/ss13g/ Spessmen on a Spess Station General

THICK. IN. SPESS. Edition.

>What is Space Station 13?
youtube.com/watch?v=FHH1vfY6HTA
pastebin.com/VNcX2Quc

>New player guide
ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/The_Basics
ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/General_Help

>BYOND client
byond.com/download/build/LATEST/

>Pomf Serbian, main Veeky Forumsstation server, running a vote script to change maps at round end.
byond://game.ss13.moe:7777

>Test server
byond://ss13.moe:1337

>Public server list
byond.com/games/exadv1/spacestation13

>Forum, ban list and logs for vgstation
ss13.moe/forum/
ss13.moe/index.php/bans
game.ss13.moe/logs

>How do I connect to the servers?
Hit the cogwheel in the upper right corner of the BYOND hub and pick "Open Location"

>Map renders collection: updated nightly
ss13.nexisonline.net/img/map-renders/

>Coderbus, here!
github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13
@rizon #coderbus @rizon #vgstation

>SS13 booru for all your SS13 images!
ss13.booru.org/

>How To Install BYOND: The Video Tutorial: The Movie
youtube.com/watch?v=-iWiZwv9f1o

>Nostalgia
boards.fireden.net/vg/search/text/ss13g/

>OP Pastebin
pastebin.com/87FjnR7M

>doesn't even try to make the OP image related
Fuck you OP

I RECOGNIZE THOSE FACES user.

first for excellent may mays

You had ample time to make a thread first. Almost 100 posts over the bump limit on the old one.

>shitters

I want Julia to be my thick Pancake.

I have literally never seen any of these waifu characters you all shit yourselves about

>tfw no metafriend
I just want someone to always have my back

Be a likable person.
If you don't know how to be one, just follow the golden rule.

>you will never feel Intigracy tickle your cervix

>getting your cervix touched
>pleasant

This doesn't work right now since they aren't on the server adminning, meaning they are sleeping I assume

>everyone is the same

Some masochists do actually get off to it.

I don't know how you could possibly like it, every time I get my cervix touched it feels deeply uncomfortable

HEY WAIT A MINUTE THE CERVIX IS A GIRL PART

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

THE WHALE FROM FREE WILLY DIED ALONE BECAUSE ALL THE OTHER WHALES WOULDNT ACCEPT HIM, IM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL KILLER WHALES

Hi SJ

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

Well, how soon is it into the session is it? If I'm too excited I'll smash into my girlfriend too fast and she'll groan about the pain later, but if there was adequate foreplay and things are already hot and sweaty then she'll hurt my dick with her cervix.

I know a japanese guy that can hook you up with a job like that
That way you can get paid AND get revenge

GIRLS?
IN MY SPACE STATION
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

Having your cervix bumped feels like being jabbed really hard but up your twat.
You don't want that shit.

LETS DO IT, I WILL GET REVENGE FOR WILLY

Kammerjunk is a man, you're all men till proven other wise with real evidence

>tfw I just found out that cervix penetration isn't something that I can realistically hope for from a future gf
I thought it would be super hot, penetrating into a girl's deepest regions
Doujins lied to me

Do it anyway. Fuck 'em

It's not, they usually wince, and it just feels like more vagina except a little knotty.

>it just feels like more vagina except a little knotty.
PROBE WHAT DID YOU DO

Let's be honest with ourselves. None of us will ever get a girlfriend. You can't talk to girls. Hell, you can't talk to boys either. If a girl is ever attracted to you you're too socially inept to do anything about it. Good girls are hard to come by and you can't lower your standards any more. You're growing older, soon you'll be out of college, all the girls you meet will be old too. Just. Give. Up. Doesn't apply to you? Just. Get. Out.

>tfw you will never literally inflate a girl's tummy with your sperm

I have a gf and I've been dating her for over 4 years

We can always pretend~

...

Forget to take my name off apparently.

