ITT

Inmate
Inmate

ITT: Describe your favorite book in the most shitty way possible.

Prot is a big winny edgy bitch
The villain is a guy who wants to live more, by killing people
All the other characters have almost no importance
Everyone acts like a teenager

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Snarelure
Snarelure

For what reason?

SniperWish
SniperWish

That describes several books in the Veeky Forums top 100

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

protagonist is a criminal
keeps whining about the court system, even though they're treating him incredibly nicely
insists he's done nothing wrong when literally everyone knows that he has

eGremlin
eGremlin

your favorite book better not be harry potter, user

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

nope

Supergrass
Supergrass

main guy is fucking crazy
becomes friends with this fat dumbass
hallucinates like he's on acid or something
everyone thinks he's a retard and he fucks up all the time

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Hamlet

girlDog
girlDog

Infinite Jest

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Not, but Now that I think about it, It really sounds like that doesn't it?

5mileys
5mileys

protagonist is a god damn super human
keeps whining because muh I'm a mutant
gets cucked like 6 times
every character is a complete asshole
Most deaths are unnecesary and kinda confusing
important girl is a fucking brat and a degenerate. Loves dicks and pussy

idontknow
idontknow

Performance Anomalies?

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

Could be Friday (Heinlein)

Emberburn
Emberburn

Wow I thought I was pretty damn specific.
The Witcher series you fucks.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

I was going to guess the Witcher!

SniperWish
SniperWish

Never heard of 'em. This sort of thread only works if everyone's read the books :(

RavySnake
RavySnake

You know, that book sounds pretty interesting. Brb downloading the pdf

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

literal retard gets the attention of the 2 hottest bitches in town and gets none because he fucks up

StonedTime
StonedTime

Veeky Forums
Reading books
Well too late user

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

The Idiot?

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

My fucking life?

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

A raging drunk goes crazy because his oneitis treats him like a beta cuck.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

ye

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

my diary desu

happy_sad
happy_sad

/r9k/

takes2long
takes2long

my life

whereismyname
whereismyname

Benjy's a mentally retarded manchild.
Caddy's a whore who's trying to see her daughter.
Jason's a cynical fraud with a shitty job and contempt for his siblings and mother.
Watch as J.C. tries desperately and pettily to keep his crumbling family together on the hit new sitcom...
"The Compsons"
*cut to Dilsey in the kitchen with a rolling pin*
"Aw hell no! You have a deathwish, child!"
Fridays on CBS

Lunatick
Lunatick

Don Quixote

cum2soon
cum2soon

gay manlets only friend is autistic
they fuck around with a bunch of depressed faggots
thot gets rekt
sperg fucking dies
the end

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Playboyize
Playboyize

dude goes on and on off topic and therefore 'seemingly' about nothing for what seems like forever.
by far and away my favorite book, anons..

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

author can't even spell right for the first part of the book
Protagonist is either a winny genius or a dumbass
A typical love triangle
"Muh IQ"

TreeEater
TreeEater

It's like someone wrote fanfiction of the Wikipedia page for whales.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

start out as autistic rambling about how people don't understand him
actually has some good criticisms of modernity
turns out he's a real life robot who does retarded shit IRL
he blames everyone but himself

SniperWish
SniperWish

Dracula?

RumChicken
RumChicken

Wait are you a weeb? Death Note?

StonedTime
StonedTime

PDG?

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Catcher in the rye?

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

The Stranger

Tropic of Cancer

Illusionz
Illusionz

Notes

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

A very scatter-brained man tries to write his autobiography but can't get past his fifth year in the course of six hundred pages.

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Need_TLC
Need_TLC

no

Booteefool
Booteefool

You forgot "Quentin wants to fuck his sister"

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

nice

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

It's Brothers Karamazov

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

Quentin's dead, bruv. The Sitcom picks up from Easter 1928.

Booteefool
Booteefool

Well that's an obvious one. Mind you he gives plenty of love to wikipedia pages on ships too.

happy_sad
happy_sad

Just, like, be moral man

askme
askme

Blood Meridian.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

Man, I can't believe the producers retconned the Quentin flashbacks. What a gyp.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

One Flew Over..?

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Not so fast...

