Why were vikings so much better than Slavs? Is it because they were whiter?

They sacked Paris faggot.

Yes, they were whiter.

It's a common symptom of rigor mortis.

By that logic Poland won WWII because nazis are dead and Poles are alive. You got rekt by vikings just like you later got rekt by Brits.

Wow! What happened then? Oh they just ran away. They also became the butt buddys of some greeks aswell, no?

If the vikings are so good, they got absolutely shrekt by so many other cultures, does that not make those cultures and kingdoms way more badass if they shrekt the vikings?

That's because the goal of raids is to get booty and leave not to conquer idiot and vikings were great raiders.

And then we ultimately fucked up them both. If we are seen so lowly how could we kick "muh vikingz" and the brit tard empire back into the sea?

Vikings are literally less than piss. They didn't have horned helmets and huge beards and all that fun stuff, and the only people they were good at killing were civilians and old men. Imagine if they were doing that today and people actually found them "badass".

Divide and conquer... Oy yes!

They are a meme because some retard in 19th century made up their cool helmets.

And because they were fearless and so good at fighting they were hired by fucking Byzantine Empire as bodyguards.

Gosh sure is talented of them to take various lands despite only losing. Are you a butthurt Englishman or something?

>take
*loot

I see you are very proud of your ancestors senpai.
Germanics were always hired as bodyguards since old Roman times because they had no connections and couldn't speak the language so some outsider couldn't bribe them to kill the emperor.

>>that image
You are aware that is blatant cherrypicking yes? The whole of europe was fucking terrified of the norseman and their descendants created the ruling dynasties of england and france. The Byzantines were impressed with them enough that they made them the imperial bodyguard.

I thought it was common knowledge vikings are trash. The lot of you licking viking bum are just biased dumbtards that take part in edgy neo paganism, were biased by the Vikings series or only read a sixth grade history book about them.

Yeah they looted the Kievan Rus into existence, and they looted the French king into giving them Normandy, and they also looted large parts of England and Ireland into their hands.

Look, as a Dane, I can agree that vikings aren't all that, but this daily shitposting about them with a cherrypicked list of battles isn't exactly amusing or close to the truth.

>take various lands
>muh Danelaw that went fuck itself anyway

such massive empire

>I see you are very proud of your ancestors senpai.
Germanics were always hired as bodyguards since old Roman times because they had no connections and couldn't speak the language so some outsider couldn't bribe them to kill the emperor.

Appy to the fact they were hired as bodyguards.

Farmers and peasants, common villagers, yes. They attacked defenseless people most of the time, if not all the time. What do they do when an actual army or band shows up? They are already in their boats paddling away.

>whole Europe

yeah, no and only monks and farmers were scared of them even fucking Moors (NIGGERS) rekt them

>Germanics were always hired as bodyguards since old Roman times because they had no connections and couldn't speak the language so some outsider couldn't bribe them to kill the emperor.
Literally everybody except the Romans themselves fall into that category.

You could argue that the Umayyads fielded the strongest army in the world in the 7th-9th centuries AD.

People inside the empire could speak at least some latin. They needed complete isolation.

Like the Bulgarians which tried to destroy the Empire more than once right?
Or the Armenians which provided a dynasty and had claims on it. And who had a king of their very own, only Myaphisite. Which was not kosher as you may well know.
Or maybe other Slavic tribes? The Serbs or Croatians might have come in handy. Wait no, they resented serving the Emperor and tried to carve their own Despotat in the Central Balkans.
You could probably pick Albanians or Epirots but they couldn't field 10,000 men at home, never mind send them to Konstantinoupolis.
I know, Arabs. They beat the Romans so many times they surely would prove to be fine warriors serving the Basileos. Man, if only they were Christian.

You fucking mong.

They were speaking Greek by the time the Varangian Guard was formed

The germaic tribes fought fiercely against the romans as each of those cultures you listed.

4-5 centuries before that, at least. And the Varyags were literally the first of their folk to meet Romans. Which were hardly Roman at that time.
Or do you just lump Vandals, Lombards, Goths, Norse, Saxons, Frisians, etc. all together?

>>vikings never fought actual armies
Oh really? Is that how they established the danelaw in england and also established footholds in Scotland and Ireland?

The french king ultimately wound up giving them land in northern france because their raids were so effective that the only way he could think to stop said raids was to buy off some of the norse and have them fight off any further incursions into what would eventually become known as normandy.

