Confidence/Self-Improvment Thread?

I only drink beer 3 nights a week any other days i switch to liquor and cut out all soda nothing really inside i stopped being as much of a dick and walk 14 miles plus a day

I only got super unflattering face pictures atm

I have no fashionable clothes and no idea where to start. want to look like Fletcher and Wyatt shears

literally go to a thrift store and buy anything that's either too tight or too big

lmao

I hate the idea of going to bars and shit. Even parties. Last party I went to I felt so out of place I sat outside and waited for my ride. I think I want to learn another instrument like the guitar. Other than playing video games I don't have many hobbies. I'd love to play this someday youtube.com/watch?v=mluf_nwY9bs

go out to a local used guitar store and ask for cheap recommendations ASAP. buy a low wattage amp and a chord and you're good. use ultimate guitar to learn an easy song like come as you are by nirvana, and just practice it as much as you can at a slow temp till you can play faster. if you talk to anyone at a store they can hook you up just say you don't know what you're doing and be ready to drop a few hundred dollars. the hardest part is getting started

also lurk on /mu/ because developing your taste is a good idea. just remember every day you don't do it is a day less practice you'll have

Great thread dude, finally start to see better threads popping up now and then. You are doing gods work man.

Sounds like a plan. I guess I better start saving then. Luckily I found a place that isn't guitar center close to me. Is there a particular reason to go electric over the regular types?

yeah avoid guitar center. are you asking electric vs acoustic? definitely go with electric unless you want to play folk or classical, you'll understand when you pick one up. what kind of music do you listen to right now? I can try to give you some more info. I play a lot of angry thrash and extreme metal and punk which I find to be by far the most fun things to play, so electric is crucial for me.

I mainly listen to hip hop. I try to keep an open mind to music though. The last albums I listened to with heavy uses of guitar was Mac Demarco's 2, Yvette Young's ep and a J-rock band called Tricot.

HOLY SHIT I haven't been following this thread much at all but how do you know such GOAT artists, just wanted to say Tricot and yvette young are both fucking great

everything you've given me including that ost you posted are played with different types of guitars, I'd recommend definitely picking up a nice standard electric guitar, active and passive pickups both have their merits. I don't think I can help you much from here bud, just go into a shop and be honest, say you have no idea where to begin but you want to start playing and they'll help you out. go with their recommendations. also this is unrelated but you should try picking up skateboarding if you don't skate already, I find it's a great way to meet people once you start hanging at parks, and a great way to burn calories if you cruise around. Most of my social life revolves around local punk shows and skating, but I used to be in a very similar place to you in terms of having nothing to do and no enjoyableway to meet people

I was browsing a sharethread on /mu/ and Yvette was described as "Math rock sung by a disney princess" so I thought why not? I think I found Tricot in the same thread, or digging through the sharethread archives and I saw this picture, and the "Math Rock" genre. and this youtube.com/watch?v=uvMyCFAVIqs

That sounds fun I wanted to skate when I was younger but there was only gravel road everywhere. I've been considering a bike since I hear its good cardio (and that Flaked show made it look comfy as fuck)

Punk rocker here
I can say going to a punk show is a good way to make friends as long as you aint a douche

where do you live man? punk is alive in seattle

Last summer we were out drinking with some of my buddies and some dude came up, asked to take a pic cause he liked my style that much.
Felt sincere.
Only mirin story desu.
Oh some other time out, my friend was rocking velvet blazer and a bow tie, all around a cringeworthy fit. Group of girls walked by, one of them shouted "I love your style, but I hate your friends". I was the friend, i was ballin tho.

Cinci ohio im the one posting from earlier in the thread

i wanna get buff as shit.
my torso currently

no bully pls

shit man I thought you were the one asking about the guitar stuff. what are you listening to these days

lookin sexy, no homo.
Lack of traps and shoulders tho

Just picked these up the other day

Currently tho

thanks for feedback.
now i have something new to work on :^]
ive honestly been working out only my chest and arms trying to get more size because when i started my body was similar to a 12 year old boy's.

sickkkkkkkkk
give me some local punk you think I should hear I've never been to cinci
here's a taste of seattle areyouacop.bandcamp.com/album/passionate-one

Local fave , also i got a epiphone sg
dsacincinnati.bandcamp.com
Current jacket workin on waitin on studs n mail

I'm trying to improve my skin. I don't have bad acne, but some blemishes here and there, the occasional pimple. I've come a long way tho.

Been lifting, now trying to lose a bit of weight. It's amazing, I used to be a little chubby at 93kg/185cm (for real been lifting, without that I would have been seriously fat at those measurements), now down a few kilos and my shirts look a ton better around the waist area. Aiming for 82-84 kilos.

