Remember to:

What the fuck are you doing while showering?

Americlaps would rather it get on their underwear and/or sheets?

why chage pilow cover every night?

Because I sleep without a pillow, obviously.

Really confused here...

Save your face from looking like it was Made by Walid.

Why do you sleep without a pillow was the question.

Because I like to sleep without a pillow, obviously.

What makes you like to sleep without a pillow?

then fucking explain yourself

wouldn't your ass be clean after showering, of all things?

God is what makes me like to sleep without a pillow, obviously.

Maybe. Maybe not.
Do you touch your no-no hole while showering?

Why does God makes you like to sleep without a pillow?

>do i clean myself in the shower
typically, yes i do

His ways are beyond my comprehension, obviously.

Your answers are very unsatisfactory.

mouthwash is some jew shit
clean every bit properly in the shower
don't change pillow cover every night that's ridiculous although recommendable if you're struggling with skin conditions
trimming nose hair is recommended but also having some is really good in colder weather

Yes, obviously.

>Clean your arse-crack after showering
what the fuck are you doing in the shower in the first place if not clean your entire body?
>Dry behind your ears
yes
>Change pillow cover every night
dont need to do it every night unless you sweat like a pig
>Trim your nose hair
yes
>Pluck your ear hair (better yet get the GF to do it)
why?
>Use mouthwash
nope, just floss

Why are his ways beyond your comprehension?

Halitosis as fuck

Just look at men from mid-20s till old age and you will learn why ear hair needs to be dealt with.

God is the all-encompassing form that life gives itself and I am but a cell within it, as such, because my experience is limited to my own perspective, I can not accurately imagine, and therefore not understand, the intricacies of cause, catalysis and effect that are his ways, obviously.

obviously.

>not bending over, spreading your cheeks and blasting your ass clean in the shower

>not dropping the soap and having others do the deep cleansing for you

>2017
>being a pantheist
god is separate from creation ya heathen

Mouthwash kills the good bacteria in your mouth, you pleb. Floss and proper brushing are enough.

Look, I can either put him inside the realm of existence where he belongs or I can put him back in the fairytale realm, but I can't do both (obviously)!

>Halitosis as fuck
never had any complaints, might be because I actually brush my teeth+tongue, flush and eat healthy
>Just look at men from mid-20s till old age and you will learn why ear hair needs to be dealt with.
the majority of people on this board does not need to pluck their ear hair, you and me included, maybe when we turn 60 yes but that's hardly relevant now.

...

Do you use a pressure hose? Otherwise fecal matter stays

are you some kind of closet homo that won't let your hands anywhere near your asshole? Just wash it with body soap like you would any other body part while showering, jesus christ man

Why are you but a cell?

Because in scale with all of existence I am miniscule, obviously.

>Change pillow cover every night
>Use mouthwash
first one seems excessive, second one genuinely doesn't work.
mouthwash works as effectively at removing plaque as seawater does at removing algae from rocks. Despite the facts there rocks have constant trashing of the waves, the algae stays on. Run along it with your fingers and you'll find that it remove it easily.
So for removing plaque and residual food, brush twice a day and FLOSS.
If your goal is to have a fresh smelling breath, remember that a big cause of bad breath is bacteria in the mouth. 70% of these bacteria reside on the tongue. A good way to remove them is by using a tongue brush in the morning.
It doesn't make your breath smell "fresh" like mouthwash does for 20 minutes, but removes the disgusting smells of bacteria.
A pretty generic one like pic related works like a charm. first start with the bristles and finish with the scraper.

cant you just do this shit with a tooth brush? thats what i do, have i been doing something dearly wrong this whole time?

I use my nails.

I am both amused and very confused

Please, for the love of god, explain your shower routine (including the post-shower arse wipe)

?????

dont teach me what to do, instead wash your asshole next time

nah it's just a specialized tool

OP please!!!!

>thats what i do, have i been doing something dearly wrong this whole time?
a tooth brush (specifically a non-electric one) will probably have the same effect as the bristle side of the tongue brush, but you'll see yourself scraping off all the gunk with the scraper side.
honestly they're like 3 euros and you switch it every five months.

>Change pillow cover every night

What difference does it make?

Wipe hard. Probably a slight brown tinge on the white paper.

Why don't you clean while you're in the shower?

Should I shave my pubes and asshole?

acne

shave your asshole right off

I'm actually having a hard time finding a generic one with bristles near me. I keep finding pic related instead, literally just a metal scraper? If I can't find one with bristles would this be alright?

Never knew my asshole was so pink.

Where to cop