See above, you seriously asshurt little faggot.

The Germanics in the Guard couldn't hope to take over Constaninople and keep it at that time. All the others could literally summon reinforcements quickly and then hold it. Retard.

>Nig nog all over Europe.
>Somehow great
Do you think in a few hundred years, you'll have people talking about how great the Dindus were?
>Sacked Las Angeles
>Sacked Missouri
>Sacked Baltimore
>Curbstomped French in Haiti
>Conquered South Africa
Why are the Dindus so great? How can anyone compare to their achievements?

I like how you conviniently forgot the fact that neither Ireland nor England were united at the time and later on they both defeated vikings.

>Or do you just lump Vandals, Lombards, Goths, Norse, Saxons, Frisians, etc all together?
Yes

Also, the Rus sieged Constantinople in 860.

Slavs>Nordics, you little bitch
remember Poltava

>yes
Well then, our discussion is over isn't it?

If Rus were vikings then Americans are German.

>couldn't hope to take over Constaninople and keep it at that time
Maybe not, but they could possibly raid it.

They were Germanics, what's the issue here exactly?

Really? And leave with the loot how? Go where?

Isn't it funny how the Veeky Forums board doesn't know shit about history?

Askold wasn't Slavic.

Up the river through Russia obviously.

Yeah they did ultimately get beaten, because hey guess what? The norse were poorer and didn't have nearly as much of an established economy or political unification that would have supported the sort of armies that would have allowed them to control most of the british isles long term.

Oh yeah one other thing? The Norse-descendant Normans wound up conquering england in the end anyway, they also managed a fairly successful assault into Ireland as well.

So yeah, fuck you.

Name some battles involving berserkers then.

oh wow muh Normans

you know Rollo's son alone was 50% french right? By the time Normans conquered England they were so intermarried they were as norse as New Yorkers are Native American. Dumb fuck.

It's term stems from the sagas, and accordingly some of them fought in the Battle of Hafrsfjord

Neither the House de Normandie nor the House d'Hauteville were Norse in any way. They fielded heavy Frankish cavalry and were Catholic Christians. No Norse ruler would have been able to hold England with light infantry troops, ever. Not a united England anyway.

Sagas written centuries after the events they described.

I just said they weren't norse you fucking idiot.

And I was reinforcing your point you fucking faggot.

I don't need any fucking reinforcing you shitstain.

I don't give a fuck you cocksucking nigger.

Speaking of Slavs they burned down Hedeby. Lmao memekings couldn't even deal with slavshits.

Glymdråpa references it. Composed by a scald who was there.

It's debatable how different early Slavs and 9th century vikings were. They mostly likely had a lot in common, their religion being chief in this. It is also not unlikely that the mix of the two peoples lead to the appearance of the House of Rurik and the slow unification of the Russian states

>le norse were so much stronger than slavs >:)
>a-actually we were similar guyz there is no shame in getting rekt by them

kek

Look lad, Vikings were very good at what they were doing: fighting when they wanted. Being lightly armored meant they very mobile, mobility increased by the fact that their boats could sail upriver. This means you fight only when you feel like fighting. They also did it with religious fervor, so that's a bonus. They never would have kept up with a heavily armored enemy, an were usually just a pest, Great Heathen Army notwithstanding.
They abandoned their old ways quickly though, as seen in Normandy, Sicily and if you insist, Novgorod. The minute they got their hands on enough iron, out went the skirmish units and in came the heavy cavalry and infantry. This mostly because not having access to materials, their ,metalworking had to be hot shit, which made them excellent craftsmen. If you consider the d'Hautevilles as Vikings still, they probably fielded one of the best armies in Europe at the time, pound per pound.

What the fuck are you talking about you fucking retard? I'm Latin, I have no fucking stake in this, fuck off with your weaboo faggotry.

You're right except for the ''fighting when they wanted'' part

it's not fighting if they attack unarmed people it's just banditry

Lmao sure thing Sven Bjornokovich you got rekt by fucking slavs faggot.

>Harald Hardrada sacks and burns Hedeby
>Slavs come to a burned down handfull of houses
What an achievement!

Of course. They did fight light enemy scouts or small enemy units I'd imagine. Also, they were quite terrifying as pirates. The ships in the North Sea at the time were heavy and slow, a couple of drakkars could quickly sneak up on them and take them by surprise.

Same reason why three or four Germanic peoples were genocided by the Romans right?

