Asking a favour and sartorial advice: I'm going to the Vice magazine birthday party in London...

Asking a favour and sartorial advice: I'm going to the Vice magazine birthday party in London, and I want to show the power of Veeky Forums. I've got less than 24 hours and a limited budget, but will obtain and wear any suggestions that I physically can, and then get photographed/thrown out for your amusement.

If any of you are actually in London, and have something cool that fits, I will rent it from you and return it dry-cleaned/whatever cleaning process it demands

>24 y/o male
> Chest 35", waist 28", hips 33", legs 32", height 5' 10"
>Turbo-autist that got really lucky, so my usual style is uninspired Sloane-Ranger prep meets extremely dated nomie grunge

bump

I recomend showing up in full rick

If only I owned even one Rick, but I don't have the money to get full rick in the remaining time

Head down to DSM, stock up on Rick and return later?

Or just stop being cheap and buy it.

This. Make it the shittiest full Rick fit you can muster

Rick is garbage, it is a meme to get people to loose tons of money.

I enjoy Vice's work, you should try to actually go and enjoy the party instead of being autistic and Veeky Forums-ish for the lulz.

Be an actual 24 year old and attempt to enjoy the evening socializing and possibly networking.

You'll want to be comfortable and It's vice so I can't imaging it'll be a suit in tie affair. My advice is go for your standard look but with a super slim fit. You wear a size 28 so you're obviously thin enough to pull this off. It's fall so throw a couple bucks at a nice black denim or leather jacket. Groom, accessorize and maybe wear a nice scent and you're set.

If you see Charlet Duboc, tell her that I love her and want to give her babies and a stable home life with occasional nights out of drinking and marijuana use.

That's a really good recommendation; I honestly had no idea there was a DSM in London because I live under a rock.

I also wanted to do something that would really represent Veeky Forums in all its glory; a little tech, lunarcore, milspo, etc, but full rick is a decent fallback

go rent the ugliest fucking tux you can find.

You're right, user, I love Vice's work too and am thrilled to be going, but the point is that I'm an autist who shouldn't even really be there, so I thought long and hard and made two decisions:
Either Veeky Forums will help me out and I'll look good in front of some of the coolest people in London

Or I'll provide entertainment to the good folks here and at the door.
Plus, I'm a poorfag, so I can't really do too much damage, even to myself
Either way, I'll do my best to pass on your message

Sorry, should have read, "Came to two conclusions"

goddamit dude, this hurts.

>shouldn't even really be there

If that were true then you wouldn't have been invited, no amount of Veeky Forums clothes will help you if that's the attitude you have.

>slim fit suiting
disgusting

I’d lend you my king snake Gucci sweater if I was down south pal.
I’d try charity shops in the more affluent areas in London if I were thou, Chelsea or Chiswick to name but two

Thank you for the thought, user, and the good advice

>I enjoy Vice's work
Soyboys pls leave

I'm closer to chad than soy, reeee normies get out or whatever.

>slim fit suiting

?

The new staff do tend to let their politics show rather a lot, and shy away from anything perceivable as "punching down" but haven't you ever read one of the old Gavin articles? Timeless and hilarious, and the antithesis of "soy"

Speaking of Gavin, what about wearing a black and yellow polo like his new friends do, as a way of honouring him for founding Vice? Or would that get me kicked out since it could easily get interpreted as a political statement?

>I'm an autist who shouldn't even really be there
don't think like that user, ur probably way cooler than any of them, I've realized that a lot kf 'cool people' are just ppl who conform to what other 'cool people' do, act and think, there's nothing cool about herd mentality, and you shouldn't think ur in any way inferior to these people (not that there arent genuinely cool ppl who work for vice but u get my drift)

I live in zone 2 south london and have basically the same exact measurements as u, do u have insta? I have quite a few reasonably wavey garms I'd be more than happy to lend u, styling ppl is fun

Fuck you, and fuck vice, asshole.