Always improving my freestyle rap skill. I know it sounds corny as fuck but it's a neat thing to do at parties and parks and such. I'm not a struggle rapper, I have other plans for making a career in. Trying to be more poetic and less traditional rapper type, been there done that.

I'm basically trying to regain my confidence after having it seriously damaged in elementary school and jr. high. My hands are often shaky. I wasn't really bullied about it, but people constantly making remarks kept me down. It's hard to seem confident when your hands are shaking.

for weight loss skin health and everything drink a shit ton of water. a gallon a day does magic, make sure you're keeping your sodium and potassium intake adequate though

I play a gibson sg rad af. also dsa sounds like they would be fucking killer live. how do I start a jacket, I have loads of pins and patches but haven't started anything yet

If you do leather, use paint pens dont use patches denim just sew on patches n studs , personal belief though is that if you add too many logos and not enough studs you just look like a nascar driver. On leather jackets i always just do the fron and back first just look some up and plan everything out first also make sure to get a black paint pent shits like magic eraser

Also just make sure to take your time and when you stud use. The ratio of 2:1:2

w2c a good leather jacket. I'm 6'3" and pretty lanky and nothing I've ever found thrifting worked well. thanks for the tips tho forreal

It took me 3 years to find this leather jacket and it still doesnt fit perfect but its the best i found heres my newest jacket ima chop into a vest. Got it for 4 bucks at good will in the womens isle ran outta studs though

add me on snapchat tacocataco I'm gonna pass out. nice work though honestly

desu I haven't been able to feel confident or take charge of any situation ever since I did acid for the first (and so far only) time. i took 3 tabs and ever since then I get panic-y and anxious socially way way easier, to the point where after about 20 minutes at any social gathering I just feel horribly depressed and uncomfortable and try to find a way to leave. To an extent I just feel like there's no real point in trying to put out this air of confidence, when its a falsity just for the benefit of social interaction. I don't feel confident because there's no real reason to, and there's almost nothing I feel truly confident in the integrity of, whether its a physical or mental thing within myself, or just in the world as a whole. And it sucks because I used to love being around and meeting new people, and I still just desperately crave more human connection and friendships, but its just really really difficult for me to actually feel connected to anyone anymore. It would be so cool for people to just be real with each other and not project their own egos so vividly.
does anyone have any advice/feelings about that

Take more acid

Are you wearing a fucking dress?

You faggots need to go outside more ffs.

I feel the same, user.
I'll use shrooms soon and it's my last hope to change my views or learn something positive about life.

Started lifting yesterday and using protein powder. Hoping to gain some upper body muscle mass and lower back to fit clothes in a more aesthetic way. They currently just drape all over but in an unflattering way due to how skinny I am. Also trying to compensate forweird part of my femur that sticks out making my lower body look wide and not good. Hopefully I can gain a pound a week and stop being a twig

i thought liquor had a lot of calories?

Varies on what licqor

I'm an immature 22 year old idiot who gets pissy when things don't immediately go my way. I've cut contact with girls immediately after they either canceled a date or didn't want too have sex. then hear from somebody else they really liked me.

But lately I've been acting almost the same way I do on Veeky Forums by being an straight up asshole.surprisingly getting better results from people I interact with.
thx faggots

who here /high self-esteem but no confidence/?
i just want a gf

give it some time. worked for me.

I have tried that.

just go to a thinspo thread and amaze them...
or better don't do it they are crazy norexic fucker that will drag you on their same problems.

There is some balance of both feeling good and looking good.
I don't always feel good when I look good.

I promise you will feel confident if you set goals and can actually meet them. Even just working on something helps.

If you want to start seeing what looks better then start watching runway shows. Start looking at lookbooks, or fancy tumblr pages and see what you like. You'll start to notice patters and how things are pulled off well. Then you just emulate that. Imitate until you can innovate. Also, be willing to spend some real money on clothes if you want to look your best. I don't know about you, but I can tell when a person has thrifted most of their stuff (not that there's anything wrong with that).

i have a friend like this, I think really only the asshole thing works for the beginning of relationships.

Hes really good at being loud and kinda a funny asshole and getting people to initially like him, but as they get to know him more and learn he isnt really the best dude they slowly cut him out.

If your going for deep or longlasting relationships you should probably change your ways before you have no friends

You could learn the guitar and be "that guy" at parties who just sits around and plays and gets people to come over to him by being good.