They got rekt by the Irish. I'm Irish, and even I know that's embarrassing.

>danish alternative history

don't forget vikings conquered whole Earth but muh ebil jews send a terminator back in time to kill Bjorn Connor

>I'd imagine

that's a very believable source

>danish alternative history
Do you have any source or are you just here to shitpost?

Why would I care, I wasn't there you cretinous LARPer. Fuck off you cancerous fag

Armor beat no armor 9/10 times. Tactics beat no tactics 10/10 of the time.

No no tell me more about viking transformer wars.

Oh OK, they never fought anyone ever, there literally was no one wielding anything more than a walking stick in all the Viking's plunder raids on the shores of Europe. You mongrel.

Tell me what sort of weapon monks and farmers from coastal villages had I'm eager to learn more about viking age.

>angles, suebians, vandals, visigoths, ostrogoths, saxons
>vikings
fuck off snow nigger those are germans

You're actually suggesting that through all their incursions upriver in France or their colonization of Ireland or their occupation of England they only fought farmers and monks?

Are you implying they raided fucking fortified towns or something?

Are you implying they didn't? Are you that ignorant?

It's written in Heimskringla in Harald Hardrådes saga. Sacked 1050 by Hardrade.

earlymedieval.archeurope.info/index.php?page=hedeby-or-haithabu
Tthen the Wendish in 1066. According to this web page.

>ancient Germanics
>"no armor"
Nice bullshit, Hans. And based off your posting style I am almost completely certain you are the samefag who was spouting /pol/ shit about ancient Germanics being all blonde haired, over 6 feet tall, and magically martially superior to Romans in that one thread a few months ago.

Burhs built by Alfred the Great proved to be successful in dealing with viking raids and I never heard about them sacking any fortified city aside from Paris hell they couldn't even deal with fucking bridges in Frankia.

But what about Transformers Bjorn? What happened to them?

While they were off raiding undefended monasteries,severely undermanned settlements and simple villages,the Wends have founded most modern-day cities in Eastern and Central Germany and and they've also developed a habit of sacking cities,fortresses and castles within the borders of the Holy Roman Empire.They have even organised raids against their Northern "betters",depopulating the regions of Scania and Uppsala in the process and keeping them like that for half a century.

One more thing,the Western civilization had to team up in order to take out the Wends during the Wendish Crusade,while the Vikings were literally extinguished after several minor conversion campaigns.

They're your betters,they've conquered more than half of Europe,they've assimilated more than twenty eight different ethnic groups that have once inhabited Eastern and Central Europe,they're also the reason why you AC electricity,digital electronic computing,electric trams,grain harvesters,space travel,color television,light-emitting diodes,lasers,the radioactive and the heliocentric theory,bullet proof vests,long-range telephones,periodic system of elements and 743 other inventions that have catapulted Mankind into an age of unlimited technological development.

One more thing,while you were busy being irrelevant,they've downed the Golden Hordes,the Teutonic Order,the French,Khazar,Ottoman and Swedish and of course,the Third Reich.

>And because they were fearless and so good at fighting they were hired by fucking Byzantine Empire as bodyguards

They were hired because they had no connections and because they couldn't speak the local language,so no one could bribe them to kill the Emperor.

You were useful idiots at best.

gee I wonder what country you're from Grzegorz

And after Hastings, there many more Saxons than Norse themselves in the Guard. They were also fiercely loyal, but that's another thing

They've only helped to create the first Russian state,they've lacked the numbers,the connections and the cultural institutions to solidify their hold in a completely alien environment.That's also the reason why they thoroughly slavicized after two generations

If he's Polish he's fucking dumb, because the Poles the ones who helped end the pagan Wendish existence,

So why didn't they hire the glorious Wendish instead?

gee I wonder what country you're from Andrzej

And Lesnaya too.

And Rurik's paternal line is of Balto-Finnic stock,so why he is considered Scandinavian in the first place?

Well, Wends weren't migratory, the Norse were. There was a shitload of Frisians, Saxons and other Germanics in the Guard too, its name was give due to the origins, but that is deceiving

This board is fucking retarded.

Harald Hardrada payed them a large sum of gold to fight for him,of course they're gonna accept it.

What about the sack of Konungahella or is that fake too?

I'm not sure if you're a mad scandi or a mad Slav.

This thread is a goldmine of stupid people.

I'm a dude who's disgusted with how retarded some of the people here are. You especially.

This