the guise of false superiority. Easily diverges into Fearful anxious when confidence/delusions wanes.

5. Neediness. Desperation and loneliness. Mind-reading and predicting the worse judgement of others. Walking alone and not being confident. Thinking that others are judging because I don't have a friend or a partner, this exemplifies being needy. Wanting approval from others. Wanting to please others which is driven instead of having the intent of sharing/spreading well-being.

I know what to do. These are all mental sufferings that I have created. And I will destroy them. I will not go to a psychiatrist nor take a damn pill. The reason being is whatever I create and think, I can easily uncreate and unthink.

" Phenomena are preceded by the heart, ruled by the heart, made of the heart. If you speak or act with a corrupted heart, then suffering follows you — as the wheel of the cart, the track of the ox that pulls it. "

You really think everyone should come up with their own economic theory? Most people will never be experts. I never claimed to be one. I'd be a fool not to look into the ideas of others. I'm not even a Churchill fan, btw, it was just a relevant quote.
So what's your completely original and workable economic system that's going to save the world? Hope it doesn't borrow from anyone else's ideology.

I'm really annoyed that this thread was moved to /adv/ to languish and die warosu.org/lit/thread/S10684028

I didn't create it but I was saving it in a tab to reply to it later, because I admired what the OP was doing and how he was going about it. Of all the shitty worthless fucking threads on this board that last for days, that one could have snowballed into an autodidact resource thread and a discussion of how to attain to college/academic standards of education without being in the institution, for people who don't have the opportunity.

Seriously, just of all the shit awful threads on this board, THAT one gets /adv/'ed? That isn't even a thing that happens here.

Here are my 5 unfulfilled states of mind. If I fix these there will be nothing stopping me.

>1
Thuggish freedom. The ultra-ordinary must once again become musical and mystical. Bus rides staring out at the grey big faceless bay, with the spiralization of wonder and sincere sunder drifting me back to aspiration for the sake of reestablishing that I see beauty.
>2
Prideful and Tyrannical. Proud of my own physical limitations basking in onlookers sight, unopposed yet by self judgement. Calm and ready for the next step. Washing energy dedicated to the now, mental harmony with being one with the sheep. Looking for my next pupid.

i got bored and didnt want to finish

There was once a time where I was carefree, and did not care at all what people thought of me. I was uglier, fatter, ruder, and intentionally tried to dispel all social expectation of deceny and question and pointed out everything that make us act the way we do in society (like Larry David, without the bald head).

If my younger self saw me as a separate person in the street, acting the way I do, he would laugh at me and call me a pussy. Then I would feight confidence but he will see right through it, just as a mere defensive position to a stranger's opinions.

When I was younger, I talked to more people. I challenged them and remembered their names effortlessly. But as time went on, the box that society created for me, the one that I would have stepped on as a child, I voluntarily step in and limit myself. My fear of societies opinion of me grew stronger. I began to act more "civillized". Afraid to smile, afraid to think and no longer bright-eyed. It's not so much bleakness, nor apathy, but a growing mask of egotism, the need to not look stupid and be laughed at. Yet I am richer, more educated, more physically fit. It's as if I have created a self which is now valuable but must now protect it from shattering like a precious fragile china. My younger self would have destroyed this pristine, self-conscious, self-focused, self-absorbed self, and pissed on the broken glass.

Was it because my younger self had little capacity to picture himself in other's shoes? Or did he just not have enough time to process how a stranger might think, and only had enough power to process what he thought?

I'm just saying the context you provided to Churchill is ambient to the general discussion and isn't wise to tact it upon an individual.

you have no problems you're just a stupid narcissist

I hate capitalism.

>The ultra-ordinary must once again become musical and mystical.

I've fallen for this trap. It's just daydream. It gets tiring and nothing gets accomplished. It has to become something more disciplined, a much more controleld craetive outlet. One can freestyle and play music in the subways and the streets... you know, just being able to let the subconscious speak.

