You wake up as Kaiser Wilhelm II on the day of your coronation

You wake up as Kaiser Wilhelm II on the day of your coronation

How would you prevent Germany's downfall?

DON'T BUILD THE FUCKING FLEET

Seriously, I cannot overstate how retarded a decision that was. It drives England into the arms of France and Russia, and it wastes billions on a deterrance strategy that doesn't have a hope in hell of working, because you build your boats to be too short ranged even if you can bring the British to battle and defeat them (hint, you can't).

And they're so absurdly expensive and such an investment in national prestige and your budget, that you can't risk losing them, so they'll probably just sit in port looking impressive.

Buy a fucking gold toilet, it would be a better use of the resources. Or better yet, try to make sure that France and Russia don't get along, and play on the cracks in the Balkans. Don't rush into some mega-war, there's literally nothing to be gained that you didn't get in the Franco-Prussian war. If you do need a long term preventive war, make sure to isolate Russia, make it a 1v1, or better yet, you and your friends vs just Russia.

Don't be autistic.
Like, srsly.
That fucking phrase is thrown around a lot here but holy shiiiiiiit that guy was a colossal autist in exactly the way the word is used as a colloquial insult

Don't piss literally everyone off.

Just be bros with Russia.

/thread

Shoot myself

Remember that all this shall pass, and then everyone else will be busy with the Americans.

- renew reinsurance treaty with russia
- keep france isolated
- do everything to intensify great game between britain and russia. the two must be at each others throats. on that note, don't spook britain with naval buildup
- conduct intensive psy-ops campaigns in american politics and prevent the election of globalist anglophiles like teddy roosevelt and woodrow wilson.

finally, this is probably too great an abuse of the benefits of hindsight, but lavish funding on nuclear physics. when, in half a century, germany is the first country to have nuclear weapons and suitable delivery mechanisms, then it can proceed to hold the world to nuclear ransom and raze any countries with nuclear holocaust that don't submit to rule germania.

>ywn use greensight to warg into Wilhelm II and fry "bauen nicht die Flotte" into his brain

By not ranting about how I hate all the other nations to national news

No unrestricted submarine warfare. Focus on knocking Russia or of the war quickly and then the Western Front. Appease the US to prevent then from entering the Great War.

So, clone Bismarck?

Abdicate and put Bismarck on the throne

DELETE THIS

>Try to unfuck Bismarck's retarded diplomatic system without creating an even more fucked system
>Fail because Bismarck set Germany up for the fall and Wilhelm gets the blame for it
>Abdicate

Ally with Britain and Japan during the 1904 Russo-Japanese war and try to escalate the conflict to ww1 levels, only this time it's a 7 vs 4 (Britain, Japan, Germany, Austria-Hungary, Ottoman Empire, Italy, Bulgaria vs Greece, France, Serbia, Russia).

Break up Germany into separate states

Build concentration camps for all the commie subversive jews where they will stay until they get kicked out to palestine where the brits can then deal with them

>No unrestricted submarine warfare

Kys, this was literally a necessity for the survival of germany because britain tried to starve it with the naval blackade. Plus they started it anyways

Yeah, and the US did not give a shit about that and came and #rekt us.

Build a bigger fleet, court America and focus on destroying the Eternal Anglo.

I would add to this to never contact your relatives again unless out of diplomatic necessity. As Wilhelm II I have a tendency to be an absolute prick for no reason whatsoever and use my country as a measuring stick for my cock.

Also, I wouldn't immediately fire the most senior advisor and man who near-singlehandedly formed Germany. I would politely ask him to stop suggesting he'll kill himself or resign if his demands aren't totally met however- as Bismark did have a penchant for being a fucking child if the Kaiser doubted him at all. Wilhelm I, in my opinion, would have benefited from taking Vienna and solidifying Austria into the new German state while abandoning its Hungarian elements. Bismark's decision to not push into Vienna and make Austria diplomatically subservient is what lead to the disaster of the Black Hand.

Focus on agricultural reform and internal infrastructure. The political troubles started as bread riots.

Do something to ensure Italian loyalty. Sure, they'd still suck at fighting, but more French soldiers fighting in the Alps and more Austrian soldiers free to die fruitlessly in the east is bound to be a positive

>just fick my arm up

>Bismark's decision to not push into Vienna and make Austria diplomatically subservient is what lead to the disaster of the Black Hand.

You can hardly blame Bismark for Wilhelm II's Blank Check or Austria being unable to deal with its internal problems.

>Implying he said it because of moral reasons
>implying he didn't say it because of the gigantic diplomatic consequences it would get with the USA

Don't get involved in the war at all. If the shit starts just abandon Austro Hungary and maintain neutrality while focusing on science and economics. Like that earlier guy said focus and spend alot on nuclear research. Try and build nukes and delivery system, then take out the UK and America those would be the most powerful and dangerous nations, with those out of the way the world is in Germany's hands. But before that, you can't get involved in any fights, avoid provoking anyone from the Russians, to englhish, to french, to the americans. Try to reconcile with France also so they don't get mad at me. Because I can't afford a war.

>Mfw i realized the kaiser did nothing wrong

bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte bauen nicht die flotte

Oh, and I almost forgot, up the propaganda game. The US had large German, Irish, and Finnish populations that had every reason to hate the Entente. Even civilians in Britain and France were questioning why they were helping the Tsar, whose reputation was dismal. Painting the Kaiser as a barbarous Hun eased that discomfort.

Change that narrative. Not only is the Entente keeping Germany out of the sun, but they're fighting to defend murderous terrorists! They claim to be fighting for freedom, but the "barbarous Huns" have more political freedom than the average Englishman, let alone Russian.

The American public was turning against imperialism, so play up that angle. The British want you to fight for them so they have more men to repress good honest Irishmen, the family you left in the old country!

World War 1 was a battle of narratives, and reframing that narrative could only help Willy.

And for fucks sake, arrest Zimmerman before he can admit the telegraph was genuine.

I would...
>focus on submarines
>Promote the development of heavy artillery, machine guns and motorized vehicules
>Reach an agreement about Alsace-Lorraine with France
>Settle all colonial issues with Britain, trying to get portuguese colonies in Africa.

Once I secure a good diplomatic position with France and Britain, I would just prepare for an invasion of Austria once the empire collapses and promote independence for the baltic states and Finland

the "barbarous Huns" have more political freedom than the average Englishman
Really?

A higher percentage of the population could vote than in Britain. Not that it matters given how little power the Reichstag had.

Of course, it's fucking 1914, what are they going to do, check politifact? There's no law saying you have to tell the whole truth in propaganda.

>When asked what was the greatest political fact of modern times, Bismarck is reported to have responded, that it was "the inherited and permanent fact that North America speaks English."

The most you could do is hope the USA stays neutral

"Hey Otto, keep doing what you've been doing for the past decade"

This is literally the first thing that comes to mind whenever I see one of these threads.

The British blockade was probably 75% of the deciding factor during the war.

youre OFFICIALLY retarded