How to?

I have $500 in disposable money, how do I get started in stocks?

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Now's not really the time.

buy bitcoins

blackjack

buy tea

Buy 500 dollars worth of non perishable blow jobs

Buy penny stocks at the very very bottom.. .0001-.0009 range and hope they go up.

Buy Euros.

Buy some vti or itot tomorrow when the markets shit themselves over Brexit

its not worth buying stocks with only 500 bucks

if he put in 500 every time he could it eventually would be

i would say hes better off just putting it into his 401k or IRA

Not him but, is there an e-broker you'd recommend that I could set up tonight?

Buy calls

unless he has a particular emotional attachment to some company that he wants to own stock in. which i totally understand, but just have appropriate expectations...hes not going to be the next soros or buffet with that pocket change lmao

hmm... i dont know, most ebrokers take a few days to set up and register/validate your bank accounts, etc. im sure theres something out there but i dont know of it

What about buying AUY or KGC to play the gold card once the NYSE opens post brexit?

isnt the stock low now though? then i assume it will come back up and thats when you sell?
i know nothing of this shit though thats the way i understand it

meanwhile in BTC land coinmarketcap.com/currencies/bitcoin/#charts

Second this question. Wouldn't it be a good idea to pick up the stocks that dropped in response to the panic?

All the companies I would want to own stock in aren't NEARLY large enough to be publicly traded.
I wonder how much I would have made when FFG was acquired by Asmodee...

I have a question, Veeky Forums.

If I am near death then can I make a huge loan at a bank and then anonimously give the money to a friend of mine without any repercussions?
Nobody will know who I gave the money to.
Everyone will know I'm dead so they can't ask anything from a dead man.

Do you wanna exploit a dying relative?

>inb4 they're dying anyway

bump

jesus dude if you try and take a huge loan they are gonna check if you can pay it back. If you walk in after your chemo or w/e they wont let you walk away with a pile of money. And even then how are you going to transfer the money? Maxing out on withdrawals every day is not low profile