Happy Birthday
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

CIRCLES WITHIN CIRCLES WITHIN CIRCLES
WITHIN C
IRCLES WITHI
N CIRCLES
WITHIN CIR
CLES WITHI
N

good job you listed 4 things instead of 5 and now you look stupid in front of others (judging you VERY harshly rn)

1 can be fixed by taking up a hobby, reading for example
>but no hobby can satisfy this void
then chances are you need a direction in life

also, 2 can be fixed by taking a more rational approach and stopping yourself to think "do i really stand out more than anyone else right now?" or "will anyone even remember this?", it's hard to stop to think about that kind of thing, but eventually if you try you'll learn to stop yourself

3 can be fixed by never overstating, stepping back and allowing room for others to critique whatever it is you've said, and by taking a conscious effort in presenting yourself to others
you also should try to fit the format of others around you

5 is simply insecurity, which can be fixed by being confident in who you are
it seems paradoxical that someone who overstates can be insecure, but in reality narcissism and overstating is a reaction to insecurity
a lot of this goes away with experience, the rest goes away when you find your life's purpose

also yes, it is all in the mind, no drug or book or item could fix the problem, drugs would just convince you you don't have a problem
hope you actually bother to do something about it unlike my roommate who whines about depression half the day and watches videos/plays games/does some other instant-gratification thing and wonders why his life is so empty

Isn't narcissim having intense love for oneself and no one else?

then it looks like you forgot why you used to love to live

remember it
find it
stick to it

narcissism is loving yourself more than others or believing you specifically are better than others, not just an absence of love for others

I can't tell if Dr Seuss is good or not...


this is the most interesting post in this thread

w-was this post made by an AI?

Omfh fafa uhph papa
That's what I say when I can't take it any longer.

Oo, oo, oo'0clock
Hands crossed
Pink nails, thin bones.

I wish I could sue him but he's already dead ommpapa he's a man how do I say no. What do I say when two kids is not enough. He's dead yknow.

Ah ah aggh hey hey hey that's what I say when it's coming out i don't really know.
Comes and goes, goes and comes oh lala it drives me nuts. It's been 4 days must be more.

Kind of things it's like you are a traitor, I'd like to shoot him, Jim not like I'd do it but he's already dead must be some kind of a scoundrel he doesn't want money he wants a mother.

He said his name is an idiot or something.

I'd like to get back or, I don't like to touch it it's hard to eat.

He made me to go get into the septic tank, I said he's in pain I'm in pain so you figure out a way.

The cancer is eating away. I want it to go away.

My grandma went into hysterics while shit clogged up her intestines for a week and the pain began to be so intense from it being unnoticed by the doctors/nurses. You could tell she didn't want to worry me, there was no one else left but me. So instead of yelling swears she would say ommmf papa and omf Lana or some shit to try and convince us it wasn't so bad she passed two hours later just needed this off my chest.

Maybe not destroy it, but reform it. Stop harking on the dangerous of communism, and take some ideas from it and supplant them into Capitalism 2.0 we know he pitfalls now, let's create something greater.

I think crypto poses a greater threat to capitalism than communism ever could

Post chat transcripts

I can no longer sleep naturally these days. I have to drug myself with sleeping pills or some sort of analgesic. Perhaps I have adopted my mother's habit of drug abuse

I like listening to old sad country songs, and drinking on Friday nights. I write everyday, learn guitar, two foreign languages, and a programming language. Yet, I still feel like I'm a failure.

i just want friends to do stuff with
i just want to be useful and in bliss

make that two, bud. now that i'm here

three pal, i was here first. get in the back of the line.

once you get friends you'll long for something more, with the exact same magnitude as now

Hmm but I don't believe I am special. Maybe self-conscious...

>hope you actually bother to do something about it

I am and I have tried but my intent was in the wrong place. I am taking care of not falling for the trap of spiritual materialism now.

i want a gf to

i dont think you know what i mean by friends

i want to explore with them into the unknown, in all areas.

>got ghosted again
i thought we really hit it off this time too

Man you made tear the fuck up, user.

I just had so many flashbacks of watching Cosmos, watching space documentaries, being in awe of the night sky....

faggot

forgotten cosmos in the night sky, why
oh why, do you leave my eye?
lost by my decadent light, dimmed
by the brim of new sights
I glint at these worlds pray bring me truth
fantasy twirls by fear to keep my youth

And it’s a long fall from the top
And it doesn’t stop
And it doesn’t stop
And it doesn’t stop
And it doesn’t stop
And please make it stop

Stop clinging

I like maths and cryptography and all but I feel I haven't ejaculated artistically for a while now.