God stop please let my fetishes be hidden from the mainstream

Well technically you can you just have to get her pregnant

Cum inflation, cervix penetration, impregnation, incest, futanari, handholding here

I was with you until futa

getting bred

Futa is literally straighter than straight porn

Hi Deadpoo

I don't give a shit about how straight or gay it is motherfucker I'm not insecure about my sexuality

>deadpoo is into the same sick shit I am
I'm kind of disgusted by myself now

Who is the least fun allowed admin?

Veeky Forums ERPstation 13 when?

dont bully

Niggly, hands down
This isn't even a question

The no-fun-allowedness of an admin is inversely proportional to their virility.

SPACE STATION 13!
I REMEMBER WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY FLOODED PLASMA TRYING TO SPEED RUN MY DISTRO OPTIMIZATIONS AND A PLASMA COOLER AT THE SAME TIME! IT WAS A LOT WORSE BECAUSE IT WAS EXTENDED AND EVERYONE'S AUTISM PROJECTS WERE RUINED, INCLUDING ONE GUY WHO WAS COLLECTING ALL OF THE COLLECTABLE MECH TOYS FROM THE ARCADE MACHINE!

SHARE WITH ME SOME OF YOUR MISTAKES HERE IN SPACE OTHER THAN OPENING THIS READ AND READING PAST THE 6TH POST!

WILL YOU ERP WITH ME user

I used a hacked AI board on a borg and admins saw and laughed at me

I was that admin.That was absolutely adorable and I'm so glad the borg didn't go full valid on you either.

I once threw an entire bar full of Syndicate Bombs out into space when I was new
I came back in thinking I had saved everyone
The bartender just looked at me and asked "Why?"

I accidentally put plasma in distro while testing pipe bursting when that was in the game. I wanted to put lots of pressure in and didn't know any atmos really so I just filled lots and lots of gas to the mix line.

A wizard cast fireball and instead of a ded guy or a blown up wizard, it broke the pipe and unleashed and ignited a plasma fire.

I was a MoMMI. I got yelled at, but it took the admin 10 minutes to understand how it even happened.

As I was messing with the mix line, the AI tried to add N2O to distro to knock out the wizard without realizing I was playing with pipes.

I once tried to learn Toxins

I ended up in medbay 10 minutes later

I can't get a girlfriend because the more a girl is attracted to me the more I am disgusted by them, and the more they hate me the more I am attracted to them.

>not just hatefucking

...

/trash/ was a mistake
No thread ever gets moved there, it's just a breeding ground for furries
You shouldn't be able to make threads on /trash/ and mods should move more threads there

Fastest turnaround I've ever seen on an image I've posted before.
Nice choice of title, by the way.

Wonder how long it'll take moot to blanket-ban everyone there.
... Wait.

>tfw no moot

Serb down or something?
Byond's bitching that it can't connect to its own website. And before anyone mentions it, yes, I'm on 510.

I didn't post yours, you peacocked faggot. It's much older than that.

Tales of the travelling bartender

>Have every bottle in a box in my bag and a bunch of drinking glasses
>Can make anything that wouldn't require mining to be active
>Travel the station, bringing the bar to the crew
>First stop: R&D
>"Sorry I'm busy" walks out of the room
>Despite me simply asking him what drink he wants, he's too busy to answer
>I then try security
>The officer that arrives says "Drinking is haram" when I ask him what he wants
>Next up cargo
>Nobody home
>Decide to ask the captain in the hallway
>Asks for doctor's delight
>One of the few things I can't make because no medbay staff
>Try the kitchen
>Chef ignores me as he makes ice cream for a few minutes and I stand there waiting
>Try chemistry
>The virologist is there
>"Maybe later"
>Ask another officer I see in the halls
>"No, drinking is bad"
>Go to robotics
>"I'm not thirsty"
>Stop an assistant in the halls
>"Maybe later"
>Eventually take my own life when I realize nobody wants me around

>you peacocked faggot
Okay, that's hilarious.

Did you carry around a lighter or matches to make flaming B-52s? I'd have ordered the shit out of that and chugged it right in front of you.

I did have the Zippo on me.

