How do I take body measurements without a tape measure?

How do I take body measurements without a tape measure?

I fucking loathe images like this

I thought it was pretty funny

Do you have any measurement tips

Yeah, buy 1 meter of rope at your local hardware store then make a noose from it and hang yourself.

Fucking retard
If I had the ability to go to a hardware store I'd just buy a tape measure there
Obviously since I made this thread, I cannot do that

Dumbass

Use a ruler.

Get some string and mark your measurements on that string. From that point get a fucking ruler or something.

I don't have a string either.

use you dick to measure out an inch, 11 more times and then you got a foot. you can use paper.

kek you cant be fucking serious

its 3 dollars at your local convenience store there is literally NOTHING stopping you from going out and buying a tape measurer

have you discovered fire yet? or do you not have access to that either?

just buy a tape measure you fucking inbred,

actually just buy a rope and hang yourself; you're beyond saving

a noose

I'M NOT IN A FUCKING POSITION TO GO OUT AND BUY ONE YOU FUCKING DOUBLE DIGIT IQ IDIOTS
IF I WERE WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE MAKING THIS THREAD
HOW HARD IS THIS TO UNDERSTAND
FUCK ALL OF YOU

Are you stationed in Syria or something? Are you underage without a car? Why would you be unable to buy a tape measure?

You must be a fucking moron if you can't find something that is a universal size, then find a bit of string/belt/ toilet roll and work it out from there.

y tho

are you being held hostage op? we'll send a team after you hang in there buddy

What this guy said op, just use a ruler on your body!
:3
saged

I'm in an empty classroom right now, and I would have to walk a good distance to get to a convenience store. No car because city college student

You're the fucking moron faggot.
>string
As I mentioned no string

>belt
I'm wearing ill fitting pants right now to be comfy on a sunday, if I take my belt off they'd fall down

>toilet roll
If you think I'm going to go to the restroom and take out 60in of toilet paper, mark it up with a ruler, and then wrap it around myself, you are sadly mistaken.

Then don't measure yourself dumbass.
Because you're lazy, you can't, and you won't.

>hurr hurr no string don't wanna walk to convenience store wahhh
>no I refuse to accept any solutions that won't magically conjure a tape measure in my hand
I can see why you're in city college

Wow lads, you really got him!! He'll think twice before posting on this anime image board again!

order one online for literally 1 dollar

If I had a reasonable alternative, I would. That's why I made this thread. And what did I get? Just insults from faggots like you.

If there were no solutions you could have just told me instead of raging like a fucking autist, and I would have accepted it.

>all city colleges are bad
Kek. Only an Veeky Forums autist could come up with such a moronic claim. Not even on Veeky Forums have I seen something like that.

I need it literally right now.

You're an unpleasant asshole and an ungrateful bastard too.

I'M the unpleasant asshole? I asked a simple question related to the board and all I got were insults.
Fuck off autist.

Dude, chill. It's words and when I saw the comments I thought they were pretty funny.
Stop taking everything so seriously. You got a general consensus of no, with what you want, and are willing to do, you CAN'T measure yourself.
Shit man those comments flaming you are just for fun and ya took the bait. Oh well
sage for shit thread