I used to twirl this levitating wand thing (then I lost it) and it used to attract a few people at whatever park I decided to practice in. Not that I was looking for conversation or anything, but if you are doing something interesting people will gravitate towards you. And if you can provide entertainment then everyone is happy.

You should ask yourself what video games are really doing for you. I asked myself this a few years back, but it took me a couple years to finally kick them. It was for the better honestly. Now I spend a ton of time reading, writing, making better connections with people. Hell, I even just sit a lot of the time, which imo, is better than games. I'm not saying they are bad for everyone, and if you have a valid reason beyond entertainment then you should do whatever makes you happiest. Consider long-term happiness, not short-term though.

Good luck.

This, and also, that every day you even pick up the guitar and strum one note that you are one step closer to being a better guitarist.

>i thought liquor had a lot of calories?

It does. Alcohol is calories. Beer has calories from alcohol and also from the malt whereas liquor only has calories from alcohol.

To get the same amount of drunk from beer or liquor, you intake more calories with beer.

Be the change you want to see (or something). Thank you!

I always think it's better to be polarizing than normal. Glad you have a style you are comfortable in, which is all that matters in the end.

If you want to get big go over to Veeky Forums. I don't know exactly what you are looking to do, but a routine is good when you have a goal in mind. I haven't bothered with a routine to get bigger in a long time, I just have a kettlebell, 25 lb. and use that for various weight exercises for 20 minutes in the morning. It works, and I am happy where I am at, so it's all maintenance (and any endorphin releases make me more efficient throughout the day!).

You already have a "good" body, it's a nice base to build from at least. If you want the societal beauty, and the most striking body, then you should be broadening your chest & shoulders a lot. Look up the Adonis ratio, it's what I used to determine when I was done getting any bigger. Also, if you don't want big legs don't go for the big leg exercises that people will try to push on you. Big legs don't look fashionable, haha.

Is there actually a scene in cinci? There's like a literal handful of people in Louisville that all fit into one house show if you're talking punk.

Water is good for this like the other user said. You will also want to eat as cleanly as possible, this will reduce weight and lead to better skin. You can lose weight by eating a burger and fries as your only meal other than breakfast, but it won't be good for your skin.

That's cool w/ the rapping. Do you have lyrics you don't mind posting (I know you said freestyle, but...)? I write poetry, I might be able to recommend something.

You've got to move into the feeling of nervousness (or the spasm if it's not controllable). You should be aware of it playfully. I used to (like 10+ years ago) get made fun of for being chubby in middle school, but once I started agreeing ("Yeah, I am the fattest guy around!") they stopped having fun. If you take control over what you can then you can have the confidence.

It's funny how you say you're disappointed by others who project their egos. Don't you see? You too are projecting your ego! If you weren't you wouldn't be trying to judge. Try and let your thoughts be what they are. Try and see if there is anything "real" about them. If we drop away attachment to thoughts (and the other 5 senses) then we see there is nothing but bliss, or Mind if you want to use Buddhist terms.

Your lack of connection may have something to do with your lack of connection with yourself. See, maybe before acid you thought you had an authentic relation with yourself, but after you realized it was fake (or that's what your body is trying to tell you). Now you need to rebuild that relationship so it can be stronger, then when you meet others you will be able to see and form better bonds with them.

All speculation, so make of it what you will, but I don't feel like your experience what meant to be negative overall.

Hey guys

Do you lack self confidence?

Have a shitty self image?

Feel "lost" or "out of place" in daily life?

well, you all should meditate

before you go and say that you "don't believe in magic" or any other dumb shit like that just read this article

washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/05/26/harvard-neuroscientist-meditation-not-only-reduces-stress-it-literally-changes-your-brain/

theres no hocus pocus here, just scientific facts

Make sure you eat well! Protein powder will only go so far. Also, consider not overdoing it. Work out, but don't push yourself as hard as you can go all the time. Once in a while is good, but, especially when first starting, the energy drain it gives (from rebuilding your muscles so much) will be demotivating. Wait until you have a habit before pushing yourself is my advice.

You'll make it, good job starting!

Well, not everyone is going to like you. If you weigh your own value on the actions of others then you will almost always feel let down. Try and work on one positive thing a day, something you improve yourself, and potentially others, while doing.

If you are acting like an ass hole that is who you will attract. Ask yourself who you really want to have in your life, then work on becoming that kind of person.

nah I've been meditating for 3 years straight. twice a day
bit of placebo

I think the two are very much linked. You might think you have a lot of confidence, but you need to answer yourself honestly: are you lying to yourself? If not, well please go more into your situation. Otherwise take some of the other good advice here and on the last thread (of it's alive).

