You see a cutie at the coffee shop reading this. what do you do?

>Are you an intellectual?

light it on fire

Tell her its okay to skip all the Johnny Truant shit.

Why does this book have such poor ratings?

>mfw mark """"Z"""" (super cool name!) dneilizeniafksi tried to put a bunch of god damn bullshit about truants mom at the end of the book
I don't even know how to rate HoL, which i guess is unfortunately kind of a compliment, because i would also say i don't know how to rate Infinite Jest
i'm sure this is exactly what Mark """"Z"""" (SO AWESOME HIS NAME IS Z) dnaionefaoiwfewaksi wanted to have happen, which i feel really bad about letting it happen

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MZD should have either died or kil hisself right after releasing the book or at least shortly after, that surely would have established his legacy and made the comparison more fair and applicable

rankings
1. navidsons
2. whalestoe letters
3. johny
3. holloway
4. zampano
5. anything to do with the Minotaur

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turn 360 degrees and walk out the door

get out of my way roasties reeeeeeeeee

Because it's bad

killing yourself is extremely good for the brand

Nothing. I am a faithful boyfriend.

Offer to hold the book up upside down for her to read the upside down parts, all while casually showing off my biceps since I'm/fit/lit/

thots begone!! REEEEEE NEE NAW NEE NAW

Talk to her and while doing so tell her you love books with adhd-style typographical gimmicks (because you should) and have other books to recommend like The Tunnel by William Gass.

walk up to her and place an order for a coffee as if she were a worker there. once she gives me a strange look i pretend to realize what iv done and apologize while explaining im a world traveler and iv just come from a five year journey across cultures to understand my self and that i just returned to the states yesterday so in still getting back into the swing things in this boring country. i then ask if it would be too bold of me to request to sit at her table in the European style to which she blushes and agrees. i then "notice" that she is reading and lean over to glance at the page shes on. once in positing i give a sign and say "oh its printed in late english...reading books is nice...i guess, but i prefer to peruse literature". she will then gather the sense of mind to attempt to banter words with me and exclaim "oh only peruse? i dont like speed reading" (for she like other rabble will not know the actual definition of the word). i will give a loud and overlong cruel laugh that draws the attention of the rest of the café shop and mutter under my breath "the things i put up with for love". she will feel embarrassed but drawn to me in equal measure which is the moment i will suggest we go to her place so that i can "smell her holes" while giving a forceful slow wink. the last line ill say too loudly which will embarrass her even more causing her to get up and leave. i will then follow her to her destination

>stand in front of her
>get her attention
>look her in the eyes
>start reciting
>"you quench my thirst like the shadows quenches the leaves, you give my roots water like a jew handles the fees"
>wait for a response

Tell her she fell for the gimmick

Move along like every other fucking day.

t. Happily Married Veeky Forumsizen with two kids

Wife her.

A real treasure. There will be no one else like her.

I've never found a girl who is willing to read this book.

kek'd and checked

> IMPLYING A GIRL WOULD EVER SPEAK TO YOU NEANDERTHALS LOL LMAO

good lord, I don't remember the last time I had a conversation with a girl

o ya well my mom talks to me all the time and she's a very nice older lady!

kek

What's this book like?

BASED

it's good but also really pretentious and lots of idiot hipsters think it's the best thing ever