Put in an excerpt of my novel

learn to use fucking commas

Learn to use Google.

>Jack London
Ehhh, I'll take that.

LOL

>put in an extract from 2 weeks ago
>you write like arthur clarke
>put in an extract from today
>you write like anne rice
i think i got worse

>How do I fix my prose so my writing isn't YA-tier, Veeky Forums?
stop writing incomplete sentences as if you're speaking rather than writing.

I know you're doing it you son of a bitch

Post your text alongside your results so we can actually criticize its algorithm.

I got HG Wells with this

Honest men follow the rules they set. Viktor smoked outside his bar. The snow plummeted from the moonless sky, invisible shards of ice more numerous than the stars they replaced. The wind rendered the portico useless, driving Viktor to hunch beside the door. The ember between his fingers was a lonely source of warmth and he held it close.

At the edge of sight, a snow hill swayed towards him. As it approached, a dim outline began to establish itself. Though obscured by gusts of powder, it was clearly equine, or perhaps equine-like. The growing mound of frost on its back tilted precariously with each step. At last it fell, shining, briefly, into the darkness, and it was this that provoked Viktor to action.

i got the same exact results. There's no way that we write similarly

I put in The Dead and I got out H G Wells, but upon review I think stylistically it's not *that* far off - not at the end, at least. Yours has a lot of the same quality.

From The Time Machine, for comparison:
>So I travelled, stopping ever and again, in great strides of a thousand years or more, drawn on by the mystery of the earth’s fate, watching with a strange fascination the sun grow larger and duller in the westward sky, and the life of the old earth ebb away. At last, more than thirty million years hence, the huge red-hot dome of the sun had come to obscure nearly a tenth part of the darkling heavens. Then I stopped once more, for the crawling multitude of crabs had disappeared, and the red beach, save for its livid green liverworts and lichens, seemed lifeless. And now it was flecked with white. A bitter cold assailed me. Rare white flakes ever and again came eddying down. To the north-eastward, the glare of snow lay under the starlight of the sable sky, and I could see an undulating crest of hillocks pinkish white. There were fringes of ice along the sea margin, with drifting masses farther out; but the main expanse of that salt ocean, all bloody under the eternal sunset, was still unfrozen.

>Vladimir Nabokov
Nice

"The line of concrete cut apart street and sidewalk, streaming downwards parallel to the rainy water, intermittently cut by black faults.
Johnny walked over them like a child would, stepping one foot and moving the other to the front in a compass's smooth motion, before changing weights between legs."
>tfw text I came up with on the spot sounds like Stephen King

heh

I put in the second paragraph of Blood Meridian and it returned Tolkien. Something from Joyce's Portrait and it returned Fleming.

I don't think it's very accurate.

>Joyce
N-noice

>might of
Stopped right there.

Athur C Clarke, for both my fiction and nonfiction.

Never read him, but 2001: A Space Odyssey is my favorite movie.

It's encouraging for me, because I want to be uncanny.

j.k. rowling for one piece, cory doctorow for another (no clue who that is), niel gaiman for a third.

>Charles Dickens
Not sure how to feel about this.

not sure if i would take this seriously, i just inputted a section of Hegel and it tells me he writes like Edgar Allen Poe

It has a limited number of authors. You can see the full list on the about page

I did three different extracts, and got Tolstoy, Nabokov and Stephen King. Makes you think

Maybe you should stop vacillating in tone so much

I'm a weeb.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I got Dan Brown. I-is he a good writer anons?

I STILL write like stephen king, but I guess there are worse people to write like. He sure as fuck made a buck or two.

Just for laughs, here's the site's list of available authors stolen from the "about" page (in alphabetical order by FIRST name for some god forsaken reason):
Agatha Christie, Anne Rice, Arthur Clarke, Arthur Conan Doyle, Bram Stoker, Charles Dickens, Chuck Palahniuk, Cory Doctorow, Dan Brown, Daniel Defoe, David Foster Wallace, Douglas Adams, Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway, George Orwell, Gertrude Stein, H. G. Wells, H. P. Lovecraft, Harry Harrison, Ian Fleming, Isaac Asimov, J. D. Salinger, J. K. Rowling, J. R. R. Tolkien, Jack London, James Fenimore Cooper, James Joyce, Jane Austen, Jonathan Swift, Kurt Vonnegut, L. Frank Baum, Leo Tolstoy, Lewis Carroll, Margaret Atwood, Mario Puzo, Mark Twain, Mary Shelley, Neil Gaiman, Oscar Wilde, P. G. Wodehouse, Ray Bradbury, Raymond Chandler, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, Stephen King, Stephenie Meyer, Ursula K. Le Guin, Vladimir Nabokov, William Gibson, and William Shakespeare.

Okay, I gave it shot. Keep in mind I'm a complete noob when it comes to writing so it may read a bit noobish, of course. But it did gave me David Foster Wallace, though. Am I being memed?