Also, be comfortable with yourself before you work on a gf. You'll make it

Well, you don't always have to feel good. I am very confident, but I am just as anxious as anyone else at times. I always look good though, haha. (Yes that's cocky and presumptuous I am okay with that for now).

Try to accept when you feel bad and when you feel good. You can make the most out of a negative feeling.

You can call it a placebo, but there are noticeable and traceable benefits from meditation. It is not for everyone, but you should keep it up. Go a week without and see how different you feel (actually you shouldn't unless you know you can start back up).

of course, you have to be working on yourself in other ways to notice real benefits, but meditation is good to promote you to do other things too, it builds dedication if nothing else.

nah I've done all that and even had a teacher once. in the state of meditation It's okay. Lifting and doing drugs have giving me better results than
just sitting still and meditating. goes right out your ear soon as it's done.

gonna try Transcendental meditation on my next paycheck. since it's a couple grand to start.

i'd say the buzzy head high i get when i meditate is placebo but the centered relaxed feeling i have after is definitely not. you're training your brain to be able to focus better, in what way is that a placebo?

Really consider before you pay for TM. Honestly, it is just mantra meditation. It works for some, but it is pretty hokey. Basically the teacher will "transmit" a mantra that is "just for you," but this is not a proven thing. Even meditation masters of the past have said that transmission like this rarely works.

This is essentially the same thing -> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoʻoponopono

It has different roots, but it is just mantra meditation. As far as I am concerned TM is a scam. Look up some critical pieces about it. NPR just did a short interview with a girl who was raised in a TM community, the book looks decent. Please, just be skeptical of it, especially before you fork over so much money (you could buy so many clothes with that!)

sup faggots

just dropping by to tell you all that being confident does not mean you will have a good fit but having a keen eye for proportions, silhouette, color, pattern, texture, etc. and how they work w.r.t. your body is what dictates if your fit is good or not. developing this "keen eye" will take a lot of time and money but just be glad that your learning as you go on

for example, this guy seems really confident (so confident as to have his own style blog) but holy shit is that such a horrible fit

Part of self-improvement is learning to understand how to dress well (at least if you're viewing this board). I agree, this guy has no clue, haha. Some people just have a good eye for it and others need to study lots. I've already recommended to another that they should look up fashion shows and editorials and such to see what works. Identifying individual aspects that make fits good is important. I think exposure is more so though.

Look for models who have similar proportions to you (the build, not necessarily ho skinny they are) and try and match your fits with how they work with the body. I am sure you can find good examples of lots of different body types dressing well. If you are not skinny or fit, or at least not obese, then you will have a hard time with getting fits to look effortless.

Oh, and learning these aspects of dress will also make you more confident, so I agree, everyone should try it out.

It isn't a placebo. He can believe what he wants, but the science backs meditation as being a very productive, fulfilling, and self-improving practice. There are very few things I will say for a fact, but meditation helping humans is a guarantee.

Still, this isn't to say everyone should, especially not if it causes difficulties for the individual. They should find a teacher so they can learn to understand themselves better. But, physiologically, it's an absolute good.

I won't say they're hurting me, but I'd like to use some of my vast amount of free time to do something else. I truly love them though. I'm not like one of those faggots on /v/ that shit on everything under the sun and make "tired gamer" threads. And I can't see anything making me as happy as I am playing a really good game. I always realized people gravitate towards the interesting ones, but I don't really find myself that interesting.

Playing a game is an experience similar to any other.

I try and organize my life so that the things I do filter into a larger goal. If you can get something bigger than just an experience out of games then they're doing you well. I still enjoy a lot of the themes in Dark Souls for example, and some of the terms and imagery pop up in poems, so I don't consider them wasted time (I don't play anymore, but those are probably the only games I got something greater out of).

exactly. confidence comes with knowledge and not the brash type of confidence but the calm, collected type which imho is true confidence

this is good speculation! and how does one go about rebuilding this connection to self?

Well, everyone has a different path. For me, it has been a lot of meditation, a lot of reflection on my anxieties. You aren't going to get rid of some negative aspects about yourself, but if you can see the negatives and can assess them objectively (see yourself as if you were another, or maybe a character in a book), then you will be making steps towards rebuilding that connection.

Would you be your own friend? If not you should see what values you want in a friend and make it a goal to develop those traits. If you had a pet, how would you want that pet to act? If you have pets, what do you value most in them? If you ask a person this their response tells a lot about what they like in themselves, so maybe you can find what you like in yourself through this exercise.