Anyone know the feeling? Should I start finger painting like a kindergartener?

doing it with word
is up there with the birds

you likely believe that others are generally uninformed in life and that they simply don't pay attention to the minutiae as much as you do, when in reality others have likely had similar thoughts
this can get carried to the extreme when you start overstating and presenting yourself as a professional when inside casual environments, and gives the impression of a narcissist

try not to assume yourself as the leader of the conversation, you'll get exactly the impression you're looking for if you're able to casually explain complicated subjects without paying any attention to how you sound or look saying it
and rather than, for instance, saying "well just take a derivative of both sides and then use this identity" say "couldn't we just take a [...[?", as it makes you seem more passive than aggressive

a lot of this requires a major change in how you approach conversations, and it requires you to consciously think about and reflect upon your conversations throughout the day

prepare for much disappointment then
used to want the same thing but failed to find anyone willing

im already beyond disapointment
i do things of my own appointment with muse

beauty of organic
leaves and trees and branches and grass
I've been able to see "films"
very specifically, a scene of a prince and princess dancing together
through the intermittent sparkling sunlight as filtered through the branches a tree waving in the wind
I don't know what to make of it, it was a real experience for me
I only feel that perhaps all is well

I don't know if I'm blue collar living white collar or the other way around.

same
pls by a girl

whatever collar you want to be just go to goodwill and select that color and wear it and viola you're color coordinated

my paranoia is completely out of control, i need to get a fucking grip, every time i wake up in the morning and look at the paper i feel like it's only a matter of time

what if one is blind to all society and worth?

Best post I've seen on this website all year.

>and rather than, for instance, saying "well just take a derivative of both sides and then use this identity" say "couldn't we just take a [...[?", as it makes you seem more passive than aggressive

Can you elaborate on this?

>a lot of this requires a major change in how you approach conversations, and it requires you to consciously think about and reflect upon your conversations throughout the day

i am conscious of how I present myself, to the point of anxiety...

addressing your second part, if you constantly think "oh god i fucked up", that isn't doing shit
you have to actually reflect on it and say "what could i have done differently?"

thing is, for it to be meaningful you have to already know what it is you're _supposed_ to say
once you know that, your anxiety becomes constructive as it allows you to reflect

as for the first point, it's about talking unassertively
acting assertive is useful in professional environments, however if you act assertive in casual conversations (even when it's about studying or working on a project), it'll make you seem stuck up
you have to be assertive in some situations, but you really have to learn to speak as if you could be wrong (even if you know for a fact you're right) until you're able to gain enough of a reputation

it's pretty difficult to address this point and give you solid advice since i learned to talk like this many years ago

also it might seem a bit self-contradictory but you have to realize that talking as if you're uncertain is completely different than actually being uncertain
you could be uncertain but talk as if you're certain, for instance

the reason this was written so assertively was because you were explicitly asking questions and i was providing answers, by the way
the main reason you see so many fights on Veeky Forums is because you see others acting assertive to each other when they're both trying to solve a problem, but have different perspectives. if one were to be less assertive in a debate, you'll see that the debate progresses much smoother

Why are these threads always filled with trite drivel?

These are the thoughts people have most of the time. Life isn't constant profundity.

I hate my current life and I need to take some serious actions before it gets worse.

Also writing a short story (in spanish).

Try are these dreads aldways willed tith twite fivel

i like that i am here posting. i like that i am a part of this underground literary movement. for that is what it is, is it not?

Thanks user. It's a lot to consider but you say to reflect and I see how meaningless all these man made problems are.

I saw the other thread... I'd much prefer man vs nature problems.

My gfs breath lately has been fucking weird and idk how to tell her. Like it gives me headaches

There's either not enough, or way too much, hours in a day.

There's a now rotting piece of meat stuck in her teeth. That or she's been tonguing ass.

Contempt

a lot of it is meaningless, but for most lifelong goals you usually need to give a decent impression to others

it's meaningless if some random girl on the street thinks you're weird, almost under any circumstance, but it's a bit more meaningful if you give your manager a bad impression

it seems obvious but these things need to be stated before we make grandiose assertions about all social interaction ever

excellent post user

I whistled Do You Hear The People Sing in the library today and a cute girl whistled along and I wish I had been smooth enough to get her number without being creepy about it, but I have six different forms of autism engaging in constant civil war for control of my brain, and it would have come out as "DO YOU.. DO YOU LIKE NUMBERS?" or something.

Have you tried to figure out why instead of calling her weird and dismissing her

Indeed it is! Remember to pin a spark on your lapel so fellow members can identify you in public

that always puts me in the mood for suicide

I need to get over myself. .. allow myself to make mistakes and worry less of what strangers think. I get that. But in real life it's just so hard to be not anxious over what strangers think of me. I see why narcissism was the initial diagnosis. It's a self absorbed form of anxiety.
Is it just a matter of practice then? And intentionally be vunerable and take risks in public?
Perhaps cultivating tranquility and equanimity and going full monk mode for a while. .