The first season arc is all about the mystery surrounding the family's slow demise. The two-part season finale is Caddy finally getting to have lunch with her daughter, who asks her mother whom she was named after...which beings us to season two, which will have a six-episode flashback arc with Quentin's childhood and downfall.

w8t4u
w8t4u

The Gulag Archipellago

hairygrape
hairygrape

(YOU)
I can't even kek at this bait

Techpill
Techpill

nope

Methshot
Methshot

Great Gatsby

Emberfire
Emberfire

Sounds like quite a Lynchian sitcom

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

some fucking autist wanders around bitching about everyone he meets
kind of a pompous asshole as well
his friend is too cool for this shit but is probably bored as fuck
won't shut the fuck up about his goddamned bitch

Nojokur
Nojokur

no

takes2long
takes2long

The Idiot

massdebater
massdebater

The Trial

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

man lusts after prepubescent girl

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Faust

farquit
farquit

lol

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

catcher in the rye

w8t4u
w8t4u

got it, sorry for the late (You)

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

Has to be The Rings of Saturn.

WebTool
WebTool

Confederacy of dunces?

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

guy with a clubfoot his girlfriend it's a bitch

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

Kid comes from Christcuck family
Thinks about philosophical nonsense
Does some gay shit
Gets terrified of holy retribution
Wow it's fucking nothing

girlDog
girlDog

Portrait?

viagrandad
viagrandad

Finally someone gets it

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

no one?

TreeEater
TreeEater

Protag has a dream
Nobody like his dream
Says "fuck society" and does it anyway
Spends his entire fortune pursuing this dream
Bank repocesses all of his shit
Is now penniless
Mooches off his dad for awhile
Comes up with batshit crazy conspiracy theories to justify the fact he's penniless and ostracized from the rest of society.

TechHater
TechHater

gotta breath some better air
oh no now my lung is fucked
let's think about time

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

The MM

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

man lives in harmony
woman ruins it

Soft_member
Soft_member

Hamlet?

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

Of mice and men

w8t4u
w8t4u

Flowers for algernon

SniperGod
SniperGod

shipping down a long river
The Horror, the horror

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

The beginning of the old testament

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

Get the fuck out of my way and let me do as I please

MPmaster
MPmaster

it's the hare and the tortoise but in wessex
nothing interesting happens at all

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

Like Sebald, but no. Better guess than I anticipated, though.

cum2soon
cum2soon

To Kill a Mockingbird

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

Heart of Darkness

Emberburn
Emberburn

I need to know what this is

Emberfire
Emberfire

Got it

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

Lolita

askme
askme

Some old guy keeps trying to get handsy with a little girl
He doesn't get she's not into it anymore

hairygrape
hairygrape

an eclectic group of well meaning American gentlemen find themselves wandering through the deserts of Mexico occasionally incuring disagreements with the local populace due to cultural misunderstandings

TreeEater
TreeEater

The screenplay of Sicario.

whereismyname
whereismyname

Tristram Shady
Meditations

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

catcher??

5mileys
5mileys

A teacher cheats to help an autistic girl win a creative writing competition while a female assassin kills Jesus. The two decide to meetup to hold hands.

SniperWish
SniperWish

Industrial Society and it's future?

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

400 pages of complaining and misanthropy

Soft_member
Soft_member

Fuckboy fantasizes about his lesbian friend
everybody gets some except for him, naturally

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

my diary desu

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

dad fucking dies
priest fucking dies
have a big fuck off party a few towns over
everybody gets epilepsy, consumption or autism

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

new gf has a moderate personality disorder
also has a husband
thinks train stations are an appropriate place to threaten suicide

Supergrass
Supergrass

wealthy patricians leave the plebs to die to the plague
living the literary lifestyle until they start workshopping writing to each other and all subtly realise they'd be better off sticking to YA

Soft_member
Soft_member

Kek

takes2long
takes2long

a bunch of nerds get cucked by a cripple
criminal shit going on in mexico
apparently you didnĀ“t get shot in ww2 if you looked scary
the guy that invented three flavor ice cream waffles was a genius in many fieds but only got credits for the waffles

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

You can tell they're well meaning; one of them is a judge!

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

protagonist isn't even the main character in most of it
mostly just fighting scenes
they're all dry and formulaic
story takes forever to get anywhere

Firespawn
Firespawn

lazy man considers doing things, eventually decides not to

RumChicken
RumChicken

Cats kill each other and rant about pseudophilosophy

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