Develop your good aspects, understand your bad aspects. You can see this in clothing too. We emphasize our strong characteristics and minimize our bad characteristics. But, before you can work with the bad, you have to understand the bad. I hate traditional trousers, I don't like how my butt looks in them. I minimize this by wearing oversize trousers or ones with slightly dropped crotches (Like Harem or Sarouel).

Exactly, you gain this through understanding yourself. You can do this through reading literature, studying how others have assessed themselves and aspects of other humans. I get a lot out of Zen, but it is not the path for everyone. But you have to pair this with study of yourself, but more perspective is never bad (unless it's bad perspective! Be critical).

idk if anyone can help me out here, here goes
I'm fairly confident in my appearance--I get lots of compliments on how I dress, I'm in really good shape now, I pull girls decently and people enjoy being around me. so generally things should be going pretty well
I fucking hate my voice though. It's whiny, high pitched, shrill and really awful to listen to. I think if I had a better speaking voice it would boost my confidence a lot but I have zero fucking clue on how to improve it. please help

>want to look like Fletcher and Wyatt shears
I knew them, before YSL picked them up at least their clothes were all thrifted at good will & salvation army and a handful of vintage resellers in LA/santa ana. I dont remember their names anymore, I haven't lived in ca in a few years. Jet Rag was one, has a ton of leather and sunday $1 warehouse sales. it's how everyone does it in OC, also securing a niche style, their's was like 70s groove + rocker throwback. same story for most bands from the area, or like jim greco, his style's really on display in the skate film here: hammersusa.com/

next, find a friend to spend all your free time taking pictures of each other in your backyard for instagram then sell out to heidi ^^

cigarettes

Femanon here, severe anxiety, depression, anemia ect. Used to cut + made a few suicide attempts which landed me in the hospital but all my scars are fading. Im ~120 lbs but i have a chubby tum and i hate seeing it so im on a minimal food diet. That + anemia + drowsy antidepressants make me faint almost weekly. Cant excercise because shitty lungs. I have an ok face but i feel like i have to overcompensate with my clothes which is kinda why im here. What to do

Seattlite, can confirm
P much all good music comes out of Seattle

ever hit up the nuthole?

listen to jordaan mason and the horse museum's album divorce lawyers I shaved my head

Will that actually help

might help you feel a level of understanding that could be conducive to confidence

All of that alcohol is clearly making your face look like shit.

You can see you look unhealthy just looking at your bloated mug.

this is sad to read, you remind me of so many of my friends. Honestly the only thing I could say would be do your best to get professional help if you aren't already. you also really shouldnt be putting additional stress on your body by not eating, that's just going to bring your immune system down and give you more problems physically as well as mentally. Eat as much as you need to but just eat healthily. this is coming from a dude, but one who as also struggled with weight problems his entire life, as well as having depression. I'm down from 275 at my heaviest last year to about 220 (6"1), so I'm still not fit in the slightest, but I'm much much happier and in a better mental place because I'm just trying to eat well and give my body what it needs, but not overdo it. I hope this helps you in some way and I hope you feel better

singing lessons, maybe - although there are teachers who work on speaking voice specifically I think you're more likely to find a singing teacher near you and I think there's a lot of overlap anyway (breathing from the diaphragm, resonance etc.).

I am not facially attractive in anyway. My skin is pimply and always feels disgusting, in some places it is red and in others it is whiter than fucking snow because i never go outside. My body is skinny fat with too-wide hips and no muscle tone, I have tried to get Veeky Forums for ages but have never succeeded. This is because I have no self control and spend all my time watching internet television, degenerate porn (will not specify) and mindlessly browsing Veeky Forums and facebook in search of humorous images. Sometimes i'm depressed to the point of near suicide and complete debilitation and at other points I feel like the fucking king of the world, it's like being two different people who have nothing in common the only the thing they share being the same consciousness. In social situations I have no confidence and act completely silent because I have no idea what to do, except when I'm with my group of "friends" in which case I overcompensate by acting as loud as possible, desperately trying to gain the approval of others. My friends aren't even real friends and we share no emotional connection, our form of bonding is to constantly belittle the lower status individuals in our group and just plain being terrible people. I have no real friends elsewhere either and I'm totally emotionally distant from all my family members as I try to avoid any emotional connection at all despite it being one of the things I crave the most. I have never kissed a girl in my entire life. My hygiene is shit. I fail in school despite my supposed intelligence. There's a whole host of other problems but I'm running out of space and no one wants to read this much shit anyway. To sum myself up I just feel so out of control that I can feel and experience everything I do but not influence what it is I do at all and also I fucking hate myself.

Oh and also I dress like shit lol

>Oh and also I dress like shit lol
kek
You know what's wrong with you, start improving