What should I include in my resume when I literally have nothing but a degree?

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

What should I include in my resume when I literally have nothing but a degree?

Spamalot
Spamalot

Responsible, mature, sociable personality.
Fast, imaginative, good decision skills,
Great linguistic skills. Can work in a team and coordinate a team.
Can drive a car, a motorbike and a truck.
Want to advance the ladder of the company.
etc.
etc.

Soft_member
Soft_member

You could you know do something outside of looking for work, volunteer, become part of a club, become involved with a campaign, you know things outside of posting things on a Cambodian cockfighting webzine

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

1. stay at home.
2. be willing to work for free to get experience (ie internships or volunteer work).
3. build a portfolio if applicable to your field.

repeat number 2 and talk to people about any full-time work, until you find something.

without even internship experience you have no chance in hell of finding a job through an online database, market is too competitive for entitled asshats like you that spent 4 years spending a min. of 20 hrs/wk with classes and schoolwork. unless you have something to show that you did more than that, hence a really good website/portfolio.

seriously dude? not even a fucking part-time job delivering pizza? pathetic. quite frankly people like you dont deserve a job. fuck this entitled generation.

5mileys
5mileys

This. "gibe me a good paying management position i have a degree! I'm not willing to lower myself for anything less!"

cum2soon
cum2soon

Im currently on my last semester (accounting) and a teacher (director of the course) contacted me to apply for a job offer the university had received.

I was going to look for a job after finishing the degree, since you actually need to be accredited by an institution (similar to AICPA in the US, I think?) in order to work,

w8t4u
w8t4u

then talk to your teacher about it, he clearly wants to help and would understand since you dont have any jobs. plus he would know exactly what you should put on your resume for the specific job, or at least the right direction.

and at least in the US you dont need any accreditation to do free slave work (ie internship) for companies. i highly doubt its that much more competitive to land an internship in the UK. not really a good excuse. any experience is better than no experience and doesn't negate youre a lazy entitled fuck if you have literally NOTHING to show for those 4 years except a degree.

Playboyize
Playboyize

looks like you are going to have to catch up by offering to work for free for 6 months

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

LIE:
.Include high ranking sales (stockbroking positions) related to comods
.Include pretentious phrases like 'im primarily moved by my predacious

Evilember
Evilember

Your perfect driving record printout
buzzwords
extracurriculars

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

i always get angry when i read shit like that
people spouting shit that you have no way to verify also generally their personal opinion and their fucking hobbies.

meh...

i like people who merely state the facts and can handle themselves at the interview.

Booteefool
Booteefool

Hamster wheel

Boomers need to die horrible deaths in their old age. They got to walk off with a liberal arts degree and got a company car when they were done. Meanwhile we get STEM and technical masters, multiple internships, and told to fuck off so they can skim someone from China or India who fits their bullshit HR laundry list.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

You've never done a part time job or a job before uni you can big up? I worked at a petrol station for a few years after college but before uni, supervised one person on the night shifts, but my cv says I was the night manager of a very busy petrol station (it wasn't even open to customers at night) and how this shows management experience ect ect

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

Lie, probably

Not kidding, people have become CEOs before with fraudulent college degrees and work experience.

Illusionz
Illusionz

Pictures of your cock.

/thread

King_Martha
King_Martha

FAKE
YOUR
WORK
EXPERIENCE

I graduated college at a super young age. Even though I was a teenager with a college degree, nobody would hire me because I had no professional work history. And once I got out of college, I couldn't take any internships anymore either, and I certainly couldn't join any clubs, so I was fucked and ended up having to copy paperwork for $13/hr while smug cunts who took six years to finish their degrees with a 2.2 GPA were landing management-track positions with Fortune 500 companies.

I did that for two years before I got fed up with it and decided to turn every single thing on my resume into complete and utter horseshit that made me look like the Second Coming of Christ. And now I have a very nice and cushy position because my employers were too stupid to dig into my references, but I know it's not as good as it could have been if I had just lied during that last year of college and the summer after it when I still had access to campus recruiting and qualified for positions for recent graduates.

LIE. LIE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. BECAUSE IT DOES.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

Responsible, mature, sociable personality.
Fast, imaginative, good decision skills,
Great linguistic skills. Can work in a team and coordinate a team.
Want to advance the ladder of the company.
Into the trash it goes.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

for the cucks who say lie:
anyone who worked at a field and you didn't gives you two three questions and your lie is a bust it will turn out you absolutely have no personal experience with what you are talking about.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

I included some projects I've done at college and maybe the things you specialized in as well

idontknow
idontknow

Great linguistic skills

How would you set up a markov chain to identify the precursors that are lead to our servers overloading?

here's a pen. you have 15 minutes. :)

takes2long
takes2long

2016
sending out resumes

If you're smart you would have made sure to have established a solid network in your field during your college years so your 'friends' will be able to get you a job, and your resume will only be a formality. Degrees are more or less worthless. The main purpose of going to college is to build a network. If you were too stupid to understand this at least after the first year you'll be weeded out. Natural selection bitch.

Playboyize
Playboyize

and your resume will only be a formality.
true
Degrees are more or less worthless.
false. unless you studiedjournalism or someshit

RavySnake
RavySnake

if you are a programmer, upload some of your uni/personal projects to github.
even if you aren't, find a way to prove that you are useful to them

no

JunkTop
JunkTop

If I will have an associates degree soon, can I just include it on my resume? Will anyone even bother to check?

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

soft lips and robust knees

5mileys
5mileys

say you have an associates degree soon. don't lie.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

I had shit for work experience. I tried padding it with a bunch of bullshit but it never really did me any good. I just tried to make it as barebones skill oriented as I could and it ended up filling up like .75 of a page. I just made sure I could throw some jargon around for each of my bullet points.

When I finally got an interview I pretty much said

I'm very willing to put in the time to learn and cooperate since this is my first big boy job - ie come from a place of humility
no task is really off the table (kneepads in the trunk) and I'm willing to do shit outside of my degree area
relaying a story about how I dealt with teammate incompetence in a semester project and ended up pulling through

Then basic non-aspie stuff like eye contact, vocal confirmation, asking good questions, and just acting really enthused about the interview.

I have a STEM degree though so YMMV.

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