Here goes:
> Wayne gets on the greyhound bus bound for Olympia, Makes a slow bee-line for the backseats on plops down on the second last row to his right, his back against the window and his leg on the seat. The weather is tremendously warm, as usual around Fresno, California at this time of year, but Wayne wears, nonetheless, a black leather jacket and well-fitting jeans, his mind is too busy ruminating thoughts of frustration and bitterness to mind the heat. But he can take it, that constant nagging in the back of his head, for Wayne is now leaving the source of his despair. For good. He goes where every young man in his situation would naturally go, and is set on his decision....

George Orwell.

Rather than DFW, I'd say your writing reminds me of DoomsdayJesus

meant for

mind posting your text?

>post first half of piece
>dan brown
>post second half
>nabokov

BEHOLD, THE WINNER OF Veeky Forums

Wow you really developed as a writer over the course of that piece!

I tried a few more and they all came up as David Foster Wallace, and but so I guess that settles it

Who else here /DFW/ master race?

Don't ipload your writing to tat site. When you do it you are effectively let them take your ideas and claim as their own before you even tried to get published. Don't let them do it. If they were serious about comparing you to other writers, they would've released an app which you could run on your pc.

It's an open source code, you could download it and run it yourself m8

Literally what are they going to steal from a single paragraph.

>And so here you are, assimilated-no synthesized, yes synthesized...it's all rather Hegelian-come to think of it...whole damn life's been Hegelian. The metaphysical gives you the ol' wink and spins you around...first with technology...immersing yourself in projected pornographic images-and lemme tell you that was some top tier porn-but it's not the images that embed themselves, but rather their method of creation, so much so that one night as you sit on the ground watching your object of affection, Pap walks in and says-and I know he says this to you Grant-he says "Son, you best stop trying to fuck that damn Roomba"...and so you do...immersing yourself in other escapist pursuits...its 1962 now, big ol' lit Cubano hovering dangerously close to the fuse of nuclear war...that don't matter though, no, what matters is the child that's born-In August perhaps-history has no use for him now but...decades go by...and he's about to walk onto the stage, black hair slicked back and smiling...smiling at what? 1979 of course, the Shah's gone Foucault cheers at the revolution which embedded itself in Western consciousness in the trenches of the Somme...and he's there too, good old 1979...you like him don't you? So much that...hey what are you doing? You can't be him...can you? The question been posed before...who was its? The ambiguously racist one or the chimp faced blonde? Who gives a shit? Back to the knee slapping shenanigans, perversion of the world and conventions...spiraling upward to the stratosphere of banality but never quite surpassing...refraining from piercing. And that's fine, there are other places for that, your friends the troll man and the bird.

I sent this to my friend at 3:00 AM while I was drunk off my ass. Is this a good thing?

Absolute garbage. Po-mo in all the wrong ways. Contrived, yet devoid of substance. Verbose, without saying anything. A thin veneer of profundity masking excrement.

I know the writing is shit, I was wondering if I can deceive others into thinking the writing is good.

You could probably get the pseud Pynchon crowd on board if it had a little more structure.

Check out the filename.

>In an introspection, in a calm inspection of his own many negatives, Mercurius found his taste for jests to be the one that stood out the most. Next came his needless verbosity. With his nature being that of an inconsiderate man, he was severely unequipped to speak the necessary words at the necessary time in the necessary amounts. He acknowledged that fact.
>In fact, he was doing it right now. The meaning of the deluge of letters he had just spouted out forth could easily be boiled down to the simple and meager four word sentence of "I talk too much." He was a wordsmith that refined the complicated and reforged the straightforward into the complex. That is how he preferred to percieve and present his thoughts. It was small wonder those environing him would consider him vexing.

Got Ian Fleming and Chuck Palahniuk

>hurr i was only pretending to be retarded

>Female
>Named Howard
Parents that do this should be sent to gulags.

Please post the screenshot where the guy just wrote "Nigger" fifty times and got James Joyce as a result

>I could not know what I was facing. My fate branched and breached into an endless bleed of disgusting turns. With the gun on my hand, I felt a pulse clamoring to get out, end this all for once. Yet I knew there was more to it, and even if it was a destiny worse than death, it will make a hell of a story for generations to come.
>Bram Stoker
nice result considering i punched this shit in less than a minute

