ITT: we fix classic quotes

Fat Fuck Buck waddled down the stairs, and everyone was hoping he'd trip and gash his jugular on the razor that was resting on the faggy little dish he insisted on carrying around.

Hello, my name is Ishmael

I am so depressed and angry and alcoholic that it's made me physically ill, and I'm also a hypochondriac.

It is only a hickey

"People aren't as religious as they used to be."

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But CIA doesn't interrupt Bane, Bane leaves a pretty decent gap for him to respond.

>Fat Fuck Buck

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>A loud noise comes across the sky
>It was the best and worst of times
>*mentions death* That's just how it is
>I'm gonna call myself Ishmael
>Girl, tell me about how Achilles was mad
>Welcome to the water
>I just want to catch kids in a field as employment.

KABOOM! Mama made cinnamon buns!

KABOOM! We got dawgie!

The starry heavens above me and Tyrone's cock inside me.

My sweet caring mother, I did as you told me, you darling thing, and woke myself up when I heard your crashing. I am delighted that you do like making pancakes for me. Yes, now I can remember that morning when I dined with you for so long, so hungrily. It was the fluffiest batch of pancakes you ever gave me, mother. My fork was stuck in my mouth for hours, shoveling in and in those lovely steaming hotcakes. I felt your craftsmanship on my tongue and saw the care you used in your baking. At every bite I took the marvelous flavor came bursting past my lips and if I chewed it for a while longer than usual, lovely gobs of syrup came rushing from the dough. I had a plateful of pancakes that morning, mother, and I ate every single one, big turgid ones, flat cakey ones, round fluffy ones and a lot of tiny little hotcakes ending in a lovely feeling of euphoria. It is wonderful to eat from a plate of fluffy pancakes when each cake reveals another one under it. I think I would know my mother's pancakes anywhere. I think I could pick hers out of a table full of pancakes. It is a rather light batter she uses, not like the thick flowing one I imagine other mothers make. It is creamy and soft and sweet like what a master chef would prepare for the most high paying of his customers. I hope you will make no end of your pancakes in my kitchen so that I may know their taste always.

>it was the best and worst of times
My favorite

>Jesus started bawling.

>Are you a summer's day? You're hot.

Pffffffffffft kek

A modern masterpiece.

>Mother died today. It might have been yesterday, but that hardly matters anymore.

>Let's say my name is Ishmael, although that is not my real name.

Ten/10, would come again.

The sky above the port was the color of youtube, watching a dead channel.

1Da time wen eryting had start, God wen make da sky an da world. 2Da world come so no mo notting inside, no mo shape notting. On top da wild ocean dat cova eryting, neva had light notting. Ony had God Spirit dea, moving aroun ova da watta.

"Lolita... The light of my wife, the fire for my joints. My sin, my grin. Lol-eater; the top of my tongue taking a vacation three feet away to tap on a plate, for some reason, with my teets. Lolit. A. She was Lolit, plain Lolit, in the morning, standing eight feet six in one shoe. She was Loooool in slacks. She was Lmao at school. She was Dolores when she was eating a vegetable. But my arms were always tortillas."

>Would anyone like to exchange their horse for my kingdom, the kingdom of England? I'd say it's a rather advantageous exchange, at least under normal circumstances. Anyone?

holy shit

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>The word for thunder is, in many languages, more or less imitative of the actual physical phenomenon. Here are a few examples, strung together to more accutely illustrate the effect:

Oh my fucking god

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>All happy families are equally boring, and I can't really write a story where everything goes well, because who cares, lol? But there are so many ways in which I can imagine things going to shit. Hmmm, what shall it be this time? Let's see...

That's nice, Pangloss, but seriously, let's get to work on these fucking plants.

I finally understood this meme. Thx

>Go to the library, fast
We need more peggy threads

Mirror, mirror, on the ground, whom seems to be the most brown?

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>be phoneposter
>mistake this for a jin roh screenshot

nice

>Lo-li-ta: the name had three syllables.

Kek

>Hey its me, your ghost dad! Boy it's hot down here. It sucks being dead
>Dude wtf?!
>You should kill your uncle.
>Lol k Dad

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>His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead; and The Dead is better than my next book Ulysses although history will think otherwise"

Going along the river, past Adam and Eve's house, around all of the bendy bit, brings us in a circle back to a Castle.

That which is can always become nothing in itself.

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Let the essence of something be the objective of the impressions of it.

i haven't laughed like this in a while, thanks user

Kevin wept.

/thread

The sky was the color of a smart TV set to Input 3.

i wish i was young again lol i remember spain lol it was so nice lol i used to be so cute back then lol and there was this guy too lol he was totally like marry me lol and then i was like ok LOL

Romeo, oh Romeo. Where are you, Romeo?

This is art.

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Crash! MOM DOG!

It is rare indeed that one should find in literature for someone to say "Crash! Mother got a hound". Instead the connotation shall always be of the most sincere sadness and tragic.

>To Be* or not to Be*
>*I use Be with a capital 'B' here due to my extensive reading of Heidegger...

Dasein or das not sein at all?

To road to hell is paved in good will

Better to live a hundred days getting pussy than a thousand being a virgin

The examined life is worth living

>what is Leviticus
Forgive user father, for he does not read the new testament from the perspective that it was written for the Jews who already understood the old testament

Hey Mr Tambourine man,
I want to buy you drugs
Oh yeah, lyrics are literature
The Nobel comitee says so

Do whatever you want lol

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Oh, my mom? She's. . . gone to other places. Something like that. Since yesterday? I don't really remember

>Welcome to the water
>I just want to catch kids in a field as employment.
>A loud noise comes across the sky
Who wants to play another game of "let's spoonfeed the brainlet"?

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What's your fucken problem? This is a humorous, bully-free thread.

A daring synthesis.

Lmao

>Welcome to the water
David Foster Wallace, probs
>A loud noise comes across the sky
Gravity's rainbow

>The uninseminated wife is not worth living

Second is Catcher in the Rye. Come on Kyoko, you haven't even read that one?

I'm unhealthy and have a bad attitude. I think I have a liver problem I should get checked out.

>Here's to looking at your kid
not Veeky Forums but whatever
uh
>you will put the pot on angel

My diary desu?

>March 15th save the date

I love lumpy Complan

I just cannot get enough lumpy Complan

More lumps please

>if its not chandler or hammett i will genuinely be surprised.

I've never read a book in my entire life. Not even, in the least, had one read to me. I do however masturbate frequently in my local small-time bookstore near the "vintage books" shelf while the owner watches. He lets me have a go at it because my ejaculate gives his books an "exclusive and original character". Anyway, I'm off for a walk about now, cheers lad.

kek

I think therefore I'm.

You should be hurt for doing this

Jesus, calm down. He was evidently referring to himself.

>1 Samuel 25
Who was in the wrong here?

The first is Moby Dick, second is Lolita and the last is from the gospel of John, I think (God's Word).
>

It's from Fathers and Moms by Lermontov.

A rose is a flower.

May I please have more