Tell me more, aniki.

Who? What?

>the roboticist

>One of the few things I can't make because no medbay staff
Microwave the kitchen Donk Pockets and grind them up while they're warm to get tricord.

Okay. I played the game since 2011 I don't make mistakes kid. Get on my level. Here's one I made recently.

>Be round start changeling.
>0 Absorbs
>Outside HoP's office.
>Guy is holding two armed bear traps in his hand
>"I can't move while holding these bear traps!"
>Oh that's interesting.
>He throws me a bear trap.
>I pick it up and arm it.
>He still has one in his hand, armed.
>Nobody is around and I'm 4 tiles away from the HoP's maint.
>Drop my armed bear trap
>Flash him and silence sting him
>He drops his armed trap
>Accidentally step on his bear trap while moving to maint.
>Moving ridiculously slowly to the maint door with this silence stung guy at a high traffic area
>Have to reflash the guy so he doesn't get up, cannot risk cuffing in such an open area
>HoP sees me flash him and stuns and cuffs me.
>Start screaming that he was a changeling and cryostung me
>He cuffs the other guy too and pulls him
>While he's cuffed I'm running away as fast as possible in cuffs with a bear trap on.
>See the Mime and ask him to uncuff
>He manages to get the cuffs off but doesn't realize I have a bear trap on my leg
>At this point his silence sting wears off
>HELP LING FUTUR LING SILENCE STUNG ME!!! all over the radio
>At this point I'm maybe 10 tiles right of the HoP office
>HoP comes down the corner with the guy I stung
>I run south as he starts spam shooting disabler beams and tasers at me
>I get knocked down but he has no cuffs so he starts beating me to death with his baton
>Manage to get up with about 20 percent health and run around in engineering maint
>HoP runs away (out of charge on his gun) while calling for back up
>Try to resist my bear trap off but 20 seconds later I'm found again by a secborg and like 4 other people
>Get beaten to death, cuffed, welded in a locker.
>Incinerated before I can regenerate.

That's the only mistake I made in a long while antag wise...

>spooky religion

>end up a skeleton

meme magic

would you a goliath

Tell me how hilarious and charming I am. Worship me~

WHY CAN'T I ALT-LEFT CLICK ANYMORE?

Fags really like playing this game, huh?

Fags make up 100% of this server's population. Get with the times, Johnny Jeans'n'Shirts.

... No? No. No!

Yes.

You were the clown, right? [\spoiler] I was the Borg. Someone else set the singulo loose and it ate your objective so I hijacked the shuttle to cheer you up.

Haven't done xenobotany in a while, and chef was hammering at me the whole time.

Made Kudzu that would catch people and suck their blood. Kind of a lame/tame kudzu.

I've made Kudzu before that spread a lot faster, and after catching people it would inject them with SpiritBreaker.

Now THAT was some good kudzu.

Yeah that was me. I still can't believe how easily it was hijacked

is paradise station shit? I just had 5 security stand around my cell just waiting to flash me. What a bunch of faggots.

yes

Last time I went to paradise, I was spawnkilled at arrivals by an Admin-controlled pony mob.

Alt+F4
Never again.

>have like three acid smoke grenades set up on the shuttle
>borg arrests me for no reason so I can't set them on
2000% mad

fug :DDD

>get tator
>panic
>screw up

>SCP

Who the hell drops something like that, a one-hit invincible killer that can't be deleted or avoided, into the fucking goone cage?

It was post shuttle dock at centcom.

>SCP meme mobs

Best SCP added when? :^)

But user, we already have the vending machine that vends anything

Guardian is dead in the water now, if someone else wants to do it go nuts.

>Yahir Sperglinger goes on witchhunts against ERPing degenerates who have metarelationships and communicate through an unlogged platform
>Has nevill on steam and drags him around with him every single round

I'm sure the irony isnt lost on all of you.

What if they made the Discord, not Sawbones?

ok

How did Nevill become so beta?
How could a real spessman like Nevill go from bombs to dongs?

law two stop bullying me