>Is it just a matter of practice then? And intentionally be vunerable and take risks in public?
yes, it's exactly this

it's really fucking difficult and you'll mentally berate yourself for it every step of the way, and you will absolutely fail for a good few weeks
after a year you'll probably get the hang of it all, assuming you don't stop jumping in social events

there's a lot of other advice i didn't give you but you'll likely figure it out on your own
oh also should mention this now since i'm about to go to bed, what really helped me at first was just (while reflecting) imagining i was the other person in the conversation and thinking about how that person would continue the conversation. it opened my eyes to how much differently i talked than how others do (it's not really actionable but it at least provides answers)

ok late night confession and this is some real shit i don't want to deal with but maybe i should write it. last time i fucked a chick she was super hot like model tier but i came so fast it was like a waste of time for both of us, and i haven't even tried to fuck a chick or even really wanted to fuck a chick since then. i still get mesmerized by bubble asses and stare at tits, but like i just don't even consider making a move, like i'm pretty autist so i'm surprised she took a chance on me and let me hit, and it was just bad, i used to be all autistic when chicks that would show interest like agonize about how to get their number or escalate to sex, but now i don't even consider it

Absence. Isn't it something, isn't it haunting. That an absence is present. That we notice the zero in space, or that we see that something is gone because the space is filled with absence.

---

The trade has been agreeable and yet I still pine, though less vividly. I'm able to construct, but have no breath under the water, I'm not getting this whale moving, and the currents are filled with gore. I suppose I need to enter the fire bath in pyramid and go off seeing again. I suppose the vision I had was a gift, but it must be strange for others to believe what I must be after or for, to believe I cannot do, or that I can must mean that I do so for such reason. But what can I do to fill in an empty space in an others mind with a key to help the door be locked opened other than oblivious tricks that no one wants, but that keep me entertained? Towards here, I have at least a negation of what my life is, the absence a presence, the earth hostile and man nefarious, and I'm tired, I'm tired of your kindness tonight as your holy path. Lay down your life against the earth and see if it isn't unkind, that it doesn't desire. Look into your flesh and see the organisms that work for you, with you, because of you, and those that are destroying you, the parasites that feast and in order to keep feasting praise your kindness and tell you that it is higher, that it is praiseworthy above negation, above death. This is the path of those who hate with sincere kindness, that hate the world enough to wall themselves in rather than as they say, expand themselves outward into the cosmos. Existence is violence, the serpent has shit an earth of suffering for pigs to become more filthy. Glory be to destruction - but I have nothing to hate except this day ... and I'm tired and need to sleep.

No one can keep his griefs in their prime; they use themselves up. The same is true of homesickness, of any nostalgia. Regrets lose their luster, wear themselves out by their own momentum, and after the fashion of the elegy, quickly fall into desuetude.
What then is more natural than to establish oneself in exile, the Nowhere City, a patrie in reverse? To the degree that he revels in it, the poet erodes the substance of his emotions, the resources of his misery as well as his dreams of glory. The curse from which he drew pride and profit no longer afflicting him, he loses, along with it, both the energy of his exceptional status and the reasons for his solitude.
Rejected by Hell, he will try in vain to reinstate himself there, to be reinvigorated by it: his sufferings, too mild now, will make him forever unworthy of it. The cries of which he was only yesterday still proud have become bitterness, and bitterness does not become verse: it will lead him beyond poetry. No more songs, no more excesses. His wounds healed, there is no use pointing to them in order to extract certain accents: at best he will be the epigone of his pains.
An honorable downfall awaits him. Lacking diversity, original anxieties, his inspiration dries up. Soon, resigned to anonymity and even intrigued by his mediocrity, he will assume the mask of a bourgeois from nowhere in particular. Thus he reaches the end of his lyrical career, the most stable point of his degeneration.

4. Become cuck

Don't most people here just enjoy the dream that they'd have a girl around long enough to become a cuck. Aren't all the Veeky Forumstles deprived of sex and see sexual power as the only measure of their manhood? Aren't you also, like that devout consumer, saying you are needing to be measured by your normy manhood? Shouldn't you be worried about me becoming a bull too?

3. (YOU) LAST

underrated

I'm worried that I wasn't made to be a writer. I write and write and write and it's all trash. None of it goes anywhere. I'm scared I'm wasting my life.

I need to study for upcoming exams but all I wanna do is read read some Keynes books and masturbate.

No, cuckoldry is.
>tfw wife gets banged and I have more time to read

1. Stop masturbating

my dream is to be trilingual and have a library of books in all three languages.

we all have a place in God's plan, my nigger