Reported. sage'd

lmao

>iwl.me/s/c3e0655f
same.
Shows how retarded this page must be then.
>Only thing I ever felt the need to write and keep jocked down. Years ago when I was a teen and english is not my second language, so be gentle user.
Rushing onto the platform the immediate goal was to find an open cart. Two seats (quick!) so all of us would sit next to a friend. We ran, but we were too slow. Only one of us found a two seater so they called to one another to wait till next round and to try again. They called to me too, even though I had already accepted the change in circumstances and was willing to join a random cart of a stranger’s which still had a seat open. As I heard the call I had already placed my foot on the step of such a cart and my arms were hanging by the guard but still I immediately followed the whisk and stood back down. Only then did my eyes look up to see who was already seated in the cart. Filled with childlike excitement and the rush to find a spot I didn’t care to look at any faces. The sound of many boots pounding on the rigged metall, shouting to one another over comical circus music and an announcer over the speakers, were enough distraction and cause for confusion and disorientation. All this I only now realized though, as in shock I looked up and froze as I saw a black haired girl fixating a hurt pair of eyes on me. Her loomy and near menacing appearance complemented so delicately with the pallor of her face. Dark was her dress, dark were her eyes, her lips, her lashes, her rings, her bands, but darkest was her hair. A sense of calmness came oozing from her. A radiant comfortness that girls have but her’s was an inky one. Her bright skin

I pasted the entire novella and got Agatha Christie. I have never read anything by her. Is she any good, Veeky Forums?

look I write about domestic shit, I dramatize my banal bourgeois existence, yummy

Guys? I think it's broken.

>Margaret Atwood
Eh, okay then.

Only Shakespeare and the Bible have sold more books. Start with either The Murder on the Orient Express, And Then There were None or Crooked House, whichever you know nothing about.

He is their god: he leads them like a thing
Made by some other deity than nature,
That shapes man better; and they follow him,
Against us brats, with no less confidence
Than boys pursuing summer butterflies,
Or butchers killing flies.

>get this
Fuck this site.

I put in MY SWEET LITTLE NORA'S FARTIES and it said James Joyce. Decent, though I wonder if so many people put that shit in they might just skip the analysis altogether and react to the copypaste.

kek

>Cory Doctorow

Who

iwl.me/s/d7939cdb
i kek'd

An internet writer. I know it's played out, but he really is pretty much just Reddit.

>Robert Louis Stevenson

Im okay with this

>bourgeois
Jesus, I never thought I would be called bourgois.

If you grew up in a western country after WWII you are bourgeois

kek
sweet LARP dude, but when does the actual bait kick in?

I wrote something in the first person and got Meyer but switch to another narrative form and you will get someone different.

savage

>Fuck niggers. They're useless creatures. I'm gonna murder all of them. Fuck yeah boi lets do this shit. Pop pop nigga shop. Get rekt while I shoot my glock. YA YA. Getting money. That's right getting money. Gonna fuck some hoes while I make some money.
>You write like J.D Salinger
Ah yes....

Yikes

I got Jack London, too. Can't complain.

joyce you mother fuckers

>A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now. It is too late. The Evacuation still proceeds, but it's all theatre. There are no lights inside the cars. No light anywhere. Above him lift girders old as an iron queen, and glass somewhere far above that would let the light of day through. But it's night. He's afraid of the way the glass will fall--soon--it will be a spectacle: the fall of a crystal palace. But coming down in total blackout, without one glint of light, only great invisible crashing.

>Arthur C. Clarke

Bourgoise are the independently wealthy middle class between the common man and the aristocrats. Unless you own a factory or some other means of production you're not fucking middle class or bourgoise. I really wish more Marxists would stop being such a fucking retard about this.

>HP Lovecraft
iwl.me/s/147eabd8
>What am I supposed to feel

Show, don't tell.

>How do I fix my YA-tier prose?
Perhaps you should stop taking seriously a test designed for YA-heads, stupid
Anyways here's my result Arthur Clarke

Pretty sure the algorithm goes like this: there is assigned a bunch of words to each author. For example, when I typed "words words words...(n times)" my result was Lewis Carroll, but when I typed "prose" the same amount of times my result was Edgar Allan Poe, when I typed "frogs" I got Jonathan Swift. A bigger amount of the same words pointed towards the same author so the quantity is irrelevant.
Further than that I was pretty confused so I typed a jibjabber word which has no chance to have been written before by anyone else (not even Joyce) over and over again and got Agatha Christie. I spammed a single letter and got Gertrude Stein. Tried with other letters, same result. Tried more and less letters, same result. Tried a succession of letters, same result. I thought the number of spaces between letters influences the bot as well. So I tried to simply type a letter with a space over and over again. Got David Foster Wallace. Did the same thing with a succession of random letters, same result. Of course it's a spectrum after all. Zero spaces between your words amount to Gertrude Stein, maximum of spaces amount to DFW. Maybe there's more than meets the eye but I'm not trying any more combos. Gotta go and read something.
Note: when I say I "typed" I mean I control-c-ed, control-v-ed and laid it down

iwl joyce
fite me proselets

>Ian Fleming
This is my first time writing anything, guess I'm set to make the moolah. See you later fagets.

does this make sense?

it makes a lot of sense

I don't trust this thing. Posted 6 paras of a chapter and got Anne Rice. Posted first 4 of the same 6 and got DFW. Guess I forgot about all those vampire rapes

hahahahhahahahaha suck it retards

Not enough snarky sarcasm, but I can see the similarity

pic related

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