Thank you for the kind words, user, and how nice of you! I only just created it, but my insta is dolorsiamet

so we're crowdfunding our fits now?

More like looking for recommendations and paying people, so inverse crowdfunding. Crowdsourcing?

>chest: 35"

go to the gym instead

>vice magazine

Grow out a hipster beard and make sure you smile with your mouth open like all the numales are wont to do.

Wear something androgynous so no one will know what you "identify as" and be too afraid to approach you for fear of fucking that up.

Every inch of skin that isn't your face needs to be tattooed. Bonus points for references to degenerate lifestyle choices like drugs or porn.

Square-toed shoes--worn ironically of course. Oh and if you can find some that have high heels then that will pair well with the aforementioned androgyny stuff.

Just wear a big ol' dildo hanging from a lanyard around your neck. It will come in handy when you go fuck yourself.

No you're not, you gape-mouthed smooth-brained estronaut piece of shit. You're not fooling anyone.

You guys are too retarded for me. How'd we go from talking about Vice and clothes to getting responses like this

35" chest disgusting I have a 39" chest and I would be hedis number one pick for a twerking video

says the retarded cuck

I don't get it. Is this a super special occasion? Vice is always throwing parties in LA and NYC, and they're never as cool as you might expect, even in the Gavin/Dov glory days. I'm sure it's the same in London, and it's definitely been my experience with most guestlist parties. You're over thinking this.

Old VICE was great.
Ever since mcgavin left it somehow turned into some extreme liberal buzzfeed'esq site it's hilarious and cringey watching it now.

Oh you're a piece of shit that escaped from the cesspit /pol/ carry on.

Based Gavin

Levi's jean pants and jean jacket
WHEAT TIMBS

oh, you're a whiny little Veeky Forumsggot who gets butthurt when people object to your shitty threads.

Yah it was definitely better when it was kinda offensive and below the radar enough to not give a fuck. It also helped that they only distributed the mag at certain spots. It wasn't ever at Walgreens or CVS. Also, social media outrage police didn't exist yet.

Getting into DPRK the first time legitimized them and made them a lot more serious and safe. Even when they have a series I like or a mini doc on an interesting subject, I'm not gonna sift through the weed culture "woke" bs to find it. I don't think they're exactly worried about losing my viewer/readership though.

This. The Suicide Forest was my first VICE video. Sadly, it became a political mouthpiece.

vice has been garbage

you're over estimating these cool people from. they're all bearded nerds with twisted moustaches

Do it.

Honor thy fallen.

this you op?

Uhuru!

Make him proud

Vice is literally, empirically the least "cool" brand in existince.

>youtube is the coolest and most aware brand

to be fair, a better criticism against vice is that it is shitlib, degenerate garbage.

> hardcore leftie
> chad

yeah, no

Rahowa!

The only people that read vice or are aware what it is are cynical contrarians that don't think anything's cool

>Charlet Duboc

I want to impale her with my BBC tbqh

Thank you all for your contributions and advice. I've considered it carefully and am going to wear either Poorfag's 2013 Slimane rip-off

Vintage and Levi’s

Optional extras: big gay school scarf, enormous jumper, dead leaves Hawaiian shirt, gamer shirt

Or these, with pale jeans

butthurt literal nazis incoming

yes how did zou know?

Yes, that's me

its me. your mother

this could actually work, but the longsleeve sucks, wear either that one with the asian writing or go full retard and wear the track suit jacket with it. Or just wear the things in the last picture, no pants boots and jacket from pic one.

I think most people are talking about the print era vice and maybe some really early online video stuff. I know I was. It started getting safe and soft around 2009-2010. They still have a good piece here and there, but they've lost a lot of their irreverence and humor.

This is my pick.

Your trips spoke truly; that’s what I chose

Thanks for the good advice; wish I’d seen it before I left


As it so happens, I’m a moron who can